|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 11:09 am
Name: Kalesje Thorvald
Nickname: Kally
Age: 19
Birthday: May 5th, 1993
Sign: Taurus
Gemstone: Kunzite
Blood Type: B+
Fav. Food: Tacos, burritos, enchiladas. Kally is a huge fan of Latin American cuisine. Oddly she is also really into venison.
Hated Food: Beets. Seriously, they turn your mouth red.
School: Sovereign Heights
Hobbies:
Volleyball -- She’s been playing since elementary school physical education, been playing on a team since her middle school junior varsity years, was incredibly active towards promoting and playing for the Meadowview team, and even plays for the SH team. Court volleyball, beach volleyball, doesn’t matter to her! She really looks up to Misty May-Treanor and when she can, is back at Meadowview helping coach her old team.
Hunting -- One of the things Kally and her dad did quite a lot before her parents’ divorce was go deer hunting together. She can shoot a rifle but prefers to hunt with bow and arrow. Since the divorce and her father’s moving away they don’t get to go together as much but she tries to go at least one weekend out of the season every year. It makes her sad that she can’t go as often as she would like to, so instead she actually goes indoors to practice on an archery range to keep her skills sharp. The worst thing in the world is missing your shot when it counts!
Being Outside -- If it’s not raining or snowing, Kalesje is outside. She is the last person you will see sitting inside on a nice day. She is the last person you will see sitting inside on a bad day. She’s the kind of person who always takes a window seat in class so that she can be as close to the outdoors as she can get, preferring to spend hours soaking up that Vitamin D and being in the fresh air. Jogging, swimming, volleyball, sitting around talking, it doesn’t really matter what it is because Kally will do anything she can to get outside. Her apartment has a patio that faces the afternoon sun and she will almost never go inside to do anything if she can do it out there. One of her biggest regrets is that her home has a roof.
It’s rare that she has nothing to do but she will then just go lay down and sleep in the sun.
Virtues:
Your Needs Over Mine -- For those that she respects, cares about, or even thinks is worth making smile Kalesje will do almost anything she’s asked. Helping you study on the weekends? Sure, as long as you don’t mind doing it at a picnic table. Need company on an errand? She’s there! Need to plan a party? Totally ahead of you. It doesn’t matter how busy her schedule might be, if there is something that needs to be done for someone else she will absolutely do it as soon as she possibly can. Why is this extrinsic motivation? Because if she does what you ask, she gets praised. You keep being her friend because she helped you with something! She gets the rewards of your companionship and good feeling. It doesn’t occur to Kally that she’s deliberately being a good person who enjoys being helpful, it’s just something she does.
Utterly Humorous -- Kally loves to laugh. She’d rather laugh than do anything else with her voice be it singing, crying, or any of it. Of course she’s also not entirely willing to sit and wait around for someone else to provide the laughs; she’s a prankster as well as a good-natured tease. Nothing beats a fantastic joke, a well-placed riff, or a harmless prank. Emphasis on the harmless! Kalesje isn’t in the business of putting people down for laughs. It’s just not her thing.
Gotta Keep Moving -- If it weren’t obvious, this young woman is incredibly motivated to be moving at all times. When she was a child it wore her poor parents out with her need to constantly be on the move, to be doing something be it running, dancing, biking, and thankfully when she discovered volleyball it channeled all of that. Now she’s very invested in helping others find that athletic passion in their lives, getting them active so that they can get happy, get healthy, and get moving. Though getting moving, athletically, is her focus she is a passionate young woman who wants everyone to be just as passionate as she is. If you ever need someone to help convince you to go for your dream, to shoot for the stars, to try something you’d never done before...Kally has the passion and is willing to loan it out!
Flaws:
Extrinsically Motivated -- Kalesje is very bad at doing things for herself. That doesn’t mean things like cooking or doing laundry, though they can sometimes fall to the wayside if someone is asking for her help, she just doesn’t really take the opportunity to do things for the sake of doing them. She requires the approval, direction, and pressure of the people in her life to get anything important done! Idly mentioning things to Kally, or hoping that she will do what needs doing without saying anything won’t fly with her. If you need something done you’re going to have to ask. Why is this extrinsic motivation? Because if she does what you ask, she gets praised. If you were nagging her, well you’re not nagging anymore are you? Kally doesn’t do things because she herself wants to do them 90% of the time, but does it because she’s getting something from someone else even if that something is as minor as silence.
