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Name: Amelia Chorus

Nickname: Am, Ame, Ami, Amy (The last two warrant her killing you), Starling (ONLY mom)

Age: 18

Birthday: April 15

Sign: Aries

Gemstone: Diamond (Diamond gotta get me some diamond)

Blood Type: O+

Fav. Food: Sushi, Sashimi (Delicious fishes), BACON, meat in general, Nori

Hated Food: Tofu, avocado, eggs. They either leave aftertastes, coat her mouth, or both in really gross ways.

School: Sovereign Heights Prep School

Hobbies:

Her Car
It does not matter how rich she is, even if Mommy Moricorm pays for everything, Amelia dotes on her cars. Being the favorite of all the siblings,, if Amelia wants it, Amelia gets it. And Amelia wanted to learn enough about cars to convince her to buy her a 1980 Shelby Mustang with all the trimmings that come with it.... In short, she drives a pretty car that cost a pretty penny. And you know what? She'll let you ride in it as long as you don't damage it. Amelia is do protective of her car, she learned to do light maintenance by herself, even if Ri insists a body shop is no object. Amelia loves her some cars.

Robots
Amelia digs robots. She can never have been called a plain out tomboy entirely, but it's safe to claim that she's loved robots since she can remember and she's bugged people to death collecting robotic toys, posters, TV show DVDs, Movie DVDs, and yes, she owns a robotic pet-- Her AIBO still works perfect. All three of them. She simply keeps her pooch from them. The moment robots come up, Amelia's there, because robotics are cool. This usually includes giant robot Anime, shows... Yes, even Robot Wars.

Exploring
Amelia loves going new places, seeing new things... Or going to areas abandoned in an urban area. Y'know. Whatever. The same five McMansions gets boring, and as such, she's prone to going into the outskirts to climb, see things, and generally explore. Added to this is her habit to perch on things, and you have someone who's avoided arrest or even being seen well.

Tae Kwon Do
Amelia began studying Tae Kwon Do almost as soon as she was allowed, as a form of self defense, and she practices even now. It doubles as great stress relief, and she makes sure to keep up her lessons weekly. Because of a later start than most, Amelia's only at Red 2, and in no position to work on the Danbo rank in her dojo yet.

"Myth" Busting
Amelia is rather a fond of shows that make science fun. When she can, she'll start.... Trying to emulate the "Safer" experiments to see what happens, or pay someone to go into a safe location to safely pull off more dangerous far. This trait is encouraged by her uncle, who seems to think allowing his niece to do all manner of insane stunts is wise. She's usually -safe, has permits, and all.... But really, you don't simply want to get pulled into this unless you want to find out if flour can explode! Incidently, this habit gets worse after a Mhbusters marathoin. No, really, Adam and Jamie are a terrible influence.


Virtues:

Generous
Amelia is rather fond of sharing. She likes to do for others and she'd be a great civil servant if she wasn't expected to run a business one day. She likes helping people, taking care of their needs, and sharing the stuff she has, usually money. Honestly, one usually doesn't need to ask, she simply will hand it oer if she has cash on hand and overhears someone mention need. She won't go overboard and buy people a car or something, but she might buy then something to help them daily, or the cash for a doctor or vet bill, no questions asked-- and this is despite the fact they cost. Amelia is.... Well, just that sort, really, and she sees it as a self-imposed, welcome social duty.

Open Minded
Amelia's upbringing is not something she talks about often-- mostly, because otherwise she might be looked at strangely. Growing up with two fathers (and a polyamorous mother who was quite happy with a husband and a unwed consort of sorts), seeing both her grandfather's normal dealings and the rumours of his countless mistresses, as well as his extremely cut-throat business tactics... And on her other grandparents' side a Grandmother who travelled with her husband frequently enough to other countries that the woman sometimes forgot American social graces.... Amelia is fairly open minded about a lot of the world. She's not sheltered, because where her family is unique and even at times many family members have control issues, being sheltered and stupid is not a trait allowed. She likes seeing different lifestyles and cultures and she's open to different approaches and outlooks as long as you aren't hurting anyone-- which is a large contention between herself and her uncle Hui Jin (who doesn't care who suffers as long as he can get business deals-- making him more cut-throat than his father). As long as nobod is hurt maliciously, she doesn't care one whit if someone smokes, or if they like to do things after school in the backseat of the car at the drive-in. To her, even if it isn't her thing, as long as it isn't violating some law, or human rights, then she's interested if it's new or really just glad it suits you fine.

