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 Posted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 9:18 pm
It was still early. Early as what might possibly count as a reasonable time to be visiting and possibly waking someone up. Sherry was aware that her body could use a lot more sleep, but her mind was running to fast in too many directions to allow that. The time she should have spent winding down was spent running a million things over in her head. She had a lot of people to find in the next day or two, a lot of people to talk to. Starting at the obvious place meant she was in the infirmary... again.
She might have to see what they could do for colds down here, too. She'd woken up achy and tired. At first, she'd attributed it to the events of the night before, but she discovered she was also a bit congested, and possibly experiencing a cough. The infirmary was probably the last place she should be taking a possible cold bug, but really, it was too soon to tell if that's what this even was. She was probably just tired.
That's what she told herself as she neared her destination. She knew Jake had made it back with everyone else. She also knew he'd gone straight to the infirmary, an action which she'd certainly supported. Hopefully he didn't mind her barging in quite so early; she didn't know if she could just sit around and think all morning.
She gave the door a quick knock before stepping right on in. "Morning," she said. "Are you up?"
Not that she knew what she'd say if he wasn't. ...She really needed to think about things sometimes.
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Posted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 10:01 pm
Jake only nodded tiredly as the tech continued lecturing him, warning him not to slink off while his injuries were still healing. Not only had the mission put a strain on them, delaying the healing process, but he had managed to catch a cold in the process. Probably from the stupid ocean.
"And if you don't want to be stuck with that limp for the rest of your life, then you will STAY PUT until you're properly discharged." They went away muttering something about hot-headed trainees and how it'd be a miracle if it ever did heal right without the help of a weapon.
Sighing, he flopped back down on the bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering how to pass the day, when he heard a knock and turned his head. Oh.
"Hey." He didn't think he needed to answer the second question because... yah.
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Posted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 10:18 pm
Sherry smiled, because that was what you did when greeting someone you were happy to see.
If she had to guess, she would have said Jake looked tired, though after everything it wasn't to be unexpected. Boats, running around, monsters, cold oceans, and all that on top of still healing wounds. "How are you feeling?" Another obvious question, but one worth asking. "Do you mind if I bother you for a bit?"
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Posted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 10:51 pm
"...Tired."
It was all he managed to say as he closed his eyes and sighed. This... needed to not be a regular thing. He remembered Sherry visiting him before, and how he had tried to end it once and for all, but then he ended up losing against his inner turmoil, blurted out a bunch of things he really shouldn't have said, and... promptly passed out... again. Hadn't something like that happened before, after the Sahara mission? And.. if he remembered, both times he had... ended up passing out on Sherry's shoulder. No wonder the poor girl was so confused. He kept sending her mixed messages. If he wanted her to leave, he had thought treating her coldly would work, but it only had the opposite effect, though when he asked nicely...
It had almost worked, but the fact that she thought he was pushing her away because she wasn't good enough for him infuriated him. How could she even think such a thing? It was he who wasn't good enough. He couldn't even take care of himself, and not only that, he seemed to attract trouble wherever he went. Sherry didn't need THAT kind of attention, and the memory of that horseman threatening them... he shivered. Never again did he want to hear her offer her life in exchange for his own. Never.
This... this couldn't go on. He had to end it, before it was too late, but, during their last mission... he gave her a gift, and not just some cheap knock-off. He wasn't sure why when he thought about it now, but it seemed to be a spur of the moment thing, and her reaction...
He still remembered it, felt it. He hadn't pushed her away that time, because... while he didn't want to admit it, it had felt... nice. He liked the feeling of her lips against his, and he flustered slightly as he recalled the memory. She had caught him off-guard in the tomb, and at that time, he had been too confused and bewildered to understand the meaning behind it. But now... now he knew how he felt about her, and... was starting to acknowledge it. He shouldn't. He should stop. Stop this before it was too late.
"I don't really have a choice, do I?"
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Posted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 11:12 pm
"I think everyone is tired," she said, emphasizing it with a nod. Jake just looked especially tired right then. Or something else. She couldn't be sure, so she went with tired.
"You do, actually," she couldn't quite hide the hint of regret in her voice. Regret or sadness, not even she was certain. Biting her lip, she glanced to the wall eying the chair there. If he didn't want talk, she wouldn't need it, but if he did she didn't want to stand all day. With a sigh, she stepped over and grabbed the thing, pulling it up close to the bed and planting herself on it.
"Though I would like to talk with you." Her fingers brushed the heart hanging from her neck a little nervously.
