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 Posted: Wed May 01, 2013 8:49 pm
What kind of girl didn't love her birthday? Lydia didn't know, and she didn't think she'd ever want to. Birthdays were fantastic. Celebrating when you came into the world, how much time had passed, and how much you'd learned always made her excited. Plus, it was an excuse to throw a big party, and nobody threw them like Lydia did. Which was probably for the best, considering her ideas of style and coolness.
There was no existing cultural convention for a seventeenth birthday, the way there was for a quinceañera or a sweet sixteen. That didn't stop Lydia from coming up with something. Since none of her parties thus far had focused on any African traditions, she decided to use a mash-up from different cultures. She had Sudanese karkady punch, made from hibiscus flowers, and Ghanan kelewele, or plantain chunks, as part of the menu. The house was decorated with fruit and flowers in the Egyptian tradition, many of which were live, potted plants. Her dress for the evening was white, and cut along simple, classic lines. Everything was ready.
Well, almost everything.
The invites had gone out a couple of weeks before, and Lydia had heard back from most people. But not from Cass. It had been a long time since she'd seen him- too long, since her life had been focused around senshidom and, more recently, her job- but that wasn't because she didn't care about him. This seemed the perfect opportunity for them to reconnect, to get things back to the way they used to be, at least a little. And she wasn't about to let a little thing like his not sending an RSVP get in the way of that.
While the caterers brought things in for that evening's feast, Lydia found a secluded corner and pulled out her phone. Cass' number was stored in her phone, and she quickly pulled up the relevant entry and pressed "talk."
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Posted: Thu May 02, 2013 7:39 pm
Cas was hunched over a notebook at the cheap desk he shared with his current absent brother when his phone buzzed.
It was a rare occurrence these days, and the sudden noise made him jump. He glared at it almost with suspicion like it was a trick before he reached over to grab it, answering it without looking at the name. It wasn't anything from the last two years, a cheap pay as you go phone that didn't have the boon of recent technology that offered a massive picture of whoever was calling in case you didn't want to talk.
"Hello?"
And when he heard the voice on the other line, Cas very much didn't want to talk.
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Posted: Thu May 02, 2013 10:54 pm
For a moment, Lydia was worried that he'd changed his number, or was busy, or just wouldn't answer. Then she heard his voice on the other line, and immediately perked up. "Cass! It's been so long, how are you? How's school going? I can't believe we're almost seniors. It feels like just yesterday when we were graduating from Knightside. But I think I'm ready to be finished with high school, aren't you?"
It didn't matter that Cass didn't want to talk, since Lydia was ready to carry the conversation all by herself.
"So, I'm calling about my party. Oh, I never called you on your birthday, Cass! Happy belated birthday! Did you have a good time? I don't know if you remember or not, but today's my birthday! I sent you an invitation but maybe it didn't get there? The postal service can be less than accurate sometimes. In any event, the party's tonight, and I'd really love it if you could come! It'll be so fun! Please say you can make it!"
Then she paused, finally, waiting for an answer that she fully expected to be positive.
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Posted: Fri May 03, 2013 5:35 am
Cas was silent. If this wasn't by phone his grimace probably would've put an end to things but she couldn't see the fact he was clearly unhappy to hear her voice, and just kept talking.
"Yeah," He finally managed to push out, and it would've been monotone if he didn't sound so hoarse and ragged.
There was another long pause. A looooong, long moment of silence before he finally admitted. "I got it."
And immediately threw it in the trash. He didn't want to be reminded. He didn't know what it was he didn't want to be reminded of, just that the nagging feeling he got when he looked at it was unpleasant.
"No, I'm busy."
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Posted: Sat May 04, 2013 11:40 am
"And I- what? O-oh, I see." If Cass had gotten the invitation, why hadn't he called earlier? That wasn't like him. It was rude and obnoxious, neither of which were words Lydia would use to describe her friend. Still, maybe he'd just been busy and it had slipped his mind. She could understand that, considering how much she had on her plate lately. She'd been meaning to make this call for ages, even before the party came into the picture, but it had been continually put off to make room for other things.