Loyal
Amelia will not turn from people she cares for easily. Once a friend, you're stuck with her unless you royally screw up. She takes care of hers, and when called, she's there. Even if someone's moody, she'll be right there next to them, trying to keep them from mistakes they'll regret. Loyalty has earned her some friends and enraged others looking for the benefit of having her family's name associated with theirs, only to be shunned for abusing one of hers. She's not blindly loyal, like a dog, so much as it is earned, however, by earning her trust and proving you won't betray her. Commonly... Betrayal is more a contention of breaking a law, or hurting one of her family members or friends (Minus her uncle, she really doesn't like him because of how many people he's hurt to get his businesses on top).

Flaws:

Analytical
Amelia can look at a situation and pick out what she needs to do quickly. Far from the spoiled rich snob, she's rather careful thinking and planning, and she's managed to solve sudden situations on the fly. While not the brightest kid in class, or even the best at school, Amelia has had her intelligence cultivated through her upbringing to be able to analyses people as best able, and determine how well she can trust them. People do have words for it when they find out she's studying them, when they do... "Manipulative", but, she generally doesn't harm and she doesn't puppeteer people-- more gauge their behaviors and determine if they're someone who'll become a problem. And then she'll go from there. She helps people with new faces too.... Analyzing. Whee, fun, but a good thing.

No Sense of Personal Space
Amelia likes to make physical contact with others. It is a need, okay. However, she doesn't grasp not everyone wants to have someone touching them, and the girl simply doesn't know when NOT to stop leaning, hugging, or otherwise touching. It's just so foreign to her not to make physical contact when she's so used to it, especially since her father's very touchy-feely. This can bother people, especially people who like their personal space... A concept VERY freaking foreign to her, and she simply fails to grasp it at all.

Every Day Derp
Amelia is very good at being a high-society, well mannered firstborn for social getherings both to please the family and to work out business, and generally carry on the family business-- this was how she was groomed since day one. However, once you put her in a day to day social situation behond 'Hi', hello', how are you', 'please', and 'thank you' her social skills break down. She isn't stupid, or sheltered, so much as she has her father's basic failure to grasp how to talk to people about their daily lives. She tries to understand, but it's a difficult social construct to wrap her mind around, leading to her simply 'derping out' and sdaying something wrong not realizing it may offend, or, well, no realizing it may unintentionally offend someone. She won't go quiet, but in her case she genuinely doesn't 'get' it, possibly an effect of home schooling prior to Crystal Academy, or perhaps simply something she has no filter for.

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION

Eyes: Deep azurite blue, almond shaped.

Hair: Green -- a nice, rich darker green similar to a plant. Her bangs part in the middle of her forehead and fall down to her sollatbone, and the back falls close to the shoulder blades. She sometimes ties it back, but not always.

Face: Cute heart-shaped face with smaller ears, and a smile, normally. She's fairly plain. She has a good blend of Chinese and European features and light skin. She does wear some lip colour, usually purple. She has two piercings in each ear, and usually wears studs in one ear and a chain earring with ear clip and two chains or an ear wrap with studs in the other.

Clothes: When not in her school uniform, Amelia leans towards the gothic punk, cyberpunk, and plain flashy punky styles... Although she enjoys bright clashy colours, and normally wears bright blues, pinks, and teals.

Cyberpunk/Cybergoth Example (She WOULD NOT wear the wig however.)

Club Punk-ish/Gothic Punk-ish Dress Minus the long sleeve.

Family, for clarification.

Father: William Chorus
Amelia's dad, William is a soft spoken, gentle, kind man with a big heart and a bright smile. He's more than happy working in a robotics firm with his brother developing machines for car manufacturing, and while he doesn't need to work, he enjoys it and his large family immensely. Now that she's legal, they aren't as close as they used to be, due to conflicting personalities.

Father #2: Nathan Saito
Amelia's OTHER dad, as well as Ming Ju's biological father. Nate is the unmarried third partner to her parents and a... CREATIVE artist. Amelia respects Nate as her father, but isn't as close to him as her sisters can be. She does like his art though.

