Nickname: None yet until someone later on starts calling her something else.
Age: 17
Birthday: October 16th
Sign: Libra
Gemstone: Opal
Blood Type: A+
Fav. Food: Mango and strawberry mochi. Truly she loves anything strawberry.
Hated Food: clams, oysters, muscles
School: Currently attends Crystal Academy and hopes to attend Sovereign Heights Prep School once she graduates from the Academy.
Hobbies: Her hobbies are meant to be more solitary. However through plots and character development I hope to have her start participating in groups, joining clubs, and over all sharing her hobbies with others.
Picture Perfect She is on her own personal quest to take the perfect picture. Mei has been a nature photographer for a few years (since she was 15). It started with an outing with her parents to the mountains for a hike. Using her parents point and shoot camera Mei found herself immersed in a new world of wonder. Photography quickly became her passion, her most favorite subject are storms and nature after the storms. Once the winds pick up and the lightening starts illuminating the sky she is ready to head out to chase the storm in hopes of the "wow" picture.
Gardening She has a decent size garden most of the plants are strawberry plants, herbs and a few veggies while the rest of the garden is an assortment of flowers. The photos she takes of storms show the destructiveness and wrath of nature and the aftermath of a storm shows the resilience and mystical feeling like the world is born a new. The flower garden is simply there for her to take photos of something beautiful and to help her relax. Sometimes she is lucky enough to get photos of butterflies, bees, and hummingbirds that her garden attracts.
Puzzles/ Mind games One of her favorite pass times involve various puzzles (jigsaw, crosswords, sudoku etc) and mind games. She enjoys games that challenge you and make you think outside the box or to pay attention to clues and use reasoning like grid detective. When it comes to jigsaw puzzles she can easily spend hours on end working on a puzzle working on a 1500-2000 + piece puzzles and for her it's a timing thing, how many hours will it take to finish it. Games like sudoku and grid detective she sits there till it's 100% done, again it's a timing thing she wants to see how fast she can finish it.
Running Her outlet for when she has too much on her mind is to go running. Weather permitting does not apply; sun, rain, snow none of it bothers her much. Though if it's the weather is too severe such as hurricane, twister, or if it is hailing outside (if the weather can cause injury) she's likely to consider going to the gym in lieu of running outside.
Virtues:
Where there's a will there's a wayMei is the type of person that doesn't like giving up. She has the will power to plow through the mishaps that life likes to throw her way and keep going. The world will have to be coming to an end or time will have to run out before she will stop trying to find a way to accomplish a task/ get something done. Her mind is one where it is always thinking, thinking of a way, there's an answer what is it, there's a better way to do this but how. Part of this stems from her love of puzzles while the other part of it is because it's her nature. - In the amazing words of Agent Coulson from the S.H.I.E.L.D. TV series “Don’t ever tell me there’s no way,”
Trusting/ Willingness to forgive Mei is a fairly trusting individual, the moment she meets someone they automatically have her trust. This trust lasts as long as she does not feel like she has been let down or betrayed. Even so, she’s willing to forgive minor transgressions but not large betrayals, at least not easily. For instance if someone asks her for help or wants to do something with her like an activity and they decide not to show up she finds that they let her down when she trusted they would show up when they said they would. Yes she will forgive them but if it's a trend it may lessen her trust and willingness to do stuff with or for them. The exception to this is if someone asks her/ tricks her into to doing something morally wrong or illegal.
Mama bear Though Mei is more or less a pretty mellow individual, if she notices that a friend or someone she cares about, is seeming depressed she will try to find out what is going on. If it turns out that her friend is being picked on, harass, or bullied she will go out of her way to make sure they are not alone (ex. walk them to class) If the harassment happens while she is present be ready the offender better be ready for a verbal lashing. Mei is not a physical person but her tongue is as sharp as a razor.