And then, the response, which Lydia frowned at. "You are? Oh no! I was really looking forward to seeing you. Are you sure you can't..." No, she scolded herself, making him rearrange his life for one party was not the right step to take. Nor was making him feel bad about a little scheduling conflict. If she wanted to get their friendship back on track, she needed to be understanding and supportive. "Well, I'm sure you tried," she said with forced cheeriness. "Have you started working? I have- at Maize Maizier, remember, I told you about that restaurant- and I know that juggling work and school-" and certain extracurricular activities to boot- "can be difficult."
What to do, what to do? While Lydia accepted, with difficulty, the fact that Cass was busy, she wasn't ready to let the conversation end. The solution was obvious, really. "In that case, we should do our own celebration! You know, like we used to. That would be better anyway, so we can celebrate both of our birthdays!" Yes, this was perfect! Just the thought of it was making her feel better. "So, when are you free? I have a little bit of wiggle room with my hours- they're very understanding, since I'm still in school and everything. We can plan this around you, Cass!"
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Posted: Sat May 04, 2013 5:00 pm
She wasn't going away. And that was just awful. The long Cas lingered in this conversation the worse it felt. He was starting to hate the ability to feel anything at all, especially since he couldn't figure out if the way her voice made his stomach twist was supposed to be a good thing anymore.
The entire experience was just something he'd like to end right here.
He stayed quiet, he let her talk, only to realize moments later indulging her was probably something he didn't want to do.
"I just--" It caught in his throat and he stopped. And then he took a deep breath and said as clearly and sternly as he could possibly muster, "No, Lyddie."
Oh, s**t, that was too familiar. But he'd already started, it was time to just keep going.
"Look, I don't have time for you, I don't want to see you anymore. And I don't care about your stupid party." He hung up the phone and tossed it about a foot away on his bed, just sort of staring at it in horror.
He was so sure that needed to be done, and instantly afterwords he regretted it. He decided to dive right back into his logs and do his best to forget about it. He was done with Lydia, he was done with that entire chapter of his life, it was time to move on and let go of such silly attachments.
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Posted: Sun May 05, 2013 12:39 pm
For a moment, Lydia really thought that everything was going to be okay. There was a lapse in communication, but surely they'd be able to patch things up. If he was still calling her by her nickname, then things were still salvageable. For that one moment, she was sure of this.
Everything went downhill so fast. Lydia's face went blank as she listened to Cass's outburst, not sure what to say. What could she say? What had happened? "Cass, wait, what's-" There was silence on the other end. Lydia pulled the phone away from her ear and looked at it. Sure enough, the call had been ended. He'd hung up on her!
What on earth was going on?
Lydia punched in the number again. Maybe, she tried to tell herself, the call had just been dropped. The phone rang several times before going to voicemail. Undeterred, she tried again. Maybe he'd been trying to call her while she was trying to call him, and their wires got crossed. Not that cell phones used wires, but that wasn't the point. When that didn't work, she tried again, and again, desperately hoping to hear a voice on the other end.
By the sixth attempted call, the truth finally began to sink in. Cass was ending their relationship. But why? Was he angry? Had she inadvertently done something wrong? It was the only thing she could think of.
Her hands shaking slightly, she tapped a few more buttons on her phone, then began typing a text message. Even if he didn't- wouldn't- answer the phone, he would have to see this.
> Did I do something wrong? Whatever it is, I'm sorry. Please let me try to make it up to you.
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Posted: Sun May 05, 2013 7:01 pm
Cas had done his best to ignore his phone, but when the calls stopped and the text alert dinged he just had to take a look.
And he shouldn't have.
Apparently he wasn't so good at keeping feelings out of the way as he thought because he felt a strange brand of anger well up in his chest and he fought back tears.
