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 Posted: Sat Oct 05, 2013 5:59 pm
The apartment was a complete mess. The couch was flipped over with a chair over top of it, Pascal's workbench was on the floor with a half built robot making spasmodic motions that got it nowhere, the TV was covered in Zia's clothes, the floor was hidden underneath the contents of the nearby closest and the kitchen seemed to have taken over the doorway with cutlery spilled all over the floor. There was a dog somewhere in this mess. Probably. Maybe. There was a distinct whine coming from somewhere but Pascal's senses didn't bother to sort out where it was coming from. Maybe Harley didn't understand why he always got in trouble for messing up the apartment but Pascal was allowed to!
Yeah, it was Pascal who did this. Given it was his apartment, it seemed a little unusual but Pascal's senses were lost to him the moment he seen his girlfriend's cheating a** on the back of a hog with some man. As if his life couldn't have gotten any worse, all of a sudden all the crap he'd been holding back seemed to fall right onto his head. His blood boiled. He didn't need an explanation. He knew that the motorcycle wasn't the only thing she'd been riding tonight. He just knew it.
How could that b***h do this to him? Pascal went home and emptied a bottle of liquor into his system and basically one thing led to another and that's how the state of the apartment came to be. However, even after all of that Zia still hadn't arrived home. There was no way this man had just been giving her a ride home and it became more and more likely that a ride was exactly what happened. Was it simply just the fact that Zia was on a bike with another man or was there something else? There was definitely something else and it pissed him off.
It pissed him off enough that on top of the apartment's mess there was now a hole in the wall too. However, the time it took Zia to get home gave Pascal a little time to sober up although it didn't help his anger any. Sitting on the end of the tipped over couch, Pascal looked up with his amber eyes to the door as it opened and without giving her a chance to even say hello the words slipped right out of his mouth.
"Where the ******** have you been?"
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Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 4:59 am
It had been an emotionally exhaustive night already and although it didn't end in horrible tragedy or anything, Zia's temples were throbbing and her entire core felt used up and tired.
Her face still hadn't fully recovered from bawling her eyes out earlier, and the frantic worry she had worked up in herself was dulled thanks to the numbness that eventually came with her fatigue. She was so numb, and so hollow, and so ready for bed.
And then she opened the door.
Already feeling gutted and tired, she was slow to react. Cutlery on the floor, followed by a full view of their vandalized apartment was the first thing her mind managed to process, and his angry greeting worked it's way in second and her stomach dropped. Something bad had happened here, was what she finally realized after being so slow.
"W-what?" She managed out, quiet and obviously tired. She looked over the landscape a bi more quickly and her brain short circuited trying to think of an explanation. Logic pointed to a burglary or something and it seemed to wake her up a bit, eyes wide and movements seeming to fight with how tired she was to seem frantic.
"What? What happened? Are you okay?" Her voice gained a little volume. "Oh, god, did you call the cops?"
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Posted: Fri Oct 11, 2013 7:36 am
The words escaped his lips without a second thought and while he didn't regret them his heart sank seeing Zia after all this time alone to fester on what he'd seen. How could she do that to him? His eyes fell on her windswept hair first and his anger boiled under the surface bitterly. He knew how her hair got that way, ******** whore, and his shifted uneasily as his eyes fell over her body.
"No, I am not okay," he said, looking from her to the floor before darting back to her. She had completely avoided his question. He didn't think that maybe she was simply concerned given the condition of their apartment and instead jumped straight to her denying what happened. "Don't you think it is a little dramatic for me to call the cops because my girlfriend is a cheating whore?"
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Posted: Fri Oct 11, 2013 7:57 am
It took a beat for Zia to fully realize what he was getting at. At first all she got out of it was that he wasn't okay and something was wrong, but eventually it hit her.
This was an accusation.
"...Excuse me?" She almost snarled lowly. Her tear stained face hardened. Fighting instincts kicked in and overrode the fatigue. "You did this? ********, you psycho, I thought someone broke in! I was worried about you! You got a lot of balls calling me names right now."
Was this a tantrum? She was still reeling in disbelief he had actually torn up the place on a suspicion.
"I was out with a friend, that's nothing new. Where the ******** did you get the idea I'd cheat on you?" She spat. The hint of alcohol in the air went unnoticed thanks to the smell of whiskey on her own breath. "Or did you just decide to be a creepy a*****e tonight?"
