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 Posted: Mon May 20, 2013 3:08 pm
((Note: Quick self RP to get things settled before the plot starts))  Pain. Despair. Emptiness. Although the meaning of these words are known, it is difficult to understand the power behind them unless one has been through the bottom-most pit of life.
Pain. Not so much in the physical sense, but the pain of the heart. This kind of pain is watching families all around you, daily, happily enjoying themselves. You wish desperately you could have that feeling for yourself - after trying for so long, and still no success. A family. The only thing in life that really seems to make any real meaning to who you are and who you want to be, and yet, it cannot be. There are creatures much, much younger than you who have happy little accidents all the time, but there is nothing left for you.
Despair. You had a chance to be a mother once, in all honesty. But that chance blew up in your face. She was your very own 'happy little accident', but that didn't last as long as you wished. It was hard, being a mother...harder than you thought...and perhaps...perhaps you weren't ready. So yes, you mess up. You mess up so badly that she ends up running away, never showing her face again. That one chance...that one chance at true happiness, and you couldn't even hold on.
And emptiness. The feeling of missing something - your mate, to be exact. He's constantly gone - not that you can help it, you did after all, know what you were signing up for before any of this started. But you cannot help but feel like there could be ways around it. You could ask him to stay; ask him to keep you company in your time of loneliness. He doesn't seem to notice how it affects you; you never dare show him. That doesn't mean you don't feel alone when he's gone.
Blessita had struggled with these demons for a while now, wondering how she'd be able to escape the black hole of her own life, before it took her. It was she who put it there, and only she who could destroy it. And yet, it became who she was. She wanted a family more than anything in the world. After Giorgia had left, the only thing keeping Blessita moving along day-to-day was the idea that perhaps, just maybe, she'd be given a second chance at a family. Yet to this day, that was not the case. The mare was beginning to come to terms with the thought that, well, maybe motherhood wasn't in the stars for her. Maybe she was destined to be a doting mate, and that was it. She couldn't, however, help but long for more.
And she could tell her own sadness took a toll on Umo. He hadn't been gone from her side in a while, which helped to ease her pain, and he had gotten her to accompany him on some of their adventures to explore the lands...but she knew her sadness made him sad. His words were softer and more gentle than she'd ever remember them being, and he was much more harsh to Soquili who tried to talk to her. Umo's protectiveness made Blessita feel as if she was meant for this - that the two of them could do great things together, if given time. It just hurt not knowing how much time it would actually take.
Seeing a stallion like Umo show any type of emotion other than anger was the strangest thing ever, but it made her smile. In a twisted, selfish kind-of way, it made her realize she wasn't in this alone. Not completely. She had a mate who loved her dearly; who she loved back just as much. They could get through this together, whatever the cost.
Family or no family, they had each other. And that's what mattered.
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Posted: Mon May 20, 2013 3:34 pm
 When you never really have anything early on in your life, you tend not to expect anything for the rest of it. You've already come to terms with what it means to experience real, deep, emotional pain. Your parents were brutally murdered in front of you, along with the rest of your herd. No matter what stage of life you happen to be in, that kind of a scene changes you...nothing is ever quite the same. And loneliness is not an alien concept either - considering the rest of your life is spent in isolation. Sure, you've brought it upon yourself; always being rude and obnoxious and rather, well, murderous yourself whenever someone comes along. But that doesn't mean the emptiness of your soul doesn't mean anything to you. There is still a need for something...
But what exactly, is unclear until she comes along.
Everything about her is perfect; she's beautiful, she's brave, she's adventurous, she's funny...she's everything you never really knew someone could be and you don't really want to get rid of her. Neither, apparently, does she to you. The two of you fall quickly in love, and she teaches you what it's like to feel again. At first, the love is grand...nothing could possibly stop the happiness from filling your dark heart.
Until you realize she grows colder by the day, due to the absence of foals. Foals you do want yourself, to be honest, but want more for her happiness, than your own. Her smile fades, briefly, until she notices that you're looking, then she's happy again, but you know. You know she's longs for a family. That last debacle - that mare you never met but apparently have to call your daughter - she is nothing but a blimp on the radar as far as your concerned. She means nothing. You want to make this mare you've grown to love happy with children from within you. Not some spirit-wish gone bad.
But you can't. Nothing works. The two of you have tried everything under the bright sun, and it all seems to be in vain. Everything you hope for is gone when you see how much that affects your beautiful mate, and you cannot help but want to kill someone.
