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The Quest for Alder

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Arianna Wolfetta

PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2013 5:49 pm


Prologue: The Vision


A girl sat shaking with fear in a cold, dark, and damp room. It was a jail cell. The girl looked out her window to see an over cast sky. She sighed with what seemed to be relief, until something moved in the shadows. It made a strange hissing sound. The creature moved closer, careful to stay in the shadows. It pushed toward her a blank sheet of paper and pen, its clawed and scaled hand made visible by the oil lamp hanging in the middle of the room. It made a series of hisses and growls and waited. The girl picked up the pen and started to sweat, a single drop sliding past her eye, her long, dark, straight hair catching it, she hesitated. The creature came forward into the light, its large lizard like head becoming visible. It was not happy.

Far away in the small village of Akon a girl with long, dark, straight, hair had fallen to her knees screaming in agony.
 
PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2013 6:31 pm


Chapter 1: Shaheen Explains
“Zeeva, are you okay?” a familiar voice said in worry.
Zeeva groaned, “Yeah I’m fine, thanks Cal. Where’s Master Shaheen?” she said suspiciously as she glanced at him.
“I’m here, child.” Master Shaheen said in a calm, caring voice as he entered the small wooden cottage that served as his home, and class room for those he taught.
“Master Shaheen I had another vision.” Zeeva said, shivering as she recalled the lizard like face of the creature. Master Shaheen stayed silent while Zeeva recounted her vision only when he knew she was done did he say, “Cal, would you mind going out and picking some lilies for me?”
“Why? We have plenty and it’s not even close to the full moon, besides the Burning of Lilies isn't for another four moon cycles!” Cal said in annoyance.
“Cal.” Master Shaheen pressed, his voice becoming more serious.
“Fine.” Cal said as he glared at Zeeva. Master Shaheen watched as Cal walked out of the cottage.
“Master, that lizard creature, what was it?” asked Zeeva.
Master Shaheen sighed and said, “I had hoped they were wrong….”
“Master?” Zeeva asked.
“That creature you saw, it was a drakon, servant of King Darius.”
“How could it be a servant of King Darius? I know he’s evil but does he really have enough power to control those things?” she asked
“Zeeva you have no idea the kind of power he possesses now that he has control of the drakon!” Master Shaheen exclaimed.
“Are the drakon really that powerful?” she asked
“Zeeva, why don’t you come to the Great Hill tonight?” Master Shaheen asked, a smile was on his age worn face.
“Why?” she asked, then realizing what he was up to she said with a sly smile, “What time should I be there?”
“Twilight.”
“I’ll be there.”
*****************************************************
“Hello Master.” Zeeva said as she sat down next to Master Shaheen.
“Zeeva, what I tell you tonight must stay secret, if Darius’s spies hear this we will both die; do you still want to know?” Master Shaheen said a bit worried.
“Yes.”
“Alright, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He sighed, “The drakon are distant relatives of the dragons,” he started, “while the dragon embodies all that is good in the world, the drakon embodies all that is evil, they are the demons and their power is equal to those of the dragons, at times more so.” He continued. “The man who was foolish enough to command the drakon was a terrible and cruel king who was killed by the drakon and Alder.”
“Alder? Who’s Alder?” asked Zeeva.
“No one is really sure. Some say it’s the great wizard Merlin’s staff, others believe it to be Excalibur, while others believe it to be a person, no one is sure.”
 

Arianna Wolfetta


Arianna Wolfetta

PostPosted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 4:39 pm


*sigh* a few comments on the story that I have next to nothing on, yet no comments on the story that have a lot done..... *sigh* cry
PostPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 9:17 am


*cricket chirps* and still nothing crying

Arianna Wolfetta


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 10:43 am


I like it. It needs some work in flowing, unless it is a script.

-Zeeva: “Ung!” she groaned- This bugs me. It would sound better as -Zeeva groaned-

Now...my image of these characters is that they are sophisticated, prim, and proper without the snootiness. If I am right they would say -Yes- not -Yeah- If I am wrong then disregard smile

Other than that I would insert some more descriptive actions.
PostPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 12:37 pm


Snowblazer
I like it. It needs some work in flowing, unless it is a script.

-Zeeva: “Ung!” she groaned- This bugs me. It would sound better as -Zeeva groaned-

Now...my image of these characters is that they are sophisticated, prim, and proper without the snootiness. If I am right they would say -Yes- not -Yeah- If I am wrong then disregard smile

Other than that I would insert some more descriptive actions.
Thanks, and I know its a bit rough, this is my first draft of it, and thanks for the idea with the groan. I had been wanting to change it but hadn't been able to come up with a good way to do it, so thanks!

