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Name: vitula picato

Blood Colour: #9C9C00

Gender: Male

Symbol: F-Holes

Personality: He is a troll who you may think at times was hatched with the wrong blood color. Vitula was hatched as a yellow blood who would soon grow into a troll who would prefer to stay Hemo-Anonymous. The reasoning for wanting to be Hemo-Anonymous is not due to shame of being a yellow blood, but simply for the fact that he believes blood color should not decided who he should and shouldn’t be. He takes great pride in the way he looks, acts, and how he sounds. Just because he is seen as a low-blood with no class doesn’t exactly mean he needs to act in such a manner.

When he had first arisen from his trials in the caverns it took him a while for a lusus to pick him. He sat close by the entrance of the cave waiting for a beast to claim him. It was after a bit a rather small feathery beast had finally picked him, the beast landed on his horns. Vitula had taken this one word as a sign that meant the lusus had chosen to be his caretaker. He discovered that the lusus had the ability to mimic certain words that the young troll would say. It ended up being only one syllable long words that the lusus could utter. His lusus and him began their journey together to find a new home soon after they met. Vitula watched how most of the high-blooded trolls were heading towards a city of lights and noise. He began to walk in the same direction until his lusus nipped on his shirt pulling him towards a different path. The path his lusus had directed him to go was one with all low-blooded trolls heading to a town made up of stone walls, and smoke from factories.

Once at the new town where vitula would begin his life, he found himself living in a small hive pushed up against a canyon wall, next to a factory that was fully operational every hour of the day. After a few days of setting up his new life with his lusus, Vitula finally decided to walk around his new hometown and see what it had to offer. It was on this day his life would be touched by more then a few things.

Upon walking around town with his lusus he saw trolls gathering around the entrance of the town. It was here he saw trolls who looked very fancy and exotic coming in. He watched as rows on rows of trolls came in playing instruments. Some trolls were blowing on brass instruments, others on wooden ones, and some playing on one instrument that really caught his eye. A weird wooden one with strings attached to it. He watched in amazement as they marched into town filling it with noises that he had once heard when making his way to his new home.

He asked an older troll close to him what was going on and who the trolls that were coming in were. The troll had told him how the town they lived in was called Chittentown, and it was here where most of the tech and weapons where made for the queen and other trolls of Alternia. The older troll continued to tell Vitula about how the people who were marching in with the instruments where the royal band, and the fancy looking trolls where high-bloods who came with the queen to pick up new tech and to talk to the people of Chittentown to continue the hard work and to keep her pleased.

Vitula asked the older troll then if he would ever be able to be as fancy as the trolls coming in. The older troll only laughed and told him how if he lived here in Chittentown, going to New Hemisect City where they lived would only be a waste of time. When Vitula asked why it would be a waste of time for him to try, the older troll told him it was because of the color of his blood. Only those who were born with majestic colored blood where destined for the good life, the older troll told him. Vitula refused to believe this and had made the decision that day, that he would become so refined, so intelligent, and so loyal to the queen that he would one day join the ranks of the high-blooded trolls.

Every time high-bloods would show up into town Vitula would go and watch how they acted. The way they would wave, how they would stand, the way they dressed, and of course the way they would speak. He often heard how they would call the trolls of Chittentown “Rust bloods”. It was here vitula learned about hemo-discrimination. Vitula took the note that if he would ever hope to talk to one of the high-bloods he might want to keep his blood color a secret. It was one day while following one of the trolls who was in the royal band that Vitula saw him go into a shop with his instrument and walk out with some beetles. Vitula ran into the store to see what he had done to his instrument and saw how he had sold it. It was even the one instrument that had first caught his attention, the wooden one, with the four strings attached to it. This is where Vitula had gotten the idea of purchasing the instrument and learning how to make it sing. He had gotten down the terms the high-bloods used, he had also taken up a hobby that they did, the only thing left for him to do now was to look the part. The next time the royal band had came to town he followed a group of them to a bar they went to. He watched as one troll had gotten something on them after a clumsy rust blood had bumped into him. The troll from the royal band took his clothing off and put on a spare outfit he had and threw away the now messy suit in the trash. Vitula took his chances and went to gather it up and brought it back to his hive where he cleaned it up and tailored it to his height and width. He saw himself in the mirror and smiled for a second. He hoped he was taking the right steps into becoming accepted by the high-bloods.

He would keep his blood color a secret for now but when he had finally made it to the top. When he was accepted by high-bloods from all around, then he would reveal himself to everyone for what his actual blood color is. Most of his time was now dedicated learning more about the troll history, culture, and skills that he would use often practice with when high-bloods came to town. Whether is was an attempt to get one to wave back to him or trying to keep a conversation going Vitula was determined to become like them.

