My church strives and works hard to ensure all of us are on the pathway that God has planned for us. My older sister had brought me to church when I was 20. My job was dead-end and I was experiencing problems with family and friends. I lost my Uncle, whom was the only person that really listened to what I had to say. My friends had backed off and spread rumors about me. My family ignores me and only acknowledged me when I was doing something they didn't approve of or stupid.
I was a mess. I had fallen into a downhill spiral that lead me to Depression and Anxiety. Something I'm still struggling with today.
How am I still here? I asked myself one day. I was confused. I felt like there was a voice in my head saying, "Because you belong here. Trust me."
As a person who was surrounded by atheists, I felt like it was a small piece of my imagination. But then my sister mentioned that she was attending a church nearby. She didn't even think about inviting me because our other sister was on her mind. I told her I wanted to get closer to her and that I'd join her on Saturday evenings. I had no idea what I was walking into that week.
Saturday came and I found myself at her church. I felt a little uneasy and a bit anxious because I arrived before my sister. A woman with the best smile I had ever scene came around the front desk just to talk to me. She introduced herself and noticed that I was knew to the church. Instantly I calmed down and was able to relax a bit. My sister showed up a few minutes after and we sat down...for the last time. I swear, I did not expect to be standing for a half and hour singing worship but I was like, whatever. But what really got me was the message. That I didn't have to live my life without a purpose, without love and within fear of myself.
I gathered up courage and lifted my hand when the preacher asked if there was anyone that wanted to ask the Lord into your heart tonight. Now that alone took a lot of courage, but when he asked me to stand up in front of the whole church to pray about I was scared beyond belief. I still did that, obviously, but it was extremely mortifying. Especially since my hair was all messed up from worship jumping.
Together we asked the Lord into my life. The whole church chimed in. I was welcomed, noticed, acknowledged. I felt really happy.
Although I still battle sometimes with depression. Life isn't so bad. Because I know now that there are people that will stand with me and help me to battle it. I know that Jesus is there with me and I know that I'm not going to let the enemy win. Jesus is funny in the way he acts. But I know it will always be for the better.
Nothing will be crystal clear, but that is how we learn?
We need to "trust in the Lord, with all [our] hearts. And lean not on [our] own understanding" Proverbs 3:5
I was a mess. I had fallen into a downhill spiral that lead me to Depression and Anxiety. Something I'm still struggling with today.
How am I still here? I asked myself one day. I was confused. I felt like there was a voice in my head saying, "Because you belong here. Trust me."
As a person who was surrounded by atheists, I felt like it was a small piece of my imagination. But then my sister mentioned that she was attending a church nearby. She didn't even think about inviting me because our other sister was on her mind. I told her I wanted to get closer to her and that I'd join her on Saturday evenings. I had no idea what I was walking into that week.
Saturday came and I found myself at her church. I felt a little uneasy and a bit anxious because I arrived before my sister. A woman with the best smile I had ever scene came around the front desk just to talk to me. She introduced herself and noticed that I was knew to the church. Instantly I calmed down and was able to relax a bit. My sister showed up a few minutes after and we sat down...for the last time. I swear, I did not expect to be standing for a half and hour singing worship but I was like, whatever. But what really got me was the message. That I didn't have to live my life without a purpose, without love and within fear of myself.
I gathered up courage and lifted my hand when the preacher asked if there was anyone that wanted to ask the Lord into your heart tonight. Now that alone took a lot of courage, but when he asked me to stand up in front of the whole church to pray about I was scared beyond belief. I still did that, obviously, but it was extremely mortifying. Especially since my hair was all messed up from worship jumping.
Together we asked the Lord into my life. The whole church chimed in. I was welcomed, noticed, acknowledged. I felt really happy.
Although I still battle sometimes with depression. Life isn't so bad. Because I know now that there are people that will stand with me and help me to battle it. I know that Jesus is there with me and I know that I'm not going to let the enemy win. Jesus is funny in the way he acts. But I know it will always be for the better.
Nothing will be crystal clear, but that is how we learn?
We need to "trust in the Lord, with all [our] hearts. And lean not on [our] own understanding" Proverbs 3:5