Cynical, Hypocritical -- Ironically, or perhaps as an extension of her own self-awareness, Kally doesn’t think very positively about humanity as a whole. She’s the kind of person who, if she actually sits around long enough to hear current events, will bemoan that the apocalypse is coming. Humanity is a collective of incredibly dumb people who can’t see far enough past their own noses (or self-interests) in order to get things done. Though if you asked her the last time she voted was, she’d suddenly change the subject. Kally wants to see change in the world; she just doesn’t have the motivation to do anything about it.
To someone who is involved, who does care, this can be incredibly frustrating! It’s one of those times when the extrinsic motivation of shutting you up just doesn’t work. She will blather on and on until she’s blue in the face about how she feels everything is going straight to Hell in a handbasket until you forcibly change the topic. Don’t get into a political, humanistic debate with Kalesje. Not only will you not win, you will have to then deal with her fire and brimstone approach for the rest of the day.
Emotionally Demanding -- Part of the problem with needing so much outside motivation as well as having so much damn energy makes Kalesje rather demanding on those people in her life. Being alone isn’t really a thing she can handle and if she is, she’ll be just a little lost and aimless without someone helping order her day. It has quite a bit to do with the fact that her parents didn’t much parent, preferring to let their child govern herself but also just has to do with the fact that Kally is tireless. She needs a lot of time, a lot of attention, a lot of...everything.
It’s exhausting!
Certainly she blames herself somewhat for her parents’ divorce because she was too needy, can’t seem to stop being needy, and does tend to go through a few friends who can’t handle her demands on their time. Does she give a lot back? Absolutely! But apparently it’s a ‘you must give to get’ sort of situation. Conscious situation? No. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist...
PHYSICAL DESCRIPTIONf
Eyes: Electric blue.
Hair: Kally has the perfect hair. It's thick, lustrous, has she been on any Pantene commercials? She spends inordinate amounts of time styling and taking care of her hair. It is honey blond and falls below her waist but above her butt.
Face: A little on the chubby-cheeked side it gives her a sweet, honest looking face. Don’t be fooled by it.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Apr 18, 2013 10:01 pm
Hey, Nessy! Sorry for the delay in getting this out to you! Reading over this profile has made me strangely hungry [Kally has good taste in food!] but let me get down to business!
The first thing I notice is pretty minor, but comparing her age and birthday, they don't quite match up! If she was born May 5th 1994, she wouldn't be nineteen until next month! Which isn't an issue at all if you are getting her on/after May 5th, but since it's so minor, I just wondered if she was turning 19 or 20!
For her hobbies:
Volleyball -- This looks good to me, though I don't think it's fair to say that Kalesje was the captain of the Meadowview volleyball team for two years given that this is an established school. There are other characters who currently play and have been playing volleyball, and I don't think Kalesje is old enough that she wouldn't have been at Meadowview at the time they were.
Hunting --I think this could be really exciting, though I wanted to clarify—this is something she does rarely? If this isn't something she is doing fairly often, I'm not sure if this counts as a hobby. Going out only one weekend of the season seems more like a tradition she upholds rather than something she can be found doing fairly often. Even if she is only going out for sport once-ish a year, I think there are other things she could do to contribute to this hobby, such as: Does she participate in other hunting type activities that might consume more of her time? Does she: invest in rifles/bows and arrows, go to a place where she can practice her marksmanship, watch educational shows on the sport, etc? If this isn't a hobby she is dabbling in at least once a week, I might suggest adding removing it as a hobby on its own and instead add in this blurb under her 'Being Outside' hobby.
Being Outside --I want to say this could be a hobby [as there are a lot of outdoors-y type activities to partake in!] but I'm reading the description, it seems more closely related to her climate preference than an actual hobby. I think this could be remedied if there was a bit more attention on what she is actually doing outside; does she just like nature? /Is she the type to go on nature walks/go fishing/hike/look at wildlife/etc. Later in her profile you mention that she plays a lot of sports/is very energetic and active; is she the type who wants to spend all day outside working out energy/playing sports? Would she rather sunbathe, or read books or have picnics or clean up the environment? [This might be me just being a little overcurious about her, but when I am glancing over profiles for people to RP with, I usually skim the hobbies to see if there is anything specific that my character might also be interested in so that there is some sort of starting ground. There is so much to do outside, so I was wondering where her major interests lay!]