Killing used to bring Umojani'Jeuri pleasure, until he met Blessita. She was changing him bit by bit. He was still harsh, and rather unkind...but he knew love again, and that's what mattered. The two of them were going to spend the rest of their lives together, and whether or not that meant children was up to the heavens. All he knew was that she was perfect and she was his. Nothing could take him away from her, or vice-versa. They were going to rule the world together if he had anything to say about it.
Children were just a plus, in his book. All that mattered was that they had each other.
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Posted: Mon May 20, 2013 7:14 pm
"Ooomoe!" The mare screamed out, jolting upward in the middle of a nap.
Her speech had never quite perfected over the course of her lifetime - she had always talked a bit funny, and it never seemed to go away. However, spending so much time with Umojani had taught her minor changes in the pronunciation of her words. All she had to do was remember. But his name, aptly pronounced, 'u-mo', had never quite stuck with her, and Umo never bothered to correct her. She knew it wasn't the right way; she had heard other people pronounce it Umo, but her own version of his name was hers. And she was his...so it fit.
The mare glanced in the direction of her sleeping mate, a look of panic written across her face. "Ooomoe, wake up!" She moved her body ever so slightly and nudged him in the shoulder, in attempt to stir him awake. Typically, the stallion had a hard time removing himself from a nap, and so getting him up was rather difficult.
Having not succeeded in stirring him on the first try, Blessita dared not try again. Sometimes this was a game she played with herself; seeing how many pushes it took before he finally awoke, but it usually resulted in him grumbling at her about personal space and being nice to a sleeping beast. 'Don't wake the bear', he would say to her. Blessita would usually just giggle and prance away in response. She knew everything they did was all in jest, and if there was ever a REAL problem, there would be an obvious difference between play and reality.
But tonight was a bit different. The mare woke with such a start because something inside her belly caused her to feel a bit well...off. She couldn't quite find the word to describe it at that exact moment - but her tummy felt very funny. As if she had 10 more apples than necessary, and was about to be sick. In fact...
Sick indeed she was.
Maneuvering her tiny frame away from the body heat of Umojani, the small, albeit rather sick mare made her way over to a nearby bush and emptied herself of all that sickness. She frowned. She had been sick before, but she had always known the cause of why it came about and this time, she was at a loss for ideas. Had she eaten something rotten earlier that night? Was there something in the water? It had been a while since this feeling came about...and she was completely and utterly uncomfortable.
So she did the only logical thing she could think of, and she screamed at the top of her lungs for her mate,
"Ooomoe! Naaaow! Pweeeze wake up! Ah' need you!"
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Posted: Mon May 20, 2013 7:57 pm
It had gone off like a gunshot during a silent night.
Like expected, Umojani failed to feel or hear his mate speak to him the first time around, and so he slept heavily and peacefully until - BAM!
Screams. They weren't blood-curdling, but they were enough to startle anyone. The night had barely made a peep up until that moment, and so the noise was a shock - it could have happened anywhere in the surrounding area, and it would still be clear as day. Unwillingly, Umo tore himself away from his dream. His head shot up quickly before the rest of his body had time to react and he let out a giant, "humpfh?" in response.
They were coming from her. A quick scan around the vicinity of his body and it was obvious she had gotten up. But to where? Still a bit groggy from the suddenness of it all, he blinked around twisting his head from side to side. Ah, there she was...face first in a bush...
What?
"Blessita, is everything alright? You screamed," he stated bluntly, picking up his hooves to walk over to her. The smile he wore on his face was bright and welcoming, but there was still a look of worry and panic within in deep, dark gray eyes. He didn't want to scare her by panicking in front of her without knowing what was wrong, but his insides were squirming with anticipation. Why was her face in the bush?
If there was anything harming her, he'd show them just exactly who they were messing with.
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Posted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 7:52 pm
Aha! That did the trick.
With her head still in the bush, the mare felt her mate's presence near her as he voiced his concern for her well-being. It warmed her heart to know how much he really did care for her, but right now she did not feel like responding. Because before she knew it, the sickness came up again, and much stronger than before. With an icky taste lingering in her mouth, she grudgingly lifted her head to stare at Umo.
"Ah' dun feew good!" Although that was true, she couldn't help but force a tiny giggle to escape her throat. The scene must have looked ridiculous, she realized, and it was her fault for over-reacting. Oh well! They were up now, and she was safe in his arms. There was nothing more to fear.
"What you think 'appened? Oomoe? Did we eat some'fing funny?" She silently wondered if maybe he didn't feel good either, but didn't want to appear weak to his beloved mate, so held it in.
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Posted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 8:00 pm
Oh, what a silly little mare she was indeed. She didn't feel good?
