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 Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 6:17 pm
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Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 6:22 pm
やった ~!
(Yatta!) DAMN RIGHT LET'S ******** DO THIS!! After a screeching shout, “Boy Be A Tiger” begins to play, and a man dressed in orange garb walks out onto the ramp. He has two very noticeable features... An orange striped tail, and a hat shaped like a tiger... the Tora No Boushi... the TIGER HAT! Tiger played on his DS while he jaunted down to the ring. Not that the match that he was playing wasn't important, but a beautiful girl promised him affection should he catch a meowth... and as such, he participated gleefully! After catching the critter, he cheered, more happy than ever, as he threw the DS to the side and ran to the ring! Tora-san slowly makes his way down to the ring, raising one arm as he looked over to his left, smiling warmly at the audience. He increases his pace to a quick jog, slapping the hands of the fans over the barricade. When he reaches the ring, he rolls under the bottom rope, pouncing to stand in the centre of the ring, raising his muscular arm once again. He then retreats to the corner, dancing there with a low spin. He bounces on his toes as he waits for the opponent...
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Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 6:28 pm
Por el camino del desierto
El viento me despeina
Sube el aroma de colita
Luna, luna de nadie
Ella a lo lejos
Una luz centela
Are you ******** serious? A DS? What are you twelve? El Hijo Del ******** Crusher comes walking through the curtains. Its not Freak in a mask. It is NOT Freak in a mask. Freak does not wear masks. Anyways, El Hijo Del Crusher pretty much sprints down to the ring. He runs fast, he parties hard, he doesn't need a meowth to get oral sex. He just needs a golden personality, golden skin, and a million dollar smile to get any Puerto Rican girl he damn pleases. El Hijo rounds the ring post and see's the DS on the ground. A man possessed by Satan himself, Crusher grabs the gaming system developed by Nintendo and rolls into the ring. He stands across from Tigah Hat, looking at him dead in his stupid Tigah face. "Watch this kid!" Crusher tosses the Nintendo DS to the ground, hits the ropes, then nails it with an elbow drop. Then he rolls over onto his stomach and starts dry-humping the Nintendo DS, erasing all progress made with his latex bound genitalia. The whole time he stares deep into Tigah Hats soul, licking his lips.
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Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 6:33 pm
Oh no you didn't.
Mock his heritage. Mock his skill. Mock his age.
But you do NOT mock Tiger's DS save data!!
With a rage unknown to him before, Tiger Hat launched towards the thoroughly evil El Hijo Del Crusher with a Lou Thesz press, aiming as many harsh blows to his head as he could!! Destroying a DS... YOU MONSTER!!!
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Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 6:36 pm
"Hey holmes! GET A PSP! The games are better! The graphics are better! You want a touchscreen? How about you touch my balls AMIGO-HGH"
El Hijo stands up only to be pounced on by the thoroughly pissed off Tiger Hat! He flops and flails around, trying to shield himself from the punches, arms over head! Open up those fists, Tiger Hat! Open up those fists and put an N-Gage in those hands. That's a real hand held.
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Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 6:39 pm
N-Gage? N-GAGE? ARE YOU ******** SERIOUS BRO!?!?
Tiger Hat for the Nintendo Massiv, doing his duty raining blows down on El-Hijo Freak Whatever. He aimed twice as hard, and double the blows to his head - the a*****e - before crawling off him. The bell rang as he did, ready to legally start the match which had been prematurely influenced.
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Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 6:44 pm
El Hijo Del Crusher rolls onto his stomach, onto the debris made by the broken Nintendo DS. As the bell rings and the referee distracts himself with calming down Tigah Hat, Crusher digs through the rummage of the DS, picking out the stylus and putting it between his fingers before reaching his feet and stumbling towards the ropes with a dull head pain..
Somebody better call an ambulance for Tiger Hat.. An ambulance that could only be called with an N-Gage, which has phone call capabilities ahead of its time and unseen by any of its less innovative, less successful successors. The N-Gage, a sixth generation device released in 2003 by Nokia, set the standard for other technologies such as the I-Phone, paving the path of communications advancement for years to come.
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Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 6:47 pm
Tiger Hat saw nothing, because the N-Gage was a piece of trash, designed for no more than the gullible idiots who sought a device beyond its time... which did not live up to the hype. He roared his signature below, "TIGAH," before aiming a double axe handle to El Hijo's head!!
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Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 6:52 pm
Tiger Hat telegraphed his attack by yelling his own name. El Hijo Del Crusher jumps a little bit, luchadores are easily startled. With the stylus in his fingers, he steps forward towards the hatted superstar and pokes right at his eye with the improvised, overrated tool.
The referee, meanwhile, is on his phone, looking online to measure the pros and cons of getting an N-Gage vs. a Nintendo DS, a decision that would, to a thinking man such as El Hijo, be somewhat obvious, seeing as N-Gage, despite only selling 3 million copies, haS music and radio capabilities with a memory of 3.4 mb.
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