A'stor
Name: A'stor, formerly Alastor
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Craft/Rank: Watchrider
Appearance: A'stor is a big bear of a man; at about 6'5, there's a lot he sees the very tops of. He's broad, as well, and it's clear that when he was a teenager he was capable of ripping a lot of things apart and, though it's faded a little bit as he's aged, not a whole lot about that has changed. If seen from behind or if one doesn't look up to glance at his face (or if one is particularly frail and afraid of being broken), A'stor can seem quite intimidating.
His face tends to ruin that. His usual expression is a smile or some kind, to some degree, enough that lines on his face are more than starting to appear. His eyes - hazel, with a tendency to appear more green than brown - are frequently lit with amusement or happiness at something or another. Of course, if his expression is serious, that tends to mean something is wrong - even though that's not a very good measure, due to A'stor's propensity to laugh if unnerved or uncomfortable.
His posture doesn't do a lot either; he tends to try to downplay how tall and broad he is. He frequently has his shoulders slumped and is slouching (until Krissy pressures him to stand up straight), trying to look harmless and weak, like he knows he actually is. This, in recent years, has led to him occasionally complaining his spine and neck hurt.
Personality: A'stor is a lot of things but, unfortunately, tries to be a lot of things he isn't. In actuality, A'stor is usually about as harmless as they come, excepting accidental damage from misuse of his strength, and always tries to ignore what's going awfully in his life for what he prefers looking at. He's got a bleeding heart, too, and is easily swayed by any realistic enough sob story - after all, he wants to believe the best in people and, as such, tends to assume they're telling the truth until they start pushing the limits of sensemaking and plausibility. He's hard to ruffle - at least when it comes to angering him - and prefers to sit back and let things happen. After all, there are plenty of people to get mad about things. A'stor doesn't need to be one of them.
What does bother him is people hurting things he likes. And he really, really likes Kr'stof. Which means when people upset Krissy or hurt him or do anything that A'stor knows Krissy doesn't like ... he wants to break them. See, A'stor is well aware of how big he is and how strong he is - well aware, due to countless incidents where he exerted more force than was technically necessary - and while he's generally as harmless as a kitten blindly exploring the world, he knows how to hurt when he wants to. Upsetting Krissy makes him want to. But sometimes, even when he's not angry, A'stor tries to seem as though he could be a threat. After all, maybe if he looks threatening enough - maybe if he's scary enough - people won't make him need to get angry. Sadly, due to the fact that he's (again) about as mean as a kitten, if this front is pushed or if he's pressed to back up his bark, he tends to crumple.
A'stor doesn't tend to do very much talking (though when he does, it tends to be either soothing or snarky with very little in between) and is one for watching; after all, when he's around Krissy, Krissy's capable of doing more than enough talking for the both of them. He serves better, he's aware, as silent muscle. It's the only way he can manage to be intimidating. Talking usually means that: 1) there's no Krissy about to speak for him; or 2) the situation is important enough that he needs to open his mouth. The words that come out are often snarky (though this tends to be reserved, by and large, for Kr'stof, with whom he feels comfortable) or gently spoken and quiet, almost enough that they don't fit coming from his huge frame. If he's uncomfortable, upset, or otherwise unsettled short of getting angry, A'stor tends to show it by laughing. He doesn't really mean to, not exactly, he just ... laughs. It's usually hesitant or obviously awkward laughter, but he laughs all the same. Of course, it's the same polite "that-joke-wasn't-funny-but-okay" laugh that pretty much everyone does, so it's hard to know - or even tell - if an ill-timed joke made him upset or just wasn't funny.
A'stor likes to make friends - really, he loves them, loves meeting new people - and, rather unfortunately, has a loyal streak as strong as he is. He doesn't back down when he's made a friend and is more than a bit headstrong when it comes to it. He refuses to see, admit, or contemplate that they could have done anything wrong. Considering his relationship with Kr'stof (despite the fact that this is a kept secret from anyone outside themselves and their dragons), he feels this loyalty most strongly towards him. Nothing Kr'stof says or does is wrong and that's it. Literally there is nothing else to discuss, nothing at all, and A'stor doesn't like being told - or implications - to the contrary.
