The camera fades-in to show the swagtastic Cartwright standing backstage and looking fly. The crowd boos him loudly as he prepares to speak. They are all blatantly jealous that they do not look as fly as Cartwright does.
Cartwright: "'Sup derpers. Y'all need to stop photobombing me when I'm dipping in 'n' outta parties and taking selfies of myself with my mains innit? You fails keep away from me 'rite? I ain't got time for you noobs and haters. Haters gonna hate. Whatever. Y'all can hate all you want, but you can't do nothing about me. Y'all just mad 'cause I'm most wanted like Osama. Y'all jealous of my swag and style, styll. I be rustling your Jimmies just by stating the truth. None of y'all even lift, I can tell. I be an A-Lister while y'all think you are big men on campus when you're nothing."
Crowd: "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"
Cartwright: "You guys need to moss and chill, 'K? 'Cuz I have something real important to tell and show y'all right?! Y'all are gonna love this shizz let me tell you bluds. When I won the WWE:E Asylum Championship from that boring p***k Salem what's-his-face, I was ecstatic yo. But then I realized something. That title be as boring as the guy who held it. So I blinged it up good and proper. Y'all are gonna love this. I have been working on this masterpiece for weeks and it don't come cheap either."
Cartwright lifts a black bag off the floor that was lying next to him. He opens it up to reveal the new WWE:E Asylum Championship. He shows it to the camera, holding it up to the camera with both hands and looking so proud of himself. The tile has a gold chain border around it, diamonds are scattered around it and the center of the title has no mention of it being the Asylum Championship. Instead it has the word "OBEY" engraved on to it in big red letters. The crowd boos the change, hating what Cartwright has done to it.
Cartwright: "It's beautiful now. It's amazing. It's got style. It's got class. It's so full of swag. You flops that be booing right now be cray. Cray and mad jelly of my sexy new bling. I'm gonna be ******** all your bitches thanks to this new bling and there ain't nothing that y'all can do about it 'cause y'all don't lift enough to stop me. Nobody does. I'm gonna be the champion of swag forever so y'all better get used to seeing me with my blinging new bling. Bless-up derps."
Cartwright places the belt around his neck and fastens it so that he is wearing it like a necklace as the camera fades-out. He looks chuffed with himself.
Cartwright: "'Sup derpers. Y'all need to stop photobombing me when I'm dipping in 'n' outta parties and taking selfies of myself with my mains innit? You fails keep away from me 'rite? I ain't got time for you noobs and haters. Haters gonna hate. Whatever. Y'all can hate all you want, but you can't do nothing about me. Y'all just mad 'cause I'm most wanted like Osama. Y'all jealous of my swag and style, styll. I be rustling your Jimmies just by stating the truth. None of y'all even lift, I can tell. I be an A-Lister while y'all think you are big men on campus when you're nothing."
Crowd: "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"
Cartwright: "You guys need to moss and chill, 'K? 'Cuz I have something real important to tell and show y'all right?! Y'all are gonna love this shizz let me tell you bluds. When I won the WWE:E Asylum Championship from that boring p***k Salem what's-his-face, I was ecstatic yo. But then I realized something. That title be as boring as the guy who held it. So I blinged it up good and proper. Y'all are gonna love this. I have been working on this masterpiece for weeks and it don't come cheap either."
Cartwright lifts a black bag off the floor that was lying next to him. He opens it up to reveal the new WWE:E Asylum Championship. He shows it to the camera, holding it up to the camera with both hands and looking so proud of himself. The tile has a gold chain border around it, diamonds are scattered around it and the center of the title has no mention of it being the Asylum Championship. Instead it has the word "OBEY" engraved on to it in big red letters. The crowd boos the change, hating what Cartwright has done to it.
Cartwright: "It's beautiful now. It's amazing. It's got style. It's got class. It's so full of swag. You flops that be booing right now be cray. Cray and mad jelly of my sexy new bling. I'm gonna be ******** all your bitches thanks to this new bling and there ain't nothing that y'all can do about it 'cause y'all don't lift enough to stop me. Nobody does. I'm gonna be the champion of swag forever so y'all better get used to seeing me with my blinging new bling. Bless-up derps."
Cartwright places the belt around his neck and fastens it so that he is wearing it like a necklace as the camera fades-out. He looks chuffed with himself.
