Word count — 780
It was one of the most surreal things she’d ever done. She wasn’t even sure if she liked it or if she was supposed to be there. But it seemed to have called to her — the moon.
No, that wasn’t it… It wasn’t as if a voice called to her, and she hadn’t felt an unshakable urge to go again. Perhaps it was curiosity? Or maybe it was just her cynicism getting the better of her, and she needed a break from the world around her.
A lot had happened in the past several months. Becoming a senshi wasn’t exactly a dream come true. She remembered how it had terrified her. How the youma had attacked her without warning, and how a cat had appeared out of nowhere to give her a pen and magical words that turned her into… something special.
For the longest time she was angry at the cat for doing what it did. How dare it just awaken her and leave her on her own? Had it not been for Kallichore, who knew how long it would have taken her to learn what she’d come to realize were just the basics of being a senshi. How many senshi had come and gone without knowing what they were doing? Had this particular cat awakened more than just her? Were they as lost and confused as she had been?
And while she had never felt resentment for being a senshi after that first day, she had still harbored ill feelings towards that cat…
But what if the cat hadn’t come by? Or what had it gone to do after it left her? Cats couldn’t really do much on their own, could they? They were just as helpless as a civilian. Or almost as helpless… Apparently they had some kind of magic…
No, she no longer felt as though she had been wronged. Instead she was grateful for it showing up when it had. How much longer could she have gone on, living how she’d been living, hating herself for who she was, or rather who she’d never be…? Living off of her aunt’s kindness when her own mother could have cared less what happened to her, aside from keeping her as a ‘precious possession’?
It was her mother who had taken her and locked her up, a bird in a cage — clipped wings and shut up when she tried to sing. She’d never thought of herself as deprived or abused as a child, yet now that she looked back on it, there were things she hadn’t known about normal relationships with parents that made her realize how unhealthy the one with her own mother had been.
Her aunt had at least given her the chance to see that. Her cousin, too, despite the awkwardness they still felt around each other. Even going on vacation together for a week hadn’t closed all the gaps in the many years they’d lived apart, doing their own thing, living their own lives, despite going to the same school for a time.
For a long time she didn’t think she could forgive her cousin for never trying to be with her. Paris was loud and brash when she had an opinion to give. Paris wasn’t afraid of doing what she wanted — she was sassy and had an air of arrogance about her. She’d ignored Rhiannon in the halls of Meadowview if they happened to cross paths…
And even with Paris’s recent apology for those years where she had no one, Rhiannon didn’t realize until recently just how lonely Paris had been as well. Yes, she handled her loneliness in a different way, and her parents weren’t as possessive as her mother, but maybe if she, Rhiannon, had taken more time to talk to Paris, seek her out, not try and hide in the shadows when she didn’t feel like she could fit in and actually try to be friends with her cousin… well… maybe they wouldn’t have ended up as alone as they were.
But maybe they weren’t as alone as she thought. They had people who cared for them. Marissa, for one… and Paris had her new husband. While they weren’t exactly alike, Rhiannon felt as though she could see a little of herself in Paris, and maybe she in her.
Staring out at the Earth from atop a fallen column wasn’t the most normal way to spend an evening, but for the first time in what felt like what could have been her entire life… Vauna felt at peace. There was still hope she held for herself and for her future, as long as she kept looking forward.
