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 Posted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 3:04 pm
Detention had been well....detention.
It hadn't been bad or good or fun or not fun.
But one thing had left her uneasy and even talking to him had been hard. It wasn't like she deserved to be heard or even waste his time with her excuses but...she had to try.
They were graduating soon and after that...
She stepped up into the reaper dorms, looking around. She still came here to visit False and Thana and Hel...It was just less than she usually had. The walk was the same, the path the same. The intention not so much. Once in front of the door, she took a breath and let it out. It was followed by a loud series of knocks on his door. In case he was playing music.
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Posted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 3:12 pm
The door swung open slowly, opened by one of his minipets--this time, though, it wasn't the little sprite that usually got the door, no, this time a tough looking wish hung from the doorhandle for a brief second before letting go and scampering over to the bed to curl up next to the punk sitting there with his guitar. Roch stared at her. "I ain't buyin," he said. "Y'can let yourself out." Then reached down, petting the wish, who was staring at Amphi blankly.
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Posted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 3:42 pm
Amphi followed the little wish in, knowing that of the occupants of the room, they'd be the most welcoming.
It was sad to be in here. Hard to be here where happy and sometimes bad but mostly happy moments were. It reminded her of why she loved it in here. He always played music. At first she thought better than to disturb the peace he had made. Her presence was going to alter...change the flow of the room.
But she needed to say what she needed to say and so...
"I am not selling anything?" She blinked, temporarily confused. "Or I don't have anything to sell at the moment? Oh well I do have some spookies and some tea?" She flushed, already being casually dismissed? That wouldn't do.
Well...Well too bad Roch.
"And I will not leave until we talk..." She lifted her chin, trying to be brave. "I owe you explanations as to why I left and until I have said it...um..." She placed herself between the door and his bed. You know...in case he wanted to leave. She was small and not strong but she could at least trip him before he got out. Unless he shadow stepped in which case she wouldn't be able to do anything.
"Do you....hate me now?" It wasn't what she meant to say right off the bat, but a question that forever nagged her.
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Posted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 5:53 pm
"That's what you're sellin' Amphi--a line an' dance, after some four months of bein' dumped, d'ya really think I care t'hear it?" Roch said coldly, his fingers still ruffling the hair under the minipet's hat. Beat had surprised him, beating up Jackdammit and taking over the room, but he couldn't say he wasn't happy about it. He had been perfectly happy hanging out with the little guy for the night-- Until now. "Y'wanna know the truth?" he said. "Yeah, I hate you. Y'did almost the exact same thing my Ma did--an' if I ain't gonna forgive her for it why in the hell should I forgive you?" His cold silver eyes stared at her. "I gave y'everything I had, y'know," he said simply. "And I hate me, too, for that."
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Posted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 6:18 pm
"I think you wouldn't hate me if you didn't care about me in some way." She looked away, clearly disturbed by the coldness. She hadn't expected to be treated warmly....but she would've taken it over the chill that his eyes produced.
"My sister was sick when I left you." She didn't look at Roch now, "And she died within me being a week there, a week of being gone from you. Three weeks after that, My sisters urged me to finish school...."
She sighed now, "Because once I have finished, I won't be able to come back. Did you want that?" She smiled sadly, "Would you've prefered that I would only come to see you once every once in awhile then? Leave you here on the land where I would return to the sea to lead my clan? At most I would see you twice or three times a year?"
"I didn't hold anything back either. I did lie to about the hunters, yes. And that will always be strife between us. I haven't earned your trust....but I have never been dishonest with how I felt about you." She lifted now to look at him, "I will not hate you for giving me something I treasure. And I won't hate myself for giving it up when it meant so much. I want you to be happy Roch. And you've demonstrated you do it well without me. Whether it's with another ghoul-" A pause, her words fumbling, "Or with your job, your friends. I wish you nothing but happiness."