If this was anyone else, Umo would have probably blown up in their face for acting so foolish and childish - but he knew this was just who she was and he didn't blame for her something like that. Perhaps she was genuinely concerned for the feelings erupting in her stomach, and needed his help to feel better.
He was about to make an off-handed comment, until he noticed the way her stomach glowed. For some reason today, it had glowed much more than it had in previous days or weeks, and it startled him. Sure, so Umo had noticed the fact that his mate was gaining weight and growing thicker, but for some reason, today it just looked...more obvious. And he couldn't quite place a hoof on as to why. They hadn't eaten anything different or funky in the past few days, nor had they stepped in anything poisonous...
Maybe this was just mares did on occasion-!
This WAS what mares did on occasion, although this was not something they had control over, was it? Her belly had been growing and her body looked thicker because she was...dare he say it? Dare he tell her, and jinx their potential happiness?
"Lessie, sweet...have you noticed your weight gain recently?" Umo questioned, rather hesitantly. He'd move into the topic slowly, and see if she could get to the conclusion on her own.
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Posted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 8:13 pm
When Umo posed his question, Blessita had been stunned. Weight gain? What or who did he think he was? Weight gain? Please! She was tiny! She had made a habit of exercising to her maximum potential as much as she could and she was far from a 'lazy' mare...so there was no possible way she could be gaining weight!
So Blessita was about to give him a taste of his own medicine right back, until something stopped her and forced her to look down at her stomach. Umo was...well...right. Her belly did look a bit more swollen than it normally did.
Maybe she was eating too much! The mare giggled, and gave her mate a sideways glance. "Ah'm not fat. Jus' maaaaybe a wittle chubby?" She had yet to jump to the conclusion of a possible pregnancy, like her mate was thinking. Or perhaps, rather, she didn't want to think that way in case that wasn't the truth.
Her whole life spent with Umojani, and that was all she wanted. A family. And now....now it was there, and she was unable to comprehend it. So Blessita leaned on her mate, in attempt to get him to explain - maybe help her understand. She wanted to believe, she really did...but something inside her stopped her mind from thinking that way. No....she wouldn't allow herself to get that disappointed. Not again. Not ever again.
Umo would help her. Blessita slightly hoped that he'd tell her what she wanted to hear - she always imagined him telling her those words - but she knew it was only a pipe dream now. She couldn't allow herself to think of that fake happiness.
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Posted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 4:55 pm
She avoided the elephant in the room, and rightfully so. Umo could only imagine what it must be like, to want to be a mother but never getting the chance. Or, rather, getting the chance but having it taken from you. There was no surprise that Blessita did not want to come outright and say she could be pregnant.
Because if they lost them, or if it were false....damn the world. Damn it all to the seven hells.
"Blessita, could you be pregnant? I think you might be pregnant. This isn't fat, fat. I think I would be able to tell the difference!" He slowly eased his way through his words, as to not upset his darling beloved. They had both wanted nothing more than a family to call their own, and this...this could finally be that day. Oh! Oh!! Umo grinned, and nuzzled her almost too forcefully. If this really was a pregnancy, and they really were going to be parents, he was the happiest stallion alive.
He can finally give Blessita everything she's ever wanted. And that was what mattered.
The large stallion continued to nuzzle her, this time a bit more lovingly. He pictured the two of them, surrounded by 3 little fillies, laughing and playing a nice game of chase. Blessita would be 'Mumma' to them, and he 'Dah', and they'd laugh the day away. He pictured a little grove in the forest, much bigger than the one they had now. The 5 of them would call it home, forever, and the girls would eventually bring their own families there too.
Oh, when Umo's daughters had mates, those stallions better realize who they're dealing with. The thought made Umo grin with pleasure. He'd very much enjoy torturing those future mates.
"We should ask someone. Get it confirmed for sure." He looked deeply into her hazy eyes. The light in them was beginning to flicker....
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Posted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 5:14 pm
And there it was. Those precious words she had been dreading and wanting. Pregnant. Could it be? Could the heavens finally have answered her pleading prayers?
It was still too much to hope for, but the mare couldn't help herself. She glanced down at her belly right as her mate plowed into her. With his nuzzling, and her swollen belly, they looked like a happy little family to be....and it was perfect. But was it real? She didn't know...
But she pictured a litter of 3 little colts. Each one of them look after their father. They'd have piercing brown eyes, with short hair and stripes; they'd have spots that covered their bodies. They'd be temperamental and sarcastic, like little boys were.
And it wouldn't matter to her, cause they'd be hers. They'd call her 'Ma', and protest whenever she attempted to groom them. They'd grow into handsome young stallions before she even got to name them.
