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 Posted: Sat Jul 13, 2013 12:53 pm
At this point, this is a solo rp. That might change later, and this post/the title will be editted as needed. 
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Posted: Sat Jul 13, 2013 1:52 pm
"You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old." ~George Burns "None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm." ~ Henry David Thoreau "Old minds are like old horses; you must exercise them if you wish to keep them in working order." ~ John Adams "In youth the days are short and the years are long. In old age the years are short and day's long." ~Pope Paul VI
~~~~
"I hope I die before I get old" ~Pete Townshend
~~~ One by one, the dried petals of the black rose drifted down to the surface of the pond. As they hit, each petal cast a ripple upon the still surface, spreading out rapidly as they touched and overlapped. Each petal floated along on the water's surface, the center of their own individual rippling world. The stillness of the day meant that the petals stayed close to where they landed, floating alone in serenity and peace. He looked down into the water, a meditative expression on his face that confirmed he was looking without seeing. With one outstretched wing, he was cradling a withered and dead rose; with the other, he was gently rubbing the rose and casting the dried petals onto the water. It was a pretty sight; he'd always felt drawn to the beauty of the black rose, which, unlike its more colorful counterparts, did not lose its color as it grew older. It stayed true to itself even as it shriveled and withered, until it eventually became too fragile to touch. Yet one might look at the rose, and notice only the lack of gloss. The rose itself remained, its outward appearance showing minimal effects from the passage of time. His reflection looked back up at him out of the pond, but it was distorted by the petals and their ever-dancing ripples. The red coat was easily identifiable, but the rest of the face was blurred and blocked. Guilian looked down at his reflection without seeing it, until he finished crumbling the rose on his wing and cast the stem out onto the water. He surveyed his handiwork, the multitude of petals the last remains of the dozen roses which had previously decorated his mane and tail and the chain at his neck. He had worn the roses for longer than he should; a careless flick of his tail had caused one of the roses to crumble. He maintained several black rose bushes throughout the area he called home, being so fond of the flowers that he wanted to always be sure of a backup source. If illness were to carry away one patch, the others should be secure. And he typically enjoyed wandering along the little paths that connected his "home" clearing and the various rose bushes. But lately, he had found himself feeling lethargic and disinterested. It had been most fortunate that his youngest son, Laureat, still lived in the area and was willing to make a rose run on Guilian's behalf. Laureat had been delighted with the prospect, and had undertaken the mission with the zeal of one performing an epic quest. Guilian contemplated the petals for a few moments longer, then suddenly spread his wings and fanned the water. The force of the resultant wind gusts sent the petals skittering to the far side of the pool and stirred the surface from ripples into waves. For a time, the surface of the water was in chaos, then it settled back into its original state of calm tranquility. Once again, Guilian was staring down at his own face. This time, though, the reflection that greeted him was clear and unsullied, and he was able to examine it with a critical eye. The face in the water had the same keen eye and strong jaw it had always had, but there were lines about corners of his eyes and mouth. The eyes were still clear and dark, but there was a contemplative quality which hadn't been there in youth. The mane that fell about his face was still luxuriant, but there were strands of silver mixed in with the red and black which had always been there, and there were white hairs running along his jawline. It was his face, and he knew it well. He had witnessed it change with the passing of each year, growing from a cocky young buck to a mature adult, to the seasoned stallion who now looked back up at him. How long had he been in this world, looking at his own reflection? How many autumns had seen him celebrate another anniversary of his birth, and how many lives had he in some way touched? Gently, Guilian reach out to touch the mane of his reflection, casting new ripples on the water. Drawing it back, he examined the strong flight feathers at the edge of the wing, feathers which could still slice through the air with the grace of a dancer. His legs were strong and could carry him as briskly as ever, though he found himself tiring more easily these days than he remembered from his past. All in all, he looked quite good for a stallion younger than he! "But how much younger, my friend?" There was a wry humor in the stallion's voice as he spoke, still examining his flight feathers. "Perhaps you are not ready to admit it, even to yourself, yet you know it in your heart, no? You are an old stallion, an elder in age, if not in gifts. Yet why would you let this depress you?" His voice softened as he flexed his wings, feeling nothing beyond a slight stiffness that would make him feel more... seasoned then he actually was. "You are old, yes. This is undeniable, for you have white hairs and great-great grandchildren!" This was said with a chuckle, and he shook his head in great amusement. "Yet to be old...this is a mental state as much as a physical state, no?"