Flaws: ....but never forget Depending on the severity of the betrayal of her trust it will take time for Mei to forgive them, the internal walls she builds up do not come down easy and never completely disappear. It is her own defense mechanism to protect herself from history repeating itself. Small things include making plans but not following through or ditching without notice, she will forgive you but she wont forget and mentally keeps a tally that she keeps and occasionally if a repeat offender of ditching asks her help or asks to meet her somewhere it may hinder her willingness to help. Or she may give of the disappointing vibe without saying what's up. Eventually she will start to make comments like 'You will be there right? you won't bail again?' it usually takes 3+ times for her to finally start saying anything. A big betrayal of her trust would be something like tricking her into doing something morally wrong. At this point she feel like a fool for trusting an individual and at this phase she will internalize her emotions it and eventually it will fall into a glass spilled scenario. Also, Never forget isn't limited to others but also includes her self failings.
Failure-Not an option is not something she impresses upon others but is a standard she sets for herself, when she does not meet her own standards for 'something i should have known' or 'something i should have done' she dwells on it. She is one that will go to the ends of the earth to find a way to solve a problem. If there's a will there's a way and the number one thing she hates the most is to give up. If ever put into a situation where she can't figure it out (times up, back against the wall, the door is shut) she takes it as a personal failure. After the encounter/ incident or task she will spend the next few hours and sometimes days brooding over " I should have / could have done this" Others may feel that her bar is set too high for herself or that she's too hard on herself.
Cup 1/2 full or 1/2 empty... neither it just spilled It is in her nature to over think things an internalize her feelings. Over time this starts to wear her down and inevitably when she gets to the breaking point all her frustration and woe's come pouring out to the one the tipped the glass. Indication that something is bothering her include increase in running frequency, antsy, irritable.
PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION
Eyes:Medium jade green with pink flecks
Hair: Color A light sandy color / platinum blond. Properties Medium length to about her shoulder blades, slightly wavy Style She has bangs and part of her hair is tied up into buns while the rest of her hair hangs down. ReferenceLink
Face: Round face with tan skin. She is of Chinese decent and would like her features to reflect aspects of that please.
Clothes:
Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 9:49 am
Senshi:Sailor Sìdòuèr Sidouer Is the second star in the Monoceros constellation. Monoceros is Greek for unicorn and the Chinese name for this constellation is Qí lín zuò, meaning "the qilin constellation" and Qilin is the alternate form of Kirin. The western name for Sìdòuèr is 17 Monocerotis or 17 Mon for short.
Challenge: "You're in for quite a shock"
Fuku Colour: Main Color: Light Jade Secondary Color: Transparent Pink
Fuku: I'm looking for an updated sailor scout version of her animate outfit. Pink elements to remain transparent. And looking to possibly keep her boots and gloves. Suggestions from artists welcome. Places to draw inspiration from, Chinese designs, Chinese knots, kirins, and jade/ opals.
Collar -- Bow -- Bodice -- Sleeves -- Brooch -- Bottoms -- Tiara -- Tear drop opal pendant with a jade bead. The tiara itself I would like to see evolve with her as she levels up. Senshi: a simple chain. Super Senshi: more links to the chain or add jade beads. Choker -- Shoes -- Gloves -- Accessories --
Attacks:
Sailor Scout Attack: Sìdòuèr Static Shock Sìdòuèr targets one opponent within 6'-6" of her current location. Rubbing her hands together she forms a ball of static energy forms in the palm of her hand as an image of a Kirin begins to form it then charges/arches towards the intended target. If the ball of static energy hits, it gives the single opponent a nasty shock it may numb the area where the opponent was struck (but it will not paralyze them) and, if a battle takes place at night or in a dark area, there is a chance of the opponent's vision being either momentarily blinded or seeing the afterimage of the shock for 2-5 seconds (it is the exact same effect as if you are standing in a dark room and someone flips the lights on then off really quick you'll see a bright probably blue after image lingering in front of you while your eyes adjust). If the opponent is more than 6'-6" away from her the static shock will still reach out towards the opponent but fizzle out. This attack can be used 3 times per battle.
Super Sailor Scout Attack: Sìdòuèr Chaining static shock Sìdòuèr targets one opponent within 8' of her current location. This attack is similar to her first attack, however this time the attack can affect up to three targets and has a slightly larger radius. Rubbing her hands together she forms a ball of static energy forms in the palm of her hand; as an image of a Kirin begins to form it then charges/arches towards the intended target. If the ball of static energy hits the intended target, it gives the opponent a nasty shock it may numb the area where the opponent was struck (but it will not paralyze them unless she hits the same person in the same spot multiple times). Once the shock makes contact with the target it will then charge/ jump to the next nearest opponent dealing the same damage before jumping one final time (either back to the frist opponent or to a 3rd opponent). The opponents must be either in front of her, to her side, it will not target someone behind her unless she knows they are there and they are in range (The bolt can only hit a max of 3 people (or things), it can only jump twice).
