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 Posted: Mon May 27, 2013 6:05 pm
Molly happened to be trailing down the hall after her assigned morning duty, and was humming along minding her own business like usual…until something not so usual happened. The sound of her boot hitting what sounded like paper drew her attention to the ground, and Molly blinked as she looked down. Then her face exploded red. BAM.
She had stepped on a magazine…but not just any magazine…a magazine with a well endowed Asian woman on it. A naked Asian woman.
Molly’s eyes were as wide as saucers and she quickly snatched up the magazine, pressing the offending cover to her bosom. What if Gale happened to be walking along and saw this? He was too young!
To make matters worse…just up ahead…there were more.
Wanting to protect the innocence of others, Molly, still red faced, was almost falling over herself as she went down the hall, collecting what happened to be a trail of scandalous material. She followed the trail down until she reached an office, and almost went right into it until she remembered her manners. It was rude to just walk into someone’s office without knocking!
That’s why Molly stopped in the door way, permanently red, and cradling a stack of porn mags to her chest. She knocked on the door way, her voice squeaking terribly.
“E-excuse me…!” She cried.
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Posted: Mon May 27, 2013 11:29 pm
If Molly had been paying attention to the door, she might have noticed it said a bunch of useful hazard and caution signs such as "Keep out!" and "Mark's Lair of Doom!" and maybe "No Sith Lords invited I mean it!" Even if she hadn't noticed the door it was hard not to notice the room of well-
-If one squinted it sort of looked like a computer lab had permanently fused with a pigsty of beer bottles, comic books, action figures, and questionable material lying haphazardly everywhere including several glowing Runic items that were in various states of incubation. On top of one computer was a lava lamp, stacked next to another pile of traditional Playboys - while it was all fine and dandy to find the stuff online, one could not beat the slick printed feel of paper from time to time - stacked next to a pile of comic books of various editions and finally what looked like a demented seismograph currently spewing out odd scribbles.
"-And I didn't need to be like, saved okay I was totally handling it," Said the table, or a pair of pilot goggles floating just above the table, bobbing vicariously, "Did you even see the new gm applications I told you, I don't do the brony thing, if I see someone else who thinks they are Thor Fluttershy so god help me I will- can I help you?"
And suddenly an extremely bushy head and scruffy hobo-looking face was staring (mostly buried by table and junk) right at Molly.
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Posted: Tue May 28, 2013 9:39 am
Molly, bless her heart, did not see the signs, and also absolutely had no idea who she was about to deal with. That’s what happened when your head was filled with butterflies. You didn’t know. What she did know though, was that there were problems, and it wasn’t just the stack of porn mags she was holding onto it. It was this office. It was worse than Otto and Dakota’s room combined times four! So many fire hazards. Not to mention more scandalous material everywhere…and… was that a lava lamp? Molly cringed. Those things could explode! The mist trainee’s fingers twitched with the urge to clean and straighten…and she almost missed the person addressing her…if…he didn’t look more bed head than Otto. Oh gosh. Molly was on the verge of a heart attack, and she didn’t know what to address first. The porn, the mess of a room, the fire hazards, or the bed headed appearance of the hunter talking to her. “Um…” Her voice cracked, and she hesitated. “… Did you brush your hair this morning, mister?” Yep…Mothering urges kicked in.
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Posted: Tue May 28, 2013 10:25 am
"Hang on," Mark told the phone, shifting focus, "I think I got a substitute."
Ignoring Molly's question entirely, the Death assistant finally raised himself above the table onto his seat, revealing himself in all his scruffy and odorous glory. He steepled his hands together. "Yes, welcome to my lair of doom and awesomeness. Tell me, oh bountiful one, are you familiar with the ways of the private roleplay?"
Molly was treated with the smoulder. As Mark leaned over, several contents fell off the desk haphazardly. A small fire might have started from the collision of beer bottles with one of the Runic item incubation sets, though the occupant of the room didn't seem to notice it yet, or the fact that the general vicinity of his foot was smoking.
