- Username:God of Agility - Character Name: Baki Hanma - Character Squad: 9th - Character Rank: Lieutenant - Affiliation: 13 Court Guard 9th Division - Sexuality: Heterosexual - Character Personality: Baki can be very cheerful and outgoing, but can also be very tough and dangerous. He never gives up in a fight, and will take any amount of damage to win the fight. Absolutely fearless, Baki is driven by vengeance and a desire to be the strongest grappler in the world. He is loyal to his friends, and has a strong heart. This heart has allowed him to have compassion for his enemies. - Character Likes: Fighting Music Training Aesthetics Bodybuilding - Character Dislikes: Cruelty Kido - Character Age:
[Human Age] 18
[Shinigami Age] 300
- Character Birthday: May 21st - Character Zodiac Sign: Taurus/Gemini - Character Blood Type: AB-
- Bio: Hanma Baki (named “Wild Fang” by his father) is a child born under an unlucky star. Since the day of his birth, Baki has been rigorously training at all kinds of martial arts, strengthening himself at his father’s command. For he must obey his father’s rule that at his “coming of age” Baki surpass his own father, Hanma Yujiro, “the most powerful creature walking on earth.” Baki’s life has been nothing but trouble. This has given Baki a wild nature and convinced him that “to be the most powerful” is his way of life. Tenacious and fearless under all adverse conditions, Baki continues his training looking for new masters and new challenges to strengthen his personality and become “the strongest man alive.”
Already gifted with monstrous spiritual power, Baki's martial arts training began when his father, Yujiro Hanma threw him down headfirst onto the concrete. Since then, his mother, Emi Akezawa had him train with world-class coaches to hone his skills. However, these methods were not good enough and Baki began his own training. This sparked a series of battles with mercenaries, gangsters, and even a giant ape! Baki grew stronger and evolved into a true warrior by the time he was 13. But, he was unable to defeat his father. Yujiro wasn't satisfied with Baki's skills and left Emi, leaving her with hatred towards Baki.
Two years later, Baki returned to Japan and began competing in the Supreme Fighting Circuit, a dangerous underground fight club. In three years time, Baki was champion, and defended his belt successfully, becoming champion. Soon after, the war between the Soul Society and Aizen occured while Baki was on a private island vacation with his loving girlfriend, Michelle. Aizen soon came for Baki in order to recruit him and use his monstrous power against the Soul Society. When Baki refused the Espada killed him. Baki died like a true warrior, fighting until his very last breath.
Baki was now a shinigmi and already famous even before becoming a Lieutenant because of his unbelievable fighting ability and strength. His superior techniques in most known forms of fighting entering the academy was like nothing the instructors had ever seen. He was exceptionally proficient in the fighting traditions of a variety of cultures and became advanced with his own individual methods of close quarter combat, including martial arts (from all over the world), boxing, and wrestling. He began taking missions with the Gotei 13 when he was still a student of the Shinigami Academy. Baki failed the entrance exam for the academy twice. However, his talent allowed him to become a Lieutenant in the 9th Division without having to pass additional tests in the end. He has been a Lieutenant under Captain Chieko for 275 years.
Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2013 1:51 am
- Character Skin Color/Ethnicity: Tanned Bronze - Character Height: 70in. - Character Hair Color: Baki's hair is thick with a light blue coloration that shines when reflected off the light. - Character Eye Color: His eyes are voidal in coloration, totally light blue. - Character Description: Baki is a physical personification of perfection and weighs in at over 230lbs. His physique is composed of a musculature and skeletal presentation nearly totally devoid of fat. Plainly stated, he is flawlessly sculpted and toned while being of perfect proportions. - Character Attire: Baki wears a sleeveless Shihakushō, and has his lieutenant insignia tied to his left arm. - Character Tattoos/Markings/Scars: Battle scars cover the entirety of Baki's body.