Mother: Zhen Ling "Moricorm" Chorus
Ri keeps the family tightly together and operates and oversees many of her 'Baba's' North American businesses in a Multi-Million Dollar Trading Empire, and her own businesses. Ri is clever, sleek, and proud of all five of her girls, and extremely fierce when angered. Amelia, like Ri, is the favoured daughter, and unlike Ri, Amelia hungers and thrives on Ri's affection, leading to one of her biggest emotional weak points ever. She NEEDS Ri's approval sometimes, or she breaks.

Uncle: Elliot Chorus
Elliot lives with the family, though he sometimes goes out on a date. All night. Elliot can't say no to a pretty face or keep it zipped, and William constantly insists he probably has nieces or nephews he doesn't know about, which Elliot denies. Elliot is energetic, cheerful, and bouncy with far less fear than William. He works with William at their firm, though he sees no issues bringing the kids in to watch.


Sister: Ming Ju Chorus
Ming Ju is Nathan's daughter with Ri, and shares her eldest sister's inheritance. Amelia sees Ming Ju as her equal and dotes on her a good deal, usually checking on her and seeing how she's doing. The two aren't besties, but they get along well.

Sister: Mallory Chorus
Amelia likes her little sister well enough and is oblivious to the resentment the eight year old has for her. She tries to give her love and attention awkwardly and while she won't spoil her sister, she likes taking her places. Secretly, she thinks Mal is a little spoiled... In all the wrong ways!

Sister: Miira Chorus
Miira, or Miri, is Mal's twin sister, named for their other grandmother. Miri is Mallory's sister, twin, and best friend. Amelia is a little surprised Miri takes so much after their father, and hopes the youngling comes out of her shell someday.

Sister: Kabi Chorus
Amelia's two year old sister. Amelia likes Kabi, but really wishes her parents would stop popping siblings for her. She's not sure what she thinks of her beyond 'cute' and counts her blessings for living in a dorm. Away from Kabi.

Servant: Jessica "Ithil" Shepard
Ri's servant, Ithil is an albino like Mal and Ri. Ithil is faithful to the family, and serves as Miri and Mal's teacher at home, tending to Ri, and is almost always... Present. Amelia is fond of Ithil and trusts her, leading to Amelia hiring Maki.

Servant: Maki Inoue
Another family servant, Maki assists Amelia in her daily chores. A calm man whom immigrated from Japan as an infant, Maki seems to watch others. He seems to serve more security porpuses than note, and is often there quickly if anyone of the family comes into some kind of trouble and calls home.

Not a problem, I have no issue swatching to one peice honestly.

Ha, I love places like Ise m'self. :> But yeah, I don't mind swapping to singular, I'll go tweak it now, save everyone a migraine. :>

Hi Nova, Kao here to do your critique. Sorry it took a bit, life's a little hectic right now as my job prepares for inventory. So sorry again!

Civilian Profile:

Hobbies-

Her cars hobby feels singular and more to just her car, but you have it a plural. If it's just her cars that fine. I suggest changing the hobby title to reflect that. If it's cars in general that I think a little expansion is in order. Can she he found constantly under the hood of a car inspecting things. Does she go to car shows or car conventions? Does she have more than one car, but just favors the one? Make it more social and a little more broad.

For robots I would say a small bit of expansion, like does she go to robot show, or watch them. Like the events where robots fights. Robot Conventions? Or maybe she has like a calendar of when robot movies come out and she like has to go see them? Opening Night?

Exploring looks fine to me and Myth Busting as well, thought does she watch Myth Busters, just curious cause I really like the show XDD

Tae Kwon Do looks fine, but does she practice at a dojo or center? And I'm curious as to her level.


Virtues -

Her spoiled sweet virtue reads more like just plain generous. I'd imagine someone who is spoiled sweet as more being well behaved, but in bribery terms. Like as long as they are kept in the goods they are good or well behaved. Maybe they are generous, but if someone else is getting it, they have to have it too. Like if a spoiled sweet child went to the store to get their friends birthday present they would also want to have everything they though their friend just absolutely needed. I don't know, it just creates a bit of a conundrum in my mind.

Analytical reads like a flaw currently. It might benefit her to be this way, but I cannot see how it would make another person like her as well. It seems like it would make other's dislike her or even be somewhat distrustful of her. Hopefully I'm making sense here. Also you description goes from more thinking on her feet to more something drawn out so I'm a little confused exactly what you are going for.