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Posted: Sat Jul 13, 2013 3:07 pm
Guilian turned away from the water, his expression reflective. It was true that he was growing older. It seemed unreal to realize that the 'old man in the mirror' was himself. But given how much he had lived in his lifetime, wasn't it more unreal he wasn't older?
Guilian ran a wing over his luxuriantly curling mane. When he'd first come to the Soquili lands, it had been short, only about as long as a hoof was wide. These days it was more than twice as long, hanging down to the bottom of his chest. It was as handsome as ever, but its growth was another testament to the passage of time. As he twirled one curl around his leading wing feather, he reflected on how many mares over the years had commented on his mane, how many noses had touched it or wings and stroked it. A small, self-satisfied smile crossed his face at the thought, a smile which softened as he considered how many of those mares he still saw from time to time, and with how many he was still on good terms.
He knew that there were many who did not agree with his style of life, and never had. When he first arrived in the Kawani lands, he had been a bit of an aberration. He had loved love for its own sake, with no desire for any permanence. It was true that he was of a seducing bent; he had never been one to deny it. But at the same time, he had always believed in honesty, and fully disclosed his intentions (or lack thereof) to any potential paramour. There were some he'd lost at this disclosure, of course, but many more had stayed.
He wondered how long it had been since he had truly tried to court a mare, how long it had been since he truly wanted to. His physical desires had remained as strong as they ever had been, but somewhere along the way, he had lost his desire for...well, for variety! For a stallion who had loved mares of every size, shape, and species, it seemed beyond belief that anything short of death could alter his ways. Yet long before the birth of his youngest children, he had ceased to have any urge to pursue any new mares. He still flirted up a storm whenever he encountered an eligible female, but he never took it further than that.
He chuckled, wondering just what his younger self would say if he knew how many prime prospects he had let walk away in the past few years. So much undiscovered potential, so much enjoyment he was cheating them both out of, his younger self would moan. And he himself would laugh.
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Posted: Sat Jul 13, 2013 7:08 pm
'Growing up' is usually a gradual process, so it seemed strange that Guilian could point to the exact moment in his life when his paradigm began to shift. For so many years of his young adult life, both before and after his arrival in the Kawani lands, he had gone through the same motions. He had had variety in his females, but the overall pattern was...well, a pattern.
But in one moment, everything had changed. In one moment, he had gone from a swinging single stallion without a single care in the world, to a father-to-be.
~~~~
For some stallions, having children was a sign of virility and male prowess. Having manychildren was an even greater one, something that those same stallions would refer to with pride. 'See how many offspring I have? Yeah, I'm a stud. Deal with it.' Guilian had never been one of those Soquili; had never needed the validation, and had long since come to accept that fact that he was apparently sterile. This had never bothered him; on the contrary, it brought a great deal of simplicity to his life. For a stallion who loved the lighter side of life and eschewed commitment, being sterile was the perfect way to avoid necessary entanglement.
Finding out that he was going to be a father had been a sucker punch to the gut. It was almost laughable in retrospection that when he learned the news, he was in more shock and fear of that bit of information than the fact the expectant mother was a somewhat unhinged kalona who was practically gunning for his blood in retaliation for his causing the situation. He had digested this shocking news with the speed necessary to survive the situation, and had committed himself then and there to a new concept: Responsibility.
Not once had he considered the idea that Izusa was lying to him when she said he was the father. Even before the foals had been born with their unmistakable resemblance to him, he had trusted that they were his. Some might call him crazy for taking a deranged Kalona at her word; some might also, perhaps correctly, point out that his getting involved with her in the first place had been somewhat idiotic. But Guilian had always had his own unique honor code, even back in the days of unbridled hedonism, and he had had no reason to doubt her.