After becoming determined to be as fancy as the high-bloods, Vitula, started learning a lot of different things about himself. Such as his love for getting all dressed up and looking prestigious. As well as learning new things about troll history and other topics. He of course also enjoys music from his violin, and hopes one day to be invited to a big party in New Hemisect city. Since he has adopted the ideals and mannerisms of the high-bloods he has also come to dislike such things as getting his clothes dirty. He also dislikes high-bloods who refer to low-bloods as "rust" bloods. This of course helps feed his desire to show high-bloods that low-bloods can be just as intelligent, fancy and loyal as the rest. Over all Vitula tries to remain as classy, gentleman-like and tries stand up to high-blood standards for the most part.

Vitula tries to deal with conflict in the way of words. He prefers to try talking things out with his enemy or troll he has conflict with. He will even try to strike a deal with said troll, anything really to avoid breaking out weapons and fighting. He does understand though that sometimes it can’t be helped and fighting is the only option he or a group of trolls has.


Strengths:
Determined: Vitula doesn’t even know what the words give up mean! He will always keep on trying till he gets it down perfect. Whether it be learning a new song on his violin or solving a problem that is keeping him from his goal Vitula just wont simply throw his hands in the air and walk away.

Eager to learn: In order for Vitula's dreams to become a reality and join the ranks of the high-bloods. He spends a great deal of time studying up on troll history, culture, music, and what the Queen is doing. He will take what he learns and apply it to real situation in his home town when the high-bloods come to town. Talking to them and playing for them and seeing what they have to say.

Dexterity: This allows him to use difficult range weapons quite skillfully. Along with that his reflexes are honed to the point where he can quickly recover himself after tripping, sliding, or falling. Vitula felt that one trait most High-bloods had was good dexterity and accuracy. His mind set was the fancier the weapon the better he was. He trained his dexterity by placing up paper targets in his home and throwing darts at them. He would do this until he hit a bullseye on each target and then some.

Flaws:

Show off: Sometimes vitula can have a big head and act like the high-bloods he doesn't like. When he walks around with other low-blood he may at times scoff at them for saying something wrong and telling them how to really say it as well as it's origin. Sometimes one troll maybe talking to another and he'll pull out his instrument and start playing it to get the attention back on him. It can be a downfall seeing as being a show off can attract both wanted and un-wanted trolls.

Perfectionist: Because he tries to live up to the high-blood standards, he has adopted the ocd of having everything clean and tidy. A single smudge of dirt is just enough to set vitula of the deep end and causes him to pick up a mop and bucket.

Flustered: He will often times get flustered when he has too much on his hands. Though he is always ready to take on new task he sometimes finds himself biting off more then he can chew. When he begins to get flustered he tends to mess things up more than usual. This causes him to need to take a step back and and come back to what he was doing later. When it comes time to fight through his fluster, he will act a bit more primal then usual.

Weapon: Clunky Old Tommy Gun that he keeps in his violin case when he is going somewhere dangerous.

Appearance: Vitula has spiky black hair. He sports a nice long black tailcoat. Under that he has black tuxedo pants and a nice yellowish button up shirt. His shoes are nothing but a black pair of ordinary shoes. He wears his symbol on the right side of his tailcoat. His horns are shaped that of which looks to be music notes.

Home: Vitula lives in the second largest city named chittentown. He lives smacked up against the wall off the canyon next to a factory that works non-stop. Vitula usually will wake up in the middle of the night due to the noise of the factory. His hive isn’t the biggest around. He doesn’t mind the small area though seeing as it is only he and his lusus living here.

Lusus: Vitulas lusus is a rather small feather beast who has the ability to mimic one syllable words that the troll has said. The lusus is often used as a messenger for vitula sending packages and messages back and forth with other trolls. He also uses his Lusus to fly in close to high-bloods and listen to their conversations in order to learn some new words the high-bloods use. Vitula believes if he works hard enough with the feathery beast, maybe one day it will be able to mimic entire sentences. Growing up with the lusus, Vitula was able to practice his social skills regularly, this explains why he is very good at talking with others and prefers to talk out his problems than solve it with physical violence. His lusus wishes Vitula would try to be himself instead of try to become something he is not. Sense his lusus blood color is the same as vitulas, he sometime feels like vitula hates his blood color, which is the same as his lusus.


Powers: N/A

Time for a Sypon crit!

First, I suggest having someone take a look over your application for grammar, capitalization and spelling. I know you’ve said in the past that you’re not the greatest at it and that you're gonna address that, but this is a RP shop and that’s key! Have someone look over applications for these sorts of things so that you can be up to the standard, even if it takes you a couple of iterations. There are quite a number of awkward or hard to read sentences, as well as general errors like past/present tense shifts.

