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[AP] Jawaad

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jackiee153

Eloquent Explorer

PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2013 11:18 pm


Ruelash's (slightly) Older Sister

Name: Jawaad (Pronounced: JAH-wahd Meaning: generous Ethnicity: Swahili)
Race: Ice Tribe Earthling
Gender: Girl
3 Base Traits: Responsible, Gentle, Selfless
Class: Prentence ->Archer
Personality:

Responsible: Jawaad's mother taught her to be responsible and provide for the family at a very young age, and her habits still carry over into her current life. Jawaad never, ever, ever, skips out on her chores or any other responsibilities she is given and is a bit of an over achiever when she is given a task. For example if some one were to ask her to make a meal, she would most likely make more of a feast then a meal.

Gentle: Jawaad's gentleness gives her a kind, quiet personality, which can be both good or bad. Jawaad's gentleness makes dealing with most people reactively easy, as she is rarely ever mean in the least, but, when dealing with violent or loud people (such as her brother) she has some issues. For example, if someone were to come yell in her face she would simply quietly speak against them, or maybe even sit there and take the blame, unless, of course, the person insults one of her friends or family members, then her extreme selflessness kicks in.

Selflessness: Right off the bat selflessness sounds like a good thing, right? Wrong. With most people selflessness means giving to the poor and standing up for those whom are less fortunate, but, Jawaad take selflessness to another level entirely. Jawaad would gladly stand up for pond scum, or throw herself in front of a bus to save a rat, or even starve to death to feed a poor person. Even though she is very gentle Jawaad sometimes even yells at people in defense of those whom she cares about, but that is very rare since her gentleness makes her slightly quiet, but everyone has a temper, hers just flares up a lot when other people talk smack about those whom she cares about. She tends to over work herself from time to time, even from time to time going with out food to provide for others, but those around her usually tell her so and make her take some time to herself before things get too deadly.

As an overall, even though her main personalities seem very kind and well, the combination of the three within Jawaad makes for a strange combination. Not only do the three traits make for an extremely stressed out, and a people pleaser, but also causes some troubles with her abilities as a fighter, but, since being an archer gives her the ability to swiftly kill she doesn't mind it so much. Regardless, she knows becoming a hunter will help out her people, and presses on, also because she wants to be of use, and use the training her mother gave her.Even though many think it is strange for such a gentle and kind person to get the guts to defend the ones she loves, but, in the case like her best friend was getting bullied or something, it is more of a natural reaction or reflex to help out. She might yell, or even get in a fight for the sake of others, but usually she doesn't think clearly. Also, due to her extreme sense of responsibility and her selflessness Jawaad is often seen as extremely trust worthy and possesses a good work ethic.


Description: Jawaad has very dark navy blue somewhat curly hair which ends ad the end of her skull (she is afraid that if she lets it grows out it will get caught in her bow) she has bangs on each side of her face that extend slightly lower though. She also possesses brownish-golden eyes, and most of her neck torso and shoulders are lightly dusted with blue crystals.

Tektek reference

Clothing: Jawaad has a light blue jacket which is lined with brown fur around the neck. She wears dark blue almost black baggy pants (almost like cargo pants), and shallow fur lined shoes. A fur lined glove on her right hand, to protect her fingers from cuts from her bow string.

Accessories: Jawaad always has her bow with her, and she also wears a series of multi colored bracelets, and a small smooth golden stone her mother gave her before she died as a necklace for good luck.

History:
When Jawaad was young her mother taught her to be a responsible, and gentle young lady. Her mother was her favorite family member in her younger years, they would take walks often, she even taught Jawaad how to shoot a bow. There were even some rumors that Jawaad was her mother's favorite child. Unfortunately, not long after Jawaad turned seven years old her mother became sick and died. Jawaad was crushed, but kept her head up, since she saw it as her duty to take care of her younger brother and set a good example. She was even more crushed when Relash's violence fared, but she refused to blame him for anything. She thought that if anyone was to blame it was her, just because she wanted her brother to take his anger ut on her rather then others. She doesn't remember all the little details about her mother, but she has a good memory and thus a good grasp over her mother's general being. However, she frequently goes hunting in memory of her mother, and aspires to be a hunter as her mother was.

Jawaad's wish to care for her family soon turned into a dangerous selflessness when her older brother died and her younger brother was suspected for murder. Jawaad soon began to protect her brother with all her being when people began speaking of murder, even if Ruelash wasn't present. Even now, she will defend anyone regardless of the consequences she receives.

