ToTER'S NAME: Old Batty
General information:
Batty is a doppelganger, and as such he's pretty good at disguising himself amongst humans, hiding in their midst until he sees the opportunity to wreak havoc. He knows some of Amityville's students don't have it so easy, and he has made it a mission to help those kids who were not fortunate enough to have been born awesome as they attempt to blend into the world of humans.
Whether you have expressed interest in attempting this class yourself or Batty has singled you out for whatever reason, one day a map and an electronic card key will be shoved until the door of your dorm. If you choose to follow the map, you find yourself standing in front of a featureless metal door sunk into the side of a short, rocky hill. There is a slot to the door's right which seems to be the perfect place to swipe your mysterious card. When you do, the door slides open, revealing a long staircase heading further into the hill, and a cool rush of air washes over you.
it's game time
Mechanics:
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STEP ONE: CHOOSE A COSTUME
Your first stop is Batty's Costume Warehouse. If you want to blend into human society effectively, you have to dress convincingly. Wigs, noses, face paint, uniforms, socks, underwear, earrings, toe rings, tongue rings - Batty's got 'em all.
As you enter the costume warehouse you might feel slightly uneasy, whether because it's your first time visiting the giant underground structure and you don't know what to expect, or because it's your thousandth time in here and you do. You choose a direction and start on the path to your disguise destiny.
Roll 1d100 and match your result to the guide below to see if you have successfully chosen a costume. The results of your roll may change periodically, so please check to make sure there are no differences if you haven't attempted this class in a while!
1-10: You search the warehouse for a while, finding no costumes that interest you. But suddenly... LAB COATS. EVERYWHERE. You pick one out and put it on, mostly because they are the only articles of clothing for what seems like miles. And what's that in the pocket of your new coat? A rubber scalpel and some nitrous oxide! Now we're talking! You are a (bad) plastic surgeon. PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP TWO.
11-15: You have chosen the perfect costume. It fits. You look good. Too bad about that security tag. As you reach the warehouse exit, a row of deadly lasers spark to life and burn your new clothing from your body. YOU FAIL
16-20: Left, left, left, right, left. No, you haven't found an army uniform, but you are hopelessly lost in the warehouse. Maybe if you cry, scream, or rage long enough, some of Batty's bats will come rescue you. YOU FAIL
21-30: You find a sweatervest, a pair of glasses, and a clipboard under
a pile of life-size human dolls. You are a psychiatrist! PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP TWO.
31-40: This wing of the warehouse smells faintly of hot dogs and chlorine. And look! There, on the only hanger in sight, is a tank top, short-shorts, a whistle, and a giant tube of Zinka! You're a camp counselor! PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP TWO.
41-45: The costume you chose is far too large. As you try to exit the warehouse, some of the fabric gets caught on something and begins to unravel. Your costume is ruined! Sorry about that! YOU FAIL
46-50: You have stumbled upon the rockstar section of the warehouse. The outfit you change into here not only leaves you barely dressed, but the little you are wearing is bedazzled beyond belief. PROCEED TO STEP TWO. Your costume is so awesome that you automatically pass Step Three if you make it there.
51-55: The only outfit you can find is made entirely of fruit. As you stroll toward the exit, a handful of hungry bats steal your costume piece by juicy piece. YOU FAIL
56-60: You are an archaeologist! You've got a magnifying glass, a whole bunch of those little brushes, and more khaki clothing than you know what to do with. But you want to be even more convincing. You need treasure. There's a shiny medallion sitting on a pedestal nearby, but when you pick it up, there's a rumbling and suddenly a giant stone ball is rolling toward you! Run! Get crushed! Any way you slice it, YOU FAIL
61-70: A poofy hat, an apron, a big twirly mustache... You are a sous chef! PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP TWO.
71-80: After walking for quite a while, you come to a dead end. But this is no ordinary dead end. The ground here is blanketed with a neatly trimmed carpet of grass and there are golf balls and clubs strewn around the area. There are also several fanboy/girl dolls here, as well as a polo shirt and a pair of plaid pants. You are a golf pro. PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP TWO.
81-85: You wander through an area of total darkness. Even if you can see in the dark, you find your vision impaired by some strange force. You feel many tiny pairs of hands strapping you into an outlandish outfit. When you can finally see again, you find that you have been dressed like Lady Gaga. There will be no blending for you. YOU FAIL
86-95: Your costume marks you as one who hails from a long line of asbestos abatement experts. Congratulations, you are a hazmat worker. PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP TWO.
96-100: You wander through the warehouse for a while, finding no outfit that really speaks to you. Eventually, however, you feel a wave of knowledge wash over you and you know that for the duration of this challenge, your connection with the animal world will help you along your journey. You are a zookeeper, and this costume grants you the ability to pass Step Two no matter what you roll. PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP TWO.
Your first stop is Batty's Costume Warehouse. If you want to blend into human society effectively, you have to dress convincingly. Wigs, noses, face paint, uniforms, socks, underwear, earrings, toe rings, tongue rings - Batty's got 'em all.