If a battle takes place at night or in a dark area, there is a chance of the opponent's vision being either momentarily blinded or seeing the afterimage of the shock for 2-5 seconds (it is the exact same effect as if you are standing in a dark room and someone flips the lights on then off really quick you'll see a bright probably blue after image lingering in front of you while your eyes adjust). If the opponent is more than 8' away from her the static shock will target a near metal object in an attempt to reach said opponent (eats up a jump) if it still cannot reach out towards the opponent the static will fizzle out. This attack can be used 2 times per battle.
Scenarios 1a) If there are up to three opponents spread out in front of her at least 8' away from each other she will target the static bolt at the closest target and it will bounce to the next person within 8' and finally to one last target within 8' jumping a total of 2 times. 1b) If two opponents the bolt will jump back to the first person. If opponents exceed 8' apart the bolt may jump to a something metal in an attempt to reach the second opponent in which the object eats up a jump. 1c) If one opponent the static shock will not hit the same person 3 times, it must hit the person then an object then back to the person. If no object is in range then they only get hit the initial time with slightly more intensity than the original sailor scout attack. 1d) If there are 3+ opponents she will target one it will then jump to the closest opponent to that target and then the closest one to the second target. It will hit the 2 closest opponents to her initial target.
Eternal Sailor Attack: Sìdòuèr Static Dispersion Ensnare(AOE) Sìdòuèr rubs her hands together gathering a ball of pre-static in the palm of her hand. After she says 'Ensnare' the ball explodes outward in a 6'-6" radius around her cloaking Chaos aligned characters only in the 'pre-static'. The pre-static does no damage it is energy before the shock (when you shuffle your feet across carpet when you wear socks and your hair on your arms stand on ends, or when you rub a balloon on your head or before a lightening storm you can feel / smell the energy / electricity in the air) Cast time 3 seconds for the static to collect in her palm 1 second for the dispersion effect to go off and 1 second for it to dissipate. Once the dispersion dissipates 3 static arches reach up out of the ground 'attracted' to the opponent.
The arches do two different types of damage, so long as the opponent(s) remains stationary those arches zap the opponent doing minimal damage which can be compared to being snapped by a rubber band, more annoying if anything every 5 seconds. If an opponent moves from where they are currently standing (be it by walking, running, or jumping), the static arches, triggered by movement of such, will follow them, shocking them with the same intensity as her basic attack (such that 1-2 shocks would make an opponents foot/ feet feel numb/ tingly, 3-5 would be knee(s) down, 6+ your legs may as well be asleep) once every 5 seconds until they remain stationary (they can move their arms and head without triggering the shock). A target cannot be shocked and zapped at the same time; if they are still they are zapped, if they are creating more static energy by running in the radius, they are shocked. The static field exists for a total of 45 seconds, and any tingling or numbness will fade within 20 seconds.
Visual video: Link the healer in the lower left corner at about the 45 seconds mark
Shanyume
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Shanyume
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Posted: Mon May 20, 2013 8:27 pm
If it's not too much trouble I feel like my brain is fried if someone wants to help me out with some tips or suggestions. I'm looking for a critique with constructive criticism on some things that need improvement and/or need to be tweaked.
It has been years since I've written anything least of all a character bio. At the moment I feel like I'm having trouble with virtues, flaws, fuku design, and would like to know if the attacks I have so far make sense.
Thank you-
Shan
Posted: Wed May 22, 2013 3:11 pm
Shanyume
Hi Shan!
I'm so happy you've made your character! I thought I'd make mention of a few things to think of and a few notes I saw when reading Mei's profile.
Hobbies: Hobbies are the ways characters find interaction so while they may have solitary sides to them its also important to express how these hobbies help Mei get out in the world to meet people. For instance: does she belong to a gardening club or community garden?