Connections:
Father (Travelling): Jawaad's father, like her deceased brother, is a scout and is often abroad, making sure the known paths through the wastes are clear, safe, and current. He's rarely home, but when he is he is a fairly amicable guy. He loves to play with his grandchildren. Jawaad doesn't care much for him due to him being gone so often, but she respects him and when he is around she gladly treats him like he was never gone.

Mother (Deceased): Her mother was a hunter, and very protective of her children. She died of illness when he was young, around 7, she didn't know her very well, but she is thankful for the memories she has.

Ruelash-brother: Jawaad's brother Ruelash is very violent, which definitely opposes her gentle personality, but she puts up with him, only rarely speaking to him, since he is her brother and she knows that family has to stick together. She even asks to go on expeditions with him from time to time, in attempts to turn her tolerance into more of a relationship. But, regardless, lack of communication is usually her answer. She, unlike many of the villagers dose not fear or despise him, however, she is slightly afraid she will hurt someone and is always ready to protect some one from him if necessary, but she would simply take the blow if he were to try to hurt her.

Veshki - brother (deceased): The only male Earthling that her younger brother Ruelash could be said to have liked and respected, and she respected him for that. She knows that Ruelash loved Veshki, and dose not belive in the least that Ruelash may have killed him, since she knows, if anything, Ruelash probably would jump off the cliff himself before letting his favorite person die.

Ranla – Sister-in-law: Ranla was Veshki's wife. Jawaad dose not particularly like Ranla, especially how she treats Ruelash, but she knows that she loved Veshki, and is upset. Jawaad thinks Ranla should be kinder, but she tolerates her by ignoring her for the most part.

Niece 1:
A very energetic girl, since she prefers Ruelash she doesn't really talk to the girl, because she knows that if she trys she is ikely to get her ear talked off.

Niece 2:
She is very quiet and sweet, Jawaad still dose not talk with her a lot, but she will occasionally help her make food for Ruelash.


Nephew: a mere infant, because of Jawaad's gentleness he likes her, and, consequently, she is commonly in charge of baby sitting him.
PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 2:49 pm


HERE IS MY PIECE BY PIECE REVIEWWWWW
no grammar or spelling checks, btw, I dont do that. I just go thru it bit by bit and comment as i go.
Then i post it here.
Enjoy


Name:
Good. I like it.

Psst, secret, I just liked how ruelash sounded huurrr

Nice history bit about making her an archer. Connects her nicely to Mom, Dad, AND Veshki.

Doesnt match with her gentle personality? See if you can find a way to do that.

Responsible: So shes an overachiever who measures herself by what she can do for others.


Does she overwork herself? Does she have issues balancing her personal and private obligations?

Does she have issues where she starves because she worked so hard on dinner that she didnt get to eat much because she had to clean up?

Gentle:
What sort of issues? Get into some detail.

Selflessness:
I like this. She seems sweet and very low on self confidence. A character that could be interesting to play and very fun to grow

Personality: Three traits does not a person make. Why don't you give us the full deal?
Those are just the base traits. I'd like to get more than that, if you dont mind.

If you look at my characters- not the best example, I admit- you will see that they have their traits and then they also have a synopsis where all of the traits come together along with minor traits...
Would you mind doing something like that?

Appearance:
Hahaha I'm just a customer critiquer, but I'm all for short hair as NO OTHER DAMN GIRL IN THIS SHOP SAVE FOR DYAKIDA HAS SHORT HAIR... except maybe Zuri?
I think that the only problem you will have here is the crystals. I think Ice have it on their neck, front torso, and inner thighs. Ruelash has his crystals on neck, left shoulder, and mid arm, though you cant see them because he wears lots of stinky furs XD

Clothing and Accessories: Oooooo nice! Where is she wearing the golden stone?

History:
Was there any contention between Jawa and Lash? Lash was kind of a mamas boy for a while. Did mama favor Jawa over lash, leaving him to be with Veshki?
How did she feel about Veshki?
How does she feel about ruelash being suspected of murder? Does she think he did it even as she defends him?

So she defends everybody, not just him.
But shes a gentle person. Didn't I read that she was also quiet?
If shes quiet, would she speak up?

When mother died, what did she do?
Does she hunt?


Connections:

Father: Awww, thats sweet of her

Ruelash:
She 'puts up with him'?
How? Why?
Hes family, and the village thinks of him as a sort of beast that they have to keep occupied lest he turn on them. Its very apt.
How does she handle and manage him? Does he scare her?
Does she think he will hurt her? Someone else?

Veshki:
Well that answers my questions, but why doesnt she think Ruelash did it?
He was with Veshki at the time and came back with Veshki's body, covered with Veshki's blood.
Does she really believe it?
If she does, cool, but ive her reasons, even if its just conviction.

