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 Posted: Tue Aug 13, 2013 3:20 pm
Deacon had been back for a couple of days now. Or had it been almost a week? He really hadn't kept a whole lot of track, what with trying to get a feel for the place again, and generally scoping out to make sure that things hadn't gotten even worse after his little unannounced vacation. Visibly, everything seemed as normal as Amityville got.
He might have been strategically avoiding one of the tasks that had originally been - and should have remained - at the top of his list.
In the past, Deacon wouldn't have given a single ******** over what anyone thought of his actions. Sometimes, he still didn't. Except for one lovely exception... Whose door he finally gathered the nerve to go to. Sure, it was literally two feet away from his own, but still. The memories of last Halloween were fresh in his mind. It took a lot of concentration for him to finally knock on the door instead of turning right back around and locking himself in his own dorm.
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Posted: Tue Aug 13, 2013 3:35 pm
"Hold on!" Riyo shouted as someone came a rappin' on her door, her voice sounding unperturbed by the sudden interruption.
She had changed.
In the past few months, Riyo had gone through so many changes. So many fruitful efforts to better herself with hopes that when she graduated, there would be something good waiting for her. Something better than the past 'just good enough' she'd learned to accept. The feline wanted to be okay. With herself and others, though certain things still haunted her.
Certain things would always haunt her.
After Halloween, she had worried over the catboil across the hall. Riyo was no stranger to trauma, after all. These things weren't easy to handle, and as she'd always told him, there was no way she could just magically whisk problems away with a puff of magic. Though, she had never expected... He would just disappear.
Whether she admitted it or not, what had happened left her with a lot of things to mull over. The problem was, the only one she could really talk to about them... Left.
Deacon had left her. He had left without so much as a word. No 'goodbye'. No 'see you in x amount of days'. No 'here's where I'm going'.
Deacon had abandoned her.
Deacon had abandoned her just like her father had.
And in an effort to cope with that, she had pushed the thoughts of him to the furthest reaches of her mind, as she did with most problems, to continue moving forward with her life.
Funny how those things have a way of rearing their head when you least expect it.
The ghoul didn't know who could be waiting for her behind the threshold. It could've been Hel with some stew to share. It could've been Xiu with tea and a new story to tell. It could've been her new neighbor Akubi come to pester the s**t out of her.
But when that door flung open, she had never expected to see Deacon.
The peaceful, content expression melted as her arm limply released the door knob, and she just stared at him. What else could she do?
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Posted: Tue Aug 13, 2013 3:52 pm
Hearing her response from the other side of the door made him feel like his heart was suddenly in his throat. The inner battle of whether he should run or stay right where he stood left him tense and frozen in place long enough for her to answer. For a long, long moment he didn't say anything. Only stared back, her expression almost to the point of being utterly terrifying to him because he had no idea what she was thinking. Was she even interested in seeing him? Was she going to slam the door in his face? He was kinda used to that. Was she about to fly into a complete rage and rip his face off? He probably couldn't blame her...
He was dressed properly again. No more attempt to cover himself as completely as he could to hide the patches of Insanity that had faded before he'd left. He wasn't slouching, his eyes didn't hold that fearful paranoia anymore. He looked well rested and well groomed again, at last.
Well, maybe he did look a little frightened, but it wasn't because of voices in his head. Hands were in his pockets, if only to keep himself from fidgeting where he stood. His amber gaze was locked on her face, a sheepish smile gradually tugging at the corners of his mouth. The silence was terrible, but perhaps not quite as terrible as his choice of words in breaking it...
"Hey, Riyo... Miss me?"
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Posted: Tue Aug 13, 2013 4:01 pm
Riyo couldn't believe it.
He had been gone all this time, through Christmastival, through Scarentines, even through the prom he'd apparently wanted to ask her to once upon a time, and all he could say was... Miss me?
The boil wasn't hurt. He wasn't disheveled or beaten. He was as healthy as a tom cat could be. At any point he could've picked up a phone to call her and tell her that he was okay. Ask her how she was.
But he hadn't.
And all he could say was 'Miss me?'
Riyo had to repeat it to herself, try to find some deeper meaning in such plain and casual words after this long, drawn out hiatus.
There were none.
No kid gloves this time, she flat out floored him where he stood, eyes suddenly a mix of pure rage and deep sadness, and yet she still couldn't find any word to acknowledge him.
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Posted: Tue Aug 13, 2013 4:20 pm
He didn't move when Riyo continued to stare at him. Inwardly he was cursing himself for saying something so stupid, because expecting her to find something like that the slightest bit funny wasn't going to work. Right?