Loyal starts to read a little flawish at the end there and I do not really think the last sentence is needed. I wonder what royally screw up means exactly? What does she consider a royal screw up? Like her friend caused them to spend an afternoon in jail waiting for parental pick up, screwed up? You say her loyalty has an extent but not what that extent is.

Flaws -

What I get from the mother's starling flaw is that she has Draco Malfoy syndrome more that devoted to her mother. She seems very dependent on her family name, going to 'mommy' when someone doesn't do what she wants. I don't imagine this would work quite how you picture and conflicts directly with her spoiled sweet virtue in that it seems like her mother is encourage this awful and spoiled behavior.

Also her being an heir, imagine her mother would be encouraging her to solve her own problems. I don't see her parents handing over their company in the future to someone who is constantly running to them with a problem.

Personal Space reads fine. How does she react to someone giving her death glares, pushing her off or trying to run from her lack of understanding of personal space.

Fickle read well, but, clashes with analytic, i think. I don't imagine at someone that is analytic is going to be constantly changing their minds, being ones to break things down, take them apart to process and be logical about things.

Small note - her profile seems to focus pretty centrally on how rich she is and how much money she has, and her family name and it would be nice to see a bit of branching away from that idea in her person, I think.

Powered Side:

I like her outfit and it seems to follow Polaris's guidelines.

Having a pair of gloves a weapon is fine. They are two like objects. I'd imagine to make the magic work though she would always need to use both, but I could be wrong.

For her magic I'm worried about its mechanics because basically you need a wall to make it work? And she has to be touching it. I think it might be better if her magic worked on the ground, giving a small magnetic pull to make it hard to knock allies off there feet possibly? It just seems like something you wouldn't be able to play very often and somewhat lacking benefit. Senshi and knights for the most part wouldn't have much trouble running across a while, they roof jump regularly. Does that makes sense.

Quote me when you are ready for me to give a second look over! Aim (Shizu6616) or pm me if you have any questions.

Hey dearie, sorry for the wait summer is really busy for me with just everything. She is closer just a few more concerns.

Civilian:

Hobbies looking good but her car hobby still has a few plurals so that needs fixing and the first part of the first sentence about RiRi really isn't needed.

Virtues:

Loyal and open minded look good. While her generosity usually involves money I would like to see how her generosity extends outside of that to make it a more well rounded virtue and less something that can be seen as flaunty and annoying. Does she give people rides if there like stranded downtown at like 3am? Does she volunteer her time? Is she active in the community? Stuff like that which can be both monetary with charity and use time if she volunteers.

Flaws:

Everyday deep and no sense of personal space look good to me but analytical could use some tweaking. It reads more like a virtue now and I don't think you changed it that much so it could be I misread something on the first read through. It is also a bit clashy. At the beginning you talk about it applying to situations but towards the end it seems more like it just applies to people. Also you say the look she has is manipulative and you can play on that in the flaw because being looked at in such a manner is unnerving in itself and can cause potential the recipient to shy away. Also you say she doesn't puppeteer people and I'm guess ing that means she doesn't try to manipulate them, but might she? She is, again going back to her up bringing and try to tie everything together, being groomed so to take over the family business. Being manipulated is very off putting if/when you realize it happening, so thats something you could potentially play with. And you could even possibly show how teaching someone else to do it off putting. Others might not want to be around her knowing for sure she is doing this or even bug her to do it for the posing a whole other problem in itself. Does she ever get her analysis of a person wrong and possibly miss out on something special.

Powered:

For the powered I am concerned that her attacks to closely resemble Sailor Polaris' basic and super attack which is something I believe we would like to avoid. Alternatively there also seems to be a lot going on with the attack and I'm not entire sure exactly what it is suppose to do.

I have some ideas that might help, same concept she touches or grabs onto a piece of metal in area and creates a magnetic field within 6-8 ft of her but instead of items flying toward the item she magnetizes, what it it just pushed all metal in the field upwards, repelled. Trying to pull the weapon down against the magnetism would be very hard and it could have a time frame of about 30 to 45 seconds. For the knight the magic could also magnetize people in the field make it hard for them to move, walking, running and jump would take serious effort if they could do it at all. Maybe the range could increase a little.

So a lot same basic concepts only the magic works a little different.