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Seiji was coming back today. It'd been two weeks since he left, and in those two weeks she had felt such a roller coaster of emotion. She went from being okay with it one day to being sad about it the next; being angry to feeling despair, and then finally realization and acceptance. She felt...almost numb. Nuk's company had been helpful, he knew how she felt right now...why had she not gone to him to begin with? She probably would have had she not come upon Mac the day after Scarentine's. Or maybe she wouldn't have gone to him at all, maybe she would have just kept shoving these feelings under the rug for as long as she could handle. Could she have gone on like this for much longer? Maybe she could have eventually gotten over it, forgotten she was unhappy and found new reasons to be happy. But then a thought crossed her mind; that was exactly what her mother had done.

Her father locked himself away in his study, counting his seeds all day, while her mother just ignored it and acted like everything was okay. Junko couldn't handle it when she'd realized her situation looked eerily similar to that. Sure, Seiji could eventually stop being a hermit..

But what if he never did? What if he got so comfortable like this he never stopped? The thought alone was enough to send her over the edge. She had made her decision, but that fear just strengthened her shaky resolve.

It hadn't been a lie when Junko told Seiji a class she couldn't skip had come up when he would be arriving from home, but really she could have skipped it if she really wanted to. She had spent the entire class checking her phone for texts and the clock for the time. He would be here soon. He would be here soon. When would she do it? How? Right when he returned? Would she wait a little while? She knew she shouldn't drag this out but at the same time she was dreading this so much. How would Seiji take it? Would he be understanding? Upset? Angry? Would he cry? Would he show any emotion at all? Junko was scared.

Was it always this hard?

Finally the class ended and Junko slowly made her way back to her room, staring at her eyephone with an unsent text to Seiji waiting for her to send it.

Send it..

Just. Send it.



The text was sent and Junko stared at it. He was probably going to want to see her.



She'd reached her room by then, putting her books on the table and sitting on her bed. She curled up on her side and waited for his answer, a small frown on her lips. You're not doing this because you don't care about him, Junko. Just remember that.

Junko read the first text and felt fine, but the second text made her heart skip a beat.

And not in the good way.

He wanted to go out. He never wanted to go out. Why today? Why now? She couldn't do this in public. No. She couldn't. She didn't want to. What if one of them caused a scene? She didn't want either of them to be embarrassed of their actions around strangers. People talked.

This was going to be the worst day ever.



Maybe she could still save this..

Oh, the cemetery wasn't a bad place to go. It wasn't a terribly busy place like a restaurant or something. Junko sighed with relief and nodded despite being alone in her room with her minipets. The cemetery worked.



Text sent, Junko pocketed her phone and headed out. Why couldn't there be an easier way to di this? A handbook or something. Maybe she should've asked other people how they did it.

Sigh.

When Junko arrived at the cemetery gates she stopped there, waiting nervously for her boilfriend to arrive. How should she act? Completely normal? Welcome home! I hope you had a nice trip! Oh by the way we should break up...

Yeaaaah no that didn't sound like a good idea at all.

There he was. Her boilfriend. Junko's heart raced with an anxiety as he approached her and picked her up, though she smiled for his benefit. The kiss the cheek was returned before she was set down on her feet again, letting Seiji take her hand. "Welcome home~. I missed you too." It was true. Despite her decision she did miss him while he was gone. "Aw, they're too kind." Junko giggled. Would they hate her after this too? They were the nicest people she'd ever been able to call mom and dad before. It had been nice...

His apology interrupted her thoughts and Junko looked up at him. "Oh, don't apologize. It happens. I'd failed to realize just how soon it was coming up myself! Don't worry, it's just a day." She was fine, really. She had been angry before but she was over it.

"Of course we can." Junko smiled, leading Seiji into the cemetery. She was so nervous. When should she do it? Now? A few minutes from now? Would there be a sign? She had no idea. What was the etiquette for breaking up with a boilfriend of two years who you could tell just looking at you was still as in love with you now as he was before?

I'm he worst ghoulfriend ever, she thought to herself with a small frown.

"Sooooo.." Junko began lamely. "what'd you do on your trip? Anything fun or were you a lazy bum at your parents' house for a few weeks?" She teased affectionately in a desperate hope that maybe if she did this lightheartedly he wouldn't be so upset, that maybe they could continue to be friends after this.

It was a desperate thought.

Eh? Junko blinked and gave Seiji a confused look when he stopped her and explained he needed to talk to his parents. Was he..going to change his ways? Maybe..

Maybe it would be okay. Junko actually smiled an actually happy smile now, her hopes renewed. Maybe they didn't have to break up! They could finally go out on dates! With the new student council being elected and her not running for it everything would be okay! Sure she would still be busy with Lizzy and working toward graduation but that would be okay, right?

