Painful Stories

[Fieoras]

Okay, I've never told anybody this because I always seen it as a weakness and I didn't think anybody would understand. I've never trusted anybody enough but recently something made me open my eyes.

Later when I started elementary school, all the kids would hit me with sticks or throw rocks at me so I would run. Then my brother bullied all of them so they got revenge on me. When I told my brother, he invited them all over and left me alone with them. My brother has a mental problem so I had to be careful not to set him off or he would try to strangle me or drown me. There were times my sisters caught him and gave me CPR. Dad wasn't paying child support so Mom went to school to get a good job. We didn't have a car so she carpooled and left before I woke up and came home after I went to bed. So I was practically raised by teenagers.

Anyways, by the time I was 7 this was my life routine: go to school and get bullied. After school I went to my babysitters where I watched her daughter play because she told me I'm ugly and dirty and don't deserve to play because I wasn't worth it. Then I would go home where my brothers' friend who was older then me use to play hide-go-seek and while my brother wasn't there he use to force me to suck him off. Then when my brother was there, he would beat me. And then on weekends I went to my grandmothers where she would also tell me I'm a stupid and ugly kid not worth her time. And there was this guy who wouldn't bully me, but at the same time he never stopped others from beating me and even laugh. He often came over and would rape me. I remember the first time I screamed to my grandmother for help and all she said was "nobody likes a tattle tale". Later I escaped him in the apartment building and banged on every door screaming for help and I know they heard me because there was shuffling but they ignored me and locked their doors.

Growing up, I believed everything they told me because nobody has ever told me otherwise. My life was like that until Junior High, then I was only a slave to people. In High School everybody wanted to be my best friend. Guys would make fun of me with their friends, but then ask me out when they weren't around. I trusted no one. My doctor is actually surprised I didn't commit suicide sweatdrop

Oh yeah, I also found out later that my Dad was raping my sisters and that's why my Mom got rid of him and to this day my family won't leave me alone with Dad.... Actually, anybody in my Dads' family because that who side of the family is messed. I don't get along with my Dad at all, he never even told his close friends that he even had a daughter, instead he always bragged about my cousin so my Mom would get mad at me everytime I brought home my report card because I wasn't smart enough for Dad to brag about me.

So yeah.... that's pretty much my life until a couple years ago when I started traveling with my laptop and now everybody wants to see me because I don't sit still. Within 2 years I've moved 13 times. Oh yeah, I also have a heart condition so I usually have strokes everytime I even get a little stressed, and I'm allergic to the sun.

I'm trying to understand my emotions now because their back. When I was a kid I just blocked out all emotions, but now their back and I don't even know who I am anymore. sad So yeah, that's my story. Sorry it's so long sweatdrop  

[Pixie Pasha]

DBZ_Chi_Chi

My doctor is actually surprised I didn't commit suicide

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I do not recommend going to this Doctor ever again. Some one that would say something like that is a poor excuse for a healer of the mind. (Assuming we are talking about that type of Doctor.)

-------⊕

 

[Xaolu]

Faeriegirl005

well..you can't blame yourself..for other peoples mistakes.. some poeple only see the bad and not the good so when his life was turned upside down by a new member of his family.. he chose not to make good of the situation..and instead became selfish.. even though the life you had when you were younger with him..wasn't too good it is never to late to make ammends.. anything can be fixed if you try hard enough to do it.. ^^

The real question is, do you actually wanna forgive people who made your life hell just because you were a little inconvenience to them?  

[-MysticCherri-]

for as long as i've known my father he's been a drunken redneck. he abused my mother cheated on her beat her until she was bruised when they where married. when i was three and a half mom finally had enough of it and packed up and left for my grandparent's house and filed for divorce. i've lived in a trailer that had roaches the size of kazoos literally. i've been picked on my entire life. scammed out of my lunch money and beaten. we moved back to miss. to make the joint custody thing a bit smoother mom files for bankruptcy because dear old dad whom by the way can make up to 100k a year wasn't sending enough money to support my a**. then mom met my step father and he picked on me like a school yard bully day in and day out (recently he apologized for every thing he said and things are better between us currently.) then we moved to Florida same ol' same ol' then cept' now i have puberty to deal with on top of all this. high school, some of the best of times some of the worst of times for three years i had actual friends who liked me the way i am... time skip to junior year the only girlfriend i have ever officially had dumped me in four days then decided when i wanted to hang out with a mutual friend she'd be a total b***h to me at the chorus trip. that summer i had a choice. either stay with mom to go to Utah or go to Mississippi again to live with dad a while. i chose ms since it was closer to Florida and closer to my friends. big mistake. he makes me get a hair cut calls me lazy every time he gets the bloody chance. urges me to go dear hunting and threatens me with a a** whooping and making me join the military war machine. (and I'm 19 almost 20 and a peaceful man by nature.) oh fine I'm the one whom is lazy? he's the one who was lazy for 17 1/2 years not I. mmk senior year high school. forced t wear uniforms, my step mother whom acts like a fricken' saint but is actually a demon with an aura darker then the darkest black. goes though my stuff takes my incense and my tarot cards and throws it away and calls me a sorry sack of s**t and a devil worshiper. she stole my class ring from my old school (i bet she sold it to i still haven't found it.) the only two people who wouldn't pick on me and became my friends. one of them was a gamer whom claimed to be a redneck which got kinda annoying and the other one i can't find...it's like he vanished off of the face of the earth. this summer me and a friend outside of school (he had dropped out basically) and i where working for my dad he gets sick and dad calls of both and i quote "a couple of queers walking up and down the road an' you weren't working at all" which was a load of crap so i left and spent a week drifting around. first semester of collage. first half it's like i don't even exist no one to talk to. failing grades a major i now hate along with a dad who thinks he can still change me.  

[ILoveTalkingOranges808]

I had alot of a painful past, corst situations and I got taken away from my mom, but it wasn't her fault. I told all this to a friend I trust 100% with my whole life and secrets. I wrote that I told her in my diary and my mom was furious. She took me out of school early to ask me what I told her exactly... It was a fainful day that day because my mom kept saying that she would probibly slip out everything, and that I couldn't trust people that much. I wanted to attack her, but I had enough self controll. But it may not seem that painful to you... I just wanted to get that off my chest and share that.