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 Posted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 9:14 am
06/10/12 Rabbits Cartwright 'The Englishman' Cartwright is shown backstage to cheers from the crowd. He is wearing a smashing suit, trousers and shoes. There is a cameraman also on-screen who Cartwright is talking to. The cameraman is on his break and petting his pet rabbit.
Cartwright: "Oh great! Now we can bring animals to work! I'm gonna get me a crocodile."
CM: "Don't bring him here. Mr. Fluffy Wiggums here would be scared." Cartwright: "That's the point! Get that fur ball outta here you spacker!" CM: "Mr. Fluffy Wiggums is very sick. I need to look after him."
Cartwright: "You know where we come from we eat rabbits?"
The cameraman looks shocked.CM: "YOU.....YOU MONSTER!" Cartwright: "I am a monster! Here me roar! Come here you hairy big toothed freak!" The rabbit pukes all over Cartwright's smashing suit. Cartwright looks disgusted.Cartwright: "Ewwwwwwwww! I don't want to eat that thing! I'm outta here! Later Captain Furry!" Cartwright stomps-off to the toilets to clean himself.CM: "I told him Mr. Fluffy Wiggums wasn't well. Come on now Mr. Fluffy Wiggums, it's time for your medicine." The camera fades-out with the cameraman feeding the rabbit marbles. 24/10/12 Cats Cartwright 'The Englishman' Cartwright is shown backstage to cheers from the crowd. He is wearing a smashing suit, trousers and shoes. He meets the cameraman from last week who is on his break and fussing over his pet cat. CM: "Cartwright. Check out my sweet little furry p***y."Cartwright closes his eyes instantly.Cartwright: "OH MAH GAWD! PUT THAT AWAY YOU SPACKER!"CM: "What's your problem?"Cartwright: "I don't like the way this is going! Last week you showed me your rampant rabbit and now this? You sir......are disgusting and I wish to remove myself from your eyesight before you roger me senseless like Jimmy Saville would."CM: "Wait no! I'm talking about my cat!"Cartwright: "You dirty, lying mong! You can't be! You so want to roger me senseless because I am such a sexy beast. You know it. I know it. I also know that you want to roger me and I ain't into that sorta thing.....you need to find Guy Cancer for that sort of 'fun'....."CM: "Seriously, my cat is right here."Cartwright cautiously opens his eyes.Cartwright: "Phew! I thought you was one of those transgender abominations. You probably are anyway but are just denying it so that you look cool in-front of me."Cartwright leans forward to take a closer look at the cat.Cartwright: "YOU FURRY FREAK! I HATE CATS! GO DIE IN A DITCH AND BURN IN THE WATER!"The cat goes crazy and scratches away at Cartwright's face, leaving marks and blood.Cartwright: "NOOOOOOOOO! MAH BEAUTIFUL FACE! CAAAAAAAAAATS! DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH! THIS HUUUUUUUUURTS!"Cartwright runs off-camera with his hands covering his face. The cameraman looks upset at his cat, which then attacks him too as the camera fades-out. 10/11/12 Oranges Braiddan Jacob stands backstage, a sack of oranges tight within his grasp, holding onto it for dear life. The backstage commentator holds a mic to Figgins before he takes it into his hands. He had a wild look in his eyes, but of course, Figgy was never known to be sane. The damn big hats,man. A man like myself can’t even sit at his own home and take a bong rip or two without the CIA breaking in and stealing all my oranges! Why do they want my oranges? To hell if I know! Maybe they want everyone to get scurvy. And then Oprah can use her influence and her creepy cult which she calls her book club and have a charity to steal everyone’s money. The money is then used to fund research and distribution of a new mind control libation and call it something like ‘Ever Orange, The Elixir to Combat the Scurvy epidemic. Of course they so conveniently fail to mention that they are the ones causing said epidemic. Once the orange drink funds reach their goal they launch the project Morning stare. In which they shall create an artificial sun. lowering the body’s endorphin production by thirty percent. With great numbers of depressed people they can then do whatever the hell they want. Of course, this is all just a wild guess. Maybe they’re just missing ingredients for their punch at their next party. But the moral to the story is. QUIT MESSING WITH MY ORANGES!” The stagehand had a deadpan 'wtf' look upon his face as Figgy rambled on. Before finally gathering the courage to finally ask "Um just what was I called here for?" Figgy jumps at the mans voice, glaring him down. Apparently he was surprised that the staffer was even around. "Who the hell are you? And what are you doing in my living room?" They were backstage. You could see the big WWFG:Reboot logo over their heads. Most certainly not his living room. "Um, I'm gonna go" The staffer did just that, leaving Figgy alone to mumble to himself like some crazy person. "He probably works for oprah, I do not support that evil sith army. But I need not say more, the CIA is looking at me through the lightbulbs as we speak. I'm off to Taco Bell!" Figgy leaps into the nearby men's restroom. That's not taco bell, but close enough. Blackout. 08/12/12-26/12/12 Team Insane Get Help Cartwright The camera fades-in to Cartwright and Jacob Figgins sitting at a desk. On the opposite side of it is a smart looking man in a white suit.