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Posted: Tue May 28, 2013 10:39 am
Molly didn’t think the whole ‘substitute’ thing applied to her, so she ignored it, thought the look of loss and confusion was clearly written on her red face when asked about private role plays. She was rather distracted though…because well…Mark was dirty. So dirty. He needed a bath and a serious brushing. The canon cats, all 99 of them, were cleaner than he was she thought. “P-private role play…ah…” She swallowed nervously, at a loss as to how to answer and what that was exactly. She didn’t see anything about it in the Deus Ex guide books…Except she didn’t have to think about it too hard as Mark pushed some stuff off of his desk, and Molly yelped as the stuff clattered to the floor and then… Smoke. “OH NO!” Molly cried, her freckled face going horrified, and just like any good, sane person would do…she rushed into the office to help put out the fire… By throwing the stack of porn mags she had collected on Mark’s foot. Clearly that would suffocate the fire, right? Right.
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Posted: Tue May 28, 2013 4:05 pm
"No need to be shy," Mark elaborated, "We can make it really private, like, just you and me and-"
- Unfortunately he never got to finish that sentence as Molly pretty much shouted really loud and threw his priceless collection of magazines on the ground. Having not noticed the fire, the Death assistant was pretty much ninety-nine percent confused and one-percent a little indignant at his babies being treated that way. It wasn't until there was a loud crackle of the flames feeding on paper product that his extremely slow sense of survivability (but incidentally, extremely high resilience) finally snapped into awareness as he stared at his foot. That was smoking.
And the floor under him that was on fire.
"Panic button!" Mark suddenly screamed, managing to flail, hit his head against a side cabinet, flail some more, and then trip over his own pants while attempting to stomp the flames out (causing them to spread even more). "Press the emergency sprinklers! Help! Abort! Escape! Undo!"
He did nothing to actually contribute to the pressing of said emergency panic button sprinklers as papers and random items flew everywhere in chaos. It was kind of like being trapped in a blender that had somehow caught on fire.
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Posted: Tue May 28, 2013 4:32 pm
Mark wasn’t helping…and well…Molly meant well…but she wasn’t really helping either. The mist trainee was just plain horrified and panicked now as she stared at the fire underneath the table. She was cupping her cheeks, her knuckles white as Mark flailed somewhere in the background about emergency buttons and sprinklers and what not…but she still didn’t garner enough common sense to go look that or ask as Mark also helped to spread the fire…no…she was still trying to help… She meant well, she really did. Molly undid her coat as fast as she could, clumsily, and whipped it off, where she then proceeded to try beating down the flames with it. This was why she wasn’t the brightest crayon in the box. Bless her heart. “…P-press the button!” She did manage to cry.
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Posted: Wed May 29, 2013 12:05 am
This did nothing for the chemical flames as they practically tore hungrily into Molly's coat and then proceeded to spread across the table.
"Not my babies!" Mark was pretty much shrieking at this point, doing the extremely delicate and precise task of shoving all his electronics as far away from the flames as possible. He attempted to flag Molly. "Wait-wait! Stop! Use-use this!"
And then from seemingly nowhere, Mark pulled out a fire extinguisher and handed it to the Mist trainee because god knows, he lacked opposable thumbs or something to use the item with. Maybe half a brain. And the other half. Sometimes, some people just had half a moment of genius.
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Posted: Wed May 29, 2013 5:53 am
Molly yelped as her coat more or less went up in flames, and as soon as the flames licked her fingers, she dropped what was left of the material onto the now flaming table top. Oh no…oh no no no no! Her coat! Granted, she hadn’t destroyed as many as the others who always went on those dangerous missions, but still! Her coat! Thus Molly proceeded to do something that resembled a ‘potty dance’ next to the flaming table, cupping her cheeks with her eyes as wide as dinner plates. What should she do now!? Luckily Mark flagged her down at a good time, and Molly all but tore the fire extinguisher out of Mark’s hands and proceeded to pull the pin and then let it rip onto the mass of the fire. Thank goodness for being a volunteer firefighter pre-Deus.
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Posted: Wed May 29, 2013 11:04 am
Mark was sort of huddled in a fetal position, cringing slightly waiting for explosions before the room was doused in some heavy duty foam. It sort of looked like it was snowing extremely questionable snow that had somehow piled on top of a slightly charred floor, desks, and thankfully, only half a computer. Bits and pieces of paper, action figures, and porn magazines peered out from the melange of the Winter Wonderland.