He had done his best by Izusa, staying near her during her pregnancy. And he had tried his best to be an involved father when their three foals had been born. Amazingly, he hadn't minded the time spent, and when his children were finally born...
Words failed him now as he reflected on the effect those three small lives had made on his heart: Nicholai, the eldest, had been a silvery grey boy with his father's feathered wings and his mother's horn and tail. He had inherited the darkest personality of the three and Guilian hadn't seen him in years, but as a child, he had been charming. His daughter, Neve, who most closely resembled he himself with her feathered wings. He saw her from time to time; she had settled down with a lifemate several years ago and seemed to be quite happy with her life.
But it was the third child, his son Antony, with whom he most dramatically connected. As a child, Antony had been sunny and energetic, adoring of his father and worshipful of his ways. As he had grown, he had remained close to Guilian, eventually settling down with the daughter of Guilian's closest male friend and raising six children. These days, he still saw Tony on a semi-regular basis, and he cherished the relationship.
It was also Tony who Izusa had eventually turned on, a fact that rankled in Guilian's soul even to this day. In retrospect, he should not have tanlged with Izusa. Not because she was a kalona, but because she was fragile. She had wanted more than he was willing to give, and when he turned his back on her, it had apparently done bad things to her already fragile state. Much later, when Antony had encountered his mother, he had been told in no uncertain terms that if she saw him again, or his father, she would kill.
Guilian could take responsibility for his own actions, but he could not forgive what harm he could have brought to his children.
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Posted: Sun Jul 14, 2013 9:39 am
The birth of his children with Izusa had been been the turning point, but his new sense of responsibility had not meant he had abandoned his previous lifestyle. Given Izusa's somewhat...violent reaction to his admission he didn't plan to give up his mares, one may have expected him to at least try to rein things in a bit. While Izusa probably had the greatest justification for her upset, she wasn't the first mare who had gotten upset with him after the fact for moving on.
That had been a rough period for him, even with the diversion of his children. He had tried to think that things would go on just as they had before, that there were no major changes in his life (offspring aside). But without realizing it was happening, he had started to put down roots, and, even more surprisingly, to mature.
~~~
Meeting Luca had been the next turning point for Guilian, and arguably the most...permanent. This might be a strange assessment, given that he tried to be involved in the lives of all of his children, but Luca had been something extraordinary. A mare, a truly beautiful mare, who was for all intents and purposes a female version of him. She had been as intrigued with him as he was with her, and had been willing to spend time with him on his terms. They had had a lot of fun and a lot of laughs, and had seen each other on multiple occasions. It shouldn't have been a surprise when Guilian learned Luca was expecting, but once again, he was caught by surprise.
Once again, Guilian did his best to be the devoted expectant father. This time, he felt much more at peace with the whole situation, both due to his prior experience and the fact that Luca not only expected him to wander, but encouraged it. He had been over the moon with the degree of freedom she expected of him, and had paradoxically been willing to spend more time with her as a result. He smiled wryly, murmuring "Obviously reverse psychology is still alive and well, at least in stallions!"
Luca had given birth to a set of fraternal twins, and he had, naturally, doted on them. Their son, Juan de Leon, who they had always called Leon, had grown up to be a much more sensitive and serious Soquili than either of his parents. Guilian had done his best to be available to Leon as he grew up, but he had to confess he had always found this particular son a mystery. Somehow, Leon had developed a sense of conventional morality and a strong tendency towards quiet introspection. The last Guilian was aware, Leon had been courting a mare from one of the most traditional and hidebound families of his knowledge.