- Zanpakutō Name: God of War - Zanpakutō Spirit Appearance:God of War stands at 5'10" with a lean build. His blond hair is spiked, and he has blue eyes, which glow ambiently. He wears a high collar sleeveless black shirt, black pants and boots. - Inner World:Blue Galaxy - Zanpakutō Type: Baki wields a constant-release type zanpakutō which is always in Shikai form because of the strength of his spiritual power, or, more importantly, his lack of control over it.
- Shikai Status: [Mastered] - Zanpakutō Shikai Appearance:Link Baki's Shikai is classified as an enormous broadsword. From tip to handle, it is approximately six feet long, with a single-edged large blade approximately one foot wide. The blade is a lighter color on the bladed edge while the rest of the blade is dark grey, and the hand guard appears to be bolted or riveted into place. There are two holes near the hand guard, where Baki clips the zanpakuto onto his back wrapped in bandages. - Zanpakutō Shikai Abilities:
[Blade Hell] Baki can materialize a numerous amount of swords and establish control them, creating a rain of swords. Being able to manipulate swords also grants great proficiency when using a sword in combat or not.
[Titan Blast] The attack is formed when clenched fists are lowered to the user's side and the reiatsu is concentrated around each hand. Each hand can be punched forwards to unleash out a streaming, powerful blast of energy, which can travel for half a mile. 5 post limit.
[Holy Defense] Baki's body is completely surrounded by an invisible field of telekinetic energy, protecting him from harm and enhancing his physical abilities. Repetitive amounts of force can break through the energy field. 5 post limit.
[Oblivion] Generating a blade of deep black spiritual energy in his hand, Baki swings it at the target. Doing so causes a massive veil of black spiritual energy to erupt upwards from the ground and approach the target, darkening the sky and heavily damaging anything caught within the half a mile long blast. The energy continues to rise, dissipating into the sky. 5 post limit.
- Achieved? Yes
- Zanpakutō Bankai Name: Supreme God of War - Zanpakutō Bankai Appearance:Link Baki's Bankai appears in the form of an oversized Japanese Nodachi. From tip to handle, it is approximately seven feet long. - Zanpakutō Bankai Abilities:
[Supreme Strength] Baki takes all the power of his Bankai, compresses it into a small, condensed form, and uses the power of the Bankai to increase his strength dramatically. His new strength enhances his fighting prowess, allowing him to deal critical damage with one blow.
[Warlord's Vengeance] Baki is able to condense his reiatsu into crackling javelins of energy, which can travel for a distance of half a mile at blinding speeds. Upon striking a living entity, these javelins detonate, releasing a blast of lightning from the target, up into the sky. This attack causes the victim to become paralyzed for one post from electrocution.
[Wrath of the Gods] The ability is dedicated to the purest form of telekinesis, namely the generation and manipulation of telekinetic force itself. This ability is so unstable that it can only be used when the target is within a range of 3 meters. For example Baki could crush super heavily armored vehicles into tiny balls or tear them to shreds in an instant, and unleash telekinetic blasts strong enough to obliterate entire skyscrapers. They could also casually repel massive attacks. 5 post limit.
[Genocide] Baki can create concentrated forms of psychic energy and release it from his body to disperse over a wide area to do immense amounts of collateral damage. The power scale of this ability is colossal, being able to decimate an entire city. 1 post activation before attack. 1 post limit.
- Zanpakutō Bankai Time Able to Hold: 20 post limit. - Achieved? Yes
Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2013 1:57 am
Kido
- Bakudō:
1. Restrain (塞, sai)- Locks a target's arms in place behind their back.
4. Crawling Rope (這縄, hainawa)- An energy rope entangles a target's arms.
8. Repulse (斥, seki)- Creates a round shield that seems to temporarily paralyse and repel whatever strikes it
9. Strike (撃, geki)- Engulfs a target in red light, completely paralysing them. Incantation: Disintegrate, you black dog of Rondanini! Look upon yourself with horror and then claw out your own throat!
