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 Posted: Sat Jul 20, 2013 2:56 pm
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Posted: Sat Jul 20, 2013 3:03 pm
It wasn't like Loveless to be this stressed out, but today she was feeling it.
She had told her father to meet her at her favorite overpass, as she needed to speak with him one-on-one. He of course accepted. She was sort of hoping he was busy so she could push this to another day, but for how long had she been doing that? It was now or never she supposed...
Now that life was calm again and all of her children were on their own and creating quite the destinies, she was having too many flashbacks of late that were bringing her back to her childhood. There was so much still stuck in her chest on how she treated a certain somebody.
She wondered how open her father would be to talking to her, and if he could help her put aside some of her misery that had been appearing all too quickly. Perhaps it was because she had so much time to herself, or because it was time to face facts finally-- she needed to speak with her father, and clear the air once and for all.
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Posted: Sat Jul 20, 2013 3:11 pm
From Ariston's perspective today was just another day, and a quite beautiful one at that. He had promised his daughter they could spend some time together. He just assumed they would be catching up, as he wanted to hear how his grandchildren were doing. Everyone was growing up so fast that sometimes Ariston wanted to have these moments with his daughter to 'check in'.
As he approached the area she had told him to attend, he saw his daughter walking back and forth, and looking a bit frazzled for even her.
"Are you exercising or freaking out?" He suddenly beckoned, as he made his way closer to Loveless. It really was still amazing to him how much she looked like her mother. Although, he still wasn't sure why she was so crazed at the moment. He could address that eventually. "Good to see you." He winked at her playfully.
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Posted: Sun Jul 21, 2013 11:49 am
Half of her was relieved to see her father walk up to her, while the other half wanted to dart for some reason. Loveless had always struggled with sharing her emotions, but she knew this was important for both her father and her to overcome together... even if he had no idea at all what was going on.
As a child she knew she wasn't easy at all. She knew joining stronger and real Kalona had devastated her father, especially ones he had known and hated himself. Ones that had chastised him and didn't accept him for being, him. She was a monster like them, and he still loved her somehow. Even though she rejected him completely. Yet he still went after her?
Would she do the same for her children? Yes, definitely.
"Hi, dad." She finally mustered, while taking a deep breath and feeling jealous of his cool demeanor. "Thanks for meeting me here. I hope we can walk and talk for awhile." Her mind was moving a thousand times faster then reality, and she knew she had to proceed slowly and carefully. "Good to see you." Her heart hurt a little, it was so pathetic.
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Posted: Sun Jul 21, 2013 12:43 pm
Ariston wasn't so blind that he couldn't see his daughter was hiding something. Depending on how dire the situation was he was prepared for whatever as always, this wasn't the first time Loveless had brought trouble to him. "Of course we can talk. You seem quite adamant to do so."
The whole thing was starting to concern him a little. He had arrived in good humor, but now the concerned parental face was coming out a little bit. "Did something help that I'm not aware of or something?" He flicked his ears in discomfort and stared at his daughter.
As she motioned to lead him forward, he continued to keep a close eye on her movements and body language. "You are making me a bit worried. Are all of the children all right?" He would be devastated to hear that kind of news.
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Posted: Sun Jul 21, 2013 12:57 pm
Loveless didn't mean for her father to succumb to worrying about others in the family. She would be the first to admit, it was amazing what her father had become as a grandfather and as her father figure. Had she transformed similarly thanks to him? Growing up, everyone had always told her that her father only cared about himself and would never care about her or the family. She never found that to be the case, and perhaps her father had tricked everyone at their own BS. Ariston was Ariston, and there was no explaining the strange magic that was his personality and inner being.
"Everyone is perfectly fine, I assure you. The kids all miss you a lot, and that is completely normal." She finally smiled at him in a natural and composed manner. "There is nothing wrong I promise.. I just felt the need to connect with you about a few things that have been bugging me lately."
That was putting it mildly, but it was worth calming Ariston down. She took a deep breath and continued to steer forward with him.
"I don't really know how to start this, I'll admit." she finally mentioned, while taking her gaze forward and off of him. "I felt like we needed some closure once and for all on everything. I need your help to move on. So I need to start by saying, I'm sorry..."
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Posted: Sun Jul 21, 2013 1:30 pm
Since her youth, Ariston was well aware of his daughters struggles and that her mind was always shifting and on the more anxious side. It was something he didn't particularly understand from the time he spent helping Heartless overcome her terrors, but he knew once Loveless was born she would grow up with some of the demons her own mother had. It wasn't just that their resemblance made them almost twins, but Loveless' mind was extremely active and out of control. It also didn't help that she had some of his amazing pride, so that spun his daughter in too many directions. It was not healthy for a child to manage on their own, but Loveless did and tried somehow.