His ears twitched when he thought she said something.
The bakeneko wasn't really sure why he was suddenly on the floor, his shoulders dully aching from crashing against his own door. He blindly fingered over his nose, drawing his hand back to see his fingertips bright red.
Well then.
Deacon looked from his fingers, back up to her. Inwardly flinching at the look in her eyes. Sorry wasn't going to cut it. Not by a long shot.
After several seconds the hallway stopped spinning, and Deacon carefully pulled himself up off the floor. Blood still seeped out of his nose where she'd hit him, and with the back of his hand he tried to wipe some of it away if only to keep from letting it drip everywhere when he stood up. He cleared his throat softly, making a face. He could taste blood, too.
Then, he took the three small steps forward to place him right back at her door. He looked her in the eye with a strange sense of calm, jaw set... And he didn't say anything.
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Posted: Tue Aug 13, 2013 4:28 pm
Riyo watched him stand. Carefully, like a predator that stalked her prey. She observed every movement of his person. It was an empty satisfaction she got from striking him down, watching him examine his precious face, but it didn't even begin to scratch the massive despair she felt just by seeing him. By breathing his scent. It didn't even touch the surface of the insecurities he'd left her with, and yet somehow continued walking in spite of.
She had been through the abandoning before, but never the return.
And the look he gave her. "How dare you." Her voice seethed with loathing as she reached out to push him back down. How could this man look her in the eyes after all this? "How dare you look at me like that!"
Did he have no sympathy?
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Posted: Tue Aug 13, 2013 5:15 pm
He staggered back a little when she pushed him. He'd expected another hit, honestly... But, he didn't approach her to close the distance again. He finally lowered his gaze, too, quite hastily when she shouted at him.
"How should I look at you?" Deacon asked, honestly. "I clearly don't know what to say... I know I ******** up."
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Posted: Tue Aug 13, 2013 5:24 pm
"You shouldn't." The words left Riyo's mouth quicker than she could really process them, her own eyes darting to the ground as his gaze finally broke.
"And just because you admitted your folly won't make a single thing better." No, she couldn't fall into this. She wouldn't let herself be miserable in front of him. Cry in front of him. She wouldn't be weak this time.
So she walked back up and shoved him again. "I was there for you." Riyo spoke through her teeth. Why was rage only hard to come by wen she needed it? "I was there for you Deacon!" The feline screamed it, and she didn't care who heard. "And you repaid me by disappearing." She choked on the last word, placing her hands over her face to regain composure.
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Posted: Tue Aug 13, 2013 5:49 pm
Her first two words stabbed more hurtfully than he wanted them to, but he knew she had more than enough reason to say them.
How had he honestly expected this reunion to go? Thinking about it now, it was foolish to think it would have been anything less than her being as upset with him as she was now.
Her movement had him looking up, eyes widening a little in anticipation of another blow. When she shoved him, he didn't move much this time, but still took a step back to give her the space that she so clearly wanted. Less than a foot and he could just go back into his own dorm. Maybe he should.
His ears drew back at her words, although not in anger. His heart ached to see her going from stern and strong to fighting back tears. It was his fault, and he'd so much rather have her hitting him than falling into the distress that she was now.
He swallowed, then tried his voice again. "No, Riyo." There was a strong urge to try and comfort her, physically, and he just started to reach out to her but just as quickly forced his arms back to his sides. "I repaid you by striking you down, when you were only trying to help me. I remember it. Vividly." It was his turn to pause, nervous, feeling an awkward tightness in his throat. Wetting his lips, he tasted the blood and could only imagine that he looked an absolute mess. That didn't matter right now, though. "I didn't deserve that from you, and you certainly didn't deserve that from me... I just... I figured going back home for a while would be better than being here."
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Posted: Tue Aug 13, 2013 6:03 pm
Riyo's mouth quivered at his words. "Stop it!" She hated this submissive attitude, especially in this situation. "You awful creature!" Her hands were shaking as she drew them away from her face. No, she wasn't crying yet.
"You and I are both aware that you couldn't control yourself, but you know what you could've controlled?" Riyo didn't even give him a second to guess. "BEING THERE FOR ME WHEN I NEEDED YOU, THAT'S WHAT." The trembling had traveled from her hands to the rest of her body. "You... You've been coherent this whole time." The feline stood tall, in spite of her legs wanting to cave in. Her face stayed straight, even though her eyes were glazed over with a thin layer of water.
"I made so many excuses for you being gone..." Riyo couldn't look at him anymore. Not if she wanted to keep her composure. "I thought that... Maybe you had hit your head somewhere in town, and were wandering around with amnesia... Or that, you had been captured by humans... Anything that would prevent you from telling me where you were and what you were doing."