Virtues:
Extrinsically Motivated, Positive -- The title of this trait is a bit perplexing to me; to be extrinsically motivated means to want to do things only because of the expectation of being rewarded afterwards. I don't think being extrinsically motivated is necessarily a virtue [but if I am mistaken, please feel free to help me see what I'm missing!] but I also don't feel like this is what the trait is describing. From the description, I feel like this trait might be better titled something along the lines of helpful since she is so willing to drop what she is doing and help others.
Utterly Humorous -- This sounds good to me! Being able to keep the mood light hearted sounds like a good trait to have! She seems like a fun person to hang around and I am interested to see how her cynicism affects her humor!
Athletically Motivated -- One thing that concerns me about this is that in terms of virtues, it is very specific [as opposed to a trait that is applicable in a wide variety of situations]. I feel like helping others find their passion in athletics might be more of a hobby due to the specific nature of this trait. In reading the description, I feel like I can pick up a lot of possible virtues—energetic, motivational, passionate—that seem to be in line with the character you are describing here but are applicable to a wider variety of situations [but please feel free to correct me if I am misreading anything!]
Flaws:
Extrinsically Motivated, Negative -- I definitely see how being extrinsically motivated could be a flaw, and Kalesje needing approval/direction/pressure seems like it could weigh heavily on her ability to do certain tasks. The only thing I am concerned about is the same thing I mentioned before—that extrinsically motivated isn't the impression that I'm getting from this description. This doesn't read so much as being extrinsically motivated [in which I would assume she did things for praise, recognition, boosting her social status/etc] as it does that she is just indecisive/lazy/bored or too indifferent to work on anything without someone pushing her along—which seems to be a really important flaw considering it is referenced a few more times. If you are going to keep this flaw as extrinsically motivated, can I have a little more clarification on that flaw instead of the other traits of hers that seem to be described here? [Though, I think that if you changed the title of the flaw, it would probably work without needing any tweaks to the description!]
Cynical, Hypocritical -- cynical and hypocritical both have merits as flaws, and I can see how Kalesje could possess both qualities, however as is, I'm not sure which of the two this is supposed to encompass, and the trait seems to mostly describe how she is lazy and ignorant on current affairs. I think there's a lot going on here, so I'm just not certain where to focus. If she is a cynic, I'm curious to know how her cynicism affects those around her; do they get annoyed with her negativity? How much of her can they stand if she thinks everyone is motivated by self-interest? How do the people around her react to her doubts about their motivation? Is she constantly putting down ideas and people and plans because she doesn't think they are worthwhile?
If she is hypocritical, how does this negatively affect her life? Does her hypocrisy cause her friends to distrust her opinions/do they not rely on her? Does she ever talk herself into a hole with her hypocrisy [and if so, how does she work her way out/what happens afterwards?] Does her hypocrisy ever put stress on her for trying to live up to her fake feelings/does she ever overwhelm herself by trying to be or be seen as someone she's not?
Demanding -- I think demanding is definitely a flaw! This one looks pretty good, though I am curious—how does she go about demanding things? Does she come across as clingy and obnoxious because she always needs someone there? How much does she expect from her friends, and are there any consequences if they can't deliver the amount of attention she needs?
One thing I notice in Kalesje's flaws is that there is a lot of information here, but a lot of it doesn't necessarily relate to the personality trait and how it affects her life and how people perceive her. When I am writing flaws, I find it really helpful to imagine that you are gossiping about someone. In this, it helps to not only identify what the flaw is, but also how people perceive the character and why it is a negative trait. For example, reading over Kalesje's demanding flaw, I have learned that she needs outside motivation, has a lot of energy, and can't handle being alone, but I don't really know how being demanding affects her life or those around her. If I were gossiping, I might say things like, "She's frustrating because she has lot of expectations that normal people can't meet. She thinks that because she has all this energy that everyone else ought to. If you don't keep up with her, she can get really mean and will pick on you, so it's best to go along with whatever she wants because if you don't, she gets really cruel. Plus, she's really clingy about it. If she's bored or lonely, she latches onto you either humor her or tell her to get lost." Which is all hypothetical and might not be how Kalesje is at all! She might be demanding but there are many different ways for her to express this trait, so a little elaboration can make a huge difference in how people might read her profile! I just think it's easier to help expand on the trait if you are thinking about what it is she does that people don't like [or, for virtues, instead of gossip, praise! I like to imagine something like telling your best friend about how amazing your crush is and then trying to describe why/how they are so perfect]. It might not work for everyone, but when it comes to fleshing out traits, it has something that has helped me, so I thought I might share!