So with that being the case, Ariston always tried to protect his daughter from herself. He wasn't a super hero, nor did he really help her as much as he had wished. But after Loveless' time she spent with Anevay, as a father he had put his hoof down on anyone else influencing his daughter the way they were. He felt all the Kalonas she interacted with were doing it purely for their own gain in breed, and not for the sake of Loveless and what was best from her. That was what pissed him off the most. He may not have been the best role model himself, but he knew deep down Loveless was better then their false pride in themselves, not her.
Fate would have it that Loveless' oldest acquaintance would also become the one who saved her. Ariston owed Antony so much. To this day he was always amazed at how wonderfully their lives had turned out.
So why was his daughter here today and bringing this all up again? Ariston was silent as Loveless spoke, and literally couldn't understand her I'm sorry.
"Loveless. I don't know why you are plaguing yourself with these thoughts, or why you feel the need to apologize. What is going on? And how can I help?" He stared at her more sternly now, as his concern was making him uncomfortable in remembering these memories. "We've always been ok. Why now?"
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Posted: Sun Jul 21, 2013 1:51 pm
Loveless stopped her movement and felt her dad stop besides her. She turned to face him and saw the complete concern in his eyes as he spoke. How could he not understand? She was a parent now. She was mature now. She had screwed up big time and was trying to say sorry, even if it was years late in the process. She didn't understand then and was feeling the burden now.
"All of those times you tried to save me I was the worst." she snorted gently. "I've never understood so clearly what you went through now having gone through such a normal motherhood with my children." Her voice suddenly cracked lightly, and she was mad at herself for getting so emotional. She had to pause lightly to avoid any other emotions coming out.
"We've been ok because of you, not because of me. That is why I asked you here today. I need you to understand how sorry I am for what I put you through, and I do understand you did everything you did because you are my father. But I disgraced you, and I don't know how to accept that and move on."
She turned away suddenly as to not allow any waterworks to flow. "Why did you do it all? Everyone told me you were too obsessed with yourself to care for children, so I completely blocked you out as a father. I don't understand how you've looked past those horrible things I did. I cut you out and you never did the same to me."
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Posted: Sun Jul 21, 2013 7:22 pm
Even though his daughter had moved away from him, through everything she was saying Ariston found himself following her, and putting a wing of his over her shoulder. "There there." He finally said, while leaning into her gently. He was always amazed at how easily Loveless could stand next to him, Kalona mares were gifted at being fairly large in size. "Nothing I did was as extraordinary as you think."
How could he make her understand. He never wanted or asked any sort of apology. As Loveless grew and learned from her mistakes, so did Ariston. He was right beside her through the woes and troubles they both faced. They were the dark days that brought them here and to the now. "I hope you know I accept your apology if it makes you feel better, even though I never needed one." He gently took his wing off of her to give her space again.
"The experience needed to happen for me, Loveless. I too went through the same ridicule from pure Kalonas, wondering how I could survive and fit in, my confidence and difference being chastised. But being with my friends and Heartless was how I was able to survive and find myself, and have perfect offspring. My greatest joy and pride." He nuzzled her gently.
"You needed to go through all of that as much as I... I suppose I could have stepped in and stopped it all from happening, but then what if we were here today and you were resenting me? I had to let you live and learn, you taught me so much from it. So if you say I'm sorry, I say thank you, for being so brave."
Did she even realize the sacrifices she made? Ariston had hoped she'd understand one day. "But this weight you carry, however I can help absolve it let me know, for it is meaningless."
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Posted: Sun Jul 21, 2013 7:41 pm
Loveless never knew her father had his own difficulties with their race. That was a connection she wish she had through all of the moments these thoughts plagued her. But she did understand his wisdom behind letting her learn everything she did, even if not in the best way. Allowing her space had brought her the trials and tribulations she had with Antony, and now look at her? Her life was amazing.
Loveless was grateful she was having this conversation with Ariston now, for even in her younger adult stages she wouldn't have understood any of his reasoning behind his choices. Parenthood had taught her everything, and it was so much easier to listen to her father now and know why he did what he did. "Well you certainly shouldn't be thanking me." She finally mentioned, while grinning lightly in his direction. The air was finally lighter for her. She could breathe again.
"I just don't know how to stop feeling bad about these memories, but talking today has certainly helped. I've already learned more about you that I never knew. I guess we all have our struggles and s**t that happens."
Even so, it made no sense still why Ariston was so cool and calm with everything. How could he put it all behind him so easily? "Doesn't it ever hurt to remember that one time we ran into each other...?" She had treated him like scum for being what he was, and she could never forgive herself, even if her father had already. "Its hard to remember that as me.." She had the same pains with Antony at first, but they had overcome her rash and ridiculous behavior as well.
