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 Posted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 1:54 pm
 The sun was setting. It had been nearly an entire day since the unexpected and public invitation to certain slaves was made. Half a day since the beige lioness had made her private decision. She'd been trying to figure out how best to do this ever since and that sense of responsibility had driven her to the high class dens. This was almost as difficult as confessing her role in the pride events to Orion. Worse, because at least her mate hadn't been present. Her father, however, had. And she'd said some fairly terrible things to him, had publicly stood against him. She had to apologize. The opening of the den was the same as it had always been. Even down to the brown form of her father drowsing across the threshold. "Father."
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Posted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 1:59 pm
 Hearing his daughter's name on the list of those invited to become Royal Guards...it had struck Uchanjaa in the heart. He hadn't known whether to cry or to laugh bitterly. So he'd turned away from Shangyue and the pride, seeking comfort in the paws of his own mate, Kibetinyota.
It was just, that she should be rewarded for lending such credence to the usurper's rule! And ironic, given his own title when he'd protected said little s**t's mother. Was he bitter? Oh, just a bit.
The soft sound of paws approaching woke the brown lion from his not-quite-nap and he watched with equanimity as the daughter in question approached. She looked nervous and unsure and though his paternal instincts yelled for him to comfort and cuddle her, Uchanjaa managed to keep his face expressionless.
He didn't even respond to her voice.
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Posted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 2:02 pm
Well, he was awake. That was something. And he wasn't attacking her or telling her to leave, that was good. Not that she could really blame him that much...as jealous as she'd been of Uchanjaa's relationship with Selene, Halili couldn't deny that he'd been the best father she could ever imagine.
It just hurt, seeing him watching her with those cold eyes, refusing to even acknowledge her presence.
"Father...I wanted to apologize," she stumbled over the words. His impassive face wasn't helping matters, but damnit she was here to do the right thing! Didn't that count for something?
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Posted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 2:05 pm
Uchanjaa raised a mental eyebrow, careful to keep his physical face as still as possible. An apology, was it? And what would this daughter of his - no, this lioness - want to apologize for? For not letting him kill Shangyue? Fat chance. For publicly humiliating him? Doubtful. For publicly repudiating him as a father? Well, neither of them had actually said the words, but the implications of her opposition to him had been fairly clear from where he was standing. And he sincerely doubted she'd be apologizing for that.
Which meant she almost certainly was here to apologize for what Shangyue had asked of her. She'd joined the Royal Guard.
Not something he cared to hear.
So the brown lion slowly, silently, deliberately, turned himself around, refusing to even look at the lioness outside his den.
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Posted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 2:11 pm
More than his refusal to reply to her, this blatant refusal to even acknowledge her presence and desire to apologize hurt. It twisted her heart even more than keeping a secret from Orion had. Perhaps because she'd known her father all of her life and her mate only most. Perhaps because it was Uchanjaa who'd been there when she'd taken her first steps, encouraging and supporting her. And when she'd taken the hardest steps of all...they'd been against him. And now he wasn't talking to her. The loss of his regard was...pretty damned awful.
The lioness chewed her lower lip and considered what she could do. She had come to apologize to her father, and she couldn't leave without doing that. She didn't really want to say the words to his butt...but he wasn't leaving her much of a choice. And if she left know, she might never find the courage to do this again. Not to mention that she doubted she'd ever be forgiven if she let this go any longer than it already had.
"I'm sorry...for what I did the other night," she forced the words out past the blockage in her throat, looking at the ground. "I...I never meant to hurt you."
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Posted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 2:14 pm
The silence stretched on. Just because he wasn't looking didn't mean he wasn't listening, and Uchanjaa was waiting for his former daughter to leave so that he could be in peace. He didn't want to hear her apology.
Oh sure, she sounded sincere enough after the long pause, but she'd also sounded rather serious the other night when she'd blocked his way and taunted him with the fact that no one else had taken his side and wanted to bring down Shangyue like the murderer he was.
And now she was apologizing for that? Fat chance of forgiveness there. He almost snorted aloud, but contained the urge at the last moment. No need to respond to her at all. If he kept quiet and ignored her long enough, she'd leave eventually.
Probably had some duties to attend to as a Royal Guard.
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Posted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 2:18 pm
He wasn't saying anything, wasn't moving, wasn't giving any indication at all that he was aware of her presence. Halili swallowed the tears that were so close to surfacing in her regret and frustration. She didn't want to break down and sob - he wouldn't understand, wouldn't listen, and certainly wouldn't hold her until she stopped. And that was the worst of all. So she had to continue talking. Had to get it out else she never would.
"I didn't want to see you get hurt," the lioness tried to explain to the unyielding wall of brown fur. "If you'd succeeded...if Shangyue hadn't killed you, everyone else would have!" she told him desperately. He had to believe her, right?
She hoped he would.
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Posted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 2:22 pm
So, that was her explanation, huh? Well, it was a believable one, he had to admit that much. Unfortunately for the lioness, Uchanjaa wasn't nearly as gullible as she was assuredly hoping. He'd thought he'd known her, having seen her grow from an infant all the way to a proud lioness. But apparently all he'd known was a mask that she could don at will, that she'd never let him see past until that night.
