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So my boyfriend and I have been living together for quite a while. We talked on and off about getting a cat.

In late September, we finally found a feline friend who seemed compatible with us. We adopted her, named her Lilim, and she has become a happy part of our little "family."

This morning's events, however, have left me feeling like I am solely responsible for the cat on my own. Let me give you all a run down of why I feel this way. Lilim decided to get on the bed this morning for the first time in a while. I had already gotten up to feed her prior to this, and due to some events last night, I ended up falling asleep around 3am, when I intended to go to bed around 10.

My boyfriend is the kind of person who can't sleep if he is woken up multiple times. The last week has been very bad on me sleep wise. I've been trying my hardest to sleep decent hours. But my boyfriend likes to stay up until 3-5am, and sleep until around 12-1pm. With it being such a small apartment, the lights bother me, him not being in bed makes it hard for me to sleep sometimes, and if I close the door, Lilim scratches at it until it is open. As you can imagine, these things make it very hard for me to get into a decent schedule. Just the other morning I woke up around 8am and that only gave me 3 hours of sleep.

This morning, my boyfriend complains to me that I should have gotten up with her when I fed her. Saying that since she's come into the room/on the bed multiple times, he might not be able to go to sleep. He complained that she wanted me to get up from the start and since I didn't, it interrupted his sleep schedule.

When we got Lilim, it was understood that there were things I would do. I'm the only one who wakes up early to feed her. I am also the only one who cleans her litter box. I buy her toys, change out her water daily, and play with her. My boyfriend will play with her to an extent. However, if she starts attacking his feet, he pleads at me to distract her with her toys.

I honestly feel like I have a child. I can't sleep. I feel alone in taking care of her. I've told him that she won't have a normal schedule if we don't. It's not like I don't want to take care of her. But I also have no idea how to approach my partner on the inconsistencies. I want him to take initiative and do things for her too. I don't want to be the only one doing literally everything for our cat. He told me he wanted a cat, so in actuality, it wasn't just my decision to adopt her.

Does anyone else have problems with this? How do you approach a subject like this without it ending up in an argument? I feel like if I were to ask him to try and adjust his schedule, it would sound controlling. I also feel as though asking him to "step up" would somehow come across wrong. I feel at a loss. neutral

Oh god. I know how you feel. D: The cats are my deal 100%. To get my fiance to do ANYTHING is like pulling teeth.

We already had Freyja and then we got Mister. Its not easy to get him to contribute ANYTHING.

But have a talk with him telling him that shes as much his cat and that he should help. I dont sleep well either but my fiance sleeps like a rock. So Im usually the one up to feed them.