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 Posted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 12:12 am
Kyn didn't know how to talk about this. Her husband was her best friend and she could tell him anything but this just seemed...too much. The drive to the library felt longer than it really was while she turned everything over in her head. He'd be starting his patrol right about now if she knew him at all. Sarah was with a sitter so they wouldn't be disturbed. "Darling?" There was a lot to fill him in on. She knocked on the door to the library and looked for him inside. "Tony?"
Tony was just finishing his last walk through of the library when he heard someone knocking on the front door. Reaching into his pocket instinctively, as if he was already resolved to open the door for whoever it was that wanted to get one last book after hours. He was too nice,sometimes. He looked out of the glass door to see Kyndall standing there, blinking in surprise. "Oh, hello darling, he called through the door. He opened the door for her, letting her into the library and closing the door behind her. "Are you alright? What are you doing here? Is something wrong with Sarah?" Or the dogs, or one of the older kids, or maybe something related to their status as knights? he had a lot to worry about, most days, and he usually made sure to cover his bases.
"No, no, Sarah's fine. She's with a sitter. I, ah, we need to talk." She'd kept this from him for a few weeks already and it was weighing heavily on her heart. "I have something I need to show you." She followed him inside and let him close the door, instinctively moving toward his office where there weren't any windows. Once they got inside she finally moved to give him a kiss on the cheek. Once she kissed him she looked at him and smiled haplessly, shrugging. She powered up to knight in front of him to explain half of what she had to say. She was at his level, finally the strongest she could be.
Tony looked relieved and worried at once, which was difficult to accomplish but he somehow managed it. he moved with her into the library, toward the office area. There was his desk and some chairs, as well as a sofa with a blanket on it in his office. He smiled at her kiss but he couldn't shake the feeling of dread that was in his gut. Had something happened to one of the kids, or the dogs? Was she breaking up with him? Was that what it was called? It would just be a divorce, wouldn't it? What had he done to warrant that? His brain was running away with the worry, and he tried to clear his mind and focus on the moment, rather than dreading all the things that could be in the future. When she powered up his eyes widened and he looked excited at that, taking a moment to take it in. "Oh, sweetie. You look so beautiful! You're a Knight! How incredible! I'm so proud of you!" He couldn't help but gush, moving to her and giving her a hug, kissing her lovingly. He would still worry about her, but now that she was a knight, he felt she was stronger, and had proven that she could take care of herself. And he knew she could. She had the will, and now she had the rank to match. They made a formidible team, for sure. He drew back, catching her hands in his hand holding them between them. He opted to power up as well, doubting there were any negaverse soldiers too close around. Most had gotten the idea that the library area was patrolled heavily, and stayed away at the start of the night. He smiled when he felt her aura, shaking his head. "Amazing."
"I know, I can hardly believe it myself." She smiled at him and let him gush for a minute or two more. His praise meant the world to her and when he powered up as well she couldn't help but stare as she always did. Her knight in shining armor, her husband and best friend. Her partner in and out of costume. But with this incredible gift came a very distressing tale. After a minute Shalott powered back down into just plain Kyndall. "It's incredible." The costume seemed to reflect her maturity and her desire to get away from combat and move on to the more nurturing desires she had. "Tony, I need to tell you." Her expression grew darker and more drawn as it used to look before she retired. "When this happened I...I hadn't wanted to power up but there was this child, a chibi senshi, and she needed help. They were on the roof and I was trying to protect her. I powered up to this and we were wrestling, he fell. Tony, I tried to reach him but I was too late he fell and it was so far! He...he died." There were tears in her eyes when she finished and she sank down onto his couch. "I killed him. It's my fault."
He watched her and powered down as well, after a quick sweep of the surrounding area with his senses. He watched her, seeing her change in attitude and slipping back to worry. "Darling..." he said carefully as she looked at him in that distressing way. He moved them to the couch to let her sit down while she spoke, listening to her story and frowning. He blinked at her, putting together that she meant she was defending a chibi senshi from someone, presumably a Negaverse soldier or maybe even one of the angrier chaos senshi out there. That was who had fallen, and who had died. He felt his heart sink but he moved to put his arms around her, holding her to him because he couldn't see her cry. He kissed the top of her head, taking a slow breath to steady both himself and her. "It's okay, darling. I know it's hard... but these kinds of accidents... they happen. We don't want them to, and we fight so hard to keep everyone safe, but sometimes, there are those that just won't be protected. That won't stop fighting for Chaos, and that push us too far. And accidents... in battle... you can't hold yourself responisble for it, you did everything you could. I know it's hard, believe me." He had killed a Negaverse Captain to too long ago, after all, and it had been a very difficult time for him. He'd seen others die, heard tales of deaths. It was a part of the war that fueled him to work toward that peace they so desperately needed.