There was a small box in his hand.

Junko's heart stopped. She and Lizzy had watched enough romance movies together to know exactly what that box and those words together led to. A year ago she might have been screaming with joy, throwing herself at him and shouting 'yes!' over and over. A year ago she wouldn't have had to hide the terror in her eyes, the guilt in her heart as she looked upon the box.

Did she want to get married? They had missed out on so much time just...dating. And they were both still in school. She wasn't...she wasn't ready. Seiji...he deserved better than her.

Someone who can marry him and give him lots of scarelings and a well kept house with a black barbed fence. Junko's heart felt too tight in her chest. She couldn't breathe. That was answer enough for her; to have such a negative reaction to something that should have been the greatest moment in her life to date was a clear answer to her that marriage was not the best decision for herself. And it wouldn't be fair to Seiji if she lied and said yes, and then postponed the date indefinitely until a time when she was ready.

It would save so much heartache if she just..

"S-Seiji.." Junko was trying to speak, but there was a lump in her throat preventing her from properly getting words out.

Anything Seiji said could barely be heard through the fog that was Junko's mind. What now? What could she do? She had no idea he wanted to propose! Sure hey had playfully and sometimes seriously discussed marriage and scarelings but that had all been in theory. It had all been for after schooling, after getting settled...when they were adults.

She was still just a child..as was he.

Finally the increasingly dreadful question shoved through the fog and to her ears. A few tears escaped her eyes and rolled down her cheeks while she scrambled for an answer. He wanted a yes. Give him a yes. He wanted a yes..!

"Seiji I..." Junko's chest was too tight, her head was swimming. She could practically hear her blood pumping in her head. How was she even standing right now? Her face felt too hot. Oh Jack did her eyes burn with unshed tears..

She cleared her throat, fighting the lump inside it. "I..I love you a-and I..I care very much for you. You've made me happy a-and I...I just.." Say it. Give him the yes he wants. Do what makes someone else happy, Junko. Like you always do.

Junko couldn't look at him. She couldn't look at that hopeful face so full of love and adoration just for her and no one else, that face that didn't seem to realize how she was feeling.

"I..I can't.." Junko choked out, bowing her head and clenching her fists at her sides.

"I-I'm so--so--" Junko choked on her own words, tears streaming down her face. She couldn't look at him. She couldn't do this. I can't...believe you took so long to ask! I can't see myself without you! I can't...I can't...

None of those words would leave her mouth.

Junko rubbed her eyes to try and rid them of tears but none of it worked. "I know wh-what we talked abou-out but I..I can't.." She had no idea how to do this. She couldn't believe she hadn't seen this coming. When Junko thought of being married it was in a future where she was a success, where she could provide for her husband and her scarelings, where they would want for nothing because their mother was able to give them their heart's desires. It was a fantasy the complete opposite of her own upbringing.

She was far from ready to be married.

"It's not be-because I..." Words. Words. She needed words. "It wouldn't be fair to you...if I said yes right now. I just..I can't give you what you deserve. I've barely had time for you a-and when I graduate we'll barely see each other because you'll still be here and I can't give you what you deserve--" oh wait she'd already said that. "I'm not as ready as I thought I was to be married a-and I just.." This was every bit as hard as she thought it would be. Junko finally forced herself to look up at Seiji and the sight nearly broke her.

Her knees buckled and instead of reaching for Seiji she grabbed onto the nearest tombstone to catch her balance. "I'm so sorry, Seiji..I...I had no idea you..."

Were it physically for Junko's heart to fall to the ground and shatter at the sight before her, now might be that time. It was so painful to watch him try and come to terms with what she was saying. It was going...better than she had anticipated. He was just accepting it? That was it? Okay? Not much more fighting than--oh...she hadn't explained it well enough.

Junko never did handle emotional turmoil well. Any argument they had she usually ended up losing simply because she could never find the words to properly convey what was going through her mind and how she was feeling; anything she said came off the wrong way. She didn't want to hurt Seiji but it was unavoidable. This was going to hurt both of them. Her fingers were turning white from holding the tombstone so tightly.

"" Junko whispered, unable to get the words out in English anymore. She couldn't do it. Her head hurt, her heart hurt. "" It was easier when she didn't have to think of the words. She'd seen the way he'd reached out for her, and honestly she hadn't reached to him because she'd thought touching him would make this harder. "" She was going to have to say it.

She didn't want to say it.

Junko almost wished she could be doing this because she hated Seiji. This would be so much easier. She wouldn't feel like she was ripping out her own heart.

""