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Posted: Sun Jul 21, 2013 7:47 pm
Ariston was trying to be better about opening up and communicating, and all of his practice certainly was helping the current situation. Thank goodness his friends had been so patient with him and allowed him the time of day. No one had prepared him for fatherhood and now grandpahood. No one had prepared him for any sort of relationship!
He was glad Loveless felt more at ease finally as well. He wanted her to feel no more pain towards the situation. Hopefully he could continue to convince her how fine everything was in due time... these things could sometimes star and sting for a bit.
When he thought everything was finally resolving itself, he sighed again at her bringing up that day. To be fair, it really was one of his worst memories. He only had a couple that he tried to ignore constantly. "Of course it hurts. I know you think I am some supersoquili being, but yes, it hurts. That's why I've moved on my dear. I have thousands of other memories of you that shove those thoughts away, so why bother reliving them."
Ariston logic was Ariston logic. Life was too short to meddle in such emotional affairs. "Even if it was you, you are you now. Myself, our friends, and your family know you. Luckily they will never have to know that, and I can keep that secret safe from them, until you want."
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Posted: Sun Jul 21, 2013 7:58 pm
She appreciated his closure. As much as Loveless wanted to continue to push the issue and Ariston's buttons, there was no more to be said about that memory as well as the others. Her father had clearly moved on, and even if her weird internal struggles would bother her sometimes, it wasn't worth it to continue to break herself, especially if her life was fabulous. Antony had always chirped the same regard to life.
While taking in a big breath and letting it out, Loveless finally said. "Ok dad." with a big nod. As complex as her father was, his emotions were quite simple. She always envied him for that, and he had warned her about the racing mind she received from her mother. But she had her dad in her as well, so perhaps the thank you and I'm sorry really was that simple in ending an era of ugliness they had put behind them.
"I don't know if any of us ever told you this, but you're a great father. I'm sure a lot of the good things in me came from you, as you did always admit that initially." He may have been obnoxious about it when they were children for their looks, but there was truth to her words. Perhaps whatever genes of her father she had in her brain had brought her into the light and into the happiness she had found.
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Posted: Sun Jul 21, 2013 8:10 pm
A couple of years ago, if Ariston could wear a medal that said he was a great father, he would have basked in as much of the glory as he did himself daily. Now though, he could graciously accept her kindness but bowing his head gently. "Thank you, Lovely." Some would think the world was ending, but Ariston liked to consider it a nice maturity he had found in his older days as a Soquili.
Perhaps he had also reached a state of being where perfection was him, and he was perfection- so the two were literally the same meaning in his mind. He didn't like to bring that up as much anymore in conversation with others, and was finding inner peace and knowing such things on his own the best way socially to handle thinking about it. Besides, if he knew it, who else needed to?
He was glad Loveless already looked so much better then when he met her here some time ago. Perhaps some weight had been lifted off her shoulders? "Just promise me you're ok now? Especially for the children's sake. We all need you strong. I may be the rock, but you're the protector and fearless leader." Seriously, she could kick his or anyone's butt any day.
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Posted: Sun Jul 21, 2013 8:37 pm
It was embarrassing for him to call her Lovely, but for him to open up and resolve a bit with her, she found it in herself to not scoff at him for his atrocious nickname... or hurt him. She'd let it slide for now.
"I'll continue to be strong, so you can continue to be pretty for us." And wise, with light humor aside. Loveless had always had respect for her father, but what was it about tonight that made him seem so different suddenly? Maybe he was a supersoquili to her?
"I think I've put you through enough, so why don't you follow me and we wrangle up as many grandchildren as I can find so you can visit for a little bit?"
She knew he would like that. He had deserved it and so much more afterall. "I'll lead the way." Loveless got her stance and wings ready and lifted herself into the air. "Follow me!" and with that, she set off.
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Posted: Sun Jul 21, 2013 8:42 pm
In Ariston's perspective the conversation could have been a lot worse, but he thought he and his daughter had handled it very well. Maturity was fitting nicely on the both of them.
He was definitely excited to hear he could bother some of his relatives for awhile. They too were growing up extremely fast, and he loved hearing what adventures and drama they had going on. Being with the young-lings also made him feel youthful.
When he watched his daughter gracefully hop into the air, he too motioned and did the same thing. "Can't wait!"
As he followed her through the air, it was an exhilarating to know they could put some past drama behind them. Even though he didn't admit it to his daughter, he completely appreciated her effort to make better something that wasn't even her fault. Communication was hard, but quite a beautiful thing.
There was only one way to live, and he would preach it from the sky to the mountaintops, no matter how bad memories or times were -- life was good, so it was time to continue on like every day was the last.
"Full speed ahead, captain."
And they were off.
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