???: "So gentlemen, tell me about your problems."
Both Cartwright and Figgins look at each other hesitantly, but Cartwright strikes first.
Cartwright: "There's a cameraman where I work who insists on bringing his....stupid, ugly, disgusting, smelly FURRY FREAK ANIMALS....to work with him. I HATE THEM! THEY MAKE ME SO ANGRY!"
The mysterious man nods.
???: "OK.....and you Mr. Figgins?"
Figgy: "THE GOVERNMENT IS TRYING TO STEAL MY ORANGES!"
The man shakes his head.
???: "Why would they want your oranges?"
Figgings leaps out of his seat and on to the table.
Figgy: "I don't know, but I bet you know! You're working with them, aren't you?"
Cartwright stands up. He helps Figgins off the table and sits him back down on the chair.
Cartwright: "I think he has a problem doctor."
Figgins: "Yes. With him and his government Cartwright. He wants my oranges."
Cartwright: "No! Don't you dare take his oranges! They are delicious!"
Doctor: "Calm down you two. Remember why you are here. WWFG sent you here so that I could help you."
Figgins: "You mean help them to CONTROL OUR MINDS!"
Cartwright: "WHAT?! NO! KEEP YOUR HANDS AWAY FROM MY BRAIN YOU ZOMBIE!"
Figgins: "The oranges will save us."
Cartwright: "Hurray oranges! Man's best friend! NOT LIKE THOSE FURRY FREAK ANIMALS YOU CALL DOGS!"
Figgins: "ALL PRAISE THE GLORIOUS ORANGE!"
Figgins takes an orange out the bag of oranges that he carries with him at all times. He and Cartwright admire the orange as the doctor shakes his head.
Doctor: "Why did I agree to this?"
The camera fades-out.
The camera fades-in to Team Insane, Cartwright and Jacob Figgins as they continue to chat to some sort of doctor.
Doctor: "OK you two, we are going to do something called the Ink Blot Test. I'm going to show you some images and you tell me exactly what you see."
Cartwright: "Sure!"
Figgy: "Why not?"
The doctor shows the first card.
Cartwright: "BEAR!"
Figgy: "Oranges."
A second card is shown.
Cartwright: "CAT!"
Figgy: "Oranges."
Another card is shown.
Cartwright: "FLUFFY RABBIT!"
Figgy: "Oranges."
The doctor shakes his head as the camera fades-out.
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Posted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 9:26 am
16/01/13 WWFG Rehab Centre Promo Cartwright Team Insane, Cartwright and Jacob Figgins, are shown in the community room of the WWFG sponsored Psychiatric rehabilitation centre. They are ignoring everybody else but each other as they are admiring their newly won WWFG World Tag Team Championships and eating a bag of oranges together. A nurse approaches them.
Cartwright: "Why hello there sexy lady! Would you like to see a big pair of oranges?"
Figgy: "Don't trust her Cartwright. She is part of the system. Part of the government conspiracy to try and take our oranges and bring us down."
Cartwright: "But what I actually meant was...."
Nurse: "Guys! I'm just here to help you. Why don't you two go and talk to your fellow patients here? Look over there, those are some of your co-workers. You know Brantley Summers over here in-front of us? There's Rebz on the other side of the room. Go and say hello."
Figgy: "We don't like our co-workers. We don't trust them. They are jealous of our magical oranges."