A laugh twitched at the corner of his mouth, threatening to escape and break the silence of his surroundings. He felt badly that he had inadvertently made things harder for his son, but the facts of the matter were that years prior, Guilian had attempted to seduce the mare's mother, unaware she had a lifemate. He might have a questionable morality, but he had never stood for adultery and would drop any pursuit if he learned a mare was lifemated, or even seriously courted. It just wasn't his way. But how was he to know, if he wasn't told? The purple mare hadn't said anything, and it wasn't until he encountered her lifemate that he learned the error of his ways. That particular stallion hadn't been a fan of Guilian's to begin with, so that incident only served to make things worse.
Guilian knew that there had been son issues in that family over Leon's courting of the girl when his parentage was learned, but he had confidence in his son's ability to overcome.
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Posted: Sun Jul 14, 2013 8:58 pm
Leon's situation was complicated, and Guilian had to accept that he had complicated it; never mind that the events which complicated it had happened years before Leon was even born. But truth be told, Guilian found Leon's situation to be infinitely easier to deal with that that of Leon's twin sister, Amarantine. Amary, as she had always been known to the family, had been born a perfect combination of himself and Luca in every way; from her pink coat to her curly hair, she was a physical manifestation of her parents. More than that, she had leapt into their style of lax morality with almost joyful abandon. Dainty, piquant, and coquettish, she seemed to attract stallions like honey attracted bears. In many ways, she was Guilian's most like-minded child, and he utterly adored her to the point of distraction.
Perhaps that was why she caused him greater sorrow than the rest of his brood combined.
~~~
He closed his eyes and sighed as he paced along the opposite shore of the pool, his hooves crushing black petals underfoot. Like many of his offspring, Amary wore the black roses of her father, in her case, even going so far as wear one in a silver chain just like her father's. Growing up, she had been a true "Daddy's Girl", idolizing just about everything about him. Perhaps that was why he had been so inclined to spoil her; had adored and indulged his precocious child.
There was something to be said for the adage 'spare the rod, spoil the child.' While it was true that Guilian had never once so much as raised his voice to any of his children, it was equally true that discipline was important. Somewhere along the line with Amary, he had let his indulgence overpower his better judgement. Amary had a sweet and loving disposition, but had grown up into an adult who behaved with unconscionable selfishness. Unlike either of her parents, she seemed perfectly content to ignore others' wants and needs if they interfered in her own wishes or desires, and often acted with no sense of responsibility for her own behavior.
Guilian couldn't have been more acutely aware of his failures in her upbringing as when he saw how she treated her own offspring, Guilian's grandsons.
~~~
It was inevitable, living as she did, that Amary would eventually have foals. One of her many assignations had resulted in the birth of three colts, colts who still made Guilian sink into depression to contemplate. Amary had given birth on her own, had named the boys and had, at first, made efforts to raise them. But she became frustrated with the demands of motherhood, bored with being forced to stay in one place. Without most of her family, inlcuding her parents, ever having been aware she had children, she abandoned the foals without a second look back.
One of the colts, a fellow called Guirien in honor of Guilian himself, had eventually found his way to Antony's family and had integrated himself into their home life. However, it wasn't until much later that he revealed to them what had happened. The other two colts were gone, without anyone, not even Guirien, knowing what happened to them.
Words couldn't begin to express the grief that Guilian felt over the callous treatment Amary had shown her sons, and the possibility that two of the boys might be dead. Rather than address that possibility, he preferred to think that they had demonstrated the same self-sufficiency that had driven him in his younger days, and had carved out successful lives for themselves in the world somewhere. Still, he couldn't help but grieve for them, and for Guirien as well. He had only seen his grandson a few times, but it hadn't been hard to see how much anger the boy carried within himself. Although a diminutive stallion barely the size of a regular mare, Guirien had thrown himself into training with his kalona uncle with a fierceness that had alarmed Antony no small amount in the beginning. He had consulted with Guilian on whether encouraging Guirien's almost fanatical desire to fight was healthy, and whether he should continue to allow the boy to train.
Guilian, after deep and uncomfortable thought on the matter, had decided it was likely best for Guirien to have an outlet for his inner strife. So Guirien had continued to fight, even as his Kalona cousins grew to tower over him. They had hoped the training was helping...but the last Guilian had heard from Antony, Guirien had abruptly departed one morning without any explanation, other than to say 'not to worry about him.' Easier said than done.