She became silent for a moment. "But... You're just fine, aren't you?"
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Posted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 12:47 am
Deacon's mouth snapped shut obediently when she demanded he stop, lips parting again in a sigh when he quickly realized just how impossible it was to breathe through his bloody nostrils right now. He started to open his mouth when he thought he was supposed to answer, but no words escaped when she screamed at him. The floor suddenly seemed really interesting, as did shoving his hands back into his pockets to keep them from shaking.
"I guess I never thought it would matter so much, after what had happened." It was true, but admitting that only made him feel worse and surely would piss her off even more. "Would you believe me, if I said I was sorry I left without a word? I can't change what's already happened. I can only hope you'll let me try to make it up to you."
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Posted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 4:01 am
"No. You didn't think at all." That was the problem. He hadn't spared one thought to her well-being. "I'd... Really hoped I meant more to you than that."
That being nothing. "As scared as I was, even though I knew you'd crash and burn eventually, it felt so nice thinking that... That somebody actually needed me." But he hadn't. In the end, he really hadn't needed her at all. He just... Used her when she was most convenient and left when she wasn't.
Silent. Her form became completely silent when he started talking. There he went again, same old story. Same old 'let me make this up to you.' as if this wasn't the first rodeo they'd been through. That was enough to make her angry.
Riyo smiled the cheapest smile she could muster. "Well then Deacon, what're you waiting for? Here I am! Make it up to me. Go on. You just go ahead and undo this mess you've made right here. C'mon, clean up shop! Make me presentable again so you can use me and throw me away like a cheap whore one more time." She put her hands on her hips and gave him a cheeky look. It was all she could do to keep from breaking down. "I'm waiting!"
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Posted: Mon Aug 19, 2013 6:54 pm
Deacon didn't risk an upward glance, most likely because he didn't want to meet her gaze and possibly another fist to the nose. Not that he'd deny that she'd have full reason and right to hit him a few more times. "You did mean more to me than that... You still do, I just-"
"I still appreciate everything you did, especially after the s**t I put you through. You're the last person that would have had reason, really, yet there you were." He paused, glancing up for just a moment. Yeah, he wasn't going to mention that last event again. Surely she knew that it was what he was getting at... Everyone else rightly defended themselves against him, but she kept her word. Even when she shouldn't have.
He caught that smile, inwardly holding back the anger that tried to flare up. That fake, mocking smile that she gave him was terrible. He had to look away again, biting his tongue to keep from actually getting wrongfully offended when this was all his fault to begin with. "I can't- I can't just fix it right away."
But there were two words that snapped his attention right back to her face, and he met her gaze with more obvious confidence than he'd possessed since long before Insanity. "I've never called you something like that. Ever. I know you're pissed off, but Jack, Riyo- I'm not that much of a b*****d in your eyes, am I?"
Maybe he really didn't want her to answer that.
"If anyone has ever so much as suggested s**t like that, I can start making it up to you by sending them straight to Cricket's office." One way or another...
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Posted: Mon Aug 19, 2013 7:25 pm
Ugh. UGH. All these words! On a normal day she so enjoyed banter but... Today it just seemed pointless. Words weren't helping. They weren't helping either of them. He said he appreciated her, but where was the proof? He said she meant more to him than that, but where was the proof?
"I wasn't implying you ever called me something like that!" And while his gesture to brutalize whoever said such a thing was sweet, it was ill-timed.
"I was... Implying that you treated me like one, Deacon." Her ears drooped. "That's the problem." Her voice was growing softer. "You treat me like one. Like... I'm supposed to be satisfied when you're gone and find other ways to occupy myself until you come back and throw more emotions at me."
She turned around, feet treading back towards her dorm. "You're not the b*****d Deacon, I am, and that's where this whole problem lies."
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Posted: Sat Aug 24, 2013 11:35 pm
Deacon didn't understand. His shift in expression from anger to mild confusion surely made that obvious. Rather than object that he'd treated her in such a way, he kept that to himself... Because apparently even though he didn't treat her like a whore she still thought he did. Deacon did not follow this figurative thought process. Why did ghouls have to say such confusing things?
"I wasn't trying to..." Deacon finally started, at a loss on what else to offer in response.
He reacted quickly when she turned, rushing forward and closing the short distance between them. The tabby reached out to grasp for one of her arms, aiming to slow her and keep her from retreating behind a locked door.
"That's not true, Riyo. Just-... Don't think that of yourself."
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