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Posted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 6:37 pm
He was silent, listening for the entire speech before speaking. "So y'decided t'just make that decision for me," he said blandly. "Not askin', not givin' me a heads up, or even a face t'face explanation--y'coulda dumped me after y'got back," he said. "Told me y'got somethin' more important than me. I ain't even gonna b***h about that statement, cuz I know as well as anyone what rank I hold in this life." He shook his head. "It sounds pretty, Amphi. Hell, anythin' y'say sounds pretty, what with that voice. But it don't change the fact that y'did it the way y'did it," he said. "Did y'really think I'd be in Halloween, right here, waitin' for y'ta give me the time of day off of your work all year round?" he asked her, changing the subject slightly. "I'm a second away from bein' ready t'go full trick or treater, blue eyes--no. I ain't got the right t'call y'that anymore," he said. "Amphi." He shook his head. "I woulda tried t'figure somethin' out for when we weren't workin'--I was so stupid in love with you. But y'made a decision for both of us. Y'tossed a lot more than just makin' out down the drain, y'know."
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Posted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 7:00 pm
"Yes I did." She wouldn't deny it. There was no point in denying it at all. She hadn't asked Roch, because she had been scared and confused. Instead of going to him though, she had written him a letter. In retrospect, the arrogance she held over it...she could understand why he disliked her.
"I didn't realize that you cared about where you ranked with me, Even though I loved you so much....but you are right. I chose my family over you, I chose my clan over you." She clutched her hand tight in the dress she wore. "Wouldn't you have done the same? If you were in my position Roch, and the roles were reversed...And it was your sister or your grandpa or your dad...." She took a breath, "No...I cannot ask you that because you were not and it is an unfair question..." She had never heard her name and absolutely hated hearing it.
"How Roch..." She held up her hands, starting to feel helpless. Tears started to form at the corner as she furiously wiped them away. "How would you figure it out? You'd be doing Trick or treating things, I'd be so far deep in the ocean. And those few times we would get to see each other..." She let her hands drop, "I'd start to mourn, I'd start to pine. I'd be haunted by the months I would go without seeing you to the point that I would abandoned my family just a chance to see you. I cannot bend the rules of my clan because I am stupidly in love with a reaper, someone who lives on land. Just as you cannot tie yourself to me, one who is from the sea."
She didn't know how else to convey it, She didn't want to be hated by him. She did not want to spend those final months she had with him, being hated because she couldn't control her own fate. But he didn't feel the same, and that was her fault in the end.
"I lost a love, but do not let me lose a friend Roch." She wanted to reach out, to move close and hug him. But her hands stayed at her side, and she stayed unmoving.
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Posted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 7:11 pm
"No," he said quietly. "Y'know, y'were right," he said. "It wouldn'ta worked out in the long run--even if y'hadn't done what y'did," he told her. "You were right about not gettin' my trust back, Amphi. Y'flip flop back an' forth, ghoul. One moment y'couldn't TALK cuz of the s**t the hunters did, the next y'say y'd pick their side. Y'say y'love me one moment, an' y'leave me a note rather than try an' explain things t'me the next. You... I don't think I can trust y'enough t'try an' be friends with you," he said, his tone almost monotone. "But for the sake of your clan," he went on, "learn t'not focus on how y'FEEL at the moment an' look at the facts before y'make a decision."
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Posted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 7:25 pm
"I see..." She stiffened again, "That's a first." She chuckled almost to herself. Who knew when he would finally accept she was right about something, that it was the one thing that she didn't want to be right about.
"I suppose you will not have to worry about that will you?" Her voice matched his, a small weak monotone. "Hunters and the horseman and anything else is the least of my concern."
Her hand reached into her pocket, pulling out a pretty seashell.
"This is a gift from my clan to you, not from me to you. For taking care of me while I was here. Danny and Thana will get one too.' She set it down in front of her.
Her mind finished off this conversation by shutting down, working on autopilot. She smiled at him, and knew it graced her cheeks fakely. "You don't need to worry about my Clan Roch, or it will be handled. That is my responsibility."
She inclined her head and headed for the door. "Congratulations on graduating soon. Have a good life Roch."
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Posted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 7:29 pm
This was the part where he was supposed to apologize--to tell her he was being an a** and hardhearted, that a part of him would always care for her--
Maybe it would.
"You were my first real love, Amphi," he said. "So... thanks for the time y'gave me, I guess." He made no move to pick up the shell, said nothing about the brittle smile on her face. "You... yeah. Have a good life."
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