On to character stuff!

But before I start… Could you post just a little description about the origins of his name and symbol? Sometimes they’re self explanatory but particularly “F-Holes” isn’t, if you catch my drift. I do see it from the reference picture, but if you’d like to elaborate that’d be swell. (This is mostly a Sypon tidbit).

Personality:

My big question at the beginning is Vitula’s entrance to Chittentown. I can buy that he wouldn’t remember due to age (though honestly there hasn’t been much of a memory gap since the wiggler trials when troll’s are essentially toddlers and child stage, so consider that), but I still don’t understand how it fits into everything. It shows that his lusus is protective and wants to get him out of harm’s way, but as an outside observer I’m having a hard time with the event itself. If it was a big event like it seems, it doesn’t particularly seem like a big mystery. If it’s more of a hush-hush ordeal, then that may be an interesting point of intrigue – you could even tie it in to the “mob” scene you’ve got going on if you so choose. Basically, without the context of the event it’s hard to judge how this is really important for Vitula.

There’s not a lot of fictional material or non-propaganda films on Alternia, and even less that focus on crime. If Vitula is watching mafia movies, then he really has to do it on the down low because it’s hugely taboo! Keep this in mind if you’d like to keep this trait. If you want to change it up, think about the type of mafia movies that he watches – if he really wants to be hard boiled he may watch the nitty gritty, but he could probably get away with watching pro-Imperial mafia films in public. Also – how did Vitula get interested in movies? Was his lusus a part of it or did he find it on his own? Show the origins of his hobbies so that they don’t just seem tacked on.

His “shy” flaw/personality trait is rather wishy washy right now. It seems like he’s shy unless he knows someone or unless someone talks down to him, which can happen quite frequently with his blood color. Figure out if he’s truly shy or if he just prefers to live alone, and really nail down this trait.

Additionally, if he has a bad temper to drones or highbloods, how does he get away with it and not get culled?

Think about what “mafia boss” means to Vitula, considering what kind of mafia films he watches. Generally rethink this isea and retool it so that you commit to the “crime” side or an idealized, naïve “not-so-crime” side of it. You seem to have an idea of what he perceives organized crime to be – commit to those choices!

Also, after Vitula has been talked down to, how does he interact with the aggressing troll? You had previously established that he blows his lid if he’s talked down to; does his colorblind charity run out?

Strengths/Flaws:

Eager to learn – please elaborate on this one. Start by describing what Vitula likes to learn. What does he like to learn about (besides music of course)? Does he put his skills into practice or is he just filled with trivia?

Short-tempered – I don’t know how personable or non-robotic drones are, but the main issue is that if Vitula talks back to law enforcement in the city he’s gonna get culled. Rethink this one.

Lusus:
Has s/he rubbed off on Vitula at all? What does Vitula call him or her? I’m still not getting a strong personality from the lusus.
“Vitual hates it though hen his lusus talks to other trolls causing them to talk to vitual and grow very shy.”
An example of a confusing sentence because of all of the spelling craziness! Clean up and quadruple check, dude!

I hope that helps xp Sorry it wasnt in paragraphs in the first place. whee

Thank you for the crit!!

I'll probably switch loner and short temper out. I keep looking at it and you bring up a valid point about rps and the whole push and shove!

I'll check up on the lusus say "you" I'll probably take that part out . It's more filler then any thing.

Any tips about the dexterity trait? As well as like and dislikes? I have a hard time making personalities. Which is why I did the whole big story line thing.

Thank you again by the way!

I think I might have nailed it this time, and by that I mean I think it got it a little bit better haha.

some last little grammatical errors o u o ->

trails > trials
stonewalls > stone walls
would be touch > would be touched
vitula > Vitula (in a few places)
one troll had gotten something on it > one troll had gotten something on them
in to > into
from all around and then he > from all around, then he
a attempt > an attempt
as the high-bloods Vitula, started learning > as the high-bloods, Vitula started learning
any thing > anything
cant be help > can't be helped
only option him or a > only option he or a
allows him use difficult > allows him to use difficult
down fall > downfall
tighty > tidy
smug > smudge
of the > off the
more then usual > more than usual (same with more prim then usual)
fluster-ness > fluster (don't need the ness)
through his fluster will cause him to act > through his fluster, he will act
seconded > second
on the regular > regularly
Which explains > This explain
his problems then solve > his problems than solve
Sense > Since
which is the same as his lusus > not necessary to repeat smile


(i just noticed, you said Vitula has yellow highlights in his hair. this contradicts with him being hemoanonymous - so you might want to change it!)