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Posted: Fri Oct 11, 2013 8:40 am
It was a little more than an accusation when he's pretty much trashed the place in the process. As far as he was concerned now, she was a cheating whore and he seen it with his very eyes. The fact she had the balls to call him a creepy a*****e made him chuckle as he leaned the side of his face into the palm of his hand.
"Why so offended, Zeeeeeeee? Do you have something to hide? I suppose you would, cheating whores always do. I guess that's what you do when you go out in the middle of the night, huh? Did you think I'd never find out? I seen you with him. I bet that motorcycle wasn't the only thing you were riding tonight, now was it?"
Accusation after accusation, why not tie all paranoia into one?
"Was he the reason you didn't come home for days or is he just one of the men you have on the side?"
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Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2013 3:58 pm
Motorcycle at least clued her in to something that triggered this behavior, so it wasn't random, but that was still less than comforting to think he saw her with Realgar that night.
Her eyes narrowed. "Have you been following me?!" Her voice broke into almost a screech.
Though she wasn't worried about being caught cheating, since she wasn't, her concern was more in the realm that he had been following her, and she had been powering up more.
But then again, if he really knew something he might've opened with the shapeshifter bit and not with the out with other men thing.
"He's just a friend, dumbass, we didn't do anything. It's not news I have male friends," She snapped, but she was trying to inject some logic into this situation. "You think I would cheat on you? You've seen where I come from, you've met my parents! I would never do that!"
But he had to bring up her running away and resentment just bubbled over. That was old news, he wasn't allowed to bring it up again, in her mind. "Yeah, it was a real party," She scoffed. "And then I decided to just drench myself and the Impala with blood for funsies."
She looked around the mess, taking careful note of it's contents and shook her head. "I almost lost a friend, I needed to sort some s**t out. And gee, who wouldn't feel safe in this s**t hole?" She said sarcastically and rolled the handle of one of the pieces of cutlery that had been dumped near the door with her foot.
"I am allowed to have friends outside of you, you arrogant p***k."
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Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2013 5:15 pm
Amber eyes stared at Zia as if simply looking away would send her back to the arms of this other man.
"Should I be?" He snapped back, feeling more riled up than before as he got up off his position on the knocked over sofa. Simply yelling at her from there wasn't cutting it anymore and he got up close enough that he could grab her shoulders desperately. He felt like she was slipping away, disappearing into the distance. He felt like she was getting so far away and that if he didn't get grab her soon he'd never see her again. However, his feeling conflicted with themselves and he felt more anger than sorrow over what he felt like she had done.
"Just a friend my a**! Cheating is in your blood. Your father can barely keep a woman long enough to get married before he gets bored and finds himself something new to play with! That's what's happening here, isn't it Zee? He's not just a friend, is he Zee? How come I've never met him, or heard of him before? You're hiding him from me! Don't lie to me you disloyal little cheating whore."
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Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2013 5:32 pm
He might've moved closer because he felt like she was slipping away, but Zia took his suddenly proximity as an intimidation tactic, and she ramped up her defenses in response.
Her body language was obviously expecting something, and she took a jerking step back towards the door.
Everything was turned on it's head. The world outside used to be bleak and horrifying with no hope and just death and tragedy. She used to love shutting it out and hiding here, pretending that stupid war didn't exist and fooling around and nerding out and basically shunning the outside.
Now the outside was at her back and it didn't seem so bad, but here? This place was trashed and reeking of hatred and discontent and liquor. Realgar offered her a win earlier. Coming directly from there to here wasn't going well.
"How ******** dare you," Her voice cracked again, but this time in desperate hoarseness. "I haven't been with anyone but you for over a year, stop calling me that... that."
Zia had grown up in a whorephobic and slut shame heavy environment. Whore was a label she had been paranoid of her entire life and now he was just slinging it around for no reason.
But she was hiding things from him, he had an unfortunate point even if he was making mistaken assumptions. She nervously scratched at the brand on her chest as she mulled over some way to explain.
"I don't know his real name, he's a terrorist," She mumbled. "I wasn't doing anything with him, he wanted-- he wanted to discuss something. It wouldn't make sense to you."