I know this is a wall of text with a lot of questions, so I apologize if I've talked in circles or made anything confusing! If you have any questions, comments or make any changes, please give me a quote and I'll be back as soon as possible!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 7:09 am
Will get to work on this asap~
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 8:04 am
Kyuseisha no Hikari Hey, Nessy! Sorry for the delay in getting this out to you! Reading over this profile has made me strangely hungry [Kally has good taste in food!] but let me get down to business! The first thing I notice is pretty minor, but comparing her age and birthday, they don't quite match up! If she was born May 5th 1994, she wouldn't be nineteen until next month! Which isn't an issue at all if you are getting her on/after May 5th, but since it's so minor, I just wondered if she was turning 19 or 20! She is turning Nessy Can't Add. It's a rare, mysterious age that everyone turns every now and then when she forgets you don't automatically age on January 1st of every year. She is turning 20 this year. For her hobbies: Quote: Volleyball -- This looks good to me, though I don't think it's fair to say that Kalesje was the captain of the Meadowview volleyball team for two years given that this is an established school. There are other characters who currently play and have been playing volleyball, and I don't think Kalesje is old enough that she wouldn't have been at Meadowview at the time they were. Fixed. Quote: Hunting --I think this could be really exciting, though I wanted to clarify—this is something she does rarely? If this isn't something she is doing fairly often, I'm not sure if this counts as a hobby. Going out only one weekend of the season seems more like a tradition she upholds rather than something she can be found doing fairly often. Even if she is only going out for sport once-ish a year, I think there are other things she could do to contribute to this hobby, such as: Does she participate in other hunting type activities that might consume more of her time? Does she: invest in rifles/bows and arrows, go to a place where she can practice her marksmanship, watch educational shows on the sport, etc? If this isn't a hobby she is dabbling in at least once a week, I might suggest adding removing it as a hobby on its own and instead add in this blurb under her 'Being Outside' hobby. Well the reason I put it there is because it's actually very important to Kally. The season is rarely more than two months out of the year which only leaves eight weekends in which to go bow hunting and she's actually really very busy! She and her dad used to go several times, almost every weekend, but the point is that she can't go as much as she wanted because her dad isn't in town anymore. It makes her very sad! I added in a bit about her practicing indoors so maybe that helps? Quote: Being Outside --I want to say this could be a hobby [as there are a lot of outdoors-y type activities to partake in!] but I'm reading the description, it seems more closely related to her climate preference than an actual hobby. I think this could be remedied if there was a bit more attention on what she is actually doing outside; does she just like nature? /Is she the type to go on nature walks/go fishing/hike/look at wildlife/etc. Later in her profile you mention that she plays a lot of sports/is very energetic and active; is she the type who wants to spend all day outside working out energy/playing sports? Would she rather sunbathe, or read books or have picnics or clean up the environment? [This might be me just being a little overcurious about her, but when I am glancing over profiles for people to RP with, I usually skim the hobbies to see if there is anything specific that my character might also be interested in so that there is some sort of starting ground. There is so much to do outside, so I was wondering where her major interests lay!] Elaborated. Virtues: Quote: Extrinsically Motivated, Positive -- The title of this trait is a bit perplexing to me; to be extrinsically motivated means to want to do things only because of the expectation of being rewarded afterwards. I don't think being extrinsically motivated is necessarily a virtue [but if I am mistaken, please feel free to help me see what I'm missing!] but I also don't feel like this is what the trait is describing. From the description, I feel like this trait might be better titled something along the lines of helpful since she is so willing to drop what she is doing and help others. Changed the name, clarified some. Quote: Athletically Motivated -- One thing that concerns me about this is that in terms of virtues, it is very specific [as opposed to a trait that is applicable in a wide variety of situations]. I feel like helping others find their passion in athletics might be more of a hobby due to the specific nature of this trait. In reading the description, I feel like I can pick up a lot of possible virtues—energetic, motivational, passionate—that seem to be in line with the character you are describing here but are applicable to a wider variety of situations [but please feel free to correct me if I am misreading anything!] Changed the name, added on a bit. Flaws: Quote: Extrinsically Motivated, Negative -- I definitely see how being extrinsically motivated could be a flaw, and Kalesje needing approval/direction/pressure seems like it could weigh heavily on her ability to do certain tasks. The only thing I am concerned about is the same thing I mentioned before—that extrinsically motivated isn't the impression that I'm getting from this description. This doesn't read so much as being extrinsically motivated [in which I would assume she did things for praise, recognition, boosting her social status/etc] as it does that she is just indecisive/lazy/bored