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 Posted: Mon May 20, 2013 9:55 pm
The talk last night with Alois wouldn't help in the long run, it hadn't helped him in the short term. He'd managed to get back to sleep but with how early he'd had to wake up it seemed he would be going another day with only the bare minimum. How he was managing might be a mystery to some but his favorite cafe knew just how he was surviving. The amount of trips he showed up there...they might as well just reserve a parking space at the curb for him, right in front of their door.
This morning, considering the time, he didn't have the gift of caffeine running through his veins as he left his house. Keys in his pocket as well as his cell phone. He'd left a note for Alois letting him know that he'd left, there was no point in rousing the annoying German and dealing with him. He'd asked him to feed Cadha if he wasn't come by nine, just in case he didn't survive this. He didn't know what to expect and so wanted to at least ensure the little terrier would be fed and taken care of.
With things handled he had left and taken a short walk down the block so he could duck into a small alley between two town houses, trash cans belonging to the owners of both townhouses lining the alley way, and powered up before teleporting down into the Citadel. The walk down to the Rift seemed to take forever, and maybe ti did? All he knew was how ill he felt. His hands were stuffed into his pockets to hide their shaking, though he was fairly sure it would be hard to notice how nervous he was. Did the dark circles, and eyelids, stand out too much? Should he have found some obscenely girly way to cover them up? Brushing the thought away he tried to focus himself, tried to calm himself, as he made the walk toward the General Queen's location. He knew the general area to find him, having not been in that area of the Rift before, and so as he entered the Rift he set his course in that direction.
The whole walk there his stomach knotted, twisted, and left him feeling ill and hollow. The two feelings did nothing for his case of the shakes nor for how pale he was. Already fair skinned, he couldn't tan if he tried, he was paler - yes it was possible for him to be paler than normal. What was going to happen? Would he be out right killed? Would there be something worse than death waiting for him? He almost wanted to turn and flee to return home. Maybe to flee the country; throw things into a suit case and book a flight for today and go to Europe or somewhere more remote. But the notion was just...ludicrous. Would he really be able to escape so easily? He thought not. It would just go to making his situation that much worse, and he didn't need to make it worse than it already was.
No, he couldn't escape whatever was in store for him, he wouldn't think this was fate. He wouldn't let himself believe in fate, he wouldn't believe that everything was predetermined. That very idea, the very notion, bothered him and rubbed him the wrong way. Maybe it was the sheer lack of power that would mean he had? Yes, that was why it bothered him so much. And that was another reason he disliked this so much. This was something he couldn't escape or change. He couldn't avoid this nor could he turn back the hands of time and undo the events which had lead up to this. This was as inescapable as fate, which he would never be convinced existed.
The feel of the General Queen, off in the short distance, only added to the rising feel of sickness which twisted and churned within him. It took everything in his tired body to keep himself from being sick right there in the Rift, even as he felt the tell tale clenching of his stomach. He held it in by sheer force of will - he would not be ill here! It simply wasn't acceptable. When he got home, if he got home, and the panic and rush of adrenalin left him he'd permit his body it's relief. But not now. Now he had a meeting to get to. Pulling himself together, which included mental berating, he made it to the barracks that the Special ops officers called home.
Finding the General Queen's office was easy enough and he stood there for a moment as he made sure he wouldn't fall apart, he couldn't allow it. Finally he pulled his right hand from his pocket and raised it to the office door. Rapping gently he didn't speak, did he need to? She didn't likely have any other appointments, if she had he was sure she'd have cleared her schedule for this. It wasn't that he thought himself that important but rather the situation. Right now he wasn't sure what he thought of himself aside from having been the producer of a monster. So he stood silent, his hand slowly lowering to his side, as he waited for permission to enter.
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Posted: Mon May 20, 2013 10:03 pm
"Come," Howlite's neutral tone called - not bored, not angry, but completely indifferent. Though Benitoite wouldn't know it, it was probably far better that she handle his punishment than the enraged Zinkenite, his direct superior who knew Bazzite and was so close to the situation. Howlite was generally impartial, and particularly so today.
As he entered, she looked over him for several minutes, dark eyes cool in her analysis. The boots, the heavy coat, the layers. "That won't do," she observed, shifting from behind her desk and picking up a clipboard. She didn't elaborate on her conclusion.
"Tell me about your life, General." It may not have been what he'd expected, but Howlite rarely did anything without a purpose.
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Posted: Mon May 20, 2013 10:12 pm
One last moment was taken to try and assemble some sort of mask, he needed to act right now more than any other time in his life. He had to hide whatever cracks, and canyons, that had taken up residence upon his calm and cool facade. He couldn't let his emotions and feelings play out so openly, even if he knew he couldn't fully mask them. He could at least temper them. Taking a deep breath, which he hoped couldn't be heard as it sounded impossibly loud to himself, and opened the door slowly.