It was a perfect little world, and she wanted it so bad.
When Umo asked her if she wanted to ask another Soquili, her eyes lit up with glee. Yes. That was the best idea he's ever had. That way, if it were true, they'd know now. If it wasn't true...well, at least it wasn't like that never happened before. She'd be prepared for the worst.
"Ah think tha' may be a good idea. Jus' in case." Her tone was more serious than she had expected it to be, as though her brain shut down all her happy thoughts. This would not be official until it was confirmed - she would not celebrate until there was no doubt in either one of their minds.
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Posted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 5:36 pm
((shamelessly posts this....))
 She doesn't usually venture from the teepee that she and the two-legger Lalit lived. In fact, after 3 separate pregnancies, and grandchildren upon grandchildren, she hardly ever leaves anymore. There is just too much at stake when there is that many family members - you never know when one might come to visit. Mahiri feared missing them if they came while she was away, so he happily stayed put. Her two-legger companion was bad to her, either; she very much enjoyed his company. It was a win-win, in her book.
But today, something told her to venture out a little bit farther than normal, just to see what was out there. There was usually a set walking distance that she allowed herself, but today she broke that rule. The old mare walked along the riverbank of the deep forest, admiring the fish as they swam along beside her. They looked happy, she noticed, and she giggled down at them. The world hadn't granted her with fins or wings, so she was stuck to the ground...but it was alright. There wasn't any use in longing for something that could never be.
Besides, her life was perfect and she wouldn't change it for the world. Mahiri had a loving mate, and 9 loving children...plus a massive amount of extended family because of her children and their children. How many Soquili in these lands could say they were a great-great-grandmother thrice over, and still living? Aha! Yes, Mahiri was one of the lucky ones. And she realized it. Over the years, that fact had kept her grounded and peaceful; her usual hyper and playful manner disappearing with her age. And that was alright, as well. There came and went a time and a place for all of that, and now she could enjoy relaxation.
So she did; the mare continued to walk along the path of the river bend, when she heard the squeals of a pair of Soquili. Or, at least...she assumed them to be Soquili. By the sound of it, they weren't too far off, and so she decided to investigate what the squealing was all about. Usually one squeals for something positive, and so Mahiri wanted to congratulate them on whatever it was they had to be happy about.
When she saw them, the young couple, her heart filled with glee. It had been a while since Hania and herself had ever been that young and so newly in love - but they were just as much in love since the day they met. Oh, but to be that young again....Mahiri sighed a happy little sigh.
"Greetings, young ones! I do not mean to intrude, but congrats on the pregnancy! Is this your first?" She had assumed that's what they were happy about, and did not feel as though she was giving away a giant secret. The young mare was clearly showing - she could tell - and they wore faces of delight. "Just wanted to see what the commotion was about! I'll leave you two to your celebrations now!" And with that, Mahiri headed back toward the river bank to continue her mini travel.
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Posted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 8:44 pm
Strange was not quite the word that fit.
The two of them, his mate and him, had only just discussed the possibility. It was a fleeting moment for both of them, and it meant everything, and it also meant nothing. To say that Umo had been expecting that, would have been a lie. He wanted desperately, like so many times before, to give his beloved mate the family she deserved, but he wasn't expecting it now. Would he have gone to a healer or a wise leader and find out if it was true? Yes, very much indeed. Would he be standing in the exact same spot he was when he first asked the question?
Not in his wildest dreams.
The mare was a pretty, older mare, and she seemed very happy with herself, being able to talk to complete strangers. Umo stared at her in disbelief as she spoke - out of confusion and shock. Could she tell, just from one single glance, that Blessita was pregnant? And, boy! What an entrance! The mare left almost as soon as she had appeared. Umo turned to look at his mate, who was all but doing backflips around the field they stood.
"Well, there you have it, Blessita dear. Pregnant indeed." His insides were doing flips, while is exterior had remained stone-faced save for the smile he allowed. This was her gift - her joy - he was only just a small part in it. This family they finally created - it was their family, yes, but the foals were hers. Hers to raise, hers to love, hers to spoil. Umo was their father, but that, he realized, was all he'd ever be. Could he love someone just as unconditionally as he loved Blessita? Would they love him back?
A million tiny thoughts crept up into his mind, and while he watched his mate react, he couldn't help but panic. What if they turned out like him, and attacked her? What if they didn't like her either? What if the foals turned out like Giorgia?
No. He'd kill her before she got a chance to go anywhere near Blessita's children. It didn't matter to him that Blessita loved the mare like a daughter - he'd still try to find a way to end her life. She'd bring them nothing but pain, as she already had.
