Not getting pleasure?

[Nutmeg332]

Hey so me and my boyfriend have been sexually active for some time now and each time I find myself having to fake the noises. I know I shouldn't but every time we do something sexually, be it for play or penetration, I'm getting no sexual pleasure from it, if anything I only feel slight uncomfort and sometimes even pain. Is this normal? Or is there something wrong with me?  

[Voldeturtle]

It's pretty normal, yeah. When you do sex, are you getting anything out of it or is it just simply you opening up and him diving in? Maybe change what you're doing for foreplay and how you do the intercourse itself, if you're too used to it or you're just going with what he prefers, because it can get pretty boring doing the same thing over and over. If it's a serious problem for you then maybe talk to your doctor.  

[LorienLlewellyn]

Sex isn't supposed to be painful or uncomfortable. Pain or discomfort is usually a sign that you're too dry, too tense, and/or not aroused enough. So address those things first. Make sure you're well lubricated (grab a water-based lubricant from the store if you're not sure if your body is making enough), comfortable, relaxed, and aroused before there's any penetration. If you still feel pain or discomfort even with all that stuff in order, schedule an ob-gyn appointment to make sure nothing is wrong. And don't fake it. If you lie to your partner about what works for you, then you're a lot less likely to find out what actually does work for you.  

[Nutmeg332]

Okay, thank you for the advice smile  

[Nadira]

Rather than faking it, give your partner a little feedback:

"I liked it when you..." "I would like you to..." "It turns me on when...."


If you are faking it, that tells me that you are uncomfortable during the situation. When you are uncomfortable, your body is too.

More open communication helps ease your body (and his), so you can have a good time.  

[rosenzweig]

Make sure everything's wet enough down there and maybe try some different positions to see if you can find something you like?
Some great ones I'd recommend are doggy, putting your legs over his shoulders in missionary position, you on-top (and arch your back, lean back and forth until you find an angle you like) and him kneeling while you lie on a bed and arch your back and pelvis up to his level.