He didn't know just how upset his own superior was so didn't know he was lucky, if he had a clue he might not be as nervous and scared as he was. He was sure his heart beat was similar to a rabbits, or maybe a hummingbirds. It felt fast - far too fast.
Standing there, the door falling closed behind him, he didn't move. He simply stood there as he tried to lock his joints and keep his shuddering to a bare minimum, he really was putting all his effort into controlling himself. So he was startled by her words. What wouldn't do? She had been looking at him...but what did the words mean?
"About my life...?" He knew he sounded stupid right now and yet he didn't care, he couldn't find it within himself to care. He wasn't expecting this, he was expecting shouting, scolding, possibly death, pain certainly. But not someone asking about his life. What did it matter? "Can I ask what in specific you want to know about my life?" If she wanted his whole life story it would take along time, but anyone's would, so in order to narrow it down he asked this question. What was it she wanted to know about him? There had to be something she was looking for, some detail or answer to something. Some crumb of information. And he'd provide it but his life...there was a lot to tell.
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Posted: Mon May 20, 2013 10:26 pm
"Whatever you think is pertinent, General." Her response was dry, as if Benitoite had missed the point of the exercise, which, to be fair, made sense, due to his exhaustion. "I don't know who you are." She tapped her pen against the clipboard, brows raised as she looked to him for a response.
Howlite wasn't one to just give a standard list of punishments. The goal here was success. They were all a team, no matter the branch, and she disliked seeing any officer fail. Benitoite had failed - and getting to know him would tell her why, and how he could be put back on the path of excellence.
Sure, there were Zinkenite's notes and other reports, but hearing it from him would be much more illuminating.
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Posted: Mon May 20, 2013 10:46 pm
This really wasn't going like he planned. He didn't plan on having any reason to talk, or possibly even being allowed to do so. And yet he was being asked about himself, and to say whatever he thought was important. How much further from his imagination would this meeting get?
She didn't know him...how few members did? He was friendly enough, at least he thought so, and took the time to meet others as a civilian. Some saw and knew who he was. But no...she didn't know who he was, of course not. He was sure they knew the basics but what did that consist of?
A moment was taken to think before he decided to start with some basics and hen branch out to less basic things. "At present I'm still in high school - I graduate this year. I paint and garden in my spare time." What little of that he had. It seemed everything else ate away at his spare time. "I intend to start DCU for a degree in art and teaching." As it was the only thing he could think of, and it gave more of a reason to continue painting, and allowed for more time to be spent on it.
"I am an only child and grew up in a fairly upper class family. My mother is a business attorney and my father a former school psychologist. He now does computer programming." Couldn't handle all the problems of his students. It had taken it's toll on him. He didn't mention why he'd changed jobs, it wasn't important. But he had heard being an only child was important to know, and he supposed it was.
How much did he need, or wish, to tell? What was important and what was frivolous? Perhaps he should just continue and let her decide? "Being that my mother has some place in society I was brought with my parents to various functions and events as I grew up. I guess one could say I've had a bit of a silver spoon upbringing." If one saw his closet, and his room, they might say more than a bit f a silver spoon upbringing. But he didn't live like Lily, or others, so it was only a bit of that life.
"I went to public school of my own choice. I didn't want to be parted from my mothers green house, which she gave me control over when I was younger, and Lily - the only friend I had - attended Meadow view." So he had turned down his parents suggestion of Azure Valley. The idea of dorm rooms and being away from the green house and not attending the same school as Lily being the only deciding factors, nothing else had mattered to him. Those two things had been the most important things to him at that age, and they were still among the most important things to him. Even as he spoke slate eyes lite up as a bit of the tiredness seemed to be replaced with a passion.
"I am...loyal." Though maybe some would doubt it, given recent events, "And perhaps too emotion when it comes to those I consider close to me. I have, more than once, found myself in trouble due to my honesty." Telling his mother a dress made her look fat, and was hideous, was not a smart idea. He'd learned that the hard way, he'd also learned to get a burn phone and hide it under his bed. It was his emotions which ad caused this whole mess though, his loyalty as well. They had both played a huge factor in this conundrum.
"Mature for my age...at least that's what others seem to believe. I'd prefer to consider myself simply above others my age." And not one to give into the behaviors of others his age. Arrogant would also be a word to describe the ash blond. But he was trying to curb that.
And finally he fell silent and hoped the answer was good enough, helped, and was what the General Queen wanted. Maybe he had gotten lost when answering, telling her about his life, but she had asked. She wanted to know him - right? He didn't think telling her that he'd avoided friendships for years, wanting only to be Lily's friend, was important. There were many things he'd left out but for everything he'd left out he'd said something. Did it matter though that he painted, that he had a passion for gardening? Did it even matter what he planned to do in college? He felt like he'd babbled and said nothing important to the issue at hand. But maybe she would see differently?
