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 Posted: Sun Aug 04, 2013 9:40 am
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Posted: Thu Aug 08, 2013 1:18 pm
((It's gonna hurt to be broke!)) The crowd chats away during a toilet break between matches on the show. It's been a great show so far, we just got to see Fandango in a match! He had an amazing entrance, full of dancing and people 'Fandangoing' as the WWE calls it, which totally killed it by the way. Fandangoing, it must have took those amazing creative minds at WWE HQ months to come up with such a creative name for something that the fans created themselves! Mrs. Fandango also needs to stop posting Instagram photos of herself in toilets, it's very silly. Anyway, the crowd is chatting to each other as I wrote earlier because it is true when suddenly the lights go out, shocking everyone and causing many fans to faint in shock at the sight of nothingness.
A drum roll is heard as a spotlight pans across on to the entrance to the arena as if something amazing is about to happen. The drum roll stops. The spotlight goes out. More nothingness. It's like looking into the heart of Vince McMahon. Suddenly, the arena lights come on and there, standing in the ring because the spotlight was a swerve, is Cartwright! The crowd goes into a frenzy of cheers for him, like absolutely bananas. Women are orgasmic about this and the men have jizzed their pants. All the kids are buying Cartwright merchandise instantly. It's quite a sight.
Cartwright looks very happy with the reaction, mostly because of the pound signs that have appeared in his eyes from all the kids buying his crap. Cartwright is wearing an amazingly sparkly golden robe that covers his entire body, leaving only his face uncovered. He looks around at the fans all over the arena who are jumping up and down, giddy with excitement as if Jesus was in the ring right now. Well Cartwright has news for them, he's bigger than Jesus! He's the WWFG King of the Canvas Winner! That makes him God around here! He is given a microphone by the ring announcer as the crowd starts chanting his name.
Crowd: "CARTWRIGHT! CARTWRIGHT! CARTWRIGHT! CARTWRIGHT! CARTWRIGHT! CARTWRIGHT!"See I told you they chanted his name. I ain't making this stuff up. It all happened. For real. Seriously.Cartwright: "Here I am! Your King of the Canvas! I've been on an amazing roll since entering the King of the Canvas tournament and it's all been thanks to you nutters around the world who have continued to support me! Thanks to you all I made it to the finals, against Draze, at WRESTLEMANIA! That's a big deal! It was one Hell of a tough match! We took each other to our limits in order to win that match, neither man wanted to quit! That's how important the King of the Canvas was to us! But thanks to a well-timed Cartwright Crush Leg Drop, I finally managed to keep him down for three seconds! Following the win, I even defeated your current Undisputed Champion Dion on the last show! I'm feeling the energy and the momentum, big things are happening right now for me here in WWFG! I'm having the time of my life! Now it's time for the moment you've all been waiting for! It's time for me to be officially crowned as YOUR King of the Canvas! Now I don't want to alarm you all but the last couple of times this happened, I went a little crazy. But this time, I promise you, I....I....I'M GONNA GO EVEN CRAZIER!!!!"
Crowd: "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"Cartwright: "Now somebody come out here and give me a crown! That's why I'm here! I've already had to wait a show longer for it as it is! What kind of unprepared company starts a royal tournament but doesn't have a crown ready for the winner?! Poor effort guys! Poor effort! I demand a crown as shiny and gold as the robe that I am wearing right now in this very ring! Only the best for me because I am your king! I worked for it and I deserve it! I...."Cartwright sighs and the crowd boos as Cartwright's most hated enemy of all time, the pet loving cameraman who tries to steal his glory, comes down to the ring with a Christmas cracker and his pet rabbit in each of his hands. Like what the hell is wrong with this guy? The arsehole. Probably trying to steal some spotlight again. The p***k. Cartwright is fumed.CM: "Don't worry my king, I have a crown ready for you! It's in this cracker! I'm just so proud of you! I remember when I gave birth to you, thinking you would spend your life cleaning toilets with your head like I did when I was a lad. But look at what you have achieved! Now you are a King! Just...words can not describe how happy I am! I remember when I was training you, teaching you the ropes, as I was also your trainer. I gave you your first magical orange and your love of my pets is what spurred you on to being the man that you are right now!"Cartwright: "LIES! ALL LIES! YOU DID NOTHING FOR ME! GET LOST! YOU'RE CRAZY!"
CM: "Oh so this is the thanks I get for all the blood, sweat and tears that I put into your tea over the years we've known each other to power you up?! You should be thanking me! Without me, you'd be nothing! You wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me! You wouldn't have won anything! In fact, I should be the King of the Canvas! I did everything for you while you sat on your arse filming the shows and talking to your pets!"
Cartwright: "******** OFF!"CM: "That's it! I have had enough of your lack of gratitude. I didn't want to do this but you leave me with no other option. It's time for me to teach you a lesson that you will never forget and that is to respect your master. Now I must KILL what I created! Fluffy, attack the ugly, crooked toothed limey b*****d! Remember I'm doing this out of love, you stupid piece of cracker white trash scum!"Crowd: "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"The cameraman throws the rabbit at Cartwright. The rabbit lands on Cartwright's face, It begins to bite away furiously at Cartwright's face as he screams in pain and falls to the mat. He puts his hands on the rabbit, trying to pull it off. Cartwright rolls around the ring with the rabbit biting away at his face as the crazy cameraman laughs maniacally at his evil plot succeeding. Cartwright gets back to his feet and punches away at the rabbit. Unfortunately this means Cartwright is also punching himself in the face. Cartwright collapses on the mat again and lies motionless on the mat. The rabbit falls off Cartwright's face as both are now knocked out. The crowd throws crap at the cameraman. The cameraman grabs his possibly dead rabbit, throws the cracker at Cartwright and then heads to the back to chant of....
Crowd: "******** OFF! ******** OFF! ******** OFF!"
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Posted: Thu Aug 08, 2013 3:38 pm
((Damn it I keep adding more to this as it looks so small on my screen! Waa! xd ))
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