:[SOLO]: When Anger Isn't Enough

[Seiana_ZI]

Aysu was ... alone.

Not that she cared.

At all.

Not one bit.

These were the kinds of delusions that kept her running as she, day by day, kept in her house by the shore with the brief dips into the Sein Lagoon--honestly, she didn't want any closer to the naiad kingdom than she had to be--feeding herself and resting herself and mostly mentally plotting the demise of a certain Seraphim--oh why would she do that? It was behind her, the whole thing was behind her, and she had left that whole thing behind her many years ago when she stormed out of their tall house during the hurricane, leaving Noel and Cinna behind her to never see them ever again. It was done. It was behind her. It was --

It was hard to say that Aysu had really moved on, and it was honestly likely that she had not quite done so. Texas had helped her patch up some of the wounds, but Aysu had gotten in the horrible habit of, day by day, ripping the bandage off and pouring some extra salt in those gashes over her heart, just in case she had forgotten what the pain felt like.

Perhaps she cared too much.

This day was really no different than any other day of the week. Aysu had left her house on the shores, for the moment, diving into the water and letting her legs reunite to their natural state. As much as she disliked other naiad, being in her water gave her time to think, although with Aysu that was never really a good thing. The more she thought, the more she thought back on everything she had lost, biting down on her lip in the water and the face of Noel flashed in front of her eyes. "Aysu!" She could have sworn she heard, eyes darting around to figure out where Noel was in this water...

Of course, all she saw was one of those annoying adolescents that liked to hang themselves around here. She hrrumphed under her breath. Why was the Lagoon a place where adolescents ran from their parents? Wasn't the lake big enough to accommodate that kind of behavior? She wondered where Cinna would run now if she was -- "Get away from here!" snapped Aysu, narrowing her eyes. "I don't want to talk."

"This is an open sea!" the younger one replied, mockingly. "Can't make me leave!"

So Aysu would leave herself.

She whipped her tail around, hoping to smack some unpleasant water in the direction of the adolescents, before swimming her way back to shore. Stupid children. She hated other children. All she could see when she looked at them was the child she doubted was still alive. How was Cinna? How did she fare? How did Noel fare? It was a question she asked herself every day, and though the immediate sharpness of the pain had dulled, the dull pangs she felt every time the unresolved questions swam back to the surface of her mind were almost worse. It was something that had no resolution and might never have any resolution, and it was the kind of thing that kept Aysu on the edge and never, ever quite settling.

When Aysu came back to the surface, she waited a moment for her tail to split as expected, a sensation she was well-used to by now unlike most of the naiad sea dwellers. She was soaking wet, but she cared little--the more wet she was, the more time she could spend away from those Guardians-forsaken waters. The only did she did was shake her hair out, much like a wet animal, before strolling her way back to her house ... and bumping her toe on something.

What was--?

A bottle. Was this some kind of message in a bottle? No, it certainly didn't look like it... It looked like some kind of draught, actually. Lifting it to her nose, she popped the cork off and took a sniff of it. Smelled rather good, too. She didn't typically trust strange potions sitting on her steps, but this smelled rather... pleasant. It had the hint of sharpness that she liked from food that had more of a kick, but most of it felt sweet, like the delicate chocolates her sister sometimes brought down here from the City. She would take it, then. It couldn't hurt to have a sip, right?

Upon looking down again, she discovered there was a shell sitting on her foot. A message? A shell implied it was from a naiad, but maybe she should take a second to not grouse about it and actually read the notice. She bent down again, lifting the shell from the sand, and squinting her eyes in an attempt to read the writing.

This might make you feel better. ~ M

Who was M?

Aysu shrugged, walking to her front door and putting her back into it to unlock it. When she stepped inside, she kicked the door closed, busy wandering to her table to sit down and drink the draught. It smelled nice, perhaps she should get some fish to go with it? Quickly, she trotted over to where she kept some of her salted fish, deciding to pick out one in particular and prepare it proper to go with the drink she had found.

When she sat herself back down with the plate of food, she decided the first thing she wanted to do was not to eat it, but to drink from the draught. Happily, she lifted the draught to her lips, before tilting her head back and letting the oddly warm liquid trickle into her throat. This was ... almost tastier than she had expected. It was enough to make her grin, even as she found she had drunk it all and there was no more left. That was delicious! Where did she get more of that? She needed to find this M person and demand another one of those bottles to get more to drink...

But for now, she would eat, mind pleasantly in another world for the moment. She could go demand more draughts later...  

[Seiana_ZI]

At some point, Aysu's entire body had decided that it didn't enjoy fun.