Ranla:
How does she tolerate her?

Overall:
A good start. Needs some polishing, but a good start.

DraconicFeline

Hilarious Genius

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jackiee153

Eloquent Explorer

PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 8:56 pm


DraconicFeline

All edited, I hopefully I fixed everything smile
PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 1:35 pm


FOR THE SAKE OF ADOPTABLES, I APPROVE OF THE CHARACTER AND LEAVE FURTHER FLESHING OUT IN THE HANDS OF OUR WONDERFUL AND CAPABLE PEOPLES <3

that aside heres a short crit



"Not only do the three traits make for an extremely stressed out, and a people pleaser, but also causes some troubles with her abilities as a fighter, but, since being an archer gives her the ability to swiftly kill she doesn't mind it so much. "

Okay. Makes sense. Does she ever feel upset over her course in life...

"She is still, a little jumpy when killing something when hunting though, but she knows it is for her own good and presses on."

Okay. Question answered.
So.
Why is she even in that profession? So far as I can tell, there is no taboo against noncombat classes for the ice tribe (IDK DONT QUOTE ME).
Did she feel she HAD to be an archer because she had to take over for Veshki?
Is she often troubled by her choices?
How does she deal with it?

"How ever, on the plus side her gentleness also comes out as meekness,"

I'm sorry, but how is this on the plus side....?

"and allows for quiet steps and a good stealth/hunting mode"

Gentleness is a personality trait.... not sure... how it relates to hunting other than making this very empathetic individual very sad or unmotivated to change her life...

"Also due to her extreme sense of responsibility and her selflessness Jawaad is often seen as extremely trust worthy and possesses a good work ethic,"

Yeah, okay :3
I can see that.

She might end up being everybody's b***h, though. :/

"she is even considered a near perfect child by a few."


...
Right so I have a problem with this part.
Compared to 'lash, i think everybody looks like a hundred bucks.
But perfect...?

How is she perfect?

Shes got a great work ethic. Yeah. Right. That works.

But shes also a meek, sweet individual who has a lot of trouble being a hunter, who stands up for her 'murdering' brother.

How do her combination of traits make her perfect?
PARTICULARLY as she isnt a child anymore. She's a teen. And while shes not an adult yet, I'm pretty sure they are expecting these teens to start making something of themselves and to start growing into who they are.
Obedience is great, but it seems to me that the emphasis around here is on solidarity and a good deal of thinking for oneself...
As long as that works with the needs of the group.

Not revolution so much as improvement of the tribe (or in the case of wind and ice the society)

How does being a meek girl help this?

With Biroki, he's far from being perfect.
He's helpful, he's nice, he's creative... but he's also wimpy and fearful and terrible in a fight.
He works hard to carry his own weight and fight his fear- or use his fear- and use his strengths to his advantage, and he has the potential to cast the spells that make the people fall down.
He has potential but a lot of the supporting elements of that potential are still being built up.
If he ends up in a war casting his spells against people, hes likely to not feel particularly glorious or honorable. He knows, personally even, some of the people he is likely to fight against.
He's building those supports, he's working hard, he's getting mentored by someone who knows him and understands him.

Jawaad seems similar to him- a sweet person in a combat track of a class.
So.
I guess what I'm saying is, why?
I think. I never know what the hell I'm saying.


Anyway. Thats what I got.

DraconicFeline

Hilarious Genius

9,175 Points
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jackiee153

Eloquent Explorer

PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 9:00 pm


Fixed smile
PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 9:46 am


The revisions seem to be coming along. :] I just have one more question for you and then maybe Satin can check it out for the final apporval.

Her intense selflessness has her sticking up for anyone who needs it, but her gentle nature has her trying to please others by taking the blame. How do these two things interact without conflicting? It seems to me that she doesn't have much of a back bone in order to please others so how does she get up the guts to stand up for those she cares about?

I'm glad that you have a tektek reference to give me an idea of what you want for her hair, and it will definitely be nice to add some numbers to the short haired girls. The rest of her appearence seems fine to me and her new crystal locations are perfect.

kaname423
Crew


jackiee153

Eloquent Explorer

PostPosted: Sat Feb 23, 2013 9:26 am


kaname423

I think I fixed it smile
Thank you blaugh
PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2013 8:45 am


User Image

We're all looking forward to Jawaad's big debut here in Tendaji! heart

jackiee153

Suhuba
Captain


Suhuba
Captain

PostPosted: Tue Apr 23, 2013 7:59 am


jackiee153


I don't know what happened to my brain, but I never made Jawaad's journal gonk

Here it is
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