Virtues: Where there's a will - In what ways does she persevere? How does this allow people to look up to her? Are there limits to this? Can you elaborate a bit more on his this effects her relationships with people? You used willing twice my dear, FYI I'd really like to see more description on "Mama Bear". A lot of characters have maternal and nurturing instincts. How does this effect her interactions with other people? Are there limits to who she'll defend? I'd really like to see that given more detail and thought.
Flaws: Never Forget - what history shouldn't be repeated? (ie what started this flaw?) And I guess I'm not getting how this effects her interaction with people? If someone betrays her trust how does this manifest in her? Flaws are meant to be things other people look down on your character for. What would she do with this flaw to make people look down on her? Does she throw past events in her friend's faces? Does she become cold or distant? Does she make sarcastic remarks and make people feel bad if they cancel plans? Why is this a bad thing? Failure is not an option does not sound like a flaw. How does this negatively impact her life/interactions/relationships? Does she push other people to succeed with her to the point of being badgering/annoying/pushy? Does she blame others if she cannot succeed? Does she mope and cancel commitments with friends? Etc. You may want to rename the last flaw to "Internalizes" or something. What happens when she breaks?
Powered Side: While the static electricity sphere should be different enough not to cause a problem the attack reads very much like the attacks made by Jupiter in both manifestation and effect. Static electricity is just static and not full on electric current. Try to keep that in mind when you create attacks. People should be able to read them and know you're talking about static and right now they can't. Right now, I'm pretty sure it encroaches too much on the forbidden electricity power set.
Maybe a little rewording would fix this.
Also, I'd really like to know how long the pain lasts and what happens to the senshi if she uses this power a second and third time. Does it get weaker? Does she? etc
I also think it does too many things at a basic level. (it hurts, and it can blind, and it's supercharged in water and metal, two really common things). I'd tone it down a little. She's just a basic senshi. They're not all that effective. Compare them to Negas or knights who only get a basic (crappy) item to start with. (like a stick or a pocketwatch)
It also needs a drawback. Can it be dodged? Does clothing dampen the effect, etc? I'm not saying it has to do both of those things but it should have some weakness. If you're unsure try reading through some accepted senshi powers.
The upgraded version is VERY complicated. I would try to simplify things a great deal. The easiest way I can think of is to rid the conductor element.
I didn't realize someone other than Song was going to critique it so I had only messaged her but right before submitting it I had made a change to add the mama bear and inadvertently posted two willing and deleted forgive virtue by mistake which leads to the never forget flaw. Confusing, sorry but I got rid of the second willing and did my best to retype for forgiveness.
Her hobbies are something that I intended to start out as solitary till through plots she can make friends and either like you said join a gardening club or cooking club where she can bring her own herbs and veggies. Or join a track team for running. They are open to becoming more social but initially solitary.
Powers were partially inspired by WoW attacks, playing a shaman for 5+ years visually the attacks make sense lightening bolt, chain lightening, and the boss attack charge up. But knowing lightening wasn't allowed I dumbed it down damage wise and limitations. None of her attacks are strong enough to paralyze, maybe numb/ tingle where water and metal amplify wood and rubber dampen or flat out absorb. I'll think more on her attacks. The other part of the inspiration is from my OC Sailor Chromium Kirin which was created for an DA collaboration.
Thank you for your critique.
Posted: Wed May 22, 2013 5:59 pm
Shanyume
Hi Shan!
I'm sorry if you didn't want me to crit. Everyone here can. It's encouraged so players can get a lot of viewpoints. Song will just give you the one for your stamp. ^_^
I'm sorry if you didn't want me to crit. Everyone here can. It's encouraged so players can get a lot of viewpoints. Song will just give you the one for your stamp. ^_^
No it's ok, I just didn't know is all smile
Posted: Wed May 22, 2013 10:32 pm
Shanyume
ZaiaFantasy
Shanyume
Hi Shan!
I'm sorry if you didn't want me to crit. Everyone here can. It's encouraged so players can get a lot of viewpoints. Song will just give you the one for your stamp. ^_^
No it's ok, I just didn't know is all smile
Just as a point of reference - your attacks read a lot like the existing senshi located here and would not be admissible unless changed
Hi Shan! I’m really excited to see Mei in play, so let’s get going!