Cartwright: "And our newly won WWFG World Tag Team Championships! WE SHOULD NOT BE HERE! IF WE WERE CRAZY WE WOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO WIN THESE SHINY NEW TOYS!"
Nurse: "STOP SHOUTING! FINE! IF YOU WON'T TALK TO THEM I'LL MAKE THEM COME TO YOU!"
Figgy: "NO! DON'T! I HATE YOU ALREADY!" SR3_SINNER Before Rebz walked into the into the room, she was told to put her cigarette out, and to hand her pack to them... At first she refused, and asked them to let her at least finish smoking. They said it would cost her a job if she didn't cooperate with them. A rehab is supposed to help people, not threaten them. Rebz stared into the man in the suit's eyes, taking one last puff, blowing the smoke in his face, and using his jacket as an ashtray, before throwing her cigarette on the ground and putting it out. The man in the suit was burned and annoyed with Rebz, but the hot nurse calmed him down by looking into his eyes, he immediately complied. Rebz walks in looking around, noticing she was either 15 minutes late or the last one to arrive. She takes her seat in one of the corners where nobody is around, comfortable laying back, feet up on the table and watching the TV that's currently showing the news about how a local shootout is putting fear into every family. Rebz knows the idea of gang warfare all too well, the idea of having a gun in your hand, with the trigger at your finger, ready to pull the final blow into somebody else. Rebz couldn't do it, she was still too young to take someone's life away. Now, it'd be too easy to do it with all the anger she can build up. No matter how pissed off she may be, she can still control her actions to not do anything like that... Unlike some guy who ACTUALLY brought a gun to the ring and tried killing himself. The hot nurse from the other side of the room walks up to Rebz after speaking with Cartwright and Jacob Figgins. Rebz was disgusted at how short her dress was, why would she want a date from someone who has to go to rehab? That's insane! Or maybe she is insane? Regardless, the nurse takes a look at her clipboard and says, "So... Rebecca? Rebz immediately annoyed with the nurse for calling her by her real first name... Why don't you go and talk with your fellow co-workers who are also having problems?" Rebz not even making eye contact with the nurse replies, "Why so? So we can all, get along during our matches? And that we can actually have a little hope for our tag partner? Let me tell you why I'm here... MAAM! Rebz takes her feet off the table, and sits on the edge of her seat, looking deep into the eyes of the nurse... I'm here because I show up to work one day, and I take a look at what I'm doing that night. I see on the card, 'Rebz and Angel... versus... Dienko Haiko and Calypso... Some two douchebags I don't know, and another whore I don't care about... You see... Seeing that card, already pissed me off... So, I decided to drink my anger away... Tell me why, the match was setup as it is... 2 guys against 1 woman and a scrub? Hmm? You think I was willing to carry her through that match? Sorry, I don't got room for backpacks... Even if I showed up to the match, sober, we still wouldn't have won because my partner would have been backpackin'... I don't need to be carryin' scrubs! Angel, is a ******** scrub! Who got lucky winnin' all by herself... And how she won... Was cuz of that other douchbag laid down for her, and she being the whore that she is, took advantage of him and got on top of him... But let's face it... He probably not even the man of a relationship anyway... If management had made that match at least a mixed... I woulda beat the s**t outta that whore... And I wouldn't be here, and we'd all be living our days happily ever after? Right? No, of course not... Got any other questions miss nurse?" The nurse nodded no, took some notes down on her clipboard. Rebz sat back in her seat, kicking her feet back up on the table, and watching the news once more. The nurse walks away with a sway, looking for something else to do. Cartwright The nurse returns to Team Insane, who are giggling at her like school children.
Nurse: "What's so funny boys?"
Cartwright: "That was some great nursing! You really helped Rebz over there! Man you are looking mighty fine in that short skirt, check out those thighs Figgy!"
Figgy: "No Cartwright! Resist the flesh! Don't trust anyone here. They are all part of the Government system now. The only person that you can rely on is me, your tag team partner and best friend in the world. This nurse will tempt your mighty man sausage with her saucy looks, you will get her preggars while you are ploughing her soft, pink innards and then when little Cartwright Junior pops-out you will have to conform to the systems rules in order to look after your brat...."
Cartwright rubs his chin in thought of ploughing sweet pink innards as Figgy notices that the nurse is making more notes on the clipboard.