History:
The egg Alastor touched had been unsure, uncertain; it would retreat from a candidate's mind only to come with a running start to roar and tell them to mind their own. What Damith found in Alastor was not the candidate who immediately retreated and removed their hand, nor the candidate who met Damith's anger with their own. Alastor, instead, was the mind who apologised, politely, but lost none of the friendliness. There might have been fear, yes, but Alastor still wished him only the best and sent him feelings of warmth before slowly pulling his hand off. The fact he was willing to at all sent Damith the warm and fuzzies, gave him a feeling he now knows by the name of acceptance.
That mind was his; it could be nothing but his. No matter who else might want that mind - and Damith was sure many did - it belonged to him and Alastor would have no other dragon. At the hatching, Damith had burst from his egg in a fit of passion, determined to be the first to Impress so that he would get his rider. A determined - borderline violent - hatchling, he hadn't cared for the boys in his way who'd wanted the pale bronze dragon for themselves. Headbutts served to get many of them out of his way (and, for those who didn't move, a swift bash with a sharply clawed paw served to do so) but he wasn't particularly vicious about it. They weren't his, would never be, could never be, and he needed them to get down so he could survey the sands and find the one who was. By the time he found Alastor, the boy was practically cowering in fear. How unbecoming.
<Mine. Stand straight. Your spine is made of steel; it will not bend nor break to those who try to force it. Have faith; you are Damith's and he will care for you.> While his pale head did come in contact with Alastor, it was with no force. He merely rubbed his head against his side, his hands, like a domesticated Feline. He crooned quietly. <Now come. I am quite hungry.>
It turned out that would be one of the only half kind things Damith would ever say to Alastor, now A'stor. The rest of the time it was lessons: stand straight, humans respect that; do not smile so, you look a fool; do not cringe, he could not harm you if he tried. A'stor's mind was kind, yes, and it accepted Damith's sometimes mercurial moods, but it was too kind - too indiscriminately kind. He would not see His hurt for trusting the wrong individual and so he took it upon himself to teach him the impassive facade that he would need to survive in a world that would see them both dead for no true reason.
The Watch seemed natural to them. A'stor wanted to help; Damith wanted position and power in life. It was a move that benefited them both... but, of course, it came at a price. Gay bronzeriders on gay dragons was about 400% too gay for much of the Watch, as they well knew, and so they made a tough decision. ... Damith made a tough decision for himself and his rider. They were to be so far in the closet that they forgot they were even in one. Not a word of Damith's preference for his much smaller blue companions, not a word of A'stor's preference for men who could tell him what to do. Convincing oneself that one is heterosexual, at least in A'stor and Damith's case, could only do so much. While A'stor tried to leer appropriately at women but frequently found himself forgetting to stare at chests, Damith couldn't rouse the interest to chase after anything but the most beautiful and fertile of Golds.
And then, in the middle of their failure, A'stor was assigned to J'car's wing and, un/fortunately (depending on which of the pair you asked at what moment in time), met Kr'stof there. Kr'stof was, again un/fortunately, the antithesis of A'stor's ordinary personality. Bubbly and exuberant where A'stor was silent and "brooding", pushy and nosy where A'stor would prefer to back off and leave things be, and full of pet names where A'stor was the kind of stolid individual who addressed everyone by their full name all the time.
That meant he was very interesting, which meant Damith viewed him as a threat. Un/luckily, Kr'stof seemed to have the same sort of interest in A'stor. Luckily, it meant A'stor could feel somewhat attractive again, since his frequent disinterest and failure to show any sort of lasting interest in a woman left most thinking him uninterested in sex at all (which was not true and was becoming urgently less and less true as time continued on). Unluckily, it meant Damith was very, very touchy that everything they had worked for was being laid on the line for one very tiny, very ... insignificant (in his mind) person. Unluckily, it meant A'stor spent a lot of his time cornered by a man half his size and a fraction his weight, laughing like a nervous girl of 15. And, somehow, along the line, A'stor managed to convince Kr'stof that he was actually gay, where by "convince" we mean "blushed fiercely when Kr'stof talked to him and frequently failed to bat him away with anything more than the world's weakest 'please'". That made nothing better. A'stor spent his time awkwardly weighing his duty - his masculinity that was somehow intrinsically and inexplicably tied with his heterosexuality - versus his desires; every moment he spent not being flustered to death by Kr'stof or engaged entirely in drills and work, he thought of it, and dealt with the railings of a prodigiously angry dragon in his head.