ON THE CIVILIAN SIDE:
Ordinarily I’d ask for more details about how her hobbies are social, but you’ve covered that in your note! c:
For her Virtues -
I know the last part if her Forgive virtue is basically her “but never forget” flaw, but I’d actually like to see some of the caveats for “Forgive” in that virtue itself! “But never forget” can be a great flaw all its own without looking like it’s just finishing off her virtue. (Also I love it when Virtues and Flaws mirror each other like that. Double-edged traits are the best.) I think the ideal would be to mention under “Forgive” that she’s definitely willing to forgive minor transgressions but not large betrayals, and under “but never forget” expand on her keeping a “tally” of wrongs done to her!
On her Flaws -
You have four virtues and three flaws, and I’d like to see them be four and four to even out! Some possibilities – does her willingness to bend over and be accommodating for others mean she sometimes finds her own wishes drowned out? Is she the type to put others before herself to a fault? Can she be overbearing in her protectiveness? All possibilities!
For “But never forget,” you mention her keeping a tally of things people have done that she considers betrayals of trust. Is she the type to constantly remind people of wrongs they’ve done? (“Oh, you did X to me, so you should totally let Y thing I did even out”/”You were a jerk to me this one time so clearly we have to do this thing I want”/that sort of thing)
Right now, “Failure – not an option” isn’t really reading as a flaw. Flaws are usually something people will judge you for – is she vocal about the could have/would have/should haves? Does she dwell on it for what would probably be longer than "normal"?
ON THE POWERED SIDE:
For her fuku, you could potentially just leave the (very cute omg) reference you have and ask that the colorist tweak it to fit shop Senshi guidelines, that’s totally acceptable!
ON POWERS: My main suggestion is that in order to make it more clearly static electricity, especially for the first two, perhaps make it a contact attack? Like, for the first, Tian Yuan Ti grabs her opponent, says the name of her attack, and bz-zap!
For the second, again, make it reliant on physical contact? Tian Yuan Ti starts it out by zapping one person, anyone they touch in x amount of time gets zapped, and so on. (And you can take advantage of this by having Tian Yuan Ti knock opponents into each other, possibly!) Perhaps at this stage the shock leaves the opponent with some tingling/numbness? Bad static shocks can do that!
I think the Eternal attack is fine as is! It is somewhat but not entirely similar to Herse’s (different visuals, different timings, so even though it has similar effects it should be alright).
All the stuff in “special info” as far as conductors/dampeners and extra effects need to be folded into the attacks themselves; however, the conductor/dampener stuff is not something I personally think is necessary. It’s magic static, so it doesn't need to follow regular physics, and in my opinion the best attacks are the simplest!
If you need any help or clarification my PM box is always open, or IM me at terra.cooper on AIM c: <3
Posted: Thu May 23, 2013 3:35 pm
Songstress Kitsune
I am at work for another hour and won't be home till 5 PM pacific. I'll message you once I get home if you're on.
Shanyume
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Shanyume
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Posted: Thu May 23, 2013 4:14 pm
Songstress Kitsune
Hi Shan! I’m really excited to see Mei in play, so let’s get going!
ON THE CIVILIAN SIDE:
Ordinarily I’d ask for more details about how her hobbies are social, but you’ve covered that in your note! c:
I'm happy to hear that it works out.
For her Virtues -
I know the last part if her Forgive virtue is basically her “but never forget” flaw, but I’d actually like to see some of the caveats for “Forgive” in that virtue itself! “But never forget” can be a great flaw all its own without looking like it’s just finishing off her virtue. (Also I love it when Virtues and Flaws mirror each other like that. Double-edged traits are the best.) I think the ideal would be to mention under “Forgive” that she’s definitely willing to forgive minor transgressions but not large betrayals, and under “but never forget” expand on her keeping a “tally” of wrongs done to her!
I like how you worded that for forgive and I fell like it fits her.
For 'but never forget' they're mental tallies that she keeps and occasionally if a repeat offender of ditching asks her help or asks to meet her somewhere she may make a comment 'You will be there right? you won't bail again?' it usually takes 2-3 times for her to finally start saying that.
On her Flaws -
You have four virtues and three flaws, and I’d like to see them be four and four to even out! Some possibilities – does her willingness to bend over and be accommodating for others mean she sometimes finds her own wishes drowned out? Is she the type to put others before herself to a fault? Can she be overbearing in her protectiveness? All possibilities!