Figgy: "I want to see what you are writing sexy nurse lady. You are causing my pal Cartwright way too much trouble. You are making him so horny. Gimme that clipboard."
Cartwright: "Why would I plough pigs innards with a horn?"
Nurse: "No Figgins. This is not for your eyes. The doctors will see my notes to help them decide whether you are all sane or not."
Figgy: "Incase you were wondering the team name is TEAM INSANE!"
Cartwright: "So of course we're sane! LET US OUT! LET US OUT!"
Nurse: "Behave yourselves or else you'll just be here for longer."
Team Insane sulk at their table as the nurse walks away. Beta Flyer Brantley walks into the scene carrying a bottle of rum as the nurses leave. He is obviously slightly inebriated but not completely drunk at the moment. Summers then walks behind Figgy and Cartwright and drapes his arms around them. His breath smelling strongly of alcohol, he said... "Hot pieces of rear end they have here, am I right boys! I can understand why you're here. But hey, wanna find a way out here? I found this map that takes us out of here and to an island filled with treasures that would destroy even the most of sane men." Brantley pulled the map out and stretched it out on the table. You could plainly see that all the map contained was 'START' written in crayon followed by some black dashes in a squiggly line that lead to a red 'X'. JobsEveryDay "WHAT!?!?!?"
Jed was pushed into the room where WWFG was having there rehab. Jed was pushed into the room by a WWFG Official.
"What do you mean I have to attend Rehab? I'm not some drunk, or a person that confuses everything for fruit, or even a pirate. Now I'm not against Pirates, but I digress. " The official looked at Jed and nodded his head. " That all maybe true, but a general manager has to supervise this. " Jed looked at the official for a second before replying.." Oh!" Jed looked around and noticed Rebz, Cartwright, Figgy, Sexy Nurse, and Brantley. Jed turned back to the official blocking the door way. Jed tried to leave but he wouldn't move. Jed looked at the official and turned back towards Brantley tables. Jed looked left and saw an emergency exit. Jed slowly walked towards Brantley and Sexy Nurse side of the table. " Hey guys..How's..Life?' Jed smiled trying not to act awkwardly after what he just yelled.
Jed looked at the Sexy Nurse for a second as he was attracted to her and her short skirt. Jed then looked away as he remember his wife, Cartwrights sister, could be watching. That would probably not be a good thing to explain to his son and daughter. Jed looked at Rebz, and then looked back the nurse quickly, but then looked away towards Cartwright and Figgy.. That was a close one. That would have been awkward if Rebz had caught him looking at her, but that would have been awkward for anyone to look at Rebz. But of course maybe that's all Rebz needs, someone to love. Maybe then she wouldn't be considered a Drunk for just one show..Either way.... Jed looked at Cart and Figgy nodding. Jed, Figgy,and Cartwright had hit a dropkick on a bear at the last Pay Per View. Not much needed to be said between these vets. They were kind of like brothers..But weren't... Jed was going to send a wink Figgy's way, but he had a feeling Figgy would think that was gay. But of course this coming from a guy with a Hello Kitty elbow pad. Jed looked down at the map, smiled, and said.... " Yahtzee. " Cartwright Cartwright and Figgy stare at the crayon covered map for a moment that Brantley is showing them. Cartwright looks confused and nods at Jed as Figgy rubs his chin in thought.
Cartwright: "Yo Jed! How's my sister and the family? Last time I saw her she was as hairy as the bear we took-out at the PPV! HA! I would call her myself but I traded my mobile to Figgy for a magical orange....I'm still waiting for that wish to come true..."
Cartwright elbows Figgy, who looks lost, deep in thought.
Cartwright: "What do we think Figgy? Can we trust this Brantley co-worker chap? He smells trustworthy! Gimme some of that!"
Figgy: "This map seems legit guys. I trust this map. We must find this treasure and keep it for ourselves to keep it out of the Governments hands."
Cartwright: "We're going on a treasure hunt! Yippeeeeee!"
Figgy: "But there is a problem.....there is no escape. Even the map doesn't know as I see question marks all over the place."