By the Guardians, Aysu thought that her entire body was attempting to purge itself. It was awful. Every moment she stood up, she ran to the window, or to the waters, expelling what little she had managed to eat since the last time if there was anything she had. Aysu could even not eat a thing and her body still found something to purge, something that burned her throat and made her cry almost every time it had happened. It was easy for her to tire of this kind of thing, it weakening her body significantly every time it happened. Aysu spent more time than usual in the water, though there were some uses to that...

The adolescents had certainly left her alone in the past few weeks.

Finally, she had grown tired of it, and demanded her mellon send for her sister Esmée from the City. She knew all of that ... science-y garbage, maybe she would be able to help her more than the strange brews she kept drawing out of her bag.

Aysu could not have been happier to see her when she arrived.

"Esmée! There you are! Please, this is horrible, can you help me get rid of it?"

The purple angel approached, brows lifting in curiosity as she grew closer to her sister. She paused in front of her, for a moment, looking quizzically, before she decided to make her rounds around the other woman, observing her from head to toe as if it would give her some sort of an answer. There was a moment where she noticed a slight paunch to her sister's stomach that had not been there before, but perhaps it was from malnutrition. From what Aysu's mellon had told her, it appeared as if this nausea had been happening for several weeks. Perhaps...

"If I could get a sample of this purging, perhaps I could run some tests..."

Aysu's eyes narrowed. "I am not forcing myself to purge."

"But it would help--"

"Do you wish for me to purge on you? Because I will."

It seemed that was enough to make Esmée think a little better of her request, shaking her head rapidly. "I'll pass. Fernand, keep note of what she says. Aysu, what are your symptoms? When did this start? What prompted it? Does it happen more frequently if you do one thing or another? Have you not prayed enough? I have overheard from in the City that the Guardians may make heretics pay..."

The naiad caught what her sister slipped in there and glared mildly. Did she pray enough? The nerve to ask that kind of question. It was not related to her devotion to anything, though she occasionally wondered what kind of curse had been put upon her body... "The symptoms are that it feels like my entire body is rejecting itself. No matter what I do, or say, or eat, or drink, I cannot help the fact that I need to keep dashing to the nearest latrine!" Even if that latrine was a convenient window. At least it wasn't in her abode... "It started a few weeks ago, though I can't pinpoint an exact date. It was after that wonderful night where I found that draught, though. It was sweet, with a kick of spice, and oh, I would give anything just to taste that again." Aysu paused, for a moment, before shaking her head. "Maybe not quite everything. I am tired of retasting food."

Esmée quirked a brow, turning to Fernand. "She mentioned a potion?"

The penguin nodded very slightly. "Perhaps you should inquire about the draught. It may be related."

When the angel turned back, she asked, softly, "Can you tell me more about the draught?"

Aysu looked a bit ... scared. "You don't think that was poison, do you?" After a moment, her features twisted a bit more, brows lifting and hands knotting together. "I'm going to die! Did Seraphim find me? Perhaps he decided to end me like he no doubt ended--"

Esmée smacked her on the cheek. "Get a hold of yourself missy!"

After a moment of coughs, Aysu looked a bit more sheepish. "Ah, thank you. I apologize. It came with a note, scrawled on a shell, telling me that the drink may make me feel better. It's here." Aysu retrieved the note, handing it over to her sister. "It is addressed from some woman named 'M'. I do not know her, but I was wondering if, perhaps, you did? Then I could get more of this drink..."

A note from M? Esmée had heard of a few people with M names, Magnus Vis being one of them, but she was quite certain the effects of alcohol did not last quite this long. Were there any other M's she had heard of? None within her own family, for certain, and she had not met many people with M names in her day. Of course, there was one person she knew of. It was a fairie that was absolutely adept at brewing a particular kind of potion. Her name was 'Millie'. She had dealt with Millie once, though not directly. Bneut, the man she used to be shamefully tied to, was the one who had given her a brew from Millie. And it had saddled her with a belly and three children to --

"You're pregnant."

Aysu paused, a moment, before laughing aloud. "If I was looking for absurdity I would have called in the naiad queen! I have not had a mate in many years, dear sister. There is no way in the sea I am--"

"No, you're pregnant." Esmée pressed, refusing to listen to Aysu's words. "M, I think it stands for Millie. She makes some brilliant breeding potions for those on the isle, to spark fertility. Bneut gave me one of those potions once, and it tasted like the best thing I had ever had. Unfortunately, just a small while afterwards, my body was rebelling, and when it had finally seemed to settle I gave birth to three boys ... You're pregnant. See, you even have the hints of a bit of paunch!"

"How?!" That was the only response Aysu could come up with, placing a hand over her abdomen. "You have to be kidding me, Esmée! I have no other in my life, so it is not possible any fertility could have been acted on! How could I possibly become pregnant from a draught?!"

Esmée shrugged. "I do not pretend to know, but it is fascinating. Do you mind if I stay here for now, to watch the growth? What a fascinating experiment it would be.."