As you enter the costume warehouse you might feel slightly uneasy, whether because it's your first time visiting the giant underground structure and you don't know what to expect, or because it's your thousandth time in here and you do. You choose a direction and start on the path to your disguise destiny.
Roll 1d100 and match your result to the guide below to see if you have successfully chosen a costume. The results of your roll may change periodically, so please check to make sure there are no differences if you haven't attempted this class in a while!
1-10: You search the warehouse for a while, finding no costumes that interest you. But suddenly... LAB COATS. EVERYWHERE. You pick one out and put it on, mostly because they are the only articles of clothing for what seems like miles. And what's that in the pocket of your new coat? A rubber scalpel and some nitrous oxide! Now we're talking! You are a (bad) plastic surgeon. PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP TWO.
11-15: You have chosen the perfect costume. It fits. You look good. Too bad about that security tag. As you reach the warehouse exit, a row of deadly lasers spark to life and burn your new clothing from your body. YOU FAIL
16-20: Left, left, left, right, left. No, you haven't found an army uniform, but you are hopelessly lost in the warehouse. Maybe if you cry, scream, or rage long enough, some of Batty's bats will come rescue you. YOU FAIL
21-30: You find a sweatervest, a pair of glasses, and a clipboard under
a pile of life-size human dolls. You are a psychiatrist! PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP TWO.
31-40: This wing of the warehouse smells faintly of hot dogs and chlorine. And look! There, on the only hanger in sight, is a tank top, short-shorts, a whistle, and a giant tube of Zinka! You're a camp counselor! PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP TWO.
41-45: The costume you chose is far too large. As you try to exit the warehouse, some of the fabric gets caught on something and begins to unravel. Your costume is ruined! Sorry about that! YOU FAIL
46-50: You have stumbled upon the rockstar section of the warehouse. The outfit you change into here not only leaves you barely dressed, but the little you are wearing is bedazzled beyond belief. PROCEED TO STEP TWO. Your costume is so awesome that you automatically pass Step Three if you make it there.
51-55: The only outfit you can find is made entirely of fruit. As you stroll toward the exit, a handful of hungry bats steal your costume piece by juicy piece. YOU FAIL
56-60: You are an archaeologist! You've got a magnifying glass, a whole bunch of those little brushes, and more khaki clothing than you know what to do with. But you want to be even more convincing. You need treasure. There's a shiny medallion sitting on a pedestal nearby, but when you pick it up, there's a rumbling and suddenly a giant stone ball is rolling toward you! Run! Get crushed! Any way you slice it, YOU FAIL
61-70: A poofy hat, an apron, a big twirly mustache... You are a sous chef! PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP TWO.
71-80: After walking for quite a while, you come to a dead end. But this is no ordinary dead end. The ground here is blanketed with a neatly trimmed carpet of grass and there are golf balls and clubs strewn around the area. There are also several fanboy/girl dolls here, as well as a polo shirt and a pair of plaid pants. You are a golf pro. PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP TWO.
81-85: You wander through an area of total darkness. Even if you can see in the dark, you find your vision impaired by some strange force. You feel many tiny pairs of hands strapping you into an outlandish outfit. When you can finally see again, you find that you have been dressed like Lady Gaga. There will be no blending for you. YOU FAIL
86-95: Your costume marks you as one who hails from a long line of asbestos abatement experts. Congratulations, you are a hazmat worker. PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP TWO.
96-100: You wander through the warehouse for a while, finding no outfit that really speaks to you. Eventually, however, you feel a wave of knowledge wash over you and you know that for the duration of this challenge, your connection with the animal world will help you along your journey. You are a zookeeper, and this costume grants you the ability to pass Step Two no matter what you roll. PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP TWO.
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STEP TWO: CHOOSE A PET
Humans love animals. There's no easier way to blend into the human world than to take your pet sloth out for a jog after work.
Once you have changed into your new outfit and nothing seems to have gone wrong, you are free to continue into the "kennel" where toy versions of some of the human race's favorite pets are available for your use.
Roll 1d10 to choose a pet. These results may change periodically as well.
1: You picked a dog. Some form of collie, it seems. PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP THREE.
2: You have chosen a manx cat. PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP THREE.
3: Your elephant doll is too heavy to carry. Too bad, so sad. YOU FAIL
4: A flamingo! How nice. PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP THREE.
5: You have chosen a charming, slimy slug. It brings out your eyes! PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP THREE.
6: What's that? A unicorn? You're so lucky to have found one! Not only may you proceed to Step Three, you may also have another life.
7: You pick up an alligator plush and it explodes in your arms. YOU FAIL
8: A beaver! How woodsy! PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP THREE.
9: You probably have no idea what possessed you to pick up the Human Toddler Doll(tm), but now it won't stop crying and asking questions. You'll never hide in plain sight now! YOU FAIL
10: A quagga? Seriously? Those are extinct, fool! YOU FAIL
Humans love animals. There's no easier way to blend into the human world than to take your pet sloth out for a jog after work.
