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New enemies worry an ancient entity. How do the Shinigami face beings as old as faith? 

Tags: Bleach, Shinigami, Roleplay, Soul Reaper, Zanpakuto 

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Han Edogawa 「Third Division Captain」 Goto Page: 1 2 [>] [»|]

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Winter Fireworks

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 22, 2013 10:07 pm


User Image

User Image
    Full Name: Han Edogawa

    Alias/Title:

    Nickname: He may be called Han-chan or simply Han, or Edo.

    Gender: Male

    Date of Birth: December 1

    Actual Age: 826 years old

    Appearance Age: 28 years old


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    Height: 6 feet 2 inches

    Weight: 66 kilograms

    Eye Color: Dark blue-violet.

    Hair Color: Black

    Nationality: Japanese

    Reiatsu Color: Gray-green


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    Occupation: Third Division Captain

    Affiliation: Gotei 13

    Former Occupation: Lieutenant of the Third Division

    Former Affiliation: None—Han has been in the Gotei 13 ever since.


    Hobbies: Han does enjoy relaxing recreational activities like reading, writing and drawing in his free time—add to this playing board games and puzzles—though suffice to say that he is not partial to light sword fights if invited. He is also wont to study geology and the rocks and minerals.

    Likes: Han always tends to like the imagery of landscapes both vast and small, as well as the minimalistic structural nature of the rocks that he study. He is also an avid fan of the prose and poetry, with him leaning on to reading novels and epics that he can get his hands on; this also brought about his liking to the impossible and the surprise. Meat and seafood are always a favorite to him, especially those of the pig and the prawn.

    Dislikes: Han...doesn't like spicy foods and warm drinks. He also disapproves of the nigh-constant warm weather and the humid air—nothing good came out of the hot and heavy air, really. Other than the aforementioned dislikes, he is impartial to anything else.


    Personality: Han always prefers to wear on him a carefree air—the relaxed and level-headed (also lazy, to those who dislike him) soul for a Captain of the Tactical Regiment of the Gotei 13. Needless to say that he is hardworking and resilient enough on official work, as the load befits him and is an amusement of sorts. He is also rather observant of his surroundings—and why not? The Captain of the Third Division always upheld the belief that anything can be used as useful information, given the right circumstances. Han is seen to be the friendly and somewhat upbeat colleague and friend, inside or outside of work.

    However, Han is somewhat quick to anger; not that he makes a fuss about it, since he tends to keep his fury to himself. He also tends to have a sick and lackadaisical humor, much to the chagrin of his subordinates. Given enough prodding, the Captain may be prone to violent outbursts...if he really could not help himself.

    Sexual Preference: Male, heterosexual


    Family: Nothing is known of Han's real family other than the name that they passed on, since he's an orphan. His stepparents are somewhat cruel in their care in the sense that they are cold to the young Han—nevertheless, they are always more than able to give whatever he needed from them.

    Background: Only a letter bearing the name of a child and his birthday were the only evidences that Han had a family, even if only for a short while. Thus, he grew up in an old and decrepit orphanage, and was taken care of by the kind elderly nuns and the resident priest who the young Han looked up to as a father. He could remember all the fellow orphans that he treated like older (or younger) brothers and sisters, and even in their poverty, they were happy and content enough not to want for more.

    Soon enough, Han was adopted by a rich couple from the far West. At the very least, they were kind enough to let him retain his name; other than that, he could say that they were cruel to a degree—the couple, after all, were masterminds of a Mafia-like family, and only set the child up as proof of their seemingly kind nature to the outsiders. Han was wealthy with the gifts that they occasionally gave him, but he was not happy. He was taught in a private school, where he aced all his lessons and graduated with more than the flying colors to his name. He was to be a fully pledged scholar, and then move on to the professional life of learning and teaching.

    Still, every happy story takes on a dark turn, and for Han, it was the rivalry between his stepparents and the head of another family that tore them apart. It was by some unspoken grace that he could not remember almost anything, save for the night that he died—the 1st of December, his 28th birthday.

    He had been born once more in Rukongai, and the Shinigami who received him back then had given the Soul a rather menial place to live in—the easternmost slums of Rukongai was then what Han came to see as a second home of sorts. Fortunately, it was either by fear or repulse that he's left alone by most of the recently and long reborn souls—he has yet to know that his body's spiritual energy is rather scary, to the point that he slows down time or slightly alters the makeup of matter around him. Han found out that he was adapted to the life of an orphan, though, and was content that he could fend for himself and the constant hunger that oddly sickened him. The same unspoken grace which made him forget most of his former life seemed to have a hand on his other one, or so by chance did Han's studious instincts found him chasing after the Shinigami Academy, and after a short while graduating from the institution with quite the high flying colors to his name.