Finally, he uncurled his arms, slightly, blinking owlishly. "It-it worked?" He moved one foot experimentally. "It worked! I am a genius!" Mark patted Molly on the back with his grubby hand, forgetting entirely why she was even here. "I knew I could count on you, trustworthy padawan. Your brave deeds shall be remembered." Upon realizing there was a lot of - ahem - sticky stuff on his hand, he proceeded to wipe it on Molly's Not Coated (since it had burned up) back.
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Posted: Wed May 29, 2013 11:46 am
Molly didn’t stop until that fire extinguisher was empty, and once it was, she was left to survey the…even more or a mess of a room. Wow…and to think that only five minutes before this, it actually looked better! Molly was still pretty horrified, holding the fire extinguisher in her grasp with her mouth open and hazel eyes darting around. She yelped and cringed as she felt a hand on her back, and resisted the urge to shudder. Her poor turtle neck… “…Uh…th-thank you?” She replied uncertainly. Very uncertainly, and for the moment well, she had forgotten why she was even in here too…and the reason she had stepped in here in the first place had gone up in flames. Literally. Fire hazards…messes…he needed his hair brushed…… Oh…that being said… Molly wiped one hand across the mess of foam, and then proceeded to slick down Mark’s unruly hair with it. Much better. Oh, that reminded her. “E-excuse me, mister!” She finally found something to worry about. “But this room needs to be cleaned!”
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Posted: Wed May 29, 2013 12:30 pm
The effort of actually gelling back his hair with fire extinguisher foam did nothing to lessen the effect of his extreme nerdiness. He looked slightly less majestic than a drowned rat as he sort of just gaped at Molly.
Still wading in the mess, the Death assistant started with a very readable expression of confusion, then shock, then a slightly miffed frown. "I have this entirely under control." He began to pick random items, action figures, magazines, beer bottles, bits of glowing runes from the mess of foam. "This room doesn't need to be clean, it is chaotic organization. If a single item goes out of place, you will ruin the natural order and like, fabric of reality in this room, god."
This somehow did not justify the extinguished fire or the foam.
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Posted: Wed May 29, 2013 12:45 pm
Molly thought it was a drastic improvement than earlier…even if he did kind of look like a sleazy car’s salesman now. Mark had the perfect attitude…the perfect attitude for Molly to get a small hold on her jello of a back bone. She sported her ‘unimpressed mother’ face, and tsked. “I think if this room was clean, young man, than you wouldn’t have fires happening! So let’s get to cleaning!” That being said, Molly started to collect some of the nearby magazines…and then she remembered why she was even here in the first place. She gasped loudly, her face going red once again as she turned back to Mark, holding an issue of…raunchy ranch rowdies or whatever. Scandalous. “Excuse me!” She squeaked. “You shouldn’t have this just…laying around! We have sensitive young souls here, okay? Like Gale! He doesn’t need to be seeing these things, alright? We need to put these out of sight!” Sorry Gale.
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Posted: Thu May 30, 2013 1:43 am
"Okay, okay!" Shoulders hunched, with a miffed look, he began pulling pieces of action figures and papers from the floor, doing a very inefficient job of moving piles of one thing into piles of another thing. Sadly this did nothing to actually clean his room.
Mark paused when he heard Gale's name. "Oh, you mean mini-me? Dude, don't underestimate those, he's a man bro. We're manly men. We totally did that together." Yeah Molly. That. Mark wiggled his eyebrows. Hint hint. Nudge nudge. "I even gave him my first one."
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Posted: Fri May 31, 2013 7:25 pm
Molly had a very motherly look of disappoint as Mark just shuffled stuff from one pile to another. Mark, she took care of a younger sibling once, she was onto you. Molly just stared at Mark as if he had suddenly contracted chicken pox, rather perplexed. What was… that? No…no…on second thought, she didn’t want to know. Ignorance was bliss. The mist trainee made a pained face, and in face just continued to pick up more porn mags until she had a good pile. “Young man.” She started, trying the best to use her most stern tone…which was shaky and squeaky at best. “You will not be getting…these back until you make an honest effort to clean your room!”
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