It was very clever of her to say that she had been trying to protect him. Her logic in that respect was certainly sound and the brown lion had realized what the outcome would be even then, at least, he had once he'd had the time to think his actions through to their conclusion. Even so, he'd have been much happier if she'd not stopped him and he'd managed to succeed.
This was just some trick, some trap to try and get him to speak to her. Well, he wasn't falling for it.
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Posted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 2:26 pm
Still no response. Now Halili was beginning to get angry, which was burning off some of the sorrow and inner pain she'd been feeling from her father's total rejection. Why wouldn't he listen!? She was telling the truth! She knew Uchanjaa could be stubborn sometimes, but this was ridiculous!
"It's true! That's why I turned him down! I won't be a Royal Guard, won't do whatever he says just for...just for a bit of prestige!" the beige lioness spat the word out as if it was poisonous. Oh sure, she'd love to not have higher ranked lions looking down at her as if she was some inferior creature, but she didn't really want to be feared. She just wanted to be...herself. An average lioness, equal to any other lion in the pride.
Was that so much to ask?
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Posted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 2:30 pm
Uchanjaa nearly snorted aloud again as the lioness protested her innocence again. He hadn't believed the first time and why on earth would he believe it the second time?
Then she said something that truly surprised him. She...wasn't going to be a Royal Guard? She'd refused? Oh, the brown lion supposed that she could be lying to him again...but something like this would come to light very quickly if she had. So she had no good reason to lie about turning down the new rank.
But if she was telling the truth about that...what else was she telling the truth about?
He sighed. Perhaps, on that basis, he should give the girl another chance. One last one. Uchanjaa craned his neck around to focus one pale lavender eye on the lioness. He'd see how she responded before judging.
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Posted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 2:37 pm
Soft, subtle noises alerted Halili to look back up in time to see her father shift position just enough to look at her again. Her heart leapt within her chest at the sight. True, he wasn't facing her, but he was at least acknowledging that he was listening! That was the most positive reinforcement she'd had all evening and she meant to take advantage of it.
"It's true," she repeated herself. "I'm going to refuse the rank because I have no interest in being his bully boy. I don't want to be asked to do something that goes against my morals and ethics - the ones you taught me! - just because the Great Lion doesn't watch over me." Halili watched her father closely, hoping to see something encouraging in his demeanor.
"Yes...I want to be acknowledged as a person like everyone else and not some...second-class citizen...but I won't do it through the fear of others," she declared proudly. "I know, I may have reveled in that a little bit the other night, and that was wrong, but it was the first time I'd ever been in that position..."
She trailed off, cheeks flushed. That wasn't what she'd come here to tell Uchanjaa and he probably wouldn't appreciate it. She had to stick to the subject at hand.
"Anyway...I'm sorry. I just didn't want them to kill you. I never meant to save Shangyue and I certainly don't want to support him in his rule. But...if you died...Father...Daddy..." the tears that she'd managed to block out were seeping through now and Halili wordlessly begged the older lion to forgive her, to comfort her, to tell her everything was going to be all right, the way he'd done in the past.
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Posted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 2:44 pm
Uchanjaa listened, trying to remain as impassive and unemotional as he possibly could. He did want to wrap himself around his daughter and take care of her as if she were still a cub. But he couldn't and he wouldn't. Halili was an adult, fully capable of making her own decisions and she had to live with the ones she'd made.
That being said...did he believe her now? Everything she had said was internally consistent and did make complete sense. However, despite the fact that she had apologized and provided a plausible excuse for her behavior and was standing before him weeping...he didn't know that he could forgive her. He knew that as a father it fell to him to be more mature and to be the bigger lion and take that step, but he wasn't entirely certain that these tears weren't just another mask to make him pity her.
He couldn't be sure.
Uchanjaa sighed again and hauled himself to his feet, turning to face the younger lion once more.
"It relieves me to hear that you will remain an ordinary slave," he said at last. "However I am not yet certain I can believe the rest of what you say." The brown lion held up a forepaw to prevent the lioness' automatic protestations. "I have not yet determined that you are lying, but I cannot blindly trust what you say." Unspoken was the subtext "not anymore".
"Go," he ordered. "I will think on what you've told me." Before she could reply, he entered the den, ending the conversation before it could truly begin.
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Posted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 2:47 pm
Hope rose in Halili as her father finally got to his feet and faced her again. But it fell again as he did not forgive her and even accused her of lying. That hurt. A lot. But she couldn't say she didn't deserve it. She knew that her seeming betrayal must have hurt her father every bit as much.
And when he told her to go...well, she didn't have much choice in the matter. True, she could stand outside the den for hours, but she knew Uchanjaa could and would wait her out. Sighing, the lioness turned to go.
"Goodbye Father," she called the words out softly over her shoulder. Halili hesitated a few moments, but there was no response from inside the den. She sighed again and left. Hopefully Orion would be able to reassure her.
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