The nurses shakes her head as she continues to write notes about what is unfolding in-front of her. JobsEveryDay "Come on now Cart, you know I love Mary, please don't...say.. " Jed stared at the nurse wondering what she was writing. " that kind of stuff. " Jed whispered, "She could be watching. " he then winked and grinned at Cartwright. Jed looked at the Nurse as she kept writing information down. "So what are you writing down, Nurse Sexy? " Jed was starting to act a little paranoid. Maybe she was copying the map, maybe her real name was Nurse Sexy. Maybe..... Beta Flyer Brantley looked around and ripped the map in half before letting out a burst of anger with a shout. He threw a chair down and sat in another chair, "Ahhhh! Whatever..." He began to violently jerk his head around in an attempt to find a place to escape but all it felt like was a room with four walls and his head felt as if it was just spinning. Brantley fell face first onto the table and stopped moving afterwards. Cartwright Cartwright: "Don't worry Jed, my sister can't hurt you, because you're never around to see her!"
Cartwright gets up and pokes Brantley, who doesn't move.
Cartwright: "I think he died guys."
Figgins picks-up the ripped map as Cartwright checks Brantley's pockets for alcohol. He's hoping for rum. He likes rum. What kinda pirate doesn't have rum on him at all times?
Figgy: "But on the plus side, we now have the map."
Cartwright looks at the nurse and Jed, disappointed as he stops searching Brantley.
Cartwright: "This looney on the floor deserves to be here! Me and Figgy do not! Jed does! He married my sister so he is pretty darn crazy!"
Cartwright laughs merrily as the nurse continues to scribble away. She must have written an essay on all of them at this point. Figgy tries to stick the map back together using his mind. SR3_SINNER From one of the offices in the room emerges another man in white dressy shirt, a tie and casual pants with those ugly casual looking shoes. He looked like a FBI agent or something with that outfit. Taking a look around the room, but is immediately approached by the sexy nurse, who hands him her clipboard. Noticing there are a number of pages for each body in the room, Jed, Cartwright, Figgy, Summers and Rebz. It's like she was profiling all of them including the notes she took. The FBI agent scans across the notes before throwing the clipboard behind him, causing all the papers to fly out. The nurse immediately gets down on her knees gathering all the notes to put them back in order. The FBI agent, scans the room once again, noticing Brantley Summers is knocked out on the table, "Can we get some EMT's to bring Mr. Summers back to life." His voice didn't even sound like he was scared that Brantley could have ACTUALLY been DEAD, it was as if he's seen this kind of thing everyday. A couple medics came in, checking up on Brantley, hoping he would wake up soon. "My name is Doctor Alec Earnhardt, you are all here either because you have anger issues, mental problems, alcohol problems and or abuse, hallucinations, conspiracy theories, emotional elevations..."As the doctor kept rambling, Rebz was thinking in her head that this guys probably has a toilet paper sized list of reasons why anybody can be in here MEMORIZED. Rebz has already taken therapy type classes back in Juve, that led to how she got into the wrestling business. She's thinking she can't be in here for anger issues, or even one time showing up drunk to a match. "In case none of you were listening to any of the symptoms I have mentioned, nor what they are signs of... You guys are in here because you have lost your sanity. If you don't know what sanity means, you clearly belong in here. Now, we will do a quick 'about me' session with each of you, and a guess at why you are in here. Everyone, bring your chairs around in a circle so we can discuss your problems." The doctor grabs a chair and places it in the center of the room. He sits on it with a leg over his knee (that woman-ly posture that guys do), arms across the arm rests, patiently waiting for everyone's responses. Rebz kept her bandanna over her face, wearing a cap backwards, pretty much her eyes and partially a nose visible of her face. Rebz stays seated in her comfortable chair, with her legs still up on the table. Who does this guy think he is, trying to tell everyone what to do? Rebz stares at him, while the doctor looks at everyone else, waiting what they will do. JobsEveryDay Jed looked at Rebz for a second after Brantley Passed out. " What did you do, Rebz? Brantley was an innocent pirate, why did you? " Jed stopped once he heard the FBI agent walk into the room. Also to hear what Cartwright and Figgy were talking about. Jed stood there thinking there has to be away out of here. The Map Jed thought as the doctor was talking. Jed didn't say anything hoping someone else would answer. Cartwright Cartwright: "Looks like Musical Chairs!"
Figgins looks at this Doctor/FBI Agent/Government Scumbag.
