So this is mostly my testimony in a nutshell, but I hope it will inspire some thought/discussion. Sorry if it gett's deep sweatdrop .

I grew up LDS though we wern't always as active as we should have been. We started getting very active before I became a teen, but we live in a small south Texas town where there are very few mormons and very few people that shair my interests. So my introvertive nature ran rampant and I learned to think excessivly and keep myself entertained.

I remember having alot of blind faith because church seemed like a good thing and it was where my family was. However, the older I got and the more I thought of things the more it became apparant to me that I... My mind, My spirit.... was VERY real. But I didn't have the same testimony of everyone elses. I have a vivid imagination and I knew that beond this world, I exist, in every way shape and form.... But when I looked at others, I had no way of knowing that they were real. beond what I could see, feel, hear, ect. Then I made some good friends who had vivid imaginations and I started to kinda figure "well, I seems quite likely that I'm not alone." I think it's important that you have a testimony that your fellow man is real before you try to comprehend the spirit (at least for me it was)

I'm sure I felt the spirt many times up till then but I always doubted it. I couldn't tell the difference between it and my own thoughts and emotion. I know many people who have done terrible things because of their 'positive' thoughts and emotions, so I was confused. All the same though, one principle drilled right into my core:

In a situation where there are two polar oposite alternatives that can both be proved right in some way, the most positve one must be true.

The simple fact that I existed was a positive thing to me and the Idea that I wasn't alone, that God, heaven, and everything else existed certainly seemed a LOT more positive than the Idea that the only real things are what you can sence with your body. The carnal world is a terible place. It's only when things of a spiritual nature come in that things are right. Even the concepts that I must eat, sleep, procrate, and live are spirit driven. A rock is a rock, yes? Well to me that rock will one day do something like deteriorate and nurture plants and life. That to me is a spiritual thing.

So I went on with my imensly blind yet positive faith that the church and all good things were true. I considered myself an outwardly optomistic person who was inwardly pesamistic. I served a mission (a positive thing to do for two years yes?) and one night I had a world altering realization.

We met with a man at his home. He hadn't made the greatest choices and his home REAKED of darkness (sad but it's how I felt). IMEDIATLY after we left, I felt good. That contrast knocked something loose in my heart and I finaly understood:

I can't 'remember' the spirit.

It isn't mine to recall. It's there when it can be and gone when it can't. I can't just open a box in my heart and assemble a spiritual feeling on my own like I'm playing with legos. Suddenly everything clicked. I can't delve into someones soal and decide if they're real. I can't analyze God and determin what parts of him are true. I do what he asks me and he rewards me with goodness. I don't and I'm left on my own. These words arn't quite explaining the magnitude of this moment for me or what exactly It did for my faith and understanding.

I love the fact that I have imagination. But I am totally releived that there is more to the world than me. I'd do anything God asked because I know that my world of thinking is imperfect and needs help. I screw up all the time and don't always do as he asks because the world we live in often seems more important than the one we're trying to achive. But I get my spiritual butt handed to me and I try again.

I love God, I love his plan and his universe. I love that I'm not alone. I still enjoy being an introvert and building things with my own hands and mind, but now I know he's there teaching me and guiding me along the way.

My wife and I just had our first child. It is so humbling to be in the presence of a spirit that you can't see. An alternate imagination that you trust in but love and admire all the same.

The fear that you'll lose yourself when you focus on others is unfounded. You're completely lost without the universe of souls we live with.

In the Name of our Savior Jesus Christ, Amen.