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 Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 5:50 am
I just had a very disturbing conversation with a fellow transman on a board unaffiliated with the guild.
He asserts that he hates women who accidentally pass as male, perhaps because their expression includes clothes that might traditionally go within the male spectrum. Androgynous women were given a few categories, as well as "dykes," which I insisted he should not say (to no true avail).
I hate seeing this sort of thing. While I might not feel that trans* is really about who you're attracted to (sexuality and gender are two completely different things), we are all in the same boat and should be aware of the struggles each of us have and support each other rather than decide who is "gayest" or who "passes" best. The problem this transman has also has nothing to do with androgynous women on any strand; the problem is the people who misgender. The people who don't respect identities and think sex and gender are prepackaged in pink and blue boxes.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that we should try to be aware of each other, and rather than find ways to divide ourselves, be as inclusive as we can and boost our least common denominators as strongly as we do those whose issues are currently in national spotlight.
We get enough hate from outside. lets try to be a safe space while we're together.
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Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 10:22 am
I tend to fall under the category of androgynous women, I suppose, especially when I wear my leather jacket. I agree with you saying that the problem is people who misgender. Society tends to hold the belief that if you dress/look/act a certain way, it must mean that you belong to a certain gender, regardless of what gender you actually identify as.
I definitely think that the whole who "passes" thing is ridiculous. The subject of one's identity is hard enough without someone telling you that you don't 'fit' into a particular category properly. I may not be gay or trans myself, but I still have quite a few memories of being labeled because I wasn't as feminine as the other girls were in my town, so I understand the idea of being badgered because you don't meet the expectations of others based on your gender identity. It's not fun, and I know that it certainly made me question myself quite a bit when I was younger.
I digress, I definitely see where you're coming from. People should spend more time supporting each other more, and less time judging them.
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Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 10:59 am
Precisely what I mean. I know I'm preaching to the choir, for the most part, here, but if you're not hurting anyone, why should other people worry about your lifestyle choices especially those involving two consenting adults?
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Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 11:51 am
lol im male passing and i dont even have to try that hard. if i have my hair puleld back or and wearing a hood and wearing baggy clothes ive been mistaken for a man. im a cis woman and dont try to look like a man, i just have good genes for it i guess so long as you cant see my huge hips. my 9th grade teacher thought i was a guy for a while even though i wore girl's clothes. why does he hate women that accidently pass as male?
anyways, its fine to be annoyed by some other people in the lgbt community so long as you stay respectful of things that dont affect your life in any way
as for the term dyke, i use it all the time. depending on how you use it determines wether or not its offensive.
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Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 12:36 pm
This is why I don't like people.
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Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 12:56 pm
uhhcharizard He asserts that he hates women who accidentally pass as male, perhaps because their expression includes clothes that might traditionally go within the male spectrum. Do I understand it right that he hates women, just because their aesthetic choice makes people believe they are male, even if they don't intend to look male at all? In that case, I'm confused.
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Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 1:18 pm
MadPad uhhcharizard He asserts that he hates women who accidentally pass as male, perhaps because their expression includes clothes that might traditionally go within the male spectrum. Do I understand it right that he hates women, just because their aesthetic choice makes people believe they are male, even if they don't intend to look male at all? In that case, I'm confused. i may have had poor wording, though I'm not sure this correction will help. I believe the quote was "I hate it when women pass as men" and something to the tune of being even angrier when they do not correct the person for misgendering them.
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Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 1:38 pm
uhhcharizard i may have had poor wording, though I'm not sure this correction will help. I believe the quote was "I hate it when women pass as men" and something to the tune of being even angrier when they do not correct the person for misgendering them. I still do not understand what there is to hate. When a women visually passes as a man, intentional or not, I just assume it's their business. Heck, I wouldn't even know unless they tell me. xd I also do not understand why it gets him so angry when such women do not correct a person misgendering them. There could be plenty of reasons why they don't do that, maybe they get misgendered all the time and simply don't care anymore. I get the impression that he has a lot of irrational hate, I simply do not get the issue.
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Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:07 pm
i sorta understand, but not enough to justify the behavior. he was angry that he couldn't pass as well as some of the women he mentioned.
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Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:35 pm
Oh, I see... I guess it's a natural thing to be envious from time to time, but it shouldn't result in blind hatred. He may have difficulties with resembling the gender he intends to resemble, but it's neither those women's fault nor his (I assume it is because of his natural physiology, not his ability to dress accordingly).
It may be an arbitrary assumption, but I get the feeling that he might need someone to appreciate his outward appearance, so that he can become more comfortable with himself and cease to feel negatively towards women with masculine appearance.
We can't know for sure unless he tells us the facts, I suppose. ^-^
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Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 3:10 pm
I think the problem with people these days is that they're giving it WAYYYY to much thought, and they're just letting it me.
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Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 4:11 pm
MadPad Oh, I see... I guess it's a natural thing to be envious from time to time, but it shouldn't result in blind hatred. He may have difficulties with resembling the gender he intends to resemble, but it's neither those women's fault nor his (I assume it is because of his natural physiology, not his ability to dress accordingly). It may be an arbitrary assumption, but I get the feeling that he might need someone to appreciate his outward appearance, so that he can become more comfortable with himself and cease to feel negatively towards women with masculine appearance. We can't know for sure unless he tells us the facts, I suppose. ^-^
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Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 10:09 pm
Dan has more issues than National Geographic...
He needs to sort out his own s**t before he can even start dealing with his "pet peeves".
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Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 2:09 pm
Blackrose_Knight Dan has more issues than National Geographic...
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Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 3:26 pm
Noah Regrets I just had a very disturbing conversation with a fellow transman on a board unaffiliated with the guild. He asserts that he hates women who accidentally pass as male, perhaps because their expression includes clothes that might traditionally go within the male spectrum. Androgynous women were given a few categories, as well as "dykes," which I insisted he should not say (to no true avail). I hate seeing this sort of thing. While I might not feel that trans* is really about who you're attracted to (sexuality and gender are two completely different things), we are all in the same boat and should be aware of the struggles each of us have and support each other rather than decide who is "gayest" or who "passes" best. The problem this transman has also has nothing to do with androgynous women on any strand; the problem is the people who misgender. The people who don't respect identities and think sex and gender are prepackaged in pink and blue boxes. I guess what I'm trying to say is that we should try to be aware of each other, and rather than find ways to divide ourselves, be as inclusive as we can and boost our least common denominators as strongly as we do those whose issues are currently in national spotlight. We get enough hate from outside. lets try to be a safe space while we're together. I had to vote yes on the poll simply because of that guy existing, though I would have otherwise voted no. Kinda want to punch him in his face. Repeatedly. And I'm not usually a violent person.
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