~~~
Guilian had been horrified when he learned what Amary had done. Not the having foals, that was perfectly normal and healthy. But he couldn't fathom why she maintained such secrecy, and why she had abandoned them, and how she could to this day have no guilt over what she had done. It had been months after the fact that she crossed paths with her father again, and had shared the news as an almost casual side note: 'You'll never believe what happened Daddy; I actually had FOALS! Three, if you can believe it, three massive colts. You'd hardly know to look at me, would you?' This had been accompanied by a pirouette to show off her tiny figure, and a giggle.
Further pressing from her father had lead Amary to divulge in the same casual manner how long ago the boys had been born, and soon there after, what she had done: "Oh, they're probably still back in that thicket. I got tired of hanging out there all the time, and they were so demanding! I can't imagine how you managed to be so patient with us growing up, Daddy, though I do appreciate it.' This comment was followed with a loving nuzzle and an almost...playful grin. Imagine!
As he came to exactly what had happened, Guilian first tried to press the seriousness of the situation on his daughter. Failing in that ("But Daddy, they'd been eating grass for days, maybe even weeks! I'm sure they can take care of themselves by now."), he had managed to get her to take him to where she'd left her sons; even in his mind, he had issues with the word 'abandoned'. But however well-intentioned, the gesture had been futile; none of the boys were there.
~~~
What had followed was a dark period for Guilian as he agonized over how this could have happened, how one of his children, who he so adored, perhaps even favored, could be so cold. What made the matter worse was that she was not a cold creature; he knew very well her sweet and loving nature regarding himself, her mother, and her twin brother. How could she be so loving in some respects, but behave so heartlessly to those who were truly dependent on her? If overwhelmed by the situation, why hadn't she asked for help? Why hadn't she brought the boys to her parents, if nothing else? And how could he, her overly indulgent father, take anything but personal liability?
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Posted: Wed Jul 17, 2013 7:51 pm
Guilian often wondered whether Amary would have been more forthcoming about her situation if he hadn't been so busy dealing with his own life. After all, they had always been close, and she had a genuine fondness for him. And what was more, she understood him, and understood how important family was to him. He couldn't think that she would ignore that facet of his character when she was in such a particular situation, unless there were some great reason. Unless he was projecting his own beliefs onto her, and her perceived understanding had been nothing more than humoring an old man.
~~~
Trying to make sense of the situation had always been tricky for Guilian. He could never, and would never, think of any child of his own as an obstacle, and he loved every child he'd fathered. But always in the back of his mind was the fact that at the time Amary most needed his aid and influence, he was dealing with his latest round of fatherhood. Had he been so focused on his youngest children that he'd neglected those older?
Guilian sighed, kicking at the drifting petals with a foot. He didn't regret meeting Vilinia, or the fun they'd had. She had been a new thing yet again, a mare with a biting wit and a someone acerbic tongue who'd enjoyed a good taunt more than anything. Well, almost anything. Their assignation had resulted in the birth of three more children, who were completely different from any of the five which had come before. The oldest, Rosalia, was the first of any of his children to inherit his cardinal red coat. Like her mother, she was wingless, and also like her mother, she had a sharp and cutting tongue. More than with his older children combined, Guilian found himself censuring Rosalia's tongue. He sighed again as he considered his absent daughter, who had taken herself off on her own as soon as she was old enough. He hoped she was happy, whatever it was she was up to.
Almost a polar opposite of Rosalia was the second daughter, Bettina. A peachy pink bundle of curls and smiles as even an infant, she seemed born to be happy. Even thinking of her made Guilian smile, and he could smile with confidence in the knowledge that she was safe and well. She had even found a mate, and had three children of her own! Three children who were loved and adored, he was happy to report.
But then there was Louie...