I have no idea to be honest, after spending enough time working on her I don't think I could force another flaw out till I RP with her. If they need to be balanced I'd almost be more willing to ask you to pick her weakest one and I'll get rid of that virtue.
For “But never forget,” you mention her keeping a tally of things people have done that she considers betrayals of trust. Is she the type to constantly remind people of wrongs they’ve done? (“Oh, you did X to me, so you should totally let Y thing I did even out”/”You were a jerk to me this one time so clearly we have to do this thing I want”/that sort of thing)
I keep using the make plans and ditch scenario but if it is something that happens frequently it may hinder her willingness to help. Or she may give of the disappointing vibe without saying what's up. At this phase she's internalizing it and eventually it will fall into a glass spilled scenario.
Right now, “Failure – not an option” isn’t really reading as a flaw. Flaws are usually something people will judge you for – is she vocal about the could have/would have/should haves? Does she dwell on it for what would probably be longer than "normal"?
Yes this is something she dwells on for a long time it goes inside with never forget. Never forget isn't limited to others but also includes her self failings. The Failure not an option is not something she impresses upon others but is a standard she sets for herself, when she does not meet her own standards for 'something i should have known' or 'something i should have done' she dwells on it. What she would do in this case is go running get this internal frustration out and she does not pay attention where she is going. An example would be a solo plot I would inevitably write for her when she's upset about something and goes running and either plows into someone, or runs across the street without looking and get's hit by a bicycler. Depending on what it is that is bothering her it would again lead into the glass tipped over.
ON THE POWERED SIDE:
For her fuku, you could potentially just leave the (very cute omg) reference you have and ask that the colorist tweak it to fit shop Senshi guidelines, that’s totally acceptable!
That would be awesome!
ON POWERS: My main suggestion is that in order to make it more clearly static electricity, especially for the first two, perhaps make it a contact attack? Like, for the first, Tian Yuan Ti grabs her opponent, says the name of her attack, and bz-zap!
will AIM you to discuss
For the second, again, make it reliant on physical contact? Tian Yuan Ti starts it out by zapping one person, anyone they touch in x amount of time gets zapped, and so on. (And you can take advantage of this by having Tian Yuan Ti knock opponents into each other, possibly!) Perhaps at this stage the shock leaves the opponent with some tingling/numbness? Bad static shocks can do that!
will AIM you to discuss
I think the Eternal attack is fine as is! It is somewhat but not entirely similar to Herse’s (different visuals, different timings, so even though it has similar effects it should be alright).
Until yesterday I didn't know about Herse's character I checked to see if static was taken and made sure that the attacks wee different from Jupiter by pulling inspiration from WoW. Any similarities are purely coincidental.
All the stuff in “special info” as far as conductors/dampeners and extra effects need to be folded into the attacks themselves; however, the conductor/dampener stuff is not something I personally think is necessary. It’s magic static, so it doesn't need to follow regular physics, and in my opinion the best attacks are the simplest!
will AIM you to discuss
If you need any help or clarification my PM box is always open, or IM me at terra.cooper on AIM c: <3
Posted: Fri May 24, 2013 8:47 am
Songstress Kitsune
Hi Song,
I just finished the changes we spoke about last night and that you mentioned in your critique above. Do I need to re post it in the application quest thread or do I just let you know so you can re-read it?
I wanted to note that, while the star is a fine, we're going to request you use it's English name as opposed to the Chinese one.
While we may have had a couple slip by in the past we're making an effort to stick with English names so that people don't get confused and accidentally try to quest for and win characters with the same star without realizing it. It is the same reason we've tried to block people from questing for Chinese constellations. It's just better for general ease and shop uniformity.
Sorry for the inconvience.
Posted: Fri May 24, 2013 10:48 am
Iris_virus
x_x kind of throws a wrench in it since I was working on sailor zaurac which was her friend in a past life (head cannon) x_x
I was hoping because she is Chinese (civilian) with a Chinese name I could keep with the theme.
Sorry, two senshi can't share the same star/comet/asteroid/etc even if that same star goes by multiple names.
If you can find an astrological body that has a Chinese name and no English equivilant whatsoever that 'might' work. But if something has an English name we're always going to ask you to use that one instead.
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