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 Posted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 4:53 pm
▼▲▼▲ 0. INDEX.I. A merciful icicle.
II. A clear plague.
III. A dim-witted keeper.
IV. Prospective ideas.
V. Vague information.
▼▲▼▲ 0. SUMMARY.The icicle
A dull icicle is used as a weapon in a mercy killing.
Hershel
A calm and painfully logical plague who doesn't do much.
Baron
A gigantic and dumb hunter who leads a boring life.
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Posted: Mon Sep 23, 2013 5:25 pm
▼▲▼▲ I. A MERCIFUL ICICLE.
 The icicles wreathing
On trees in festoon
Swing, swayed to our breathing:
They’re made of the moon.
She’s a pale, waxen taper;
And these seem to drip
Transparent as paper
From the flame of her tip.
Molten, smoking a little,
Into crystal they pass;
Falling, freezing, to brittle
And delicate glass.
Each a sharp-pointed flower,
Each a brief stalactite
Which hangs for an hour
In the blue cave of night.
"Silver Filigree" by Elinor WylieItem history:
Icicles lead a relatively peaceful life, wouldn't you agree? Their birth, like the rest of their lives, is monotonous and calm. They are born from the slow dripping of water and their trade consists of nothing but growing larger and larger as days go by. Some might say icicles are works of art, sculptures of ice created by mother nature herself; others assure icicles are work of the devil himself, spikes of ice that bring death and bad news wherever they are. Icicles are, however, but a piece of ice hanging upside down, merely waiting for their ultimate fall.
These spikes of ice aren't much of a gossip subject in Shyregoed: everyone has one or two hanging just outside their homes and even trees get to have their own— In fact, icicles are not a matter to talk about at all around Shyregoed- or anywhere else, for that matter. They're all the same, they're all boring and they're basically everywhere.
This icicle in particular was as dull as any other chunk of ice. You could actually say it was the dullest. It was pristine from the forest's flawless water, glittery from the rays of light that caressed it and gelid from the winter that had just hit Stillcrest. Yep, just like any other piece of ice. That's why when Baron kneeled just under it, he chose to stare at the agonizing deer before him instead.
He was a full-grown stag. His eyelashes were dark and long, his eyes were deep and innocent, his pelt sparkled with the morning dew and his body trembled as a result of terrible fear. He must have been the strongest stag the forest had seen in a long time, yet now he was lying defenseless and broken under the shade of death. His eyes met those of the human that had just come to him, yet he refused to move: he would die right there, either by the hand of man or the pain of sickness.
The giant had come from far away, called by something much more powerful than the moans of a distressed animal: curiosity. Such was his hurry to see what was happening to the poor beast that he went empty-handed and alone. He had also come mentally unprepared, apparently, since the sight of such a magnificent animal crying out loud struck his heart like a punch to the stomach. At first, he did not dare to come closer to the victim that would, in another situation, stealthily run away from his predating weapon, yet now he was standing just over the animal, visually inspecting his sides, looking for the tracks of a hunter or a bear.
He found none.
The deer blinked slowly, cried heavily and took a deep breath. Peace seemed far, yet his agony was infinite and his sadness endless. The old man's chest was filled with a terrible feeling known as anxiety, and for once in his life he patted a deer that wasn't lifeless and empty. "Shh, lit-tle on-e. 'S gon- be al-right...
He stood up and reached for the icicle right at the end of the branch above his head; the ice dagger shone bright in his hand. He kneeled next to the creature just as it looked at him with a certain innocence that the human purposely confused with thankfulness, and patted him once more. He covered the stag's eyes slowly with one hand, then smashed the other right into the animal's right ear.
The ice dug deeply into its head, striking his brain and releasing him from all mundane worries.
Baron took the corpse back home, as it was expected from anyone who would somewhat appreciate free meat, and put it on the butchering table.
He noticed, as soon as he began cutting, the dark spots in its flesh and skin. Only then did he realize what a terrible mistake he had comitted in bringing the body back home.
By the next morning, the bonfire had stopped.
Between the stag's ashes, a peculiar item shone bright: an intact bloody icicle.
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Posted: Mon Sep 23, 2013 5:27 pm
▼▲▼▲ II. A CLEAR PLAGUE.Name:
Gender:
Item:
Personality:
As a putesco.
Long story short, the icicle does not do much. It is covered by a gross and sickly mixture of blood and a strange black liquid. Baron has tried to clean the un-melting item more than once, yet the gross juice always manages to come back.
If put on a flat surface, the icicle will occasionally roll-- this usually happens once a day. The old man is unable to find a reason behind these sudden movements, but he believes it to be the blood flowing under the icicle.
