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another fox guy


Shy Bachelor

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 8:01 pm


i have been working on a movie storyboard, but im having issues with it.. and im also like mental blocking hard.. so, i was looking for suggstions or any issues/conflicts you guys might have.
PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 8:02 pm


dialogue:hello everyone i am antonio vas-
(comment in backround: lets not use last names)
ok then, im just antonio.. if you hear this it means your still alive,i want you too know theres others alive too, this signal is fading but i think i can broadcast to you safely for a while.. i am a lead scientist who is in need of help, i am at the biotek inc. building in skyward,CA its very safe as far as i know.. and toby.. if you can hear me.. i miss you..

-cuts out-

{chat between antonio and chris after broadcast}
antonio-do you think they got the broadcast?

(tony is standing by a desk looking down)
chris- it doesnt matter tony, they'll die when they try to get here anyways.. it may be a sanctum in here but out there..

(sitting on a chair with a newspaper in his hands dated"june 19 2025")

tony inturupts- but out there its a living breathing hell, and i know its not safe but its a hope ok chris?!

-smashing his fist on the desk-

-a knock on the door-
chris: what the..
AMy: open up!
-chris proceeds to open the door-
amy:thepoket nukes that we've been working on are starting to destablize.. we need you quick
tony surprised k then...
-tony and chris proceed to the atom genorator-
(hallway) -soldiers 1,2,3, and 4 stand and solute-

soldier 1: so are you guys ready to go back to first floor? soldier 2: hell yea commander!
soldier 3: lets get moving..
soldier 4:wait a second..

-sirens go off and the soldiers all run-



{writing day 2}

(now downstairs screening soldiers 1-4 with a specific soldier [4] in the back of the crew)

soldier 1: prepare for a war men!
soldiers 2 & 3: yes sir!

-soldier 4 is acting impatient and preps his tycoonoidphian pistol-

{shooting in main front entrance}

soldier 2: hit the deck!!

-the soldiers all jump in different directions-

????: lets find some biotek-knowledgy and get out of here guys!

-more gunfire and a car engine-

soldier 4: finally some action!

-soldier 4 runs out and is shot multiple times by a j89gprzbot but ends up taking out 2 mauraiderets (the bandits who have more tech than a civillian) along with him leaving a robot and a car with more mauraideret soldiers as the last 3 soldiers all throw defnades
{grenades with a VERY amplified emp effect with a 200 ft. range} and run-


{scene 2} [area 853 on outskirts of skyward,CA]

-broadcast has just finished from biotek-

daniel:did you guys hear that?
cindy: of course we heard it.. dont ask ignorant questions..
mikey:hey, dont get rude.. no one wants to deal with your s**t toby.. we should go right now.. since we know were he is now..
toby: good.. finally.. i knew i would find him.. its because of that "strong devoloped bond".. that man on the radio.. he is the best man ever cindy..he was a man that was always on top. i dont know why but everything is safer when im by him.. that man is my father, i trust him with everything.. even my own life..
cindy: ok then.. as long as you tell "r2-d2" over there not to go guns blazing..
D_82-r:i may not be human but i still am able to precieve sound and tone, express emotions, and obay comands. i hope your components rust..
cindy:what'd you just say tin can?

-toby and daniel start laughing-

toby:wait a sec.. -toby looks to the left to see a small figure- is that fabi?

-fabi is running with a bag and a gun in his hands-

fabi: hey guys im back!!
toby:hey fabi! what'd you find?
fabi: just a s**tload of guns and salvaged obsolete biotek
-a silent whistle noise is made as fabi falls to the ground with sudden thud- toby:fabi?
-toby walks up to the still body of fabi and notices a small hole,some slight deterialization and a black bullet with partical dust-

toby: guys we have to leave.. now!
cindy:but tob-
toby:now!!

-another whistle noise and a clank-

D_82-r:enemy located

-the robot transforms and unleashes a devistating amount of bullets as half a building falls to ruins along with the other already destroyed half-

toby: fabi are you ok?
fabi: i need kintagel.. bad..
-the bullet in fabis chest suddenly starts to open a minature dematerialization orb and fabi's body is slowly and painfully dematerialized-

{writing day 3}

(fortified supermarket with military commander ryan duhn, 10 surviving soldiers, and a small crowd of unijured civillians who reluctantly delayed the inevitable)

ryan: everyone listen up! were headed to biotek inc. ASAP so for now everyone is a recruit!

(crowd starts shouting different things and the soldiers start handing out guns)

ryan- ok everyone these are pistols are refered to as "wolfs breath" there the latest materialized weopons. most civilians should alredy know how to use te V.I. targeting systems considering we use the same things in your everyday life. think of it like a video game.