"Tony, I killed someone!" She pressed her face against his chest and cried harder, feeling guilt suffuse her entire body. "I felt that chibi up there and heard her cry out in fear. All I kept thinking about was what if it was Sarah or Harmony? What if it was Nathan?" Finding out her stepson was a senshi was quite a blow to her worries. It only happened a few weeks after Sarah was born when she first felt alright to get up and move about. "I guess I lost my mind in the moment. That's when I felt myself getting stronger, when I knew I needed to save that chibi. I didn't know how strong I'd feel." It was the strength that did it, sending her to throw the Negaverse agent over the ledge of the building on accident. She didn't know Tony had killed someone for himself once upon a time. "You don't know how hard it's been, keeping that from you for all this time. I just didn't know how to tell you. I couldn't deal with it." She wrapped her arms around him and inhaled the scent of his aftershave and let that soothe her as much as it could.
"I know how hard it is, Kyndall. I've killed in this war before. I know many people who have. Order and Chaos, willingly or not. It happens, and we have to deal with the consequences, yet, but what happened to you was an accident. That doesn't make you a murderer. It should make your resolve stronger. You still believe in peace, don't you? In finding a way to end this war, for these very reasons. So we can stop the need for these deaths. Use what happened as an example, as a memory to bear with you to remind you how easy it is, how dangerous it is. But don't let it crush you. Don't lose your resolve." He shook his head, not blaming her for her tears or how upset she was. He loved her, and he would always support her. If she needed him, he would be there for her. "You'll be okay, my love. I know you will, I've seen you face everything that's been thrown at you so far, and you always come through, no matter how hard it is. And I'm here for you. Whatever you need." He was going to skip patrol tonight, so he could take her home and they could spend some time with their baby and just be together. It seemed like she might need it.
"You've killed someone? Why didn't you tell me?" Kyn sniffed and tried to wipe her tears away and calm down. His words always meant more to him than he knew. "Yes, Tony, all I want is peace! I want to go back to what I originally wanted, to guide these children. This isn't something for them." More than ever this made her want to sue for peace. Their goal together had always been to help those younger than them in this war. "My love." She clung to him because it made her feel better. She'd been especially affectionate lately because of all of this and because of his discovery, too. "How did you deal with it? How did you ever feel normal again?"
Tony frowned at her thoughtfully. "I suppose the same reason you didn't want to tell me. It's not easy for any of us, but it happens. I don't know how to make it easier, and I will always carry the weight of her death with me, but that is what I mean. I use that accident as a temper, to keep me from going too far again." It had all been a terrible accident. He'd moved to defend a senshi whose name he could not even remember, but he had swung his shield and connected too accurately with the Captain's head. It had killed her, and he was left feeling terribly guilty for it. It didn't help that she had blue hair, and for a moment he had thought he'd killed Lina. "You just keep on going. I don't have any real advice for it, for finding normal again. But it comes back, it always does. For me, I focused on my family, on the good things I was fighting for. I can't stop now." It was just as he said to her, he was speaking from his own experience. He just had to keep himself focused and use the bad things that happened to fuel his resolve and keep him fighting for good.
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Posted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 4:01 pm
"I'm worried for Harmony. How do I ask her if she's in this fight without revealing what I know?" Their little girl was getting ready to move out on her own much to her mother's disappointment and fear but, after all, Harmony was a high school graduate and a college freshman. She needed somewhere quiet and close to campus and her job. It made sense only, Kyn didn't think she had to like it. "What if it was Nathan? Has he killed? Could he be killed someday?" Would they find his body if that was the case? On purpose, on accident, at that point it wouldn't really matter. She had to face facts that her stepson was very reckless and seemed to carry a devil may care attitude with him wherever he went. "Tony, I'm frightened." She couldn't lose more of her family. It wasn't so much a worry that she'd go too far in the heat of the moment though she'd had close calls with Benitoite and Remarque but she could not protect anyone else from that same heat of the moment. Losing her family was a notion that terrified the poor woman. After all, her entire family died within three months of eachother
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