Figgy: "Conspiracy theories aren't an illness.....especially when they are true. I know what your game is. You're part of the system. Trying to brainwash us into your way of thinking and trying to steal my oranges. WELL YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM! Now I have THIS MAP.....AND YOU WANT IT TOO! WELL YOU CAN'T HAVE IT EITHER! IT'S ALL MIIIIIIIIIINE!"
Cartwright sits on a chair, facing the man. He is the only one in the circle right now.
Cartwright: "My name is Cartwright and there is nothing wrong with me at all! Let the musical chairs begin! Yaaaaaay!" Beta Flyer Brantley woke up as the medics came. He was not about to get stuck in some crazy electricity shocking through him. He got himself to his feet and stumbled into his chair which he scooted in to listen to the agent. He wondered why the FBI would be here for some nutjobs, but he just listened. JobsEveryDay Jed sat down in a chair and listen to what Figgy was saying. " I have to agree with The Fig Effect here. Conspiracy Theories, or I call them Conspiracy Facts aren't an illness. Lets break down the word Conspiracy. Cons.....Piracy....Hmm. Cons Piracy. Piracy. Piracy..PIRATES!!!!!.RRRR!!...... I mean..." For some reason Jed had a sudden addiction to pirates. This addiction may even be worse than Matt Stone and Chex Mix. " What I was saying was.... " Jed watched as Brantley woke up. Beta Flyer Brantley left the FBI Agent only to be followed by another one. He sat on a couch with a frustrated face. He looked at the agent waiting on questions. The agent started off, ready to interview Summers with the hard knock, hardball questions. "Summers, we are not your average FBI Agents. We are in fact, WWFGBI Agents. We realize how awful that sounds and that it doesn't work for us at all, but that doesn't change the fact that we are an ever serious threat to your job and everything that you do. So why don't you just sit there and cooperate with us on the questions we have." "Alright, cut to the chase. Fire them out. Beat me off." Summers said as a snarky reply. The agent rolled his eyes and sighed before beginning his questioning of Summers on his WWFG time. "In your time with WWFG, you have been Diefic Champion, three time Undisputed Tag Champion, and have Main Evented Wrestlemania before you just up and left. What happened that led you to just disappearing after Wrestlemania?"Summers looked into the eyes of the agent. The question hit him somewhere below the belt and he didn't appreciate that. It seemed these people were almost here just to insult them. Brantley stood up in a fit of rage and yelled at the agent, "You know damn well why I just disappeared! You people put me in this looney bin because I was a threat to the Undisputed Championship and Intercontinental Championship! You all thought Summers was going to take over WWFG and tried to prevent that by locking me in a jacket and putting me in a padded room. This was supposed to be just a rehab center. You said I had an alcohol problem.. This is no rehab center! This is a mental asylum! A PRISON! You've stuck these people in here because they're threatening you didn't you?!" Brantley continued his screaming rant before nurses came to restrain him. They injected him with some drug and wrapped him up in his jacket. One, supposedly kind nurse asked Mr. Summers, "Now you answer this kind man truthfully now ya' hear?"Summers slowly nodded as the agent took some notes on a clipoard. The camera zoomed into the board and noticed the checks under intensity, tenacity, and emotion. The box left blank was stability. He kept the pencil, ready to make changes at any moment. Summers looked much more calm than before so the agent continued, "So you were here this whole time?""Yes," Summers replied. "Do you think you can come back to the ring?" The agent asked. "Yes," Summers replied. "Are you going to win the Royal Rumble?" The agent asked with one eye brow cocked as he kept taking notes. He had a cheap smirk on his face and didn't try to hide it from the drug induced Summers. "Yes," Summers replied. "Are you going to win the Intercontinental Championship, headline Wrestlemania, and win the Undisputed Championship?" The agent stopped his writing for a second and just hovered over one box determining whether or not to check the box. "Yes!" Summers replied standing up breathing heavily, with a very angry expression ready to break out of his jacket. "He's ready." The agent said as he checked the box, stood up and led the fight ready Summers out of the rehab center to the WWFG arena for his first match since being captured and stuck in the rehab pit of doom while Summers was stuck in the jacket. Cartwright Cartwright and Figgy look at each other as Brantley gets drugged and eventually released.