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Posted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 8:54 pm
She was....?
Floored? Terrified? Confused? Excited? Pregnant? For real, this time? This was not some sick joke - was it?
There lingered in the morning air a few seconds of mild confusion, and then she exploded. Neither her nor Umo paid any mind to the mare who had confirmed their suspicions, but it didn't seem to phase either one of them. The young mare was too busy wiggling around, nudging her mate, skipping, yelling, what have you, to notice that the other mare never got a 'thank you'.
She was going to be a mother.
A real mother. This foals would come from inside her, this time. Not from a wishing tree. This time, they'd be just as much Umo as they were her - and there would be no mutations, no mess ups. She could raise them alongside Umo, and they'd be a happy family, together.
She was pregnant.
Her own mother had disappeared a long time ago, so Blessita never got the chance to ask her how pregnancy felt, but it didn't feel any different than normal daily life. Wasn't it supposed to be all icky and fatty and gross? Aside from the morning sickness a few minutes ago, the mare felt perfectly fine....and she felt lighter than she ever had. Maybe...perhaps her pregnancy was different than other mares? Or maybe she just wasn't that far along yet?
Oh! The wait will kill her, for sure. She already had to wait so very long...why did she still have to wait? The young mare turned to her mate who seemed a bit too composed for the news that was just delivered. She pondered; what could be going on inside his head? Was he doubting his parenting skills, again? Was he worried about the foals? Blessita slightly huffed to herself - she knew what kind of a guy he had been, and what kind of a guy he was now - she had successfully changed him for the better, and she could do that with the foals, too. There would be no need to worry. But now wasn't the time to have that discussion - now was a time of joy and celebration.
"Ooomooeeee!!!" She squealed, finally unable to contain her surprise. "Wha' you wanna naaaame them?"
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Posted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 9:06 pm
It was a sad, almost alienating thought to know that this was the first time he'd ever seen her this, happy. She had been happy plenty times before, and she was always smiling - but not this. This was...almost too much? The stallion couldn't help but smile back at her as he watched the excitement explode, but there was still that pang in his heart knowing that it took this long to see it happen.
He should have been a better mate. He should have found a way to fix their 'problem' much, much earlier than this. If he hadn't...how much longer would she have been willing to wait? Umo knew that Blessita loved him, and him her, but would she have stuck it out until the end, waiting but never receiving?
That wasn't a topic of discussion or thought anymore, however, seeing as their wish had finally come true. He needn't worry about her thoughts or deepest feelings any longer, because now he was sure they were all positive and loving. Soon the pitter-patter of foals would arrive, and he'd be a father.
A good father, hopefully. One who could teach them how to fight. Or stick up for themselves in danger, rather than be the one to bring the danger.
When Blessita asked her adorable little question, the stallion couldn't help but bellow out a laugh. "Name them? Love, honestly, we only just received the news! We don't even know the genders yet! Why don't we discuss some possibilities first, and then go from there?"
Umo realized he didn't care what genders, or what names his children had, so long as Blessita was happy. He'd let her do all the decision making.
Although, a strong name from his homelands wasn't a terrible idea...
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Posted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 9:40 pm
Her high was still going as strong as ever. She'd never be able to come down from this, she guessed. It was the single most happiest moment of her life, and Umo was there to celebrate it with her.
It was perfection.
The mare frowned a bit, still coming off strong with her excitement, as she listened to her mate's dismissal of the naming idea. It was just a suggestion, she wanted to scream, but held her tongue. He was merely being himself, and had meant no harm in shooting down her excitement. He wanted to discuss possibilities instead, while she just wanted to get it over with now. She couldn't wait any longer. And so she continued on anyway,
"Hmmphf. Ah' like ma' parents trend of two ss's. Caaaaan we do tha' with ah' least one of 'em? Maaaaaaybe." She shrugged, very deep in thought. These were her babies, and her babies names had to be absolutely perfect. "Ma' nicknaaame is Lessie, in't? Maybe we can do Lessio. Fer a boy." She triumphantly put an emphasis on the letter 'o' as she spoke her idea for a name, giving her mate a smug look. She was a sneaky clever little one, indeed she was - he'd be pleasantly surprised with her play on words! The mare knew she'd have her way, regardless - she was smart enough for that - but it would still be nice to see his reaction to her cleverness.
Umo held her intelligence level very high, however. Much higher than she held it herself. Perhaps he wouldn't be surprised by her cleverness - perhaps he'd be expecting it. She frowned; did he have to take the fun outta everything?
"I can't waaait, Ooomooee! We're gunna be parents!"
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