Arianna Wolfetta


Arianna Wolfetta

PostPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 12:43 pm


Chapter 2 The Quest Begins

“Master, does anyone know where Alder is?” asked Zeeva, “I’ve been thinking about it since we talked last night and if Alder killed the cruel king last time, could he not do so now?” she continued

“You are adventurous my child.” Master Shaheen said with a laugh, “However, no one knows exactly where Alder is. All that is known is that he is in the Far East, a land where dragons rule and drakon fear to go. You’ll know your close when you feel more at ease then you ever have before, due to the lack of drakon. You must be prepared for the long trek and you MUST be able to defend yourself.” he continued.

“I realize this Master, but I feel that I must go. I don’t understand it, but I know how to hunt and I’m very accurate with my bow. I can do this, I must do this.” she replied.

“I understand my child.” he said, then added, “Before you go come see me for there was a time when this old bag of bones,” he said with a laugh, “was a traveler and I still have my tent and some fur skins you may use.” he finished.

“Thank-you Master.” she said with sadness in her voice as she thought of leaving this old and ageing man. As she stood still sadness overcame her; she dropped to her knees and began to cry. Her vision blurred. She thought of how her parents death when she was five years old and how Master Shaheen took her in and raised her himself, she cried harder. Master Shaheen knelt down next to her and held her. “I’ll leave tonight,” she whispered, “and I WILL return.”

Later that night as the sun was setting she said good-bye to everyone. As she turned away from them and headed east a single tear slid down her cheek; she did not look back. As Master Shaheen watched her he whispered, “The time of the Prophesy is now, and when it is over fear will no longer rule this kingdom.”
*****************************************************
Zeeva finally stopped walking and set up camp; it was moon high. As she gathered wood for her fire she said to herself, “I need to come up with a plan, I can’t just wonder aimlessly!” She looked though the pack Master Shaheen had given her and found a map. “Good old Master Shaheen.” she said with a sad laugh. She put it away and pulled out her sleeping bag as she was too tired to think straight.
*****************************************************
She woke up to the birds singing. She yawned and pulled out the map, just as she opened it she heard a rustle in the leaves. She slowly put down the map and grabbed her bow and notched an arrow in it ready to shoot at the thief she was sure she was hiding. The leaves rustled again, she took aim. She let the arrow fly just as the creature came out, it was a rabbit.
“Wow!” she said, “One night in the woods and I’m already paranoid!” she said laughing at her stupidity. “At least I have breakfast.” she said as skinned and gutted the rabbit. As she cooked the rabbit she grabbed the map again and considered her options. She came up with a plan. “I’m going to Youla.” she said to herself.
******************************************
As she entered the gates to Youla she saw a crowd of women and girls listening to a man of nineteen or twenty with short brown hair.
“He’s gorgeous!” she whispered in awe. She approached the crowd and asked a woman, “What’s going on?”

The woman answered, “See that man over there?” she asked pointing to the man she had seen. Zeeva nodded her head. “That, my dear, is Prince Shar, son of King Darius.”

Another woman chimed in and said, “And he’s gorgeous!”

Hearing that the man was son of her enemy made Zeeva’s heart sink, “Thank-you.” She said to the two women half-heartedly and walked away. Zeeva was astonished at the size of the city as it was twenty times bigger than her small village of Akron. She was overwhelmed. She went and found a man who sold horses and she bought one, she then went and sold the rabbit hide as it was too small to use. As she walked around she soon realized she was lost.

“Excuse me sir.” she said as she tapped on a tall man’s shoulder.
“Yes?” the man said as he turned around. Zeeva gasped, it was King Darius’s son, Prince Shar, and he was more beautiful in person.

“Zeeva?” a man from behind her asked.

“Yes?” she replied, then added, “Galder? Is that you?” she asked the big, burly grey haired man walking toward her.

“Hello Zeeva.” Galder said as she ran and gave him a hug. Galder led her to a small house down a street near where she had run into Prince Shar.

“Welcome to my home.” Galder said as he held the door open for her.

“Thanks Galder.” she said with a smile.

“No problem.” he laughed, “Now what is a beautiful nineteen year old girl from little old Akron doing here in Youla?” he asked still laughing.

Zeeva laughed and hit him in the shoulder, then said, “Getting supplies.”

“Supplies? What for?” he asked a bit more serious now.

“I’m going east and I need to stock up.”

“You’re going to look for Alder aren’t you?” he asked in a serious whisper.

“No, of course not.” she lied, then realizing it was pointless to lie to him she said, “Yes.”

“I’m coming with you. Don’t try to argue you’re not going to win; besides you’ll have a better chance to succeed if you have help.” Galder said.

“Thank-you Galder, it‘ll be nice to have some company.” said Zeeva with a smile.

“But know this, I can only go as far as Palon, sorry Zeeva.” he said.

“How come???”

He coughed a bit nervously and said, “The Misses won’t let me…..” Zeeva laughed. “Shut up!” he said a bit embarrassed.

“It’s fine I won’t mention it,” she started.

“Prince Shar” he muttered

“If you don’t mention him.” She finished as she thought of Shar’s short brown hair and his laughing brown eyes.

“Deal.”
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