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 Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2013 8:05 pm
Rocking back and forth on her heels, Kat awaited a certain death assistant in his office. While waiting, she had taken the liberty of snooping through his files and drawers once again. Coming across a few items of interest, she pulled them out, tempted to take a peak and see what secrets they might hold within.
When Mark would arrive, he would not only find that Kat was looking through his stuff again, but also wearing his goggles she had taken off him not long ago.
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Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2013 8:10 pm
Mark was having one of those days where he just couldn't wait to sit back on his computer and do internet things and just tune the world out from around him because he was pretty sure everyone but himself, of course, was clinically insane and then some. Maybe it was the part where he had gotten thrown out of the window again, or the part he had gotten stuck in another conversation with the Life ladies on Mac versus PC oh god, oh god why, oh god, no wait Mark stop, stop that, stop feeling sorry for yourself, clearly good things are waiting on the other side of your office for you-
- Like the spawn of the devil sifting though his vintage collection of comic books.
Mark opened his mouth. He closed it. He opened it again. And then closed it again. Finally, he counted to a very slow ten and sort of just tried very hard to yell and be angry and really mad and stuff. It came out as a squeak and a stutter. "Uh- please, kindly abort, your um, whatever you are doing, and kindly, if you can so please, please exit the aircraft - I mean my office, at your leisure, preferably now....ish..... yeah...." Lame look. If Kat ever owned a puppy, this was the sort of look achieved only when one had kicked their puppy several hundred times.
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Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2013 8:29 pm
At the sound of the door opening, Kat looked up just in time to see his mouth open an close, before a rather funny sounding squeak of his voice followed. Shaking a little, she struggled to hold in a laugh as he struggled with his words. Gawd, if there was one thing in her life that she loved, it was to see Mark act like this! It was priceless! Grin widening, she lifted the books she had in hand up and out of where they had been stashed, plopping them on top of his desk, before circling around to greet the death assistant.
"Aww, don't make that face, Mark. It kind of.. pitiful.." With a sigh, she patted the hunter on the shoulder, urging him into his office. "I just came to see how your head was doing. You know, after you were spying on me in your own office."
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Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2013 8:37 pm
"My head is fine," Mark said fastidiously to the floor a few feet in front of Kat, "And would be better if one, you know, one intruding in my personal space and stuff, would kindly uh, remove themselves from precious and sensitive information and material."
He frowned. "Of course, the argument could be made that it was kind of like your fault and everything for intruding on my personal space and stuff, not that I'm implying anything or anything..."
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Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2013 9:41 pm
"Really?" She asked, stepping closer. "Because you have a rather large bump, right there." She smiled, pointing to the goose egg from where he had hit his head against the glass. The one thing she regretted, was that she had not seen him smack his face against the window personally. It must have been a sight!
At the comment of 'sensitive information and material', Kat gave the hunter a perplexed look. Really? That was sensitive? It was a bunch of information on comic books! "Uh.. really..?" Well, at least she knew they were important to him, that was all that really mattered. You know, in case she needed them for her own little evil plots.
"Uh huh, well.. why would you be snooping outside of your own office? Did you forget you had a door or something? I mean, 'cause the window is kind of a bad idea, especially when you locked it from the inside, genius."
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Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 10:59 am
"That is a love tap!" Mark shrilled, covering his "love tap" with his excuse of a floppy hat. "And you would know about it because you sent me rays of pure evilness, and your evil intentions created a great darkness that polluted the air around you with evilness, great evilness and-"
He paused just a second from his angry monologue to digest what Kat was asking. "Yes, really, though devil spawn like you would never appreciate the work and effort, the work of collecting perfectly mint comic books that -" A pause again as the final question caught up -"This is my lair so I can do whatever I want and that includes meditating deeply outside my own office, absorbing the power of the Force to gain wisdom, like Force wisdom, and stuff. Important meditation stuff!" There was no way he was going to tell Kat it was because he was stalking her to prove that she was the spawn of the devil so he could send a small army of exorcists - or Sun Hunters, whatever came first really - to remove her. The Death assistant eyed her with a sort of angry scrutiny. Angry scrutiny. He crossed his arms to make a point.
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Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 1:41 pm
"A love tap? Really?" Her grin grew wider as she examined the bump from where she stood. "I wasn't aware that windows gave love taps." Snickering, she watched him with a bemused look on her face, waiting for him to finish his rant on how evil she was. This never got old. In fact, it usually got better and better the more she heard it.
"Hmmmm..?" How was it, that Mark could keep all his comic books in mint condition, but not anything else? Especially himself? Giving him a quick look over, it was obvious that his clothes were in need of a wash.. three months ago, his hair needed a brushing, badly.. and those shoes..
Snorting, her grin reappeared as she listened to him explain himself, or at least try to. "Hah! If that was true, wouldn't you have picked a safer location then outside your window? I mean, I'm just saying.. you're likely to fall--oh wait, you did! Now what were you up to, Mark?" Meditating outside his window.. pfffft. He was up to something, and she was going to find out what.
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Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2013 10:12 am
Oh, she was threatening him, was she? Well, Mark would have none of that. He totally had this: Kat might be the spawn of the devil, but Mark was a Jedi master and he would not be bested so easily!
"Stay back!" He grabbed the thing closest to him, a half-empty beer bottle. "This bottle contains a like, um, a holy ointment, blessed by Father... Lucas... The holy father of our church who uh...." Mark scrambled for words, "Made this holy ointment inside so powerful, it would burn the likes of your kind with a single drop. A single drop!!"
The Death assistant continued scuttling back at Kat's rather predatory glance. "I-I-I'm armed and I know how to use this and I'll never reveal my secrets about exorcising you with an army of exorcists! Never!!!"
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Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2013 3:58 pm
With the bottle grabbed, and his warning, Kat's grin stretched from ear to ear while her ability to hold her laughter was failing. "Really?" An empty beer bottle was going to burn her? If that was the case, than all the beer Lex had given her for Christmas might as well be dumped down the drain as soon as she got back.
At his plan, Kat raised a brow. He was planning to do what now? Pursing her lips, she approached him, despite his warnings, slapping the bottle out of his hands.
"Well, you pretty much just spat out the basic plot right there, so how 'bout you finish telling me the rest of it?"
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 5:43 pm
.... Well darn, he hadn't even had time to think of plan B. Think of a plan, think of a plan...
"Well, okay," Mark bullshitted, as fast as he could, "It uh, goes like this, it is because you are so.... awesome... but not as awesome as me and we couldn't have someone so.... awesome... so I decided that in attempts to purify the... awesomeness... from you I would go and hire an army of extortionists - I mean exorcists - to uh... do exorcisty things like... -" He suddenly found something that he was suddenly grateful he only had like, ninety-nine more of in his room - "AHA!"
Mark grabbed yet another half-drained beer bottle in one hand and splashed all the six month old contents onto Kat. "TAKE THAT EVIL b***h! BURN IN HELL! BURRRRRRN!!!!"
Revenge was his!
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 6:18 pm
Squinting, she watched and listened to the death hunter's 'story' behind everything. Really? Did he honestly expect her to believe such a bullshit story? She knew what he really thought of her, that she was evil, and the bane of his existence--aside from Caelius, so why try