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 Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2006 11:52 pm
I am under so much stress and pressure, I think i am dealing with it fine. But i have had thoughts of cutting and other acts.
I am overweight, i have no friends hardly, i am always alone, i am always taking care of my family and i am only 14. how can i deal with all of this stuff? doesn't n e one realise what all of this is doing to me? i just need release somehow. i can't get away, and i can't do n e thing i want to because no one will do it with me or i don't have the time or i'm not allowed. i am a teenager and i need to go out and have fun like other teenagers. i have two older sisters that do not do n e thing and that are always borrowing money from my mom and i and never paying us back so i dont have n e money to do n e thing. and my oldest sister has an 11 month old daughter that we always watch constantly. and i take care of her in the night. and my sister has another one on the way next month, and we are going to have to take care of that one also. she doesn't know how to do n e thing herself and i always have to do work around the house and always have to go places with everyone and help them. i need to help myself. i should be able to hang out with friends and go places. and do other teenager things. my sisters have had their chance and i have to ignore mine by taking care of my family and all of their problems. i just don't know what to do n e more. i'm about to blow up. i just need something to help me.
i don't want to harm myself or n e thing but i feel that it is the only way i will get rid of all of the stress from my life. can someone please help me?
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Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 7:37 pm
Self harm solves nothing, trust me. It's just that people have such an elated idea that self harm WILL make their stress go away, that they - in a sense - make themselves believe that it's true. If you think you're stressed now, just wait until someone has you sent to a therapist/psychiatrist.
Stress is hard, and it sounds like you have way too much on your shoulders, especially for someone so young. You should be proud of yourself for all of it though.
I understand that they're your family and you feel compelled to help them - but maybe you should take some time for yourself. If they want you to help them with something, tell them you have something else to do. If you want to hang out with someone - do it. You don't HAVE to support your family that much, or take care of your sister's baby (especially since it's not your child - it really is her responsibilty, and sorry to say, she's not making a very good parent by leaving it to her younger sister.)
As far as lending money - just say no. If they're taking this money to go and do something fun, then it's not nessicary to give it to them, as they don't NEED it, merely want it.
Help your family, but don't let them walk all over you. Learn to say no, and learn that you have your own needs that sometimes need to come first.
Best of luck, I hope it all works out.
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Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 9:49 am
Cutting/hurting yourself to relieve stress is extremely stupid. It might help temporarily, but then you have to deal with the stress of hiding it or dealing with nasty questions when people find out. Not to mention that you will most certainly regret it when you are older.
Money - Stop lending out your money. Simple! Just explain to your sisters that you want to spend some on yourself too. You will start lending it to them once they have shown that they will actually pay you back. Yeah, they may hate you for it for a while, but sometimes you just have to put your foot down.
Fun Stuff - The child isn't yours. She's your sister's. Definitely babysit from time to time, that's what sisters are for. But staying in while the mother of the child is out partying is not ok. Just make plans for yourself and if your sister expects you to babysit, just tell her that it's her baby and her responsibility. You need some fun too.
Being overweight really sucks. But I find it best to just come to terms with it. Stay healthy, get excercise, make sure you don't have any health problems. But beyond that, just enjoy yourself. Take up some hobbies, do things you can be proud of. That's what really matters. ANd yes, I know most kids at your school will probably tell you differently. But as cliche as it sounds, they are just dealing with their own insecurities by picking on yours. Don't let them.
I think that most of your problems (or at least the reason your problems hurt you so much) is because you let people take advantage of you. You need to start looking out for #1. Do things for yourself and don't back down just because someone throws a tantrum or something. You have a right to enjoy your life. Defend that right.
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Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 5:51 pm
Kukushka Cutting/hurting yourself to relieve stress is extremely stupid. It might help temporarily, but then you have to deal with the stress of hiding it or dealing with nasty questions when people find out. Not to mention that you will most certainly regret it when you are older. Money - Stop lending out your money. Simple! Just explain to your sisters that you want to spend some on yourself too. You will start lending it to them once they have shown that they will actually pay you back. Yeah, they may hate you for it for a while, but sometimes you just have to put your foot down. Fun Stuff - The child isn't yours. She's your sister's. Definitely babysit from time to time, that's what sisters are for. But staying in while the mother of the child is out partying is not ok. Just make plans for yourself and if your sister expects you to babysit, just tell her that it's her baby and her responsibility. You need some fun too. Being overweight really sucks. But I find it best to just come to terms with it. Stay healthy, get excercise, make sure you don't have any health problems. But beyond that, just enjoy yourself. Take up some hobbies, do things you can be proud of. That's what really matters. ANd yes, I know most kids at your school will probably tell you differently. But as cliche as it sounds, they are just dealing with their own insecurities by picking on yours. Don't let them. I think that most of your problems (or at least the reason your problems hurt you so much) is because you let people take advantage of you. You need to start looking out for #1. Do things for yourself and don't back down just because someone throws a tantrum or something. You have a right to enjoy your life. Defend that right. I agree completely.
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Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 2:45 pm
Naughty Koolaid Self harm solves nothing, trust me. It's just that people have such an elated idea that self harm WILL make their stress go away, that they - in a sense - make themselves believe that it's true. If you think you're stressed now, just wait until someone has you sent to a therapist/psychiatrist. Stress is hard, and it sounds like you have way too much on your shoulders, especially for someone so young. You should be proud of yourself for all of it though. I understand that they're your family and you feel compelled to help them - but maybe you should take some time for yourself. If they want you to help them with something, tell them you have something else to do. If you want to hang out with someone - do it. You don't HAVE to support your family that much, or take care of your sister's baby (especially since it's not your child - it really is her responsibilty, and sorry to say, she's not making a very good parent by leaving it to her younger sister.) As far as lending money - just say no. If they're taking this money to go and do something fun, then it's not nessicary to give it to them, as they don't NEED it, merely want it. Help your family, but don't let them walk all over you. Learn to say no, and learn that you have your own needs that sometimes need to come first. Best of luck, I hope it all works out. Thanks for the help. I'll try but it is going to be hard. But i will post here if it does. thank you.
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Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 2:46 pm
thanx everyone for the help
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