It possesses a strange feeling of calmness. Whenever Flanagan holds this peculiar item, he is filled with easiness and peace of mind.
As an excito.
A permanent smile is drawn on her little face, a symbol of gentleness, purity and liberation. Ever since she was born, Hershel felt immense peace inside of her: she believes she has the power of liberating people from their pain, both physically and mentally. This feeling gives her a main objective in life. She thinks she has to change the world, bringing peace by releasing humans of their pain and sorrow.
Hershel doesn't move much. She loves being carried around and will avoid walking by herself if possible; Her body is somewhat crude and much slower and heavier than she would like. In fact, Hershel is much heavier and colder than the average plague.
She doesn't talk much either. She prefers to observe rather than participate in mundane interactions, and will often try to escape being center of attention.
If it weren't for her occasional movements and lovely sighs, she would appear to be a doll instead of a plague. The fact that she neither moves or talks often makes it hard to notice her, specially when she has found a cozy little place to stay in. She likes it that way: the ability to not be there while actually being there makes her notice things she would otherwise not.
This little plague seems to be the owner of some kind of unworldly wisdom. Behind her tranquil lips lie words of unbelievable truth and logic. The conclusions and solutions she comes up with are not the result of divine illumination, however: she just has a spectacularly clear mind.
Although this power could help those around her greatly, she believes it would do little more apart from confusing and hurting them (she thinks those around her are peculiarly ignorant). whenever she's forced to critique something, she'll change the subject, "run out of time", pass the buck or simply ramble.
Even if she thinks the humanity is somewhat benighted, she tries her hardest not to look down on people; in her eyes, they're not stupid, just innocent. Rare are the times at which she's condescending. If she acts rude towards someone, it's probably because that someone just crossed her line.
This small child hardly ever loses control: she is incredibly calm and self-conscious. She will stay serene even under the most stressful of situations and will always try to expand her motionless aura to those around her. However, this piece of ice does not take it easy to hot environments. If she finds herself near a hot place or object, she will immediately become distressed and demand to be put in some other place at once.
On the other hand, Hershel loves cold environments: her favorite places are by the shade of trees and dark little corners. If the place is wet, all the better. She is prone to cover herself in snow in warmer days of the year and will try to escape any ray of sun. Other things she enjoys include pieces of ice, furs, sticks and the winter's gelid and abrasive rain.
While she doesn't experiment with feelings often, the emotions she tends to notice are more on the blue side of the spectrum: melancholy, sadness and loneliness are the main ones. She rarely ever feels more passionate things such as anger or ecstasy, probably because she is, indeed, ice.
Hershel finds joy in observing birds and people. She thinks they're all too similar with their chattering and their groups. She sometimes wishes she was able to get on tree branches just to see how it feels, not exactly remembering anything about the experience from when she was still a young icicle.
Deep inside of her lays a strange feeling of guilt: the icicle believes she has done something she was not meant to, though she doesn't know what it was-- and she is afraid of finding out. She tries to make up for this feeling by helping around and trying to be as kind as she can. While she's insecure about leaving her comfort zone in order to help others, she believes this risk is necessary if she truly wants to make up for whatever it is that she did. She sometimes gets conflicted and torn between her quiet nature and her attentive desires.
As an excito, she tries to help around by giving food to those starving, lending her ears, redirecting gifts and being kind.
As an anhelo.
As she begins experiencing more independence, Hershel would travel around Panymium as frequently as possible. She would try to bring Baron along on her journeys, mostly because she wouldn't dare leaving him alone and feels like he could use the excitement.
She would find herself at ease with the fact that her body is no longer as uncomfortable. Although she still moves relatively slowly, she would appreciate the fact that she can now run and jump freely. Whereas she'd be able to withstand warmer temperatures, she would still seek refuge in cold and humid places.
She'd be particularly interested in learning how to read and write and would spend most of her time looking for someone to learn from. She believes these talents are the door that'll help her reach the ears of those capable of changing the way the world functions. By convincing powerful people of her cause, she thinks, she would manage to make that one big impact she wishes for.
Thoughts:
✦ Thoughts on the disease:
Hershel has conflicted feelings about the disease. On one side, she believes it might be a merciful weapon (just as she is): she has heard there is a lot of poverty and destruction in the world-- maybe the Black Death has come to release humans from their torment. On the other hand, she is scared about it taking the lives of those she cares about.
✦ Thoughts on other plagues:
She believes they're all strange and misunderstood creatures. She's unsure about their purpose in the world, though she's inclined to think that they've come to make a change. She wishes they were treated more kindly.
✦ Thoughts on servos/locos:
Hershel is a little bit jealous of them, to say the least. She's convinced their body must be much more comfortable than hers. She affirms they're the prettiest sort of plagues with their cute eyes and their light skin.