Kr'stof and A'stor get together somehow; there's awkward boning. Secret keeping. Then they go to Warden's. yeahhh. I'll flesh this out with Noz if he stays.
Other stuff:
Damith
Name: Damith
Color: Bronze
Age: 23
Appearance: Damith is cold, pale metal. Swirls of shining and shading colours mottle his hide, nose to forked tail tips. At any moment, Damith's colouration looks like living metal, and the swirls are so numerous - and, in some places, so subtle - that sometimes it appears as though they've shifted.
Personality:
Where A'stor might be friendly and insecure, Damith is cold and insecure. He has a lot of Issues about other being and emotion and SHARING. He does not like it and does not really like to; he keeps himself at a long distance from everyone else, even his A'stor (though far less so than with anyone else), because he fears what would happen if he were weak. He sets up this distance and his cold front because it keeps people at bay. He expects a lot of his rider, only the best, and pushes him to give it. He knows A'stor is capable of quite a lot and wants to draw it out, even if he does so through harsh words and annoyances. He doesn't seem to realise, however, how harsh he is; sometimes, when A'stor gets incredibly frustrated with him, Damith is left in a vague bewilderment that makes A'stor realise how hopeless his dragon can be, sometimes. With others, he's less harsh, because he recognises them as imperfect and thus finds it impossible to really expect anything of them, but can still be sharp tongued.
Like his rider, Damith shows interest only in men... And usually only dragons much smaller than he. Finding bronzes and browns unpleasing to the eye, a majority of the time, Damith's affections and attentions are aimed solely at the much smaller blues that surround him. But this terrifies him. As much as A'stor knows that being gay is unacceptable, Damith knows it too. He must present the same heterosexual facade that his rider does - except where A'stor had the buffer period before Impressing where he could sleep with men and enjoy himself and came to the understanding that there was nothing wrong with being gay before being thrust back into it, Damith has no such thing. His whole life has been this small, anxious ball of "I must fit in; I must gain power; they must look up to me." As such, he has a deep fear of intimacy and friendship; he finds it difficult to befriend other dragons because he fears that a crack in his cold facade means that others will see what he's spent his entire 23 years hiding. When it comes to hiding his inclinations towards other men, Damith is quite devoted and possesses a tongue made of only the most expensive silver. He spits corny, awful lines about their beauty, anything to please them, and knows what it is he does while he rails at himself and eyes any blues who may have joined the Flight.
But it isn't just for heterosexuality that Damith Flies golds. No, he wants eggs. He understands the concept of his children in the world, through A'stor, and he's set himself upon it. He knows they might not be anything like him - nothing at all like him! - but that doesn't matter. They're his - and that means he's done something. Been something. He won't take anything less, nothing at all. At first, his attempts to catch Golds were mild and lazy, half-hearted attempts that led to crushing defeats. As time passed, as his losses piled on one another, he got more and more frustrated with himself. He was getting older and he wouldn't always have the stamina that he did when he was young. No, he would need to fly faster and truer and more devoted. So he did - and yet he still lost. The frustration gave way to anger and, with that, violence. His participation in the flights became less and less "I will win by my merits" and more and more "I'll destroy any dragon who comes near me." Though he's no mindless beast - even in the throes of his rage, Damith is still calculating, still formulating - and, as such, he tries to morph his behaviour to fit. A shy queen, who wails at the shedding of ichor, gets a sweeter Damith who only jostles and shoves with shoulders and wings. Luckily, a lack of queens means it isn't readily obvious that Damith is, in essence, only a chameleon, taking on the appearance of what surrounds him.
At his core, where there is no need for defenses, Damith can be found to be remarkably sensitive. He cares what others think of him and he cares whether or not they like him. It could, perhaps, be the reason behind his chameleon tendencies - if he's what they like, then they have no reason to dislike him - while not realising that this is alienating people due to his lack of consistency. He's a quiet companion, much like his rider, and prefers companionable silence to unnecessary words filling the air. He is still considerably awkward, remarkably clueless at genuine conversation, and occasionally his remarks - especially if meant to be comforting or sweet - come out harsher than he meant. He knows (or hopes, rather) that one day he'll have to let someone other than his rider in... but he's unsure how he'll keep them once they're there. He's disgusted by his weakness; leaders don't care what their followers think of them.
*kr'stof used with noz approval i am not that willfully stupid
