Welcome to Gaia! ::

Although I'm not particularly involved in the queer community in my city, I've been active in various LGBT threads and guilds here on Gaia for a number of years. It's been incredibly educational, and I feel that I've learned a lot during my conversations with various Gaians over the years.

That said, sometimes I forget that all the terminology with which I'm familiar can be really confusing for other people. I was reminded of this the other day during a discussion at work, when a coworker didn't understand why I made a distinction between sex and gender. That led to a more in-depth talk about all kinds of other things, and by the end of it, he joked that he must have learned a hundred new words.

Anyway, in the GSA guild that I'm involved in, we frequently see people asking, "What am I?". They can articulate the way they feel, but aren't sure where they fit on the spectrum exactly, or how to label themselves. I get the impression that without knowing how to identify themselves, many of them feel isolated, like they don't belong to any particular group. Some people complain that labels are restrictive; "Labels are for soup cans, not people!". I disagree. Labels are just words that we use to more easily communicate with others. Sure, I could say "I was born with male sexual characteristics, my gender is also male, and I am primarily attracted to members of the same sex, but also to some women and to some people who fall outside of the gender binary. I'm not genderblind, though."

Or, I could just say I'm a cisgender male polysexual. Or, even more concise: I'm a guy and I'm queer.

Labels don't define us. We define labels. So...let's talk about them.

Male. Female. Intersex. Transgender. Cisgender. Genderqueer. Agender. Androgynous. Homosexual. Heterosexual. Pansexual. Bisexual. Polysexual. Asexual. Demisexual. Hetero-, homo-, bi-, pan-romantic. Queer. I could list a dozen more, but you get the point.

How do you identify? What words do you use to describe your gender and sexual orientation? Are there other terms you could use, but don't? If so, why?

It makes sense, although the idea is very foreign to me. I mean, I understand the idea of it without really being able to relate at all. sweatdrop

Like, for me...there have been times when I've been uncomfortable with my sexuality, but never with my sex or gender. I am male. I have never felt any other way. I didn't always feel that I fit in with other males, but that sense of isolation was rooted in general self-loathing, rather than any sense of gender dysphoria. It was more that I worried that others perceived me as being too "different", I guess.

Edited, since I decided I had more to add: I don't fit many of the stereotypes about queer men. My "little brother", on the other hand, does. To be blunt, he can be kind of flaming. He loves make-up and fashion, and he loves wearing "pretty" things. He's a self-proclaimed drag princess, and he is as comfortable in a skirt as he is in jeans.

Despite what others have assumed about him, he also has never identified as anything other than male. We've talked about this a lot, especially since his school counsellors have expressed concern, and he is adamant that he has no desire at all to be female. He doesn't identify as trans, or genderqueer. Just male. It confuses the ******** out of the school staff, and in turn, their confusion frustrates him. As he's said, "The only issue I have with my gender is that everyone seems to think I have gender issues!"

Before I contribute further, I wanted to put out this question to all of you.
If we lived in a truly post-gender-role society, do you think that there would there still be transgendered people? If they didn't disappear and desired to undergo gender reassignment surgery, the case being that the only thing that would change would be the outward appearance of their bodies (and not how they were treated, in any way) would the operation be considered to be a purely cosmetic procedure?

I'm probably not a good candidate to tackle this idea. I mean, I understand the idea of being transgender, and I feel relatively comfortable defining the term for others.
At the same time, as I've never experienced gender dysphoria myself or even studied the subject in much detail, all I have is that general theoretical understanding of what the word means.

For that reason I would actually encourage you to pose this question in my guild, if you're willing. razz If not, I would be happy to start a thread myself.

Anyway, I don't really feel that I can answer the question, but the idea of a post-gender-roles society strikes me as interesting. I'm terrible at articulating things like this, so hopefully this isn't too much of a garbled mess...

Although society is gradually becoming more comfortable with the idea that your sex organs shouldn't necessarily dictate your gender expression or your opportunities in life, I guess I'm not sure I can really imagine a society that is "post-gender roles", at least not entirely. Of course, I might be completely misunderstanding what you mean by that phrase. sweatdrop

Like sexual orientation, (and even physical sexual characteristics, to some extent, such as in the case of those who are intersex) gender is a spectrum, and "male" and "female" are labels that we've used to describe specific traits. As our understanding of human sexuality and gender broadens, and we start thinking outside of the rigid gender binary, the vocabulary we use to describe these identities grows, too.
I don't think that means that we will discard the idea of "male" and "female", though, even if the meaning associated with the words change somewhat.

For instance, I can imagine in the future that "male" and "female" might be used strictly to talk about physical sexual characteristics (rather than one's gender), or that their definition may instead just become much more vague. We may end up adding modifiers to the words to accommodate identities that fall in the middle of the spectrum, or create new words entirely.

Although we may come to truly embrace all kinds of gender expression, I think that there are still going to be those individuals that will find that they identify most closely with what we've traditionally thought of as "male" and "female".

From what I understand of gender dysphoria, the issue is that one's assigned sex doesn't match one's gender; the individual feels trapped in the "wrong" body. Even if gender roles are less important or non-existant in society, I assume an individual could still experience this kind of dysphoria. If so, they may still feel the need to undergo sex reassignment surgery. If all types of gender expression were accepted and gender roles weren't an issue, perhaps we'd use the term "transsexual" once again, instead of transgender?

I'll go start one so smile


On The B and The T
A semi relavent thing I wrote.

׺°”˜`”°º×Life is about balance׺°”˜`”°º×

׺°”˜`”°º×But because you're not a straight line doesn't mean you aren't balanced׺°”˜`”°º×

It feels like your third paragraphs suggests, however lightly, that being cisgendered has a good bit to do with ascribing to gender stereotypes. I'm certainly not attacking you for it, but simply wonder if you're willing to stand by it.
Honestly, I have nothing but curiosity in regard to that. When I've done things that society told me were girly things, I never felt less of who I was, like I was less "me." I say this because the idea of feeling like a "man" doesn't mean much to me. Probably because I've never been anything else. Similarly, when I do things that society tells me are manly, I don't feel like "more of a man," (whatever that means).
I don't know if I've broached this before or not but just how much say do you think society has in someone being cisgendered or not? If we really lived in a post-gender-role society, would people still feel uncomfortable in their own bodies?

ninja
No, actually, I never got around to it.

Also, holy s**t my last post in here was a rambling mess. I literally have no idea what the hell I was trying to get across. ******** you and your cutesy organized reasoning.