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Posted: Sat Jul 20, 2013 2:02 pm
The third child of his union with Vilinia had been a son, who they had dubbed Allouette. It still made Guilian chuckle to think of his whimsy in that choice of name; in the language of his youth, alouette was a word for a songbird, a lark. In that respect, it had been a very appropriate name for the son who inherited both feathered wings from his father and feather-like markings on his body from mother. From head to toe, he was a birdlike Soquili, and the birdlike name was certainly fitting.
While Guilian had shared the name with Vilinia and explained his thoughts behind the name choice, he had not shared with her how he knew the word, or the fact that he knew many more words in that language beyond it. Indeed, he was fluent in the language known as "French" and had been ever since he was young, learned at the knee of the mare who had raised him...and then some. She had been the most significant motivating force in his life, even to this day.
But somehow, it hadn't seemed appropriate to discuss his first love with his latest.
~~~
They had called their son "Louie" as a nickname. It was a his spirited nickname which, to Guilian, implied a silliness and avoidance of gravity, a cheery nature and high spirits. Or perhaps that had just been wishful thinking on his part, because even as a youth, Louie had been...well, a bit of a brat, if Guilian was being honest. Although he had been energetic and spirited enough, that energy had been channeled into entirely frustrating pursuits. Argumentative and confrontational, Louie had seemed to take pleasure in being perverse. No topic was too small to disagree about, and he had never even tried to learn the art of tact. When chided, he had stubbornly repeated his personal maxim that honesty was the best policy, no matter what.
Louie had always been a bright child, picking up on things quickly. However, he had been willfully stubborn in refusing to accept that when it came to social interaction, you sometimes had to compromise. Louie said whatever came into his mind, without care as to how it might be taken by the hearer. No white lies, no half-truths, just everything laid out in black and white. As a naturally smooth stallion, Guilian found this character trait of his son's beyond baffling, it was just impossible!
As Louie aged, Guilian had come to realize, with no small amount of shock, that it wasn't that his son didn't understand the concept of tact. No, his child, his son, flat out rejected it, and actually enjoyed the fallout! It was unfathomable, irrational, and completely at odds with what Guilian had always believed. Discussing this behavior with his son had done nothing, and if it wasn't for Guilian's legendary patience, he might have been provoked into losing his temper on more than one occasion!
It had probably been for the best that Louie had taken off on his own, Guilian reflected, and he found it incredibly ironic that he felt that way. With none of his other children had he felt the same sense of relief that he did when Louie left. He didn't even know what he son was up to these days, and he found this very depressing.
~~~
He was Louie's father, for goodness sake. That meant that he should love and cherish his son, not be glad that he was far away. He was sure that he still loved Louie, but wasn't it a sign of weakness or harshness to rejoice in his absence? Shouldn't he be sad about their distance, rather than relieved that it prevented further discomfort? It was a troubling situation, and he wasn't sure what the correct answer was. Yet once again, he'd found himself failing in what could be termed a father's primary duty.
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Posted: Sun Jul 21, 2013 8:27 am
Fatherhood certainly had its issues, Guilian had to acknowledge. Never before in his long life had he experienced a state which could simultaneously bring such joy and inspire such heartache. Casual relationships took on a degree of permanence when the participants were bound by the arrival of children. Whereas before he would usually part ways with his paramours with satisfaction, happy to encounter them again but giving little thought to the possibility, the mares who had birthed his offspring had become tied to him in a way he had never before imagined. A way which he had never before had the opportunity to imagine…
~~~
Guilian had been grappling with the after effects of Amary’s situation when word reached him of a new arrival in the region. The messenger had thought this new arrival would be of particular interest to Guilian because, although the messenger had not seen the newcomer himself, word had spread that he bore a beyond startling resemblance to Guilian himself. Even the newcomer’s name, Guiliaume, was similar, and it was thought Guilian himself might want to investigate the situation. Perhaps a long lost sibling?