9. Hōrin (Disintegrating Circle)- Causes an orange hued tendril with spiralling yellow patterns to erupt from the users hand and attempt to trap a target. The end of it remains in the hands of the user allowing them to control the path of the tendril before and after capture. The Kidō is able to connect with another one of itself if both have captured a target and bind them together.
Incantation: "Disintegrate, you black dog of Rondanini!! Look upon yourself with horror and tear out your own throat!"
21. Red Smoke Escape (赤煙遁, sekienton) -Creates a blast upon activation and is used like a ninja's smoke bomb.
26. Curving Light (曲光, kyakko)- Hides the target from sight, presumably by bending light.
30. Beak-Stab Triple Beam (嘴突三閃, Shitotsu Sansen)- Shoots three beams of light that pin the target to one place on a surface, slamming into his/her body in three places in a shape of a perfect triangle.
37. Suspending Star (吊星, tsuriboshi)- Creates a star-shaped cushion of Spiritual Energy, which anchors it to nearby objects with "ropes" of spirit particles. It can stop falling objects, acting like a safety net.
39. Arc Shield (円閘扇, enkosen)- Summons a shield of energy to block opponents' attacks.
58. Summoning of the Tracking Sparrows (摑趾追雀, kakushitsuijaku)- Tracks and locates any spiritual force the user focuses on. To activate it, the user must draw a circle on the ground, cut into four parts with a specific character in each. The incantation animates the circle, causing various numbers to appear within until the specific set is found. The number set seems to be a variation on longitude and latitude.
Incantation: Heart of the south, eye of the north, finger of the west, foot of the east, arrive with the wind and depart with the rain.
- Hadō:
1. Thrust (衝, shō)- Pushes the target away from the caster.
4. White Lightning (白雷, byakurai)- Fires a concentrated bolt of white lightning from the caster's forefinger.
11. Bound Lightning (製本雷, tsuzuri raiden)- Electric current flows through any object the user touches and is able to lead electricity, damaging any target that is in contact with the object the current runs through.
12. Fushibi- A net formed from an attachment point on the caster, can be small or large depending on the reiatsu force behind it.
31. Shakkahō (赤火砲, , Red Flame Cannon)- Fires a ball of red fire at a target.
Incantation: Ye Lord! Mask of blood and flesh, all creation, flutter of wings, ye who bears the name of Man! Inferno and pandemonium, the sea barrier surges, March on to the south!
32. Ōkasen (黄火閃, Yellow Fire Flash)- The practitioner, raising their Zanpakutō horizontally in front of them, generates a yellow orb which widens itself along the length of their sword. Once it is fully charged, it fires outward as a horizontal blast, in a wide arc of yellow energy, at the target. This technique can be launched from the hand instead of a Zanpakutō, albeit producing a shorter arc.
33. Blue Fire, Crash Down (蒼火墜, sōkatsui, Pale Fire Crash in the English dub)- Fires a column of blue fire at a target in a similar manner to 31, but over a wider area and with more power.
Incantation: Ye Lord! Mask of flesh and bone, all creation, flutter of wings, ye who bears the name of Man! Truth and temperance, Upon this sinless wall of dreams unleash but slightly the wrath of your claws! In the English dub, it is read as "Ruler, the mask of blood and flesh, all things in the universe that fly, that which names all! In the name of truth and temperance, dig your claws into the wall of sinless dreams!
54. Abolishing Flames (廃炎, haien)- Fires a blast of purple fire that will incinerate a target completely when it makes contact.
58. Orchid Sky (闐嵐, tenran)- A widening tornado-like blast is fired towards the target.
- Uncategorized Spells:
Ambush Flare (伏火, fushibi) — Momo Hinamori uses this spell in conjunction with Shot of Red Fire. Rangiku Matsumoto states that it is number 12, but does not specify whether it is a Destructive or a Binding Spell.
White Crawl (白伏, hakufuku) — Although not seen actually using it, Momo Hinamori apparently uses this spell while imprisoned to knock out a guard and destroy everything within a certain radius of herself. The anime suggests that it is a binding spell, but doesn't number it.