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Posted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 12:00 am
He had caught the tone behind her words, and pushed himself up, looking at her weary. As she got closer, he noticed she was still wearing that necklace he had given her, mixed feelings washing over him. He was... happy she was wearing it, which meant she liked it, but... if he was planning on letting her go, it'd only be that much harder.
"What did... you want to talk about?"
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Posted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 12:10 am
"A lot of things." She didn't know if she even wanted to talk about the things that had been weighing on her. Especially not after how things in the past had been. It was just... after his weapon broke he'd said things, and then on the boat, and... Sherry was wanting to read too much into things. She knew she shouldn't, but she still wanted to.
"We're friends, right?"
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Posted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 12:19 am
It was hard reading expressions, and he tried to understand what was weighing on her mind. Though now that she was here, he supposed... he had some things to say too.
Her first question made his lips curl into a frown, wondering what the best thing to say was. He had tried and tried to sever the tie, but it seemed Sherry was adamant to at least remain friends, if nothing more. Part of him wanted to be ok with that, that it wouldn't hurt her as much if it stayed this way, but no. She cared too much as a friend, and he... ever since her confession, he had been trying to come to terms with his own feelings, trying to understand how he felt about the whole thing. In the end, he realized... he really did have feelings for her, which only grew the more he spent time with her. He wanted to be selfish, but... his selfishness had led to the other party's demise in the past. He couldn't let the same thing happen again. He... didn't want to just remain friends, but he couldn't pursue this relationship any further. It was either all or nothing.
"... I don't know."
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Posted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 12:42 am
Sherry closed her eyes, focusing on keeping her hands in her lap, and not fidgeting with her jewelry. She'd known it was a, what was the saying? A loaded question? There was no good way to answer it, not with everything. His answer had not been what she'd been expecting, or what she'd been not allowing herself to hope for. It was something else entirely, and somehow it made her heart ache.
Taking a deep breath, Sherry tried to think of something to respond with. She wanted to ask him so many things, but she was afraid of the answers. It was-- She coughed. Damn. It had to be a cold.
"Then..." what are we? She was so afraid of that question. She didn't even need a proper label for it, she just wanted to have some kind of idea. Not touching that necklace took all the willpower she had right then, though she was biting her lip instead. It almost felt like she was at sea again, in the darkness and waves. She didn't know what to say.
"What do you know?"
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Posted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 1:05 am
"I..."
He really didn't know. Even after all his time here, he really didn't know anything, still the same naive hot-headed fool. Though his answer wasn't a COMPLETE lie, he could see it was hurting her, and his gaze lingered on the necklace. He really shouldn't have given that to her, but... he had no right to ask for it back. He didn't care about the monetary value as he himself didn't desire a lot of things. Not materialistically anyways, but... that necklace would only serve as a constant reminder of false hope.
"All I know is... I'm not the right person for you."
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Posted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 1:30 am
She tried not to let it show, but somehow the words he said stung a lot more than she had anticipated. Which was silly because he'd rejected her before. Rejected her and asked her to leave him alone. She'd been selfish and stupid and hounded him for some stupid reason, determined to be his friend like some annoying little kid, and now he was reluctant to even be her friend.
"Ok." Did she sniffle because of the tears or her congestion? "I'm sorry, I'm still tired. I..." She sighed. It was fine. That was fine. He didn't want to be with her. She knew that. So why the hell did it still hurt?
Somewhere in her mind a dragon seemed to shift, uncoiling itself a tiny, little bit.
"I'm sorry," she said again, "for my behavior over the past few weeks. For the...boat." She was sorry for hurting him, more than once. She didn't regret kissing him, though. Or offering her life.
"I just don't see why..." we can't be friends. She'd almost said it, but as the words were leaving her mouth she realized why. She couldn't. She'd proven that yesterday. It hadn't been a friendly kiss. It had been a question, an offer, a statement, and a thanks. But not in a friendly way.
She looked at him, exhaling greatly. He didn't want her here, she shouldn't have bothered him.
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Posted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 4:55 am
Right now, he knew he was treading on thin ice. He was already quite aware of Sherry's feelings towards him, and he... well, he... might have let on to more than he should have. If he didn't try to take this chance now, he may lose it forever. Either way... both options didn't make him happy, and he was sure if Sherry knew... she would object. But a broken heart would mend with time... would it not? He wasn't sure if he was trying to convince himself of this also.