✦ Thoughts on phasmas/neutral:
Curiosity is the one thing she feels about her own kind. She divagates often about why their bodies are so very different, yet she's never found an actual answer.
✦ Thoughts on caedos/infitialis:
Hershel hasn't had the opportunity to meet many of these fellas, although she feels like she can relate to them: they were all born to kill (or at least that's what she has heard).
✦ Thoughts on humans:
She is curious about them. She thinks of Baron (the human she knows the most) as an alienated entity, so she prefers not to base her knowledge of the human race on him.
She is somewhat scared of them because of all the terrible things she has heard, but she hopes not everyone is as vile as they say.
✦ Thoughts on Baron:
Harshel mostly sees Baron as a big brother, rather than a father or a companion. She is worried about his troublesome innocence and the superficial life he's lived through and wants to get him back on the road she considers correct. Although his overprotective nature annoys her sometimes, she tries to see the world through his eyes; he has never had an intimate relationship with anyone other than her, after all. She tries really hard to serve as a guiding light for him and often finds herself telling him what to do next. She enjoys sitting on his shoulder for the view is majestic.
✦ Thoughts on the House:
While the Fellowship is her home, a part of her wishes to be in the House: she likes the way Obscuvians treat her kind. While she doesn't believe plagues are "holy creatures", she feels like the House agrees with her own objective in life. She has heard that the House puts emphasis on charity, which has really picked her interest and has made her even more nosy about what exactly they preach.
✦ Thoughts on the Council:
She thinks of them as a sort of "private club". She has neutral feelings about the scientists and their methods for now.
✦ Thoughts on the Fellowship:
She does not feel too comfortable in the Fellowship. She feels as if she was a mere tool working for her right to survive. If she had to choose, she would abandon the mages. There is, however, one thing that has made her ponder about the Fellowship: the Grand Magus and her loyal plague. She admires the way the mystical leader has fought for the plagues and hopes that the two of them will somehow change how plagues are treated. If they were to succeed, Hershel would probably stay in the Fellowship (the main excuse being Baron's religiosity, though).
Concept ideas:
/This is pretty boring so anyone might want to ignore this/
Since quietus are very similar to their item, I tried to base her personality as much as possible on all the things she is: water (peacefulness, purity), ice (coldness, honesty, perhaps even lazyness), a pointy object (harshness), a weapon used in a mercy killing (she feels like she can save people).
I imagine her having a sturdy, harsh and cold body, which would definitely be very uncomfortable for moving around. Baron wouldn't like carrying her around without putting gloves on first.
Hershel means "deer". I believe Baron would choose this name for her as she reminds him more of the stag he killed than an icicle. As the old man did not have much contact with women, he would choose a boy's name (perhaps it was a nephew or friend's name).
I think of her as dull yet very delicate at the same time: ice comes as boring at first, but if you look closely you'll notice all the little details it's composed of.
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Posted: Mon Sep 23, 2013 5:28 pm
▼▲▼▲ III. A DIM-WITTED KEEPER.Character name:
Age:
Gender:
Birthday:
Occupation:
Prospective faction:
The fellowship of the mages.
Region:
Appearance:
Baron is definitely not your dream man. Standing 6'6 feet tall, he comes as menacing and crude. His robust body is of no help either--when covered in the much needed thick layers of clothes, it just makes him look bigger. A large beard hangs from his chin and it is apparent that he doesn't brush it often; the same thing can be said about his hair-- or rather, the shocks of hair that stick out from under the dirty cloak he hardly ever takes off.
Wet dog, dirt and ashes: this penetrating odor follows Baron wherever he goes. Legend says this ugly old bear was born with the stink, yet he is convinced it is a direct result of that time Adler and Gald threw him into the river. Needless to say, this heavenly gift of his has both gestated and murdered the interest of many: the "what is this putrid smell?" is soon replaced by a "why won't this stench go away?". If it weren't because of the good reputation Gabriel gave him and his meats, he's sure his trades would be much less productive than they are, as all merchants would run away from him almost immediately. His brothers don't mind his stench anymore.
Time has made its way through the giant's face: Over the years, his skin adopted a sad, pale look, particularly around the eyes. Whenever a smile escapes him, profound wrinkles appear on the sides of his face. The freckles he used to house over his nose when he was young have now moved towards his cheeks. His eyes, however, stay as lively as ever, always full of a peculiarly generous glitter.
One of the most interesting things about Baron, however, are his hands: he was born with his mother's kind and delicate caress and his father's brute strength. A good amount of bruises have been painted on his knuckles by the north's hard lifestyle, yet his hairy fingers have an (almost) perfect complexity.