Guilian had been grateful for the information and remained non-committal in the tone and manner of his responses to the messenger, asking almost off-handedly for information about when and where the newcomer had last been seen. But once he had seen off his guest, Guilian’s control broke down into complete and utter amazement. He hadn’t yet seen the new Soquili, but the name Guiliaume…
His thoughts whirling, Guilian mind raced back through the years, to a past which had shaped him, which had whispered remberances to him when he least expected it. A past from which he had thought himself separated forever, brought back to mind by a single name. And can we ever really leave our pasts behind?
~~
All things must begin somewhere, and the nature of an adult can often be traced back to one's upbringing and youth. Youthful role models and youthful experiences can determine whether one grows up suspicious, hurtful, pleasant, merry, timid, or, as the case may be, all of the above.
Guilian never knew his parents, nor any other blooded relations of his own. As a child, it never occurred to him to wonder, and as an adult he has seen no reason to mourn for what he never knew he was missing. Whether he was kidnapped, orphaned, abandoned in his basket he cannot say and was never told; the fact remains, though, that he was only a basket when he was taken in by the mare who would be most significant in shaping his personality.
His 'guardian' was a mare called Aurientia, a mare who could be described as 'beautiful' if one felt like being modest. Indeed, to this day Guilian cannot think of any more who more truly embodies the ideal of beauty and grace, though in his time he has seen and experienced many mares of many different appearances. Aurientia was one of the select few who nature has blessed with beauty and a natural earthy appeal, the sort of mare who could turn any stallion to mush with the turn of her head or the flick of her tail. Such was the mare who factors into his earliest memories, who made sure he was fed and had a place to sleep and wasn't eaten by wild beasts in the night. And such, as well, was the mare that eventually initiated him into his lifestyle of choice.
As might be expected of such a mare, Aurentia was never lacking for male companionship. Guilian grew up with many stallions around, some for short times, some for long times, sometimes with many hanging out in the clearing they lived in at the same time. The fawning behavior, the flirtatious smiles and the double entendre, it was all par for the course for Guilian and before he had passed foalhood he had come to accept that the way of the lover was 'normal'. Indeed, he got along famously with Aurentia’s paramours’, chattering away with them and learning many things about flirting, picking up girls, identifying interest, and many other 'questionable' behaviors. All was soaked up by his mind as though it were a sponge, aided and abetted by his natural personability and positive nature.
Growing up in such an atmosphere, it was almost inevitable that Guilian would come to embrace such a life himself, and at a relatively young age. Ever since he was a foal Guilian had been blessed with extremely good looks; his glossy wings and curling mane had him pegged by some of the older stallions (with a chuckles and a nudge) as one to watch when he got older. In time, he grew into a young stallion of height and muscle, one who could pose, preen, and strut with the best of them. Soon thereafter, he was initiated into the world of adulthood by none other than Aurentia herself, who had come to look on her young protégé as something entirely new and delectable.
It was a world Guilian had never even dreamed of, and he became the willing paramour of Aurentia, as well as her pupil in the amorous arts. She was still entertaining other stallions, but that only served to aid Guilian's quest for information; after all, the other stallions knew things that he didn't, and in the end, the important thing was that she was happy.
This peculiar 'free love' arrangement had lasting impact on Guilian; there was never any jealousy, any selfishness, any claims or promises. Aurentia was brutally honest to all the stallions she saw, letting them know in no uncertain terms that she would never be tied down, that she wanted nothing more than a good time and they should just enjoy each other while they were there, then move on and have fun elsewhere. It was a free-and-easy open door policy that might have raised a few eyebrows in the more morally bound Soquilis of the area, but suited them all just fine.
The only exception to all of this changing of partners was Guilian himself. Him, Aurentia was more than content to keep for herself, keeping him close at hand with coy smiles, whispered promises, and allusions to dreams that had never truly faded. Guilian, a young stallion head over heels in love and in his first physical relationship, was utterly captivated and willing to stay forever, her loyal boytoy on the side.
At least, that was the idea for a while. As time passed, though, he slowly but surely started to buck her control, the realization that he alone was bound to the monogamous life started to make him question the natural order. He loved his time with Aurentia, to be sure, but in spite of her experience and knowledge, things were starting to get...well, boring.