Cartwright: "*whispering* I don't like needles! But all we have to do is take the shot, say yes and we're done here? Great!"
Figgy: "*whispering* No, don't take the shot! The government control our minds with them. Avoid the shot at all costs."
The WWFGBI Agent/Doctor/Evil Overlord turns his attention to Team Insane.
WWFGBI: "Right then you two. Same deal. So let's start with the basics. Do you both call yourself Team Insane?"
Figgy: "Yes."
Cartwright: "No. Everyone has misheard us. We are Team We Are Sane. That's why we shouldn't be here."
Figgy and the agent person look at Cartwright, who appears all sweet with a cheery smile on his face.
WWFGBI: "Are you the WWFG World Tag Team Champions?"
Figgy: "Yes."
Cartwright: "Well duuuuuuuuuuh! We have them here right in-front of you."
WWFGBI: "And do we you like fluffy, furry animals?"
Figgy: "Yes. I love Hello Kitty very much."
Cartwright: "Kitty.....cat.....NO! I HATE THEM SO MUCH! I HATE ANIMALS! ESPECIALLY BEARS! NO!"
The agent shakes his head as Cartwright begins to shout louder and louder about his hate for animals of all kinds. Figgy face-palms as he knows what's coming next.
WWFGBI: "Restrain him."
Cartwright goes crazy and starts running around the place as the nurses chase him with a straight-jacket. Figgy suddenly starts running around as well when he notices that one of them has a needle in her hand. SR3_SINNER As Cart was put into his own straight jacket, the doctor finally came to Rebz. The only person who hasn't made as much noise as the others, but still has a problem like everyone else, whether it's their sanity or their actions. Doctor: "Rebecca, from my studies, WWFG was the first wrestling company you ever joined after your previous anger management classes when you... Got out of juvenile and some wrestling training right?"Rebz: "Right..." Rebz sounding very uninterested in the conversation, ready to get the hell out. Doctor: "And in a just few months of your time in WWFG, you won a rookie show called For Sale, that promised you a future title shot, right?"Rebz: "Yeah..."Doctor: "You went on to become the Bruiser Champion for 8 months, before finally taking your leave from FG after your Wrestlemania match against Baby Dragon?"Rebz: "Okay, where is this going? And how is this helping me? I have a rumble to win next card, and if I'm in it, I plan to win the major royal rumble to capture the Undisputed Championship. We done here?"Doctor: "Do you promise to never show up drunk to a match again, making a fool out of yourself?"Rebz: "Yeah sure whatevz can I go now?"The doctor nodded to the FBI agent to escort Rebz out of the room, instead, she wasn't given a straight jacket because she wasn't insane. However, they will always know when she lays another hand on a bottle of alcohol. There was only one person left in the room not yet interviewed, even though he is just supervising... He has shown signs that he's lost his sanity... JobsEveryDay Jed smiled and laughed as Cart was running around, but soon stopped as he noticed the cameras.
Doctor: Jed, now you were only suppose to be here to supervise, however I wouldn't be doing my job with out question your sanity.
Jed: What are you talking about doctor? "Jed looked at the doctor and glanced at the pirate map for a second then back at the doctor. "
Doctor: Well it seems like you are yourself, Jed. Are you back on Pain Killers?
Jed: "Jed looked at the doctor with a serous look on his face. " Why do you ask this, That's none of our concern, but no I am not back to using pain Killers.
Doctor: Well..Okay.. How about any other form of drugs? Steroids for example?
Jed: " Jed wasn't smiling as he was now getting mad.." You're kidding me... Why are you asking all these questions, in fact why am I here? I don't care if a Gm has to supervisie this I can leave when ever I want to. There are two other gms that can supervise this... " Jed stood up and started to head to the door when the doctor began to speak again."
Doctor:WELL.... The reason you were asked to supervision this was because...Well as of late you've shown signs that you might not be a good pick to stay as general manager of the World Wrestling Federation Guild..
Jed:" Jed stopped right in front of the door as his job was being question. " You must be kidding me.
Doctor: I'm not kidding you. In fact right now WWFG is starting to become an Asylum of sorts. You have Bears running around, wrestler drinking during a match. Hell you even promise a rookie a chance to shine, only for you to lie to him about it this show... So you can leave if you want to, just know one thing.. You are being reviewed.