In short words, Baron is considered a ferocious herculean with a cold heart and a hard mind, yet he sees this shell as a result of decades of hard work and masses of cold and hard meat.
Personality:
Baron is a man of few words; this is not because he doesn't have anything to say, but rather because he can't say it. He began stuttering since the age of 7 and hasn't stopped ever since. The usual mocking of his childhood friends and brothers made him realize that it was better to say nothing than to stutter it out. Nowadays, and after much practice, Baron doesn't mind replying with grunting sounds or with grimaces; after all, those who know him don't mind, and those who don't are not courageous enough to complain about it.
He is, despite his enormous and ferocious look, a very kind and noble man. He comes as easygoing and affable, however, he is also ridiculously innocent. Many say he is almost like a child in the body of a fully grown man. He likes believing that he did indeed ended up staying an infant-- it would explain his dim mind and weak soul.
If you ever find yourself needing a mindless servant, this is your man. Baron is incredibly gullible and will believe almost anything he is told. He's been persuaded into doing nasty things more than once in his life, yet he has been lucky enough not to get involved in the consequences of his actions-- for now. While many mistake his innocence with loyalty (and even though he is loyal), this an erratic conclusion: this bear is just blind to anything that's not directly in front of him.
Bishop and Lord are the only ones he considers his companions. The children of Stillcrest believe they're quite possibly the fluffiest pups ever, Baron thinks they're the nastiest. They manage to make a mess of the house almost as well as they manage to make a mess of the deer. While at times these hunter dogs can come in handy when Baron is out working, the only reason he really keeps them is to get some warmth and company at night.
Terribly insecure and owner of a terribly low self-esteem. That is how Baron would define himself (if he knew those words, of course). His stuttering was both the cause and the consequence of these characteristics. This particular heaviness in his heart made him begin questioning not only every single little thing he said, but also every single thing he did, until he came to the conclusion that he was not worth much more than others.
Baron believes everyone around him is just better than him. He surrenders to others easily and will always do what he is told, whether he likes it or not. He thinks of himself as a sort of dumb butler who has to follow directions just because others know better than him. A disastrous number of years serving as the guardian of a merchant caravan taught him to live with these ideas.
There are only a handful of places at which Baron will disinhibit: parties and alehouses. Baron tends to enter the last as sober as a judge and leave as happy as a lark. While this stutterer does not have the privilege of getting drunk often, he is a real treat to be around when he does: he will dance, tell stories and even sing if he's bashed enough.
Wine is for this giant, on that matter, one of the few real pleasures in life, yet the few coins he wins from trading do not invite him to taverns. Other things he loves include pumpkins, apples and the peculiar chattering of Cardinals.
This gentle giant is Panymesian by birth. While Abbatha did not teach him to count and read, she sure taught him to follow the holy book and pray. Religion and spirituality are one of his priorities: he prays each night, goes to church every three days, confesses often (although boorishly) and devotes his work to the only entity he is not completely terrified of. As a young man, Baron found a haven in religion: if the Lord loved all of his children, then surely he'd love him too-- even if he was menacing and a stutterer.
History:
Abbatha had always wanted a girl: she would be as small as a rabbit, as pretty as a flower and as clever as an owl. Her name would be Abbey, and she would be her beloved little child. However, when the time came, what Abbatha got was a boy as big as a bear, as ugly as a rock and as dumb as a worm. She called him Baron, and he still ended up being her beloved little child.
Adler, Claud, Emery and Gald were enchanted by their new brother, who (according to their mother) was at least twice as big as any of them when they were born and thrice as stupid. Sadly, their love for him did not come from the newborn's individuality, but from his mere arrival. Truth was they had all pleaded the skies for something a little more memorable than just another boy with the same old curvy nose: now they were stuck with Baron, and as such, they gladly welcomed him into the family.
Claud and Emery were fond of their little house in the southwest of Stillcrest, whereas Adler wasn't. If you stood on your toes when looking out of the northern window, you would catch a glimpse of a gelid ocean freezing in the distance. On the other hand, if you were to stand on your toes near the southeastern window, you would catch a glimpse of a dusty old wall and, well, just a little bit of forest.
Life was not perfect at all in the cozy cabin, yet the sextet managed just fine. The two oldest brothers, Claud and Gald, would venture out to the forest twice a month in order to hunt a deer or two. The 4th brother, Adler, would then butcher and salt the treasure. The 3rd brother, Emery, would come home once a week, only after spending time with his own little family (just like Baron's father, Claus, did).