This was stupid. This was so stupid, why couldn't she just go away?
He shut his phone in his drawer and spent the rest of the night with his face buried in his pillow.
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Posted: Sun May 05, 2013 8:09 pm
Lydia managed to wait five minutes for a reply. Five minutes full of self-doubt, of wondering what she had done, where things had gone wrong. She just couldn't figure it out. She had been expecting there to be some distance between them, but she was prepared for a small crack, not an impassible ravine. The thought of not being allowed to patch things up just wasn't sinking in.
Unable to take the silence anymore, she typed out another message and hit "Send."
> You're still my friend, Cass. Even if I'm not yours.
And why wasn't she his friend anymore? What right did Cass have to end things like that? It wasn't fair of him to do that. Friendships took teamwork. If she wanted to patch things up, and was willing to put in the effort, he was supposed to at least let her try. To listen to her ideas. The old Cass, the one who didn't hang up on her and refuse her calls, would have done that. It was the old Cass she missed, not the one that was cutting things off.
> Are you okay? Did something happen? I want to help, if I can.
It was possible, of course, that nothing she did would be able to help. That whatever Cass was going through, whatever had made him like this, was something he had to deal with on his own. But Lydia couldn't accept that. As his friend, it was her duty to let him know she was there for him, to listen and help in any way that she could. The fact that he had stopped being a good friend didn't give her an excuse to do the same. Quite the opposite, it gave her a reason to show him what a good friend she could be.
> I know our friendship is stronger than this. Whatever it is, we can work it out.
Could they, really? If her initial instinct had been right, and she had done something wrong, it was possible that Cass would never forgive her. Lydia knew well enough that she was prone to errors. She'd done several things in her life that she wasn't proud of. More still since she had become a senshi. But she was able to recognize all of those things and repent for them. While they didn't make up for her mistakes completely, they went a ways towards patching things up. She couldn't do that if she didn't know what her mistake was.
> I can't understand what's going on unless you explain it to me. What happened?
Why wasn't he answering? This wasn't like Cass at all, and the silence was just making everything worse. Didn't he know how much she cared about him? Hadn't she made that obvious, back when they were at Knightside? Would someone who didn't care keep trying like this? Was he trying to make her panic? If so, he was definitely succeeding.
> I know you're there, Cass. Answer me!
> Ignoring me won't make anything better. I want to help, so please talk to me!
> Don't do this. Please don't do this.
> Cass, don't shut me out like this!
> Please, I can't-
"Ah, is that my Ladybird?" A rich, booming voice echoed through the dining room. Iosif Sfakianos peered into Lydia's niche and beamed. "All this preparation a bit much for you, my dear? I did try to warn you. This party was your idea, so please enjoy it."
Her father's words went completely over Lydia's head for several moments as she stared blankly at her phone. Then she finally noticed his presence, and leaned against him carefully. "Did you say something, Babbas?" She scowled as he shook his head, feigning incomprehension. "I'm seventeen now, Babbas, and I can speak Greek well enough. You won't do this when the party starts, will you?"
Not tonight, no," Iosif relented, stroking Lydia's hair. "But you'll forgive Babbas his little tricks, when they help to create such a lovely young lady. As I'm sure your guests will agree."
At the mention of guests, Lydia froze, her mind still stuck in her last conversation, or what had passed for one. "Excuse me, Babbas. I need to... to check on something." She waited while he kissed the top of her head, then went straight to her room and shut the door, locking it after a moment's thought. The party would start in a few hours. She had other friends, other people who cared about her, who would show her a good time. She knew she would enjoy herself, whether she wanted to or not.
This time, then, would be dedicated to the person who didn't seem to care if she was happy or not. Who hurt her without even trying. Or maybe he did try, who knew? Lydia was clueless, and that just added to her pain. Unable to hold back the tears anymore, she threw herself onto the bed, squeezed one of her pillows tightly, and sobbed until it was time to get ready for the party.
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