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Posted: Mon May 20, 2013 11:11 pm
The basics she had known. His dossier spoke of his family and education, even his hobbies and closest friend. She listened to him impassively, without interrupting, though she found two things particularly interesting.
I'd prefer to consider myself simply above others my age.
General Benitoite had also neglected to mention anything about his activities within the Negaverse, which, for someone as loyal as he claimed to be, should have played a large role in his life.
She kept her observations to herself, quietly writing on the clipboard before speaking. Prompting him further. "Describe your daily schedule. Do you work, General?"
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Posted: Mon May 20, 2013 11:26 pm
He had thought to mention what he'd done as an officer but he figured that known, so had dismissed it. He had figured less was known about his civilian side. His Negaverse side he figured was well documented and seen in the various skirmishes where a large number of officers were gathered, the ambush and surrounding.
"I get up early for a morning run before returning home to feed the dog and have breakfast. A shower and I'm off to school. After school I have work till around dinner time." So he only got three hours of work in each week day, it didn't do much for earning money really.
"After work I return home to have dinner, which I do cook, and do homework. Perhaps I rush through it but it does get done, I don't have much time to properly assign to it. From there I'll go out to patrol." And while he hadn't spoken of his duties before he did now, feeling now was the time to mention what he did as she wanted to know his schedule. It fit in right now to talk about duties and what he did.
"My patrols are not contained to any one particular area, a lesson I was thought when still a Lieutenant - do not be predictable." And one he took to heart. He did not want to have senshi knowing he could always be found in one particular area, it wasn't good for that to happen. "I keep on the look out for any lower ranked agents who may need assistance, whether it be with a civilian or a senshi or knight. If nothing arises, which on most nights nothing does, I keep on the look out for senshi and knights and in most cases will engage them in conversation or in combat - depending on how they react." And his own mood at the time.
"At present I have a new Lieutenant who has moved in with me, due to family issues I do not know about nor feel my right to discuss. So I am learning to deal with him, and our differences, and training him." Biting his lip he again fell silent. What would she think of him having a Lieutenant under him currently, of him training someone? Would it looked down on? That he shouldn't be training anyone? After all his own superior had said just last night that he couldn't be trusted with their Captains. That had...stung.
Shifting his weight he raised a gloved hand to move his short bangs from his face. Tucking the strands behind his ear he waited for Howlite to respond. He did have a fairly busy life..but he supposed when he patrolled he could do something else...or maybe get up earlier in the morning.
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Posted: Mon May 20, 2013 11:41 pm
Howlite's brow raised.
He was becoming more interesting by the second. "You should know about them." If they affected this lieutenant, then his general should know exactly what made him tick. Knowing your officers was the best way to be sure of them, and they of you.
"I'm going to tell you what I think." She leaned against her desk, and set her clipboard aside, tone blunt, but not harsh. "You lack discipline." Her arms crossed, "You're arrogant, and much younger than you think." Her head tilted. "But you are loyal," she affirmed, "and your mistakes shouldn't define your future."
"I'd like to help you."
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Posted: Mon May 20, 2013 11:53 pm
"I eventually will. Right now he and I do not get along as well as I'd like if I'm going to ask about his personal life. I do know he is a recent transplant from Germany, his accent is thick." Thankfully he knew English. it would have been a disaster had he corrupted someone who spoke no English. He wouldn't have had a clue who to go to about that. "It is unwise, I feel, to poke and prod him for information at the moment. I don't wish for him to come to detest or dislike me." No, he needed to work on things with Alois, the biggest was earning his respect. But also to bring peace to his home again.
As she gave her report, or rather her opinion, he nodded when she mentioned arrogant. He knew that, he wouldn't deny it either. He was honest, including with himself, and accepted that he was an arrogant person. But...younger than he thought? Was he...in some ways he lacked experience and maturity....was that the reason for that comment? Was that the flaw if it was a flaw?
"I...thank you." She wasn't going to bring his life to an end so how could he not thank her? He had worried himself to the point of nearly being ill over that. But she wasn't just letting him live but speaking of his mistakes, and it was a big one, not defining his future...so could he eventually erase the mistake? Or maybe not erase it, it couldn't be erased, but scratched out? So it was still there but not seen or visible.
"What is your plan?" He asked, he did need to know so he could adjust his schedule to accommodate things. He liked to be organized and so he needed to fit whatever she had in mind into his life. While he didn't ask it he really did wish to know how he was younger than he thought, he wanted to know so he could fix it. He felt a need to better himself and to fix this...this issue. He was sure discipline would be addressed by the General Queen. But the other thing might not be.
