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 Posted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 5:26 pm
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Posted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 7:01 pm
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Sex can hurt, but it doesn't have to.
Pain during sex is usually due to the woman being too dry, too nervous, too tense, and/or not fully in the mood. Those things can happen at any age and regardless of how many times a woman has had sex. But it's especially common for women to be dry, nervous, tense, and not fully aroused their first time.
That doesn't mean the girl has to feel pain her first time though. If she is too dry, she can use a store bought lubricant. If she is nervous or tense, she can wait until she is more comfortable. If she is not fully aroused, she can engage in more foreplay. So while those things can all cause pain, they are also pretty easy to fix, and the pain is completely avoidable in almost every single case.
So why do so many people feel pain their first time even though pain is avoidable for almost every single woman? Well, a lot of girls don't realize that the pain is avoidable. They think that the first time is supposed to hurt. They think it has to hurt. They think they just have to suffer through it. So they don't even try to avoid the pain, then they go off and tell their friends that sex hurts!
So if anyone ever tells you that sex has to hurt the first time, that it is supposed to hurt the first time, or that it always hurts the first time, they don't know what they're talking about! While pain during sex certainly does happen, it's almost always avoidable and therefore not something you have to worry too much about. If you are well lubricated, relaxed, comfortable, and in the mood, then it is unlikely that you will feel pain. If you are ever well lubricated, relaxed, comfortable, in the mood, yet still feeling pain, then talk to a doctor about it. While it's not as common, sometimes infections or other issues down there can cause pain during intercourse.
Check out this site for more information on that: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/pink/from_ow_to_wow_demystifying_painful_intercourse
I'd recommend waiting a little longer though. You say you're nervous and "don't feel so sure about it." So why rush into it if you're nervous and are not sure that you're ready? Also, if you've been reading about how much it hurts, that means you haven't been reading reliable sources. And if you've been reading misinformation on that part of sex, well, you might have been reading misinformation on other aspects of sex too. Sex is fun, but it's also a big responsibility. And you should know the facts about things like STDs, pregnancy, birth control, lubrication, etc. from reliable sources before having sex.
I recommend:
- Waiting until you feel ready.
- Doing some research (on birth control options, STDs, pregnancy, lubricants, etc.)
- Having at least one method of birth control that you know how to use, preferably one hormonal method along with latex condoms.
- Making sure you can get to an ob-gyn for birth control, paps, STD tests, information, and anything else you may need. If you are a teen and don't want your parents to know or if you don't have health insurance, look for a clinic like Family Planning or Planned Parenthood. (You can visit www.plannedparenthood.org/ to search for a clinic near you).
- Having a plan of action just in case you do get pregnant.
- Understanding that sex won't necessarily make your relationship better or longer lasting.
If you have any other questions, feel free to ask here, ask your doctor, or check out some reliable websites ( www.scarleteen is a good one, so is www.plannedparenthood.org/ and http://kidshealth.org/teen/ )
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