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Posted: Fri Mar 01, 2013 11:49 pm
I stand their watching her, watching as the tears trickle down her cheeks and stain the pink sweater i had bought her just last year. Just before the day we were suppose to go to that concert with her brother.Her brother how much she had missed him during those heart wrenching months. She wouldn't really spend time with me just smile as we would sit under the same tree with the leaves falling off like the rain. She would always smile when she talked about him about he made her life worth living or at least that's what i thought she said. She was the picture of life back then. A bright smile always wearing outfits that would bring out the warmth of her personality the warmth of her name.But here she is, her makeup a mess running down her red and already drenched cheeks. She's just standing their crying her eyes out and I can't find the words to comfort her. Some people say that most girls should be allowed to cry till all their emotions have run out but it just hurts watching her. Why did it have to be today? Why did this had to happen so soon. She used to say his health was getting better and that he would allowed to go walking with us by the riverside or even go to her favorite place by the beach where we used to watch the sunset as children. But now her brother lays their, his chest rising with each pump of life that the oxygen machine fills him with. I know they might cut him off soon but I can't let him. She needs him and well I won't admit to anyone else but I need her
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Posted: Sat Mar 02, 2013 6:09 pm
Overall, I find the plot to be very interesting and it seem's like it'd be a good roleplay with someone who is actually willing to take it on. Just watch with the capitalization, spacing and punctuation. Other then that it's really great, manybe to contunie with the second paragraph, explain why he needs her or what happened to her brother?
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Posted: Sat Mar 02, 2013 6:12 pm
((its actually about a situation that's happen to me right now)) ((its not a rp))
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Posted: Sat Mar 02, 2013 6:13 pm
Oh my, well then I'm very sorry.
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Posted: Sat Mar 02, 2013 6:15 pm
((its okay, i should have made the topic more clear))
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Posted: Sat Mar 02, 2013 6:17 pm
Howlingatthemoonwithwings ((its okay, i should have made the topic more clear)) Well, if it helps any that girl just needs someone to be there for her and to let her know that they need her too.
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Posted: Sat Mar 02, 2013 6:18 pm
(( yea i know, she's just a bit stubborn))
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Posted: Sat Mar 02, 2013 6:18 pm
Howlingatthemoonwithwings (( yea i know, she's just a bit stubborn)) Lol. A lot of girls are now. It's usually a defensive wall.
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Posted: Sat Mar 02, 2013 6:19 pm
TalkingPoptartsSCREAM Howlingatthemoonwithwings (( yea i know, she's just a bit stubborn)) Lol. A lot of girls are now. It's usually a defensive wall. yea, i guess your right
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