As Baron was not lucky enough to be born a girl, he began learning his brothers' trades as soon as he began to walk. He learnt the arts of painlessly killing an animal and the methodical task of cutting them into pieces, all while repeating his mother's wise words to himself, "love God above all else". As expected from a family of numerous members and a minuscule amount of money, the ugly child did not learn to read or write. The first years of his life were not too memorable, though they were indeed calm.
At the age of seven, his mother perished. Many say the cause of her death was her old age, others say she died of sickness, yet the cause of her death did not make Baron's loneliness any better. He found it hard to find a place in a home where he had none unless his mother said so; now that she wasn't there to do that, his brothers did not have any pity for him. While they tried hard to make the boy a man as soon as they humanly could, the youngest one was not able to keep up with their expectations. The fear inside the young one grew as his brothers' scoldings persisted, and soon he found himself unable to answer to their terrible complaints. This habit of his never left, unfortunately.
Five years later, Claud, the second brother, took him under his wing when Gald and Adler finally got a family of their own and moved to nearby cabins. The next seven years went by without any major events apart from Baron's abrupt arrival to puberty. He managed to outgrow Emery by ten whole centimeters and gain the force of a bull, all while starting to copy Gald's (not too) stylish beard and Claud's perfect aim with the bow and arrow.
It comes a time in every person's life, however, when suddenly a door to the outside world appears: that door came in the form of Gabriel, a merchant imported all the way from Edgecrest.
Gabriel, contrary to Baron, overflowed with charisma: everywhere he went he made friends, everywhere he looked there were riches and everything he touched was filled with luck. Although he was but five feet tall, the young man could stand out in a crowd of hundreds, raise his voice as a king did and trade water for gold. Not only did people like him, destiny did.
It was no surprise he fixated his interest on the enormous and mindless adolescent with whom he was struggling to trade some fine meats: that beast would result in a perfect guardian for the merchant caravan he had brought with him. His mere presence and his menacing looks would immediately replace the weak farmers he had dressed as soldiers and dissuade the temptations of many. He offered the hunter a fine pay and an opportunity to get closer to the one true god.
That was how Baron, ignoring Claud's good advice against the merchant, left Stillcrest with a group of people he hardly knew, a worn out axe and hopes of finding the one being that would love him.
Many years passed by, so many, in fact, that Baron forgot how to count them: he traveled across Imisus and Mishkan, met sceneries he had never dreamt before, paid for the love of many women, wore clothes strange to him, found things whose name had no meaning and found joy in just walking endless loops in the company of his solitude. The merchants did not mind his mute nature nor his brute force, they loved him for his services and the banal yet satisfying grunts with which he replied. Homesick more than once, yet he never turned around to embrace his childhood's wintery land: he had no one to go back to.
He and Gabriel built a grand relationship through the years. The merchant took care of him as a conductor would take care of a singer: he gave him a place to sleep, food, and the occasional company of a woman he did not know. Baron was comfortable with these small delights and never complained. Gabriel was happy with this, glad he had found the perfect guardian.
There was, however, one small thing Gabriel did not give Baron: God's enlightenment.
That was why one cold autumn morning, Baron woke up and realized he had left his mother's delicate rosary at home. When Gabriel and the other merchants realized, they found only the giant's footsteps.
Baron never realized how much he had missed Stillcrest until he entered the little town and found himself staring at the ocean he had grown up with. When he managed to find the cabin where he had learned to butcher animals, he found no trace of Claud. He found his brothers in their respective houses, yet now they were old and exhausted. In the little cabin where one could buy fishes at a fair price, he found a grandmother sleeping. Everything had changed, including him, and now he was lonelier than when he had left.
Baron found no reason to leave Stillcrest again. He felt comfortable in the small house he had inherited from a forgotten family, he was terrified of how things would change if he left again and he had hopes of finally starting a little life of his own.
He began hunting and butchering again. The free time he had now compensated for the time he had lost wandering aimlessly and in soon he began trading meats again.
Nowadays Baron still inhabits the small house in the southwest of Stillcrest. Although he doesn't visit his brothers often, their relationship is good and healthy. He spends most of his time hunting and occasionally goes out for a drink. While his life seems monotonous and boring, he is convinced he likes it that way.
Thoughts:✦ Thoughts on his family:
Baron really misses his mother, he prays for her often and always keeps her rosary at hand.
He has blurry memories about his father; he recalls Claud telling him that he was somewhat of a womanizer and a terrible parent.
He assumes Claud died shortly after he left; he's thought about asking Emery about it, but he's terrified the truth might hurt him. He also misses him a lot.
Gald and Emery's children are all way too arrogant for his own taste, he prefers to visit his brothers whenever the kids are not home.
Adler and him don't speak often; whenever they do, all Adler does is scold the smallest son.