    Due to his clean records and quite the honorable reputation in the Academy, Han found himself assigned to the strategists of the Gotei 13, the Third Division. Truth be told, the newly-instated Shinigami found his work quite...challenging—it may be due to the higher-ups' standards for someone of his calibre (which is, suffice to say, to one having some skills), it may be because he's still lacking on enough experience to handle his own, but being a Shinigami posed to Han the dare of making it to the top. So did he work, toil, and begin his ascent to the Seats of the Division.

    And he did start on communing with his Zanpakutō spirit, too.


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    Zanpakutō Name:
    Zanpakutō Type: Elemental-Type

    Sealed Zanpakutō:

    Zanpakutō Spirit:


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    Shikai Incantation:

    Release Appearance: Ryū ou Henshin no Ryōba no Ken appears as twin swords with opposing black-white and white-black theme. The edges are grooved, so that while normal swords slash, the Zanpakutō hacks.

    Description: - Ryū ou Henshin no Ryōba no Ken is utilized by altering or exploiting the existing target's original composition and sequence of events, fitting it so that Han may be given a leeway advantage in a battle.

    Note: The number of posts mentioned in the duration and cool down of any specific Shikai or Bankai ability only refers to the user's replies.

    Abilities:

    Alchemy (錬金術, Renkinjutsu) - Ryū ou Henshin no Ryōba no Ken partially alters a substance's chemical makeup to almost any other kind of matter (ie, transmute graphite to a diamond and the like). The power of Alchemy decreases with the increase of the size of a on object, with the maximum surface area that the ability can cover is 50 sq. meters. A maximum of three targets touched by Han (or his Zanpakutō; each must not reach the limit of the surface area) can be transmuted at any particular time, with exceptions to this ability being organic forms of matter, Reishi, and . Alchemy may not be used until after a cool down period of four 4 posts.

    Allegro (アレグロ, Areguro) - Ryū ou Henshin no Ryōba no Ken adjusts Han's time frame to a faster speed rate ranging from a full minute to two, allowing faster flow of movements and actions. The effects of this ability lasts to a full two 2-post period, after which will need to have a cool down of six 6 posts.



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    Bankai Name:

    Bankai Incantation:

    Release Appearance: Jikū no Ryōshu takes on the appearance of two Japanese dragons in flight. Same as the Shikai release, the dragons have the opposing black-white and white-black color theme. First. Second.

    Description: Jikū no Ryōshu's extent of power is greatly enhanced in comparison to Ryū ou Henshin no Ryōba no Ken, and the same effects observed are made more profound.

    Ability:

    Lord of Time, Red Demon Slayer (時間の主、赤い悪魔スレイヤー, Jikan no Aruji, Akai Akuma Sureiyā) - Jikū no Ryōshu's dragons rear back to the ground and then roar in unison, causing disruptions in the temporal plane. It is in actuality another massive area attack similar in range and duration to Lord of Space, Blue God Slayer, only that this skill strikes out from Han himself. The ability is often noted to temporarily send the opponents to a dazed state for a period of 1 post effective after the ability was done, after which it will need to cool down for 8 posts.

    Lord of Space, Blue God Slayer (領域の主、青い神の殺害者, Ryōiki no Aruji, Aoi Kami no Satsugai Sha) - Jikū no Ryōshu launches a massive area attack, damaging anything within a sphere of radius 150 meters away coming from the target itself. One of the Bankai's dragons charges and releases a harmless ball of light, "thrown" to the other dragon. The second dragon then "bats" this ball to the true target, then dividing into smaller balls that will explode in a burst of high energies upon hitting a solid or liquid object; however, it is worth noting that after the limiting range of the attack, the balls will disintegrate and thus do no harm. Lord of Space lasts for a duration of 1 post, and will then cool for 8 posts.



User Image
    Hadō:

    4. Byakurai (白雷, Pale Lightning)
    28. Gaki Rekkō (牙気裂光, Raging Light Fang)
    54. Haien (廃炎, Abolishing Flame)
    58. Tenran (闐嵐, Orchid Sky)
    63. Raikōhō (雷吼炮, Thunder Roar Sear)
    73. Soren Sōkatsui (双漣蒼火墜,. Twin Lotus Blue Fire, Crash Down)
    87. Hyōga Seiran (氷河晴嵐, Glacier Vapor Storm)
    90. Kurohitsugi (黒棺, Black Coffin)
    91. Senjū Kōten Taihō (千手皎天汰炮, Thousand-Hand Bright Heaven Culling-Sear)

    Bakudō:

    8. Seki (斥, Repulse)
    8. Geki (撃, Strike)
    12. Hakufuku (白伏, White Crawl)
    15. Inemuri (威眠, Forced Slumber)
    21. Sekienton (赤煙遁, Red Smoke Escape)
    46. Tanma Otoshi (タンマ落とし, Time-Out Drop)
    58. Kukushitsuijaku (摑趾追雀, Summoning of the Tracking Sparrows)
    62. Hyapporankan (百歩欄干, Hundred Steps Fence)
    63. Sajō Sabaku (鎖条鎖縛, Locking Bondage Stripes)
    87. Shōkan (償還, Redemption)
    87. Tsumi (罪, Sin)
    89. Tengoku no Mon (天国の門, Heavenly Gate)
    99. Kin (禁, Seal)
    99. Bankin (卍禁, Great Seal)

    Other:

    Han has also shown to be rather adept at the art of close to mid-range combat, proven that he can be challenging in hand-to-hand and even being at a disadvantage over a handed opponent (that is, the opponent holding a weapon and Han with none). Despite all these skills, however, he prefers to settle matters in a diplomatic way.