"Whatever!"

Aysu didn't care at this point what her sister did. If Aysu chose to believe the words out of the scientist's mouth, she was somehow impregnated with some horrible demon seed from a potion that apparently was capable of doing that with no mate strings attached. Why did she ever drink that potion? Now she had some monster growing inside her. Was it a clone? There was no way it could be anything else, certainly! She had not done anything ... with anyone ... in years, certainly, and she was pretty certain that two females could not create such a demon seed anyway especially after so many years! None of this made sense. Perhaps she needed to go have a talk with that Millie woman and give her a piece of her mind! Implanting a potion's seed inside her! The nerve!

Of course, there was the possibility that her sister was just out of her damn mind, but something in Aysu screamed that wasn't the case. Perhaps it was literally screaming. Would the thing burst out of her stomach? At least it would end the misery--

Speaking of.

Aysu clamped a hand to her mouth, running off, leaving the scheming angel and her penguin familiar behind.  

[Seiana_ZI]

There really was no denying Esmée's prediction after a certain point. Her stomach was rather large in comparison to the typical, and her whole body was not growing alongside it. The vomiting did eventually calm a little, but even if it had, there was no mistaking what it had left in its wake, especially as Aysu began to feel movements underneath her hands when she set them on her belly. It was something the penguin was rather annoyingly fascinated by, though she didn't have the energy to tell the familiar or her sister to knock it off.

Honestly, if Aysu was in their position, she would probably be doing many of the same things that they were doing. It was a miracle baby, for certain. There was no discernable way that a naiad woman like her could become pregnant without anyone else, but that potion had certainly done something, even if Aysu wished there was some sort of undo button.

In a way, the whole situation felt wrong.

She had always wanted children with Noel, when they were together. That was their next step in life--they were going to have children and expand their family, beautiful children to raise and call their own and watch grow up much like they had watched over Cinna while she grew up. But there was no Noel there. There was no Cinna there. There wasn't even a hint of anyone else there but her sister and her familiar.

But yet, there was was, very clearly full with a child.

The adolescents that made their hangout the lagoon had noticed too. One had very cautiously approached when she was last in the waters, asking her if she was pregnant. When Aysu softly confirmed the suspicions, the questions immediately came in--Who was the father? What did she hope it was? Where was a place where they could give some gifts? Aysu snorted at all of the questions, eventually just giving them a simple response of there rather literally being no father.

That seemed to scare them enough to leave her alone.

Today, she sat herself on a chair, leaning back slightly in an attempts to get more comfortable despite her obvious belly. Esmée attended to her, coming over with a small cup of ... something she had brewed in an attempt to soothe Aysu's churning body just a little bit. Aysu had no idea what it was, but she took a sip, nodding in thanks. Of course, that wasn't enough to make her sister go away.

"So how does it feel to have a mysterious baby growing inside of you? I wonder if it's mutated..."

Aysu glared. "My child is not mutated." Not that Aysu really knew that. It was a child created without a known father... "Though I could do without it attempting to beat its way out of my abdomen. Whatever this kid is, it's got a strong, um, smack." Aysu jumped as she felt another movement within her abdomen, pressing her hand to it in an attempt to get it to stop. On the other hand, Esmée was fascinated by it, and she approached, putting her hand over the other woman's abdomen just in time for another one of the described "smacks."

"It's an energetic one for sure!" chirped Esmée, a grin forming on her face. "I can't wait to meet them! I'd love to know what has been growing inside you and what has made you like this."

In a way, Aysu was annoyed her sister was so enthusiastic. To her, it was like a new experiment, waiting for the results to show, but to Aysu, this was a violation of anything that made any kind of sense. She knew she was pregnant, but it still made no sense to her. She was repulsed by her own pregnancy, but was, at the same time, drawn to it, wanting to know too what was growing within her, wanting to know more about them, wanting to know what they were like, and how that potion had put such a wonderful miracle in her hands. At the same time... "Noel and I always wanted children," Aysu spoke, averting her eyes. "We had Cinna as ours, but we loved raising children so much we wanted more. We tried at it a few times, but there was never any success." She tapped her fingers against her stomach, jumping at another kick in her abdomen. Esmée grinned at the kick, distracted from her sister's words for the moment.

She kept talking anyways.

"I don't know where either Noel or Cinna are now, so it's just me. Me and the child that Noel and I always wanted. It's such odd timing. I don't know how this was supposed to make me feel any better..."

Esmée glanced up, with a small shrug. "They say Millie knows best when it comes to children. Perhaps, one day, you'll understand?"

That was an interesting way of thinking about it, and Aysu sat back, mulling over the words.

Perhaps Esmée was right.

One day, she'd understand. But for now, she had a child she needed to prepare for...