✦ Thoughts on Hershel:
He likes her--- or so he thinks. He feels like he has to protect her and give her lots of love, just like his mother did with him. He's unsure about what she is, but one thing he knows or sure: she has a really kind soul.
✦ Thoughts on plagues:
In one sentence: just what are they? Baron has heard all kinds of different arguments about these strange creatures, but he doesn't have an opinion of his own yet.
When he meets Hershel, Baron starts thinking better of them.
✦ Thoughts on the Fellowship:
He's uncomfortable about it at first. He feels out of place and dumber than usual. He hates having to interact with the mages, specially when they look down on him.
He's curious about magic and how it works, though. Gabriel used to amuse him with his funny little spells, yet he hadn't thought about learning magic himself-- now the opportunity is right in front of him, so why not?
✦ Thoughts on Obscuvianism:
He's been so heavily influenced by what he's heard through his travels (they're extremists, they don't believe in the one God, etc.) that he believes they're demons.
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Posted: Mon Sep 23, 2013 5:28 pm
▼▲▼▲ IV. PROSPECTIVE IDEAS.✦ What to do with the icicle. At first, Baron would be confused as to what he should do with the plagued icicle. As he's neither an up-to-date man nor an intelligent human, he would have absolutely no idea what plaguing is or how plaguing works, all he would know about it is that the factions are looking for those enchanted little items and that he should give the icicle to them. As he is more on the Fellowship's side (because Gabriel was a mage and because he is Panymesian), he would look for the mages in order to give the icicle to them. However, he'd grow fond of the icicle over time (particularly of how it sometimes rolls around and how he seems to feel calm whenever he's around it) and would choose to keep the spike while working with the Fellowship.
✦ The icicle is alive. Hershel and Baron would have a very awkward relationship at the beginning. As he's not too talkative and has never taken care of a child before, he'd be confused about Hershel and how to treat her. She would, however, wake up a paternal feeling in him, and he'd go nuts trying to teach her the ways of life and protecting her.
Hershel, on the other hand, would not be too interested in Baron or what he does. She would focus more on trying to understand how things work. She would end up knowing less than the average plague because of how Baron is.
Over time, she would realize that her keeper is out of his comfort zone and would try to serve as a guiding light for him (mainly because she feels guilty for it). She would also, however, try to become more independent and would try to learn more about the world.
It may be possible for Hershel to take her objective of saving people the wrong way.
✦ Old acquaintances. Gabriel would definitely feel betrayed by Baron; he would, however, have the slight suspicion that Baron didn't mean him or his caravan any harm. He would worry himself sick and search for the huge man all over Panymium. I imagine him finding his guardian somewhere other than Stillcrest. The confrontation would be somewhat aggressive, but the two friends would work things out in the very end. I think Gabriel would grow jealous of Baron's plague, as he feels he'd put it to a better use (maybe he would go as far as stealing it). /I was thinking of apping Gabriel as a non-grimm later on!/
✦ In the fellowship. I believe the pair would mostly feel out of place in the beginning: whereas Hershel would disagree with the idea of being treated as a tool, Baron wouldn't love forcefully interacting with the mages. However, the old man would appreciate being surrounded with all the spirituality he's ever needed; he'd try to share this with Hershel in order to make her more comfortable. Their anxiety would eventually vanish.
While Baron wouldn't be too talented with magic, he would become interested in learning how to use it (mostly because he sees it as a method of protecting himself and Hershel). His aperture could be somehow related to his stuttering, with it being placed near his vocal chords or his brain.
I imagine him specializing either in Familiarism or offensive magic.
I believe Hershel would press him into trying to get a higher rank in the Fellowship in order to preserve their wellbeing (and maybe even gain a little reputation).
✦ Hershel is lonely. Whenever Hershel and Baron are alone, an awkward silence fills the room. Neither of them is too talented at chatting, and that shows. The old man wouldn't mind, but the little one would. Hershel would dream of finding a talkative little friend to keep her company; she would try hard to escape his keeper's overprotective hands in order to find a plague to spend her time with.
✦ Normal humans? The plague would be particularly interested in learning what humans are and what they do. She'd hide near populated places once in a while in order to observe and overhear people talking. Maybe she'd find herself in trouble in one of these occasions.
✦ Guilt The feeling of guilt would constantly be on Hershel's back. Sometimes it would grow so strong that she'd find herself unable to stop crying and apologizing. This would definitely affect her relationship with other plagues and humans.
I imagine that as an anhelo, she'd grow tired of it and would try her hardest to get rid of it by helping both people and plagues.
One day (perhaps) she'd ask Baron about it, and (perhaps) he'd illuminate her on the matter.