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Posted: Tue May 21, 2013 12:17 am
Howlite unclipped a piece of paper from the board and handed it to him, dark eyes lingering on his face as he read over it. It was a schedule, or at least, a bullet point list. It was very basic.
5AM - WORK OUT
7AM - SCHOOL
4PM - TRAINING
7PM - PERSONAL TIME
Fortunately for Benitoite, the General-King elaborated.
"We will run together until I say otherwise. I'll meet you outside your house in the morning and we will condition. You can expect sprints, stairs, push-ups, crunches, lunges, and other physical feats to strengthen your mind and endurance.
"Then you'll return home for your dog and your breakfast, and head to school. You have goals for your future, so attend to them and pay attention to your classes.
"You'll need to step away from your job and begin reporting to me in the afternoons. For the first hour, you'll learn. You'll review strategies of our enemies and the practices of the various branches. You'll study history. You'll gather the tools to become an expert for your officers. The second two hours will be spent sparring with my officers. You will lose often and it will hurt your body and pride, but soon you'll be stronger."
She almost smiled, considering his small frame, then continued. "The rest of the evening is yours to fit in your homework, socializing, and patrol."
"Am I understood?"
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Posted: Tue May 21, 2013 12:34 am
Looking it over he took a moment to nod his head. He'd have to cut his work hours a bit maybe half an hour or forty-five minutes, to give himself time to get home, but he'd manage it. At least he wouldn't have to get up earlier than he already did. In fact, the time was the same tie he woke up. So that part worked out. Dinner would be during the personal time but that he could manage, so it would be a bit later than usual. He'd just manage to get in some sort of energy drink or something between the end of school and the start of his personal time.
"O-of course...running is fine." Running was normal, though he'd never gone running with someone. The rest...he'd never actually done. He'd never cared much for working out or even participating in gym, he managed to to do the bare minimum of what was required. He wasn't into sports, sweating, and the working out and leaving his limbs feeling weighed down and sore. Running at first had been similarly disliked but he'd grown used to it since joining the Negaverse. Had he not joined he'd never have taken up morning runs, he'd have had no reason to.
"By step away to you mean get off earlier or will I be putting in my notification?" He questioned, wanting to be sure of how she meant this. He would certainly be giving up art club, his usual excuse for painting what he wanted to, and somehow fit it in during his own personal time.
"I've already suffered broken bones in fights. I don't mind the pain of injuries. It's the strain on muscles I dislike." He might as well be honest here and let her know that injuries didn't bother him all that much. He'd even gotten over the idea of scars, he'd sort of had to though after the one he'd attained via falling through a glass window. Injured pride was something he disliked, she had been right in calling him arrogant. And often being beaten was not something which pleased him, but he supposed he wasn't supposed to be pleased with all of this. The fact any of it pleased him, or settled well with him, was just sheer luck.
So tonight was his...tomorrow morning it would all change. He had mixed feelings but at least this had gone well, better than he'd thought. "Who will be conducting the studying, or supervising? As I assume someone will decide on the material and assure I am in fact studying. Or will it be assumed I am doing as I should be and I'll be left to do this on my own? And how will it be decided who I will be sparing with? Will it be determined by you, them, or will I be seeking out members of your division and asking them myself? I ask so I know everything about these expectations."
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Posted: Tue May 21, 2013 12:46 am
He talked a bit too much for her tastes, but she supposed it was better than being secretive.
Howlite blinked at him blandly while he continued on, before putting up a hand to halt anything further. Her tone was somewhat amused, "Just show up." Everything else would be provided. The General-King wasn't in the habit of saying what she didn't need to.
"As for your job - That's not my concern. Do what you see fit." As long as he kept to the schedule, the blonde couldn't care less. When he arrived in the training room each day, he would fit his materials before him, and no one there to babysit him. His sparring would be with SpecOps Officers of various rank and combat styles, and Howlite would observe - or interfere - as she saw fit. They would be waiting for him after his private study. During their morning runs, she would grill him on his studies while testing his body.
"You're dismissed, General. I would hate for you to be late to class."
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Posted: Tue May 21, 2013 12:59 am
Halted in his words he had quieted and let her speak. Nodding as he needed to. So a lot of this was in his hands. He would need to decide what to do about work. He'd have to figure that out and soon. He'd make it work for a while before deciding what would happen in that area, would he be able to manage it or would he have to cease working for now. At least he had a fair amount of freedom, he liked that. He didn't think he could handle being babysat and treated like some untrustworthy time bomb waiting to go off. That would just hurt emotionally in a way he couldn't handle right now.
He had no illusions about how hard this would be. But at least it was halfway agreeable with him, and it was certainly better than he'd expected. So when she dismissed him he nodded his head.
"Of course. Have a good day as well General King." And he did take his leave as he hurried off to an area he could teleport out from. He had school to prepare for, an impatient dog to feed, and other things to do.
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