AN: Edited—mostly some grammatical errors and further clarifications. biggrin
PostPosted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 6:17 pm


UlricRivers

Firstly, all of your abilities need cool down times. Without them, your profile will not be approved.

Create/Destroy needs a range, a lasting time, and minimum and maximum size of the prison. The amount of time it lasts should be in posts. As it stands now, it's a tad too strong.

Replay is simply overpowered. It needs to be changed in its entirety.

Much like replay, the ability listed in your zanpakuto's description is simply overpowered. Additionally, the Description is there not for passive abilities, but rather things such as the zanpakuto's primary function as well as other notes of information about the weapon, rather than a slot for extra abilities. The same applies to your description for your Bankai.

Normally, I would make an individual comment on each of your Bankai abilities, but they're all simply overpowered. Consequently, you're going to have to redo your whole Bankai.

iChan-Chan
Captain

Tricky Informer


Winter Fireworks

Jolly Hoarder

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 10:32 pm


iChan-Chan


Alright, edited and done. ^^;
PostPosted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 8:41 pm


UlricRivers

From what I see, while there have been some word changes, neither cool downs, nor any of the previously listed issues have been addressed.

iChan-Chan
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Winter Fireworks

Jolly Hoarder

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 8:45 pm


iChan-Chan


Hm...I'm quite sure I placed the cool downs and whatnot. Nevertheless, I'll still see what needs to be done. c:

EDIT: I'll do a partial remake (abilities and stuff) of the Zanpakuto. biggrin
PostPosted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 9:49 pm


UlricRivers

Shikai is fairly fine, however, I just request that rather than being able to transmute something that's roughly 700 feet away from him, he has to be physically touching the object.

As for Bankai, the ability is overpowered. Let's take a scenario and exclude their zanpakuto, save for the original copy's own. The foe goes from fighting one Captain level opponent to five. Now then, give them their zanpakuto, while four couldn't exactly do much (lowering the capacity of their zanpakuto to 20%), three of them (that is, 3/4) would allow each one to summon yet another clone. This goes from a fight of five Captains to nine. If he only summoned two? Well each one would be able to summon another 2, and those two would have their zanpakuto cut into a quarter, which would allow them each to summon another. This goes from one foe, to three foes, to five foes (and upon summoning yet another clone, back to nine). In other words, it's going to need some mroe editing.

iChan-Chan
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 25, 2013 12:36 am


iChan-Chan


orz I forgot to edit that in the Bankai, sorry. D: But uh, only the "real" Han (the one in the present timeline) could do the summoning, see. So in effect, there would only be technically five of "them" at any given time.

Okay, I'll edit them all in. c: Thanks for the notice.
PostPosted: Fri Oct 25, 2013 9:22 pm


UlricRivers

Hmm I still have a problem with Parallel Timelines. Even limited down to basic Shikai abilities, Five Captain level opponents is still simply too much.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 25, 2013 9:33 pm


iChan-Chan


Hm...how about having a total of three of them? Maybe I'd increase the percentage to 25, too. Would that be okay with you? biggrin
PostPosted: Fri Oct 25, 2013 10:08 pm


UlricRivers

Not really. The reason is actually fairly simple, and this is a common problem, and there was also a recent example in this guild. There was an ability that summoned upwards of twenty Lieutenant level opponents. Granted, they were limited to basic fist fighting, but think of how quickly your odds jumped in that fight, especially if you were already outmatched.

Now then, in a Captain level fight, adding in four other Captain level opponents is one thing, in numbers and power, you are technically outmatched. However, add in the fact that any number of these individual's possess abilities of Shikai (and in the case of the original, Bankai). It's hardly a fair fight for everyone (even if it only created one other clone). The problem is the combination of power and multiplication

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 25, 2013 10:53 pm


iChan-Chan


I see.

I think I'll see if another remake of the Bankai will be passable. XD
PostPosted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 4:34 pm


UlricRivers

You are lacking a range on both skills.

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 4:45 pm


iChan-Chan


Noted and added. c: Am I still amiss with anything?
PostPosted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 4:47 pm


UlricRivers
iChan-Chan


Noted and added. c: Am I still amiss with anything?

Yes you are. The description for both Shikai and Bankai are still extra powers that directly influence the battle, namely with the space-time manipulation and distortion caused by the zanpakuto.

iChan-Chan
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