He reflected on the variety she herself got to experience, the stallions of all looks and types and behaviors. Sometimes she went out and found them, returning alone but with a smug, slightly secretive smile on her face that told him she hadn't spent her day alone. Other times, they would come to the clearing, winking at their competitors and chatting up the lady herself. Different heights, different breeds...it was all variety. So why, he reasoned, shouldn't he enjoy such variety himself?
By this time, he was a stallion full grown, well-versed in mares and the ways of wooing them. His time with Aurentia had been productive, but of he was truly going to get the most out of his life, he had to get out there and experience the world and its variety for himself. So one morning, he gave Aurentia a n**, then announced that he was going on a journey. She wasn't pleased, but after trying her favorite tricks and failing to change his mind, she blew him a kiss and watched him leave, little suspecting that the journey was to be a permanent one...and even less suspecting that he'd left her with a small memento: the child they'd conceived together.
~~~
French had been the language of Aurentia, and the language of Guilian’s past. Guiliane, she had called him, and sometimes, in her more whimsical moments, she would call him be a name still more at home in the language: Guiliaume.
Guilian set out that very day to find the new stallion, but he didn’t need to see him to know this stallion had to be his son.
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Posted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 6:44 pm
The moment he laid eyes on Guiliaume, Guilian knew that he had been correct. The stallion who had looked back at him with frank assessment in his eyes had been almost unreal; a stallion whose entire self could have been a younger version of Guilian himself, stepped forward from the past. They shared the same red coat, the same face mask and dark eyes, the same wings and socks, the same curls. The only difference was that while Guilian’s mane and tail were red, Guiliaume’s were as black as coal, save for one red lock at his ear. Like Guilian, Guiliaume wore a neck ornament; in his case, a black ribbon fastened with a dark brooch. The sight of that brooch had struck Guilian with intense force; he knew it as the sole ornament of his Aurentia. Yes, this was his son. Their son.
The first meeting had been powerful for both father and son. Guiliaume had learned, with no small amount of amazement, how large his family was, and how full and varied Guilian’s social life had become. He had listened as Guilian explained what had motivated him to leave their homeland and Aurentia, what had lead him to settle here. He had listened with quiet impassivity while Guilian had expressed his shock and amazement at meeting Guiliaume, his sorrow at not having met him sooner, and his deep regret that he had not been there for him when he grew up.
Children were a complex thing to have, Guilian had come to realize. They could inspire emotional highs and lows the likes of which he had never before felt; their actions, inactions, and very presence could be catalysts for their parents’ mood swings. He loved his children and firmly believed he would die for his children; however, it was his children which caused him his greatest pains.
Guilian had been first delighted at meeting this unknown child, but once that delight wore off he was overwhelmed with shame. Shame, that he had abandoned Aurentia when she was carrying his son; that he had never once taken the time to return to his former home in the intervening years, to see how she was doing. Shame that he had left his son to be raised fatherless, and outside the influence of any lifestyle but Aurentia’s.
It was true that such had been Guilian’s upbringing, but even in the course of their short first interview, Guilian could see that Guiliaume was different. Unlike Guilian, Guiliaume was quiet and contemplative; he emoted little, even upon first meeting Guilian. It had been amazing for Guilian to learn that Guiliaume had been looking for him for months, possibly even years; that his entire purpose during the course of that journey had been to find and meet his father. Upon finally reaching that goal, Guiliaume had betrayed little emotion, his expression remaining placid, if a little guarded; his voice level, and his eyes calm. It was very unlike Guilian, who was aquiver with excitement from his ears to his hooves!
Guiliaume’s placidity was much like his mother, Guilian knew, but was obviously channeled in a very different direction. He had discussed his life back with his mother, but his tone had been that of someone discussing an unsavory subject that he would rather brush past than dwell on. And it was this child Guilian had abandoned.
Had Aurentia known? Had she been aware of this child the night Guilian had slipped away? Had he left without ever giving her a chance to explain?
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