✦ Devious desires. Depending on how the story progresses, Hershel might consider joining the Obscuvians. She would feel uncomfortable about confessing Baron her desires, but she would eventually take the risk. Baron would definitely feel betrayed and would stop visiting her for a while. Since this decision mostly depends on her character development:
a) If she ultimately chose to leave, she would either convince or blackmail Baron into leaving with her. She just wouldn't be able to do it alone.
b) If she chose to stay, she'd try to find those mages that are on the plagues' side.
✦ ~*~Spies~*~ (Thank you Snoof for this idea sobb) There's a small chance that Hershel would join the House ~secretly~. I do think she would be capable of working as a double agent between the Fellowship and the House. The main reason for doing this would be that she doesn't want to hurt her keeper, but she feels like she doesn't belong with the mages.
✦ Magic works. Baron would be tremendously happy about getting into magic. He would feel much more intelligent and powerful than usual and that would encourage him to keep on practicing. I believe he would also feel like he's being helpful to the Fellowship, which makes him want to stay and improve his powers and relationships.
✦ What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more (Regarding Sem's question!) Baron thought, when he was young, that love would come in due time, yet now that he's a grown up man, he's lost all kinds of hope. There was a time when he tried to find a lover; not anymore. The big old bear would not believe it if a woman showed interest in him; he would probably assume he's being toyed with.
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Posted: Sun Oct 06, 2013 7:05 am
▼▲▼▲ V. VAGUE INFORMATION.✦ A blog entry with lots of icicle photos and some thoughts - here.
✦ A blog entry on the symbolism of icicles - here.
✦ A blog entry on the symbolism of water - here.
✦ A blog entry on the symbolism of deer - here.
▼▲▼▲ EXTRA. PLAYLIST.▼▲▼▲ PSSST. THANK YOU.A huge huge thank you to everyone who's helped me with this adopt, specially Anidara and Snoof!
You fellas are great with your patience and your ideas and your constructive crits yooo'
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Posted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 8:46 pm
OFFICIAL CRIT #1
Item History
This section is fine, though I am a little concerned with Baron's handling of the deer. It's not a surefire way to get infected but direct contact with diseased flesh is definitely dangerous. If this is the one time he handles it, it'll probably be fine, though that ties in with him apparently trying to clean off the icicle several times; I wouldn't recommend he do that more than once, though I know he is meant to be slow witted.
The Plague
I'm really enjoying Hershel! She exemplifies all of the icicle traits you were intending her to. There are some wording discrepancies, though, that lead to perceived contradictions; for instance, her getting "furious" if she is in a hot place when you say she is mainly relegated to cold emotions. "Furious" is an extremely passionate state of anger. Be careful of your word choice! I would say "annoyed" might be a good substitute.
Her blunt honesty is much appreciated, though this seems to be a fairly common trait among Phasmas starting with Hopkin. Hershel's type of honesty doesn't seem based on fact, though, even if she claims it to be. I think how she presents it is fine, but keep that in the back of your mind and be wary of it. Reading Hopkin's personality might help in avoiding that similarity while still retaining this trait.
I'm especially interested in this guilt she has. It's clear where it stems from in her history but I'm curious where this may take her in life! Do you have any plans for her guilt? How will it affect her interaction with other people and Plagues? Will she ever learn why she feels guilty?
Some things to think about are how she views plagues as a whole, the disease and others of her kind. Her opinion on humans, as well, would be good to know, as well as religion and the Fellowship since she will be affiliated with the faction just as Baron will.
Do you have any ideas for how she might act at Anhelo? Even if it's just some minor differences, and they may change through play, it never hurts to start brainstorming that sort of thing!
The Grimm
Oh my gosh I like Baron a lot. Uuuuugh. It's really nice to see an older Grimm and such a big beardy bear man. He is really the peak of Shyregoedian male, honestly, and that makes me so happy I just want to move to Shyregoed and die there. But anyway!
There's no real discrepancies here; he's a very straight forward dude and he's definitely built to survive in Shyregoed. I do notice that there is no information at all about his father, though. I'm very interested in where his brothers disappeared to, though Baron doesn't seem to mind overly much haha.
Gabriel's a point of interest, too; does he have plans to track Baron down? Will there be any confrontations in the future? Some things to think about!
I will say that even though I know Baron's last name s Flanagan, it confused me several times when the two were used interchangeably.
Prospective Ideas
Have you thought about what you would like Baron and Hershel to accomplish together and individually once they're in the Fellowship? I don't imagine Baron would get very far or have terribly high goals, probably just wanting to work hard, earn his keep, and take care of Hershel, but there's a prospect he probably hasn't considered; even if he's not good at it, all humans have the basic aptitude to tap into magic. Then for Hershel, what sorts of relationships do you want her to develop with other Plagues? Other humans? Nothing concrete, just things to think about and start to have the makings of a plan in order for after Hershel grows, even if it's very rough!
