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******** THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANNA KILL MYSELF!!!!!!!

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Aoi the Crossdresser

PostPosted: Wed May 01, 2013 12:42 am
I HATE MYSELF I WANNA KILL MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!

I WILL WITH ALCOHOL AND BENADRYL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE MY LIFE RIGHT NOW AND I FEEL THAT EVERYTHING I SEE AND HEAR IS A FAKE ALTERATION OF MY REALITY AND SHOULD END IT RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I MEAN CMON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW DO I KNOW THAT YOU SEE THE SAME WAY AS I DO? HOW DO I KNOW THAT YOU HEAR OR FEEL THE SAME WAY AS I DO? I DOUBT YOU DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DOUBT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I KNOW I AM A FREAK CHOSEN TO SEE THE WORLD WEIRDLY AND I SHOULD SUFFER AGAINST IT AND I CHOSE NOT TO SO I WILL KILL MYSELF OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN"T SUFFER AGAINST IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYTHING I SEE AND KNOW IS FAKE I KNOW IT IS FAKE IT IS ALL FAKE FAKE FAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU ALL ARE FAKE!!!!!!!! GAIA IS FAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY LIFE IS FAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY PARENTS IS FAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYTHING CREATED TO MAKE ME SUFFER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL IS FAKE TO MAKE ME KILL MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! crying I DONT KNOW ANYMORE ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT IS REAL ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!! IS WHAT AM I SEEING REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT ISN"T IT IS FAKE BY MY OWN REALITY!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY CHOSE ME?????????????????? I HATE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM CRYING RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY MAKE ME SUFFER? I KNOW EVERYTING I TOTALLY KNOW IS FAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT ISN"T REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOTHING IS REAL TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH GOD HELP ME  
PostPosted: Wed May 01, 2013 12:45 am
YES I AM CRYING RIGHT NOW WITH TEARS AND THINKING IN CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYTHING I SEE IS FAKE I KNOW IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! crying  

Aoi the Crossdresser


Semok

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PostPosted: Wed May 01, 2013 5:43 am
And people call me immature. xd

Yeah, the world sucks right now and you're in a shitty situation. So's a lot of other people, some of which are in this very guild. The difference is that most people don't throw a hissy fit when things don't work out, and they don't get all emo and complain to the rest of the world, because that won't solve anythin'. Most people keep on truckin'.

I fail to see why you're so upset right now. Compared to many, your life is pretty sweet. You have a roof over your head, a girlfriend, at least some sort of job that pays, and a family and friends that care about you. There are many people in this world that are not so lucky.

I think I speak for many when I say that adulthood is a huge smack in the face. Nothin' can quite prepare you for it. It's a huge change from how you used to function, and all of a sudden a lot more responsibility and problems arise that can be overwhelmin' sometimes.

That's life though. It isn't meant to be easy, or at least the most rewardin' aspects of life aren't. You gotta work for it, and if you do, it'll be worth it in the end.

While I have a feelin' you won't really take any of what I say to heart, I'll still give some advice for anyone who happens to read this, because it seems like times are gettin' very difficult for many people, includin' myself.

My advice is simple: Never lose track of what matters most to you. It may be a philosophy, a religion, a feelin', a memory, a person, etc. Everyone has somethin', though sometimes it takes a while to see. Some people have many things, others have only a few, but we all have somethin' that keeps us goin'. When times get hard, we lose focus of that, and it's easy to go overboard, but if you remember what matters most to you, you can make it through.

This post is gettin' way too long, but I do have a quick story to tell. Whenever I feel down and start to wonder if life is really worth it, I think back to the day one of my cats went missin' for 3 days. I think about how I thought I had lost her forever, and how everyone was convinced that she was dead and gone. Then I think about that moment at 3am in the mornin', when I went outside on a whim to call for her, and the way I felt when I heard her soft squeaky meow respond.
When I think about how I could have never seen her again, but was able to, life doesn't seem so bad anymore, no matter what situation I'm in.



So yeah. In short: Suck it up like the rest of us because life is worth it. xd  
PostPosted: Wed May 01, 2013 11:00 am
I'm just gonna lock this thread because I was really depressed yesterday because of what the stupid school complaints said about me. stare It made me really really horrible and depressed that that is what they think of me.  

Aoi the Crossdresser

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