"You don't... need to apologize..." he felt more tired than he should have. "You might have gotten a cold too from last night, so take it easy..." Though he might have gotten a cold, this... might have been partially due to a lack of FEAR shield to help buffer out the freezing temperatures, as he was sure with one, he wouldn't have... gotten sick so easily. Sherry though... hell, he wouldn't have been surprised if all the girls caught a cold, what with the ridiculous amount of skin those dresses left exposed. He might have flustered a bit again remembering Sherry's dress. And the ship...
"Speaking of the ship, I..." his gaze lingered on her necklace. "I hope you don't read too much into that. I know... I said it was a gift and all, but..." He shifted in the bed, trying to get comfortable. The wounds didn't ache anymore, but a new one was opening up inside of him. "I understand if you don't want to keep it anymore because of this. I... won't... ask for it back, but..." Now he was rambling, and he wasn't even sure what he was saying anymore. Maybe it was to distract him from his thought process, that the repercussion of what he was doing might be much more than he could bear.
"I..." No. He had to remember. She was better off without him. She was just deluding herself into thinking she'd be happy with him. This was for her own good.
"I'm sorry."
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Posted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:21 am
She almost laughed. It probably would have helped hide her emotions. "I think I did catch something. You too, huh?" She wasn't even looking at him. She ached all over, inside and out. She knew she was going to cry, even if she didn't want to. That was the silly thing. She knew. She couldn't get over how silly she must really look. She was rather ashamed of herself, and she wasn't afraid to admit it.
Shaky fingers brushed against the pendant as he stared at it. Right. No misinterpretations. Except everything that had happened after the Horsemen had been nothing but... No. Most of that had been too soon. He'd probably been raw emotionally and on meds and...
"No. I'm sorry." She was shaking her head. "You've put up with a lot more from than you should have. I've been rather terrible about this whole thing, haven't I?" She did laugh, then.
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Posted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 10:09 am
"Yah..." he mumbled, letting out a soft chuckle.
No, wait. What was he doing? Talking like this was only going to make her want to stay. The longer he prolonged this, the more it hurt both of them. Perhaps Armagnac was the only one happy with this outcome. Hadn't she been trying to get him to stay away from her, or... make Sherry give up on these feelings? Perhaps she could help soften the blow for her, help her learn to see the truth. But he...
A wave of guilt and nausea overcame him. Chester. All Chester wanted was for the two of them to see eye to eye. The nergal had wanted nothing more than for the two of them to get together, but now... He could almost feel the weapon's disapproval in his mind, and despite everything, was somewhat glad he was asleep, or it would have been absolutely impossible, as he was sure Chester would forbade him from having such thoughts, and wouldn't allow such a talk to arise. His meddling had already made things extremely complicated, and, well...
I'm sorry, Chester. This just isn't going to work out.
"Sherry..." Why did she still insist that this was all her fault. He was the one to blame here... for everything. "You... you shouldn't be the one apologizing. I was really out of line with the way I treated you, and even though I didn't approve of your feelings, that was no way to act. I'm sorry you had to put up with that, and yet, you still..."
He didn't understand how she could still have feelings for him after all that. Anyone else would just acknowledge him for being the a*****e he was and wouldn't bother coming back, but she... why didn't she give up? Were her feeling for him really that strong? Was this why Chester said that they were meant for each other, that she could put up with his abuse and still love him for who he was? The thought made his heart ache.
"I'm sorry for putting you through all that, and even though I told you I wouldn't be able to return your feelings, I... still did and said things that made you hope. To be honest, part of me did want this to work out, that we could still be friends even if it didn't... work out that way, but now I realize it's impossible."
I can't protect you, Sherry. I can't love you the way you love me.
"...I'm sorry. I really am."
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Posted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 6:15 pm
She had, in all honesty, agreed with him for a bit there, to a point at least. He had been rude and mean. She'd forgiven that long ago, but he didn't know that. It didn't change the fact she felt bad for acting as childish as she had, either. With a wave of her hand, she dismissed it. She'd forgiven it, it was in the past and...
When he kept going, kept apologizing, she listened. Maybe they'd both been out of line. Maybe-- Sherry stiffened in her chair. "What?" Her voice nearly caught in her throat, and the question was accompanied by a cough. "You never wanted..." How many times had he told her he never wanted friendship, let alone anything else?
The anger was back. A tiny little pin-p***k of emotion in her heart. "You didn't give anything chance, not until..." She shifted in her seat, coughing again. "Impossible? I suppose it is, isn't it?"
Her hand slipped into her pocket, looking for something to fidget with. She really didn't know what to think about any of it now. "No. I"m sorry."
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