Once you have changed into your new outfit and nothing seems to have gone wrong, you are free to continue into the "kennel" where toy versions of some of the human race's favorite pets are available for your use.
Roll 1d10 to choose a pet. These results may change periodically as well.
1: You picked a dog. Some form of collie, it seems. PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP THREE.
2: You have chosen a manx cat. PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP THREE.
3: Your elephant doll is too heavy to carry. Too bad, so sad. YOU FAIL
4: A flamingo! How nice. PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP THREE.
5: You have chosen a charming, slimy slug. It brings out your eyes! PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP THREE.
6: What's that? A unicorn? You're so lucky to have found one! Not only may you proceed to Step Three, you may also have another life.
7: You pick up an alligator plush and it explodes in your arms. YOU FAIL
8: A beaver! How woodsy! PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP THREE.
9: You probably have no idea what possessed you to pick up the Human Toddler Doll(tm), but now it won't stop crying and asking questions. You'll never hide in plain sight now! YOU FAIL
10: A quagga? Seriously? Those are extinct, fool! YOU FAIL
Quote:
STEP THREE: CHOOSE YOUR NEIGHBORS
You're finally ready to try your hand at blending. You won't be meeting any real humans in this next phase, but these human simulators (robots) are close enough.
Upon exiting the kennel, you are faced with a long hallway. At the end of this hall is a four-way crossroads, the door at the end of each path marked with a different direction. Roll 1d4 in your next post to see which door you choose.
1 (North Door): Everyone on the other side of the North Door loves hats. Sure, you might stand out a bit at first if you don't have one, but either way they'll find you a fine chapeau soon enough, no questions asked. PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP FOUR.
2 (South Door): All of the people behind the South Door are psychiatrists. If you're not a psychiatrist, they will sniff you out and YOU FAIL. If you are a psychiatrist, you may proceed to step four.
3 (East Door): These "people" don't speak any language you've ever heard of. They're scaly and they walk on four legs and they might remind you a little of home, depending on who you are. You've invaded a den of robotic komodo dragons. Luckily for you, they don't seem to care what you're wearing or what toy you're carrying. PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP FOUR.
4 (West Door): A sharp-eyed kid sees you as soon as you pass through the West Door and promptly tells the authorities. You catch a glimpse of the community you might have successfully infiltrated, but that is all you see before you are ejected. YOU FAIL
You're finally ready to try your hand at blending. You won't be meeting any real humans in this next phase, but these human simulators (robots) are close enough.
Upon exiting the kennel, you are faced with a long hallway. At the end of this hall is a four-way crossroads, the door at the end of each path marked with a different direction. Roll 1d4 in your next post to see which door you choose.
1 (North Door): Everyone on the other side of the North Door loves hats. Sure, you might stand out a bit at first if you don't have one, but either way they'll find you a fine chapeau soon enough, no questions asked. PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP FOUR.
2 (South Door): All of the people behind the South Door are psychiatrists. If you're not a psychiatrist, they will sniff you out and YOU FAIL. If you are a psychiatrist, you may proceed to step four.
3 (East Door): These "people" don't speak any language you've ever heard of. They're scaly and they walk on four legs and they might remind you a little of home, depending on who you are. You've invaded a den of robotic komodo dragons. Luckily for you, they don't seem to care what you're wearing or what toy you're carrying. PLEASE PROCEED TO STEP FOUR.
4 (West Door): A sharp-eyed kid sees you as soon as you pass through the West Door and promptly tells the authorities. You catch a glimpse of the community you might have successfully infiltrated, but that is all you see before you are ejected. YOU FAIL
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STEP FOUR: ASSIMILATE OR DIE
You have dressed like them, adopted their domesticated wildlife, and been accepted into their midst... for now. Will you pass The Final Test? Roll 1d20 to find out.
1-13: You're pretty good at this human thing, but something's still not quite right. While hanging out with these faux fearbags, you make some form of unforgivable error which alerts them to your presence. YOU FAIL, unless you still have one of your lives, in which case, lucky you.
14-20: Your human act is flawless! Congratulations, you've passed!
You have dressed like them, adopted their domesticated wildlife, and been accepted into their midst... for now. Will you pass The Final Test? Roll 1d20 to find out.
1-13: You're pretty good at this human thing, but something's still not quite right. While hanging out with these faux fearbags, you make some form of unforgivable error which alerts them to your presence. YOU FAIL, unless you still have one of your lives, in which case, lucky you.
14-20: Your human act is flawless! Congratulations, you've passed!
Bonus Mechanics:
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Doppelgangers get an extra two chances to pass Step Four if they make it that far.
Y2 students get two lives.
Y3 students get three.
If you fail a step and still have an extra life, you must use it to retry that step, not bypass it.
Y2 students get two lives.
Y3 students get three.
If you fail a step and still have an extra life, you must use it to retry that step, not bypass it.
You complete the class when:
Quote:
You pass Step Four! Yay.