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Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2013 5:48 pm
Zia retreated and Pascal found himself stopping in his tracks. So now she was scorning his touch? She would wrap her hands around this man's waist and probably everything else but she moved away from him? Logic was not his friend right now and his face twisted unhappily as her voice shrilled in the air with her objection to her new petname.
Guilty women always denied their guilt. Of course, innocent women also did. How could you possibly tell them apart?
"It sure didn't look like that tonight," he spat out, crossing his arms defensively. "What could he possibly want to discuss with you? And how could you possibly speak with your mouth otherwise engaged?"
He didn't look like a senshi so this man she had been with was either a knight or a Negaverse officer and neither of the options pleased him. All this said to him was that she would deny his affection as Orpheus but go off gallivanting with this other man. What a ******** whore! He wasn't good enough for her as Pascal Lalande or even Orpheus?
He shook with anger, and definitely some betrayal as his eyes held back the emotion attempting to break though. You meant so much to him, why did you do this to him?
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Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2013 9:57 pm
On some level, Zia was toying with the notion of giving in. Apologizing profusely to end this horribleness and coddle him and comfort him and promise to never leave the house again.
But he just kept twisting old knives and all this old and stale resentment was getting dusted off and dragged back up to the surface.
His shot about where her mouth had been was the tipping point that turned the sympathy right off, and in that, was some clarity. He was not a baby, she was not there to coddle him. They were supposed to be partners and not fighting over who was whose pet and who got to call the other names today.
The fact she'd just come from sharing a moment with a friend, an actual friend who treated her like a human being.
I'm taking a chance on you, man.
She said that to Realgar with such fluid ease. She'd said that to other people in the past, but looking around and up and down, and looking Pascal in the eye with a long, hard look, she questioned herself. Was she willing to bet on this? Was this worth saving?
She gave up a lot for this relationship. She limited contact with male friends on his request, resigned herself to a home and standard of living she felt was below her, accepted his debts, accepted his quirks. She felt he should be on his knees begging for forgiveness for even questioning her at this point.
But had she done that because she was willing to bet something on this relationship? Was there something worth salvaging? Had there ever been? It seemed like the only time they were ever happy together was when she was depressed and on a losing streak out in the real world. The bigger her wins and self worth rose out there, the more things rotted and went to hell in here.
She stared at him in silence as she thought all this over, but her mire of thoughts came to a stop when she felt something wet on her fingers. Her nervous tic of scratching at her brand when she was feeling particularly angry at herself had managed to break the skin. Almost dazed she pulled her hand away and looked at her fingers, and the violent, angry mess she had made of the flesh just below her collarbone.
"I-..." She exhaled and took another, tired glance around their trashed apartment, and back to Pascal, shaking her head. "I love you, but I can't do this. You're not good for me, and apparently I'm not good for you either."
She turned on her heel and opened the door again to leave. "I'll send someone to get my things in the morning."
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Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2013 10:17 pm
She saved him the trouble of telling her to get the ******** out and not come back and that was probably for the best. Could he have really said it? How was he going to live a life without Zia? As he watched her leave, he felt his throat tighten and his air supply weaken as he began to hyperventilate. He was pissed off and terrified and miserable all at the same time.
He wanted to call out to her.
He wanted to chase after her.
He wanted to apologize and say he was wrong but he wasn't.
He wanted it to work but it wouldn't.
He knew it now. He would never be enough for her. She said she loved him but he didn't feel it. He didn't see it. All there was left was emptiness as her words about everything being fine and her being happy seemed to slip away to an unreachable place. Things would never be fine. How could they ever be fine? He was living a lie and it was killing him.
She was killing him. How could he never be enough? Was it money? He was pretty sure his a** looked better than most faces so it couldn't have been that. He would always be street trash to her, wouldn't he? Something she dressed up and bought. They were never actually equals. There was never a partnership. He was just her play toy and he was finally all used up.
He wanted there to be a happy ending but he knew there was no salvation for him and there never was.
Instead he stood there with his fists clenched as she left his sight, his teeth biting down on his lip as he held back his emotion. He wouldn't give her the satisfaction, he couldn't give her the satisfaction. Unfortunately for him, he didn't always get what he wanted. He didn't get Zia's love and loyalties and he didn't get to stop the tears as they broke the gates.
It was over.
Picking up one of Zia's shirts from off the television, Pascal slumped into the bedroom and disappeared.
Zee... Why'd you go and break what was already broken?
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