Mirror Door (鏡門, kyōmon) — Tōshirō Hitsugaya used this to seal Momo Hinamori's hospital room. It creates a glass-like barrier which is difficult to break from the outside, but quite simple to break from the inside.
Shisō Kekkai (四葬結界, Quad Burial Barrier) — This technique was used by Genryūsai Shigekuni Yamamoto, and is the seal used to lock away Kōga Kuchiki. Four spears are used to trap the target by their hands and legs. The target rises up into sky and is then sealed in a black coffin-like box with chains wrapping around it. The four spears then pierce the box all at once.
Kongōbaku (金剛爆, Adamantine Blast) — A blast of spherical, red energy similar in strength to a Sōkatsui blast. While both number and classification of this particular spell is not expressly stated, it is clearly a Destructive spell.
Gaki Rekkō (牙気裂光, Raging Light Fang) — A spell that makes a circle of energy, before firing blasts of green light from its center in a cage-like formation. While both number and classification of this particular spell is not expressly stated, it is clearly a Destructive spell.
- Healing spells: [Supply list of known spells, with authorization of course. Add if learned. Optional.] [Squad Four Members gain these automatically.]
Other
- Hand-to-hand combat: (Hakuda) [Mastered]
- Agility: (Hohō) [Expert]
Shunpo
Accelerated Vision- Baki has the ability to slow his perception of time. Baki's mind and eyes process information at such speeds that time appears to have slowed down, allowing the him to easily perceive what would normally be moving too fast to see and respond accordingly.
Senka (Flash Blossom)- A Shunpo technique where one, moving to their opponent's back, directly attacks and seals one's "Saketsu" and "Hakusui" in two rapid strikes (effectively cutting them off from their spiritual energy flow). The technique is so fast, an opponent may not be able to tell whether they were attacked from the front or the back, and even an outside observer may find it impossible see the movements.
Utsusemi (Cicada, referencing their molting)- Way of Onmitsu, 3rd of the Shiho. It allows for movement at great speed, leaving an afterimage behind.
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Lieutenant of Division 9
Posted: Wed Jul 17, 2013 9:29 pm
Firstly, your biography is too short and doesn't line up with the plot. The Rogues couldn't have come 300 years ago because that's when the War actually occured.
Secondly, your Shikai is wayyy over powered. It's Shikai, no arsenal should be that jam packed with such destructive abilities. I need you to review that statement and add post counts and weaknesses. Ripping through the very fibers of space isn't going to fly with me. It's too godlike. Same for Bankai.
Thirdly, you don't get access to Shunko. Remove the last uncategorized spell as well. Your character cannot be an expert in all fields being a Lieutenant. I'll accept maybe one or two depending on Squadron.
Fourth, if you have a Family Clan ability, please create a clan and submit the arts to Kiiyashi. I expect these abilities to be original.
Okay, let's do this. My reviews are a little intense, and relatively comprehensive. Don't be disheartened or daunted by the size of it all, just take the feedback, and we'll work through this profile until it's good.
Bio and Character
"When Baki refused they killed him, but not before he had broken most of their bones, almost killing them in his final moments as a human. "
The Time Rogues. Entities who are about Captain level. He almost killed them all. yeahno.
You also seem to have grabbed this character directly from another manga. Didn't even really change anything about him. You even linked to the manga... :/
Would recommend creating your own individual, it's one of the best things about roleplaying. It's a lot more fun if you're not working through someone else's creation.
The Zanpakuto. I suggest working with a theme here, rather than throwing together abilities that sound good. It's called God of War, so perhaps focus purely on abilities that match that. Give him insane weapons, give him buffs to increase his power further, just avoid throwing something like telekinesis in there.
So he can spawn an undefined number of sentient swords that fight for him...? Either ditch the sentience, or limit the number quite a bit.
So for a Shikai ability, he gets a shield that increases his offensive power, in addition to being invulnerable until it is hit multiple times by a powerful attack...?