(this is the line that triggers the crowd to nod in agreement and smile)

ryan:alright everyone we leave in three days which means you have three days to pack up and pik up any needed supplies.

corporal bradazi: ryan are you sure these civilians are good enough to weild any weopon at all with no experiance?
ryan: shut up bradazi.. i hate it when you think to much.. get back to work.
corporal bradazi: YES sir..
ryan: you takin' a tone with me boy?
corporal bradazi: NO sir..

-ryan backhands bradazi and walks away-

srgt. emerfeild: you ok?
bradazi:no..
emerfeild:whats wrong with that guy?
bradazi:he isnt always like this trust me..i think its the current issue at hand thats making him act like this.. especially since he shot his wife, and his daughter.. and i think his dad.. but i was only there for the first shot..my point being i can put up with this..

{writing day 4}

(all civillians now head to there tents and we focus on two suspisious civilians)

junior:so.. you cant wait to go out there either, huh?
Vasily: yea. its hard enough being a new american but now i have to deal with this bullshivick?

{vasily is russian you will hopefully learn more about him later in the series}

junior:yea.. in mexico.. when it first started over there we just considered it more people hyped up on coke.. but when more people started getting back up after dieing.. hell.. i got out of there faster than the outerleague did..

(vasily and junior both start laughing)

vasily: yea so, the guns that we wield in our hand now are actually russian design.. i should know, the army in russia was reciving them just before the incident.. thes guns pump out 200 inches of pure -48 degree celsius air. this baby can freeze anything within its iron sights..

(they both now look at the gun that is in america then look back at eachother with a suprised look on there faces)

{writing day 5}

vasily:something is funny around here.. i should know i was an actor in "thats not at all evil" show..

junior:well soviet.. i think we have something on our hands..

(vasily wipes his hands)

vasily: is it still there?

(a huge zap noise is heard all across the supermarket)

civillian 1: what was that?

civilian 2:where did that noise come from

(a soldier runs out of storage [the "base" for the army men] and gives a re-assurance to the civillians, then gets a head count of the civillians {17} to report back to ryan)

{scene 4 in storage}

ryan:alright.. 17.. small enough to fit in the gosalitin transporter.. give or take we lose about 2..

pvt. jerry: sir.-

(jerry activates the coppiars boitek holo-arm he weilds and shows the sky view of skyward from a descastelite {an object like a satelite but the size of a game consol})

-now see this red? its the undead..-

(the red spreads for miles all across the path to the biotek building)

-and this white is us..

(the white is a small dot)

ryan: what the..

(after several minutes of looking at portable holograms that have sketches of skyward uderground ryan devises a plan that can get them safely to the gosalitin station.)

{scene 5 back at biotek}

(after the defnades went off and all enemy's fled. we areleft with soldier 1 and 2)

soldier 1:s**t they got all of my men..

soldier 2: no they didnt sir!

soldier 1: how the f*** did you get out of the blast radius in time john?!

john: i didnt get out in time.. mr. valleta..

valleta: you didnt?

(the dust clears and johns bod is revealed to be shut down valleta reacts with a slight chuckle and grabs the dead side of john lifting him to walk away and lock the lobby floor)

{writing day 7}

(we return to the lab to find tony and amy in the mass genorator room attempting to stabelize the core of the genorator)

tony:what the ******** is wrong with this thing?
amy:i dont know?!
-tony suddenly opens the door and throws something from his pocket into the ball of infinite mass and it begins to stabelize-
tony:had to think about my lesson 1 of science.. a mass of .99 or less counter balances any type of mass size.. wierd yet true..
amy:what did you throw?
tony:a penny.
-amy and tony walk off to go talk about what went wrong and we begin to notice chris is doing something in the backround messing with what seems to be a box of some sort and we fade out-

{scene 6}
(we get back to the vasily and junior who seem to be concentrating on what has happened)
junior:... and thats how the skyward got the weapons?
vasily:i would say they had americanized the weapons my comrade..
-junior looks at the weapon puzzled by why the army would do such a thing-
(sergant ryan enters the room{this is a huge chunk missing but its for a good purpose, it will be explained later in the series)
ryan: vasily, stand in attention!
vasily: who ******** do you think you are telling me what to do?!
-ryan pulls out a gun, holding it up to juniors head-
ryan: i said stand in attention.. now!
-vasily immediatly jumps up standing in salute-
vasily: гребаный американцы ..(******** americans..)
ryan:держать рот на замке (keep your mouth shut)
vasily: you speak russian?!
ryan: yes.. now do as i say, you russian dog..
junior: let go of me!


another fox guy


Shy Bachelor

11,275 Points
  • Team Jacob 100
  • Full closet 200
  • Brandisher 100
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Writer's Block

 
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