Jed was mad before, but now he was furious as he was told he could no longer be a general manager of the World Wrestling Federation Guild.
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Posted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 9:29 am
11/02/13 In The Padded Cell Cartwright The camera fades-in to the world class WWFG Rehabilitation Centre. Some would argue that something is wrong if your federation needs it's own mental hospital, but you won't read that here. Inside the centre we see a lovely, soft, all white room with two people inside the locked room. It is the former WWFG World Tag Team Champions, Team Insane. Cartwright is happily rocking back and forth in his straight jacket while Jacob Figgins stares at the door.
Cartwright: "Weeeeeeee! I don't know what I was doing with my life before I was here!"
Figgy: "You were busy being a Champion."
Cartwright: "Oh yeah. FIGGY! THAT WAS ALL YOUR FAULT! Why if I could use my hands I would beat you to a bloody pulp you loser!"
Figgy: "How was it my fault? You were the one who got pinned."
Cartwright: "Only because you didn't have my back and save the match by breaking the pin! How could you Figgy? You turned heel on me and cost us the tag team titles!"
Figgy: "I did not turn heel on you. If I did that you'd know about it."
Cartwright: "Then where was you huh?! HUH?!"
Figgy: "It was Chaos Unleashed's fault! They cheated! That chap couldn't even obey the simple rule of staying in his own corner until he is tagged in. He was all over me like a rash. He might fancy me. Anyway, he should be in this cell, not us! He clearly has learning disabilities and needs help. He's a very special lad."
Cartwright: "Wait, wait, wait. You're telling me, that Team Insane lost our titles to a team of retards?! TEAM RETARD BEAT TEAM INSANE?!"
Figgy: "Yes."
Cartwright: "AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHH!"
Suddenly the doors open and the weird FBI Doctor Dentist Vet Man enters the room with a needle. Hey don't read me in that tone, I didn't invent this amazing character.
FBI: "Shhhhh. You're getting very rowdy in here. I think it's time to calm you down."
Cartwright: "NO! NOT THE NEEDLE! PLEASE! DON'T! I'LL DO ANYTHING! YOU CAN TAKE FIGGY'S ORANGES! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
The camera fades-out with Cartwright crying. 25/02/13 Team Insane Are Ready To Rumble Cartwright The camera fades-in to the world class WWFG Rehabilitation Centre. Some would argue that something is wrong if your federation needs it's own mental hospital, but you won't read that here. Inside the centre we see a lovely, soft, all white room with two people inside the locked room. It is the former WWFG World Tag Team Champions, Team Insane. Cartwright is happily rocking back and forth in his straight jacket while Jacob Figgins stares at the door.
Figgy: "All you have done today is rock back and fourth Cartwright. You've been so quiet. Is something wrong? Or are you actually getting worse in here?"
Cartwright looks at Figgy with a scared look on his face.
Cartwright: "If Cartwright is a good boy, he doesn't get the needle. If Cartwright is a good boy, he doesn't get the needle. If Cartwright is a good boy, he doesn't get the needle."
Figgy raises an eyebrow.
Figgy: "Now that's just creepy. Snap out of it."
Cartwright: "That's what the weird FBI Doctor Man said to me last time! So if I keep quiet and play nice they will have to let me compete at WWFG's legendary Royal Rumble Pay-Per-View! I have a match scheduled and I'd rather not lose it by count-out because I am trapped here!"
Figgy: "What happens after they inject you anyway? I don't need it because I'm so perfectly sane."
Cartwright: "First I feel really calm, then sleepy, then I wake up with an intense burning rage....but then I feel normal again!"
Figgy: "O....Kay......"
Suddenly the doors open and the weird FBI Doctor Dentist Vet Man enters the room with a needle. Hey don't read me in that tone, I didn't invent this amazing character.
FBI: "Time for the needle Cartwright."
Cartwright: "NO! I'VE BEEN GOOD! THIS AIN'T FAIR! NOT THE NEEDLE! PLEASE! DON'T! I'LL DO ANYTHING! YOU CAN TAKE FIGGY'S ORANGES! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
FBI: "Precautionary measure. You're going to the Rumble and we can't be having any mishaps there with your craziness. Now, come over here..."
Cartwright: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
The camera fades-out with Cartwright crying.
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