Attacks that go as far as the user can see are historically not fantastic. With everything said about this guy's physical perfection, he can probably see quite far. That's some intense range, there.
The Bankai. Hyper Speed combat... That's basically Ichigo's. And... Masamune? Really? Cloud's Buster Blade, and then Sephiroth's famous weapon?
wut. He somehow gains control over stuff orbiting the earth...? Don't even think Soul Society has an outer atmosphere... And that's damn insane, anyway. Meteors. Just gaining control over a meteor and aiming it at a foe...
Does that telekinesis have a downside...? Sounds as if he can just pin everything around him to the ground, and then stab them when he feels like it.
Psionic Explosion, does it have a charge time? If not, no. Something that powerful, able to wipe out a city, even used once it is intense. Three times in one fight would be unnecessary.
Skills. Just a little bit of balancing needed here, not too much.
Illusions could still be used against him. His body needs to react to something. And illusions can affect touch, sight, the mind, smell, everything. Depends on how they are used. He would not be immune to them all.
You missed Shunpo in the Other abilities section. And I'd recommend putting either that to average, or lowering Agility/Swordsmanship. He wouldn't be an expert in so many fields as a Lieutenant, and I am assuming you wish to keep Hand-to-Hand as mastered.
[Tactile Telekinesis] Baki's body is completely surrounded by an invisible field of telekinetic energy, protecting him from harm and enhancing his physical abilities. Immense amounts of repetitive physical force can break through the energy field. 5 post limit.
Change that to "Repetitive amounts of force can break through the energy field." and it is fine.
Quote:
[Oblivion] Generating a blade of deep black spiritual energy in his hand, Baki swings it at the target. Doing so causes a massive veil of black spiritual energy to erupt upwards and approach the target, darkening the sky and heavily damaging anything caught within the 3 mile blast radius. The energy continues to rise, dissipating into the sky. 5 post limit.
A 3 mile blast radius is well beyond insane. That's almost 5000m. Maybe... 3ft diameter? A roughly 90cm wide blast that rushes towards the target?
Quote:
[Orbital Debris Manipulation] Baki can create his own field of orbital debris, made from fragments of machines and other defunct man-made objects. Baki can direct this with his mind for defensive and offensive means, even influencing the countless waste orbiting the planet with devastating effects. 5 post limit.
This wasn't changed and doesn't really fit in with his other abilities.
Quote:
[TK Force] The ability is dedicated to the purest form of telekinesis, namely the generation and manipulation of telekinetic force itself. As a result, the possible applications aren't nearly as numerous and diversified as the widely encompassing Telekinesis, but what is lost in subtlety is gained in sheer power. Users thus cannot perform complex telekinetic operations, like the manipulation of matter and energy, being limited to more basic applications. But these are performed with overwhelming power. For example users could crush super heavily armored vehicles into tiny balls or tear them to shreds in an instant, and unleash telekinetic blasts strong enough to obliterate entire armies. They could also casually repel massive attacks. 5 post limit.
Again, not really changed. However, if you're really fond of the concepts of this ability and the one preceding it, I'd suggest merging them. In Bankai, rubble around him will be sucked into an orbit around his body, acting as a shield, or potentially being unleashed as an attack. Inanimate objects that get too close are also slowly crushed. So, not things like Zanpakuto or Shinigami, but if someone throws a building at him, it'll be destroyed partially by the barrier, and then just be dragged into orbit.
Quote:
[Psionic Explosion] Baki can create concentrated forms of psychic energy to disperse over a wide area to do immense amounts of collateral damage. The power scale of this ability is colossal, being able to decimate an entire city. 1 post activation before attack. 1 post limit.
For this, I'd just suggest making it fit the theme a bit more. If he summons a giant psionic sword, high above him, and launches that at the target as an ultimate move, that should be fine. Concentrates the damage, makes it thematic, damages the target area heavily and would affect the area around it, too.
Make changes to the things above, and this profile should be fine to accept.