Please help me?

[Genrin619]

It would mean the world to me if you would read some of my poetry, articles, short stories, and novel excerpts here:

Captain Geneve Rogan-Hawk.

I would particularly like it if you would read these poems:
Steel and Concrete - My latest poem
The Apocalypse
My Weakness
We've Been Lied To

And this short story:
A New World

Please post here which one(s) you have read and what you thought. Yes, I am already aware of any typos.

Keep checking back. I just might post a link to quizzes on each piece to prove you read them. If you pass, you will get 1000+ gold!

Please help me out. This is what I do for a living and I'd love some feedback.

Thanks,

Genrin619
Captain  

[Genrin619]

So, my poem "Steel and Concrete" was deleted because they screwed up and made a duplicate. I tried resubmitting it like they suggested, but the site won't allow me. Helium screws up and I pay the price. Rest assured I sent them a very angry, threatening email.

Here is the poem "Steel and Concrete":

Dark days, darker nights
Gone is the laughter
Gone are the people
Gone is the hope we had

God has emptied the world
The battle has ended
Nothing lives
Nothing remains of us

Nothing but concrete and steel
Slowly being reclaimed by the earth

We once imagined ourselves in control
Superior
We charged ahead, seemingly unstoppable

In our arrogance, we assumed
But the earth waited
Knowing it was not over
Knowing that it would endure
Long past our reign

Gone are we
Gone is our loud music
Our sirens, our anger, our evil
Replaced only by
The indifference and sweet music
That began the world in the first place
Before we came

Now only echoes of our lives
Now only shadows of our memories
Now only concrete and steel
And soon, even that will vanish

 

[Genrin619]

b u b b l e t e a_hime94

I read them all and finished off with We've Been Lied To. There is no word for the amount to describe how much I can relate to that last poem. We have, indeed, been lied to. Nothing is as it should be.

Brilliantly written! The words are scattered, yet there's a rhythm, like one's emotions when at that stage of thought. They all seem like poems from your heart and almost made me teary eyed. Please never stop writing. c:

Thanks so much! emotion_bigheart
I'm still working on a drawing for your birthday, but I'm thinking of doing a poem, too.