WC: 913

It was dangerous to love.

It was like playing with fire; you never knew when you were going to get burned, when it would fizzle out, or grow into something you couldn't control.

Yet, it wasn't something he could just keep from doing. He was bound to her, even though she was gone and what was left was someone much darker. When it came to her, he couldn't help it. She was his swan, and he her protector, her knight.

Maybe at one point that had been true. Now… he wasn't so sure.

Months had past since that fated day when she died to give rise to her true calling. In these months, he'd alternated between training among the rocks of the Rift, and keeping up appearances in the real world. He found a balance between training and doing his duties as 'Merric Hollinger,' and no one was really the wiser to what he was doing.

He wasn't even aware of it.

But now, standing in front of the grave, he was oh so aware of what he was doing.

Jarosite pulled his collar closer to his face, headphones cradling his ears and blasting music he didn't hear. His hair fluffed in the breeze, tickling his neck and getting into his eyes. It was probably a stupid idea to be powered up, but the Captain didn't care.

He'd gotten her killed.

No.

He'd killed her. By his own actions. His stupid love, his stupid infatuation had gotten her killed. The one person who had mended his heart, the one person with all of her quirks and expressions that turned him from being a quiet, cold hearted bass player into the loud and lively bass player he was, was dead. Because of him. Oh her body still lived on, but the person who walked around in it now meant absolutely nothing to Merric Hollinger.

He tried. He tried to care for the woman who walked around in her skin and her hair, and used her stupid hair loops. He tried. But every time he saw her, nothing but a sort of kindness and protective feeling washed over him. Even when she was a senshi, she was no longer his senshi, no longer his love.

His jaw clenched, fingers twitching at his sides.

So he avoided her, kept his distance from who been created for her body. He spent hours in the Rift just to keep from seeing her. He patrolled longer than he needed to, he stayed out at school, at the band shops, at gigs he didn't even have anymore. He couldn't stand to look at her, who didn't have her mannerisms, who didn't have her quirks. Who didn't even sound like her even though she spoke with her voice.

He should have never fallen for her. He should have just kept kicking and kept punching and pushed her over a cliff.

Ah… but that would have killed her anyway… a small voice in his mind reminded him. Jarosite snarled, his daggers summoning into his hands. Why, why, WHY did she and her have to be the same person!? Why couldn't have she just been some civilian, not even in the fight? Why why why whywhywhywhywhywhywhy.

"WHY!?" His voice echoed off the graveyard dully, but the bass player found no comfort in the sound. He sounded like a love torn schmuck in a movie who couldn't change his fate.

Fate is a cruel mistress, is it not, Jarosite? He snarled again, his legs twitching to kick something. He trembled, pent up rage and anger flowing through his veins. He needed to kick something, to hurt, to bring pain. He ground his teeth and snarled again.

It was White Moon magic or some s**t like that had done this. She'd been destroyed simply because of the side she'd been on. Something must have gone wrong… Something must have. That had to be it. It had to be. There was no other explanation as to why the entirety of her would have been destroyed. When he was corrupted he didn’t loose anything. But he’d been just a regular civilian, not one of the powereds. Maybe it was different for those who already had power.

But didn't she greet corruption like an old friend? Maybe she wanted to forget everythi--

"SHUT UP!" He vibrated, itching for a fight but sensing no one around him. Going looking for a fight was out of the question; it would just get him killed in this state. Or worse: seen as a sympathizer again when he ran out of steam and slumped into a pile of tears.

Never again. He was never going to sympathize with anyone who didn’t have Chaos running through their veins. It only every brought ruin and pain. They needed to pay for what they’d done to her… didn’t they? But, he wasn’t strong enough, not yet, not to enact the justice he wanted. Not to do what his heart wanted him to do. He was just a love sick Captain, who’s too weak to do anything on his own, and couldn’t even protect what matters the most to him.

His knuckles burned as he gripped his daggers tighter. Hard mercury filled eyes regarded the tombstone for a moment. A fire burned within them, a fire mirrored in his heart. He bowed his head and then he vanished in shift of the breeze.

"…I will avenge you… Odey…"

But first. A date with the Rift.