or too indifferent to work on anything without someone pushing her along—which seems to be a really important flaw considering it is referenced a few more times. If you are going to keep this flaw as extrinsically motivated, can I have a little more clarification on that flaw instead of the other traits of hers that seem to be described here? [Though, I think that if you changed the title of the flaw, it would probably work without needing any tweaks to the description!] The extrinsic motivation is the approval of her friends when she does the proper action. Extrinsic motivation is when you are motivated by external factors, as opposed to the internal drivers of intrinsic motivation. Approval of her friends, escaping the nagging, that's her extrinsic motivation. Kally doesn't do things because she herself wants to do them but because by doing them, she gains praise or eliminates nagging. I did clarify why it's called that, though. Quote: Cynical, Hypocritical -- cynical and hypocritical both have merits as flaws, and I can see how Kalesje could possess both qualities, however as is, I'm not sure which of the two this is supposed to encompass, and the trait seems to mostly describe how she is lazy and ignorant on current affairs. I think there's a lot going on here, so I'm just not certain where to focus. If she is a cynic, I'm curious to know how her cynicism affects those around her; do they get annoyed with her negativity? How much of her can they stand if she thinks everyone is motivated by self-interest? How do the people around her react to her doubts about their motivation? Is she constantly putting down ideas and people and plans because she doesn't think they are worthwhile? If she is hypocritical, how does this negatively affect her life? Does her hypocrisy cause her friends to distrust her opinions/do they not rely on her? Does she ever talk herself into a hole with her hypocrisy [and if so, how does she work her way out/what happens afterwards?] Does her hypocrisy ever put stress on her for trying to live up to her fake feelings/does she ever overwhelm herself by trying to be or be seen as someone she's not? Elaborated a bit but not still sure what you're looking for me to add. She's not lazy and ignorant about current events, the 'sitting still' bit was that she isn't usually inside long enough to see a tv. But when she is, and say there was a shooting or a bombing on the news (and there always is), she would immediately start spouting off about how we're all going to Hell in a handbasket, humanity is its own worst enemy, etc etc. The hypocracy is that though she thinks the world is going to Hell she does nothing to proactively change it. If you asked her when she last voted, when she last got involved with a cause, she'd have to change the subject because she can't tell you! She's never voted, never gotten involved, but is apparently SO UPSET at what is going on. Quote: Demanding -- I think demanding is definitely a flaw! This one looks pretty good, though I am curious—how does she go about demanding things? Does she come across as clingy and obnoxious because she always needs someone there? How much does she expect from her friends, and are there any consequences if they can't deliver the amount of attention she needs? Elaborated. Quote: One thing I notice in Kalesje's flaws is that there is a lot of information here, but a lot of it doesn't necessarily relate to the personality trait and how it affects her life and how people perceive her. When I am writing flaws, I find it really helpful to imagine that you are gossiping about someone. In this, it helps to not only identify what the flaw is, but also how people perceive the character and why it is a negative trait. For example, reading over Kalesje's demanding flaw, I have learned that she needs outside motivation, has a lot of energy, and can't handle being alone, but I don't really know how being demanding affects her life or those around her. If I were gossiping, I might say things like, "She's frustrating because she has lot of expectations that normal people can't meet. She thinks that because she has all this energy that everyone else ought to. If you don't keep up with her, she can get really mean and will pick on you, so it's best to go along with whatever she wants because if you don't, she gets really cruel. Plus, she's really clingy about it. If she's bored or lonely, she latches onto you either humor her or tell her to get lost." Which is all hypothetical and might not be how Kalesje is at all! She might be demanding but there are many different ways for her to express this trait, so a little elaboration can make a huge difference in how people might read her profile! I just think it's easier to help expand on the trait if you are thinking about what it is she does that people don't like [or, for virtues, instead of gossip, praise! I like to imagine something like telling your best friend about how amazing your crush is and then trying to describe why/how they are so perfect]. It might not work for everyone, but when it comes to fleshing out traits, it has something that has helped me, so I thought I might share! I know this is a wall of text with a lot of questions, so I apologize if I've talked in circles or made anything confusing! If you have any questions, comments or make any changes, please give me a quote and I'll be back as soon as possible! You actually hit her on the head pretty well in that gossiping section so I'm not really sure that I'm doing this wrong haha. I tried to do all the changes within reason so hopefully it all reads okay now.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Apr 20, 2013 3:27 pm
Thank you very much for the extra info and clarification! Everything checks out for me, so I'm going to drop a stamp. Enjoy playing her!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