Overall
You're definitely on the right track!
Be sure to read through what you've written thoroughly, as there are several grammatical errors that make reading a bit clunky and sometimes confuse the intent, but on the whole you've got a good set up. Your concept has a LOT of potential!
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Posted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 12:03 pm
Official Crit #2
Mostly regarding Hershel this time!
I'd like to hear more about Hershel's goals as a scholar! It's fine if she's illiterate but what sort of things would she hope to accomplish in this role? Would she be more interested in being a Plague scholar or a scholar as recognized by the Panymese population? I know she isn't particularly fond of the mages as they are right now, but how does she feel about the current Grand Magus having a very well known Plague acting as her knight and knowing that Grand Magus Estratus is a Plague sympathizer? Would her opinion of the Fellowship change if the Grand Magus were able to assist Plague rights within the faction?
Considering her interest in Obscuvanism, do yo think this is something she would ever attempt to pursue or just a passing curiosity? It may be dangerous for her to express this interest vocally to anyone but Baron (even then it may be dangerous because Obscuvanism publicly contradicts the Panymesian religion), due to the House being a direct enemy of the Fellowship. That said, what aspects of the religion is she more interested in; the charity work, its beliefs, or its opinion of Plagues?
I'm also very curious about her opinions toward the other alignments. As a neutral Plague, how does she feel about those who are chaotically aligned (Caedos/Infitialis) or those who follow order (Servos/Locos)?
Back to her wanting to be a scholar and stuff, what do you think some of her skillsets might be? Considering she's very good at laying low and staying quiet have you thought about her potentially doing reconnaissance? She could be a ~*spy*~
Her want to help people is a very strong and driving force! Does this desire ever push past her more quiet nature? Will she ever neglect her own comfort to help someone else?
I'm still a little unsure on where Hershel and Baron stand with one another. Their relationship is a little vague from Hershel's side, while it's quite clear how Baron feels on the matter of Grimmship. If you could be a little more clear on how Hershel thinks of Baron, how she treats him, that would be fantastic.
Just a note on Baron's magic; he can do both offensive magic and Familiarism. I think these both work well for him and we can hash out specifics later. In regards to that as well, try to think of a goal Baron might develop as he stays in the Fellowship. He'll be starting from an Augur, which is the lowest rank in the faction and mostly involves physical labor while finding someone to mentor with magic. This sort of work is definitely suited to him but will he ever want to do anything more, even if it doesn't involve raising in rank? (I don't see him ranking higher than a Mage because it requires certain skills and mental faculties poor Baron doesn't have at his disposal, but that doesn't mean he can't find a niche for himself!).
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Posted: Sun Oct 20, 2013 10:11 am
For the method of stabbing the deer:
I searched about a bit and I don't believe you can stab an icicle into such a bony part. However, if you were to have Baron stab the deer through the ear or the eye, that would likely work.
Hershel:
you mention a lot about her wanting to help everyone. But how does she help everyone?
I see a lot of uncertainty in the future of Hershel, factionwise. She wants to be in both the council as a teacher and the house?
Baron:
You mention his stinkiness in the appearance section, but I'd like to know how it affects (if it does) daily life for him. Does he ever attempt to change or get rid of it? Does it make his dealers with traders less pleasant or less fruitful?
Did his brothers just move houses while he was away? At first it reads like they're dead haha.
I'd like a little clearer back story on Baron's father as well. :0
I know Baron joins the mages because they are looking for plagues, but why does he stay? What does he ultimately want from becoming a mage?
Baron is interested in finding a person to love him; how would he react if a lady (unpaid to do so) showed interest in him? Does he ever actively look for a lover beyond paid ones?
That's it! I feel like you've got some fantastically solid characters here c:
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Posted: Mon Oct 21, 2013 2:10 pm
Aah, Sem and Snoof basically got most of it down for what I was going to say!
But one thing, you mentioned Hershel sees people as ignorant, does this affect how she treats them? Is she likely to talk down to people or be condescending towards them because of this?
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Posted: Mon Oct 21, 2013 5:23 pm
Thanks a lot everyone for all of your lovely crits!
But why didn't you tell me I wrote butcherer omg
Anyway, I think I'm ready-- let's do this!
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Posted: Mon Oct 21, 2013 6:20 pm
Accepted!
You are now entering the Adoption Probationary Period. A journal will be set up for you momentarily. If you do not show reliable activity within a month's time then the Plague will be revoked. Your cert will be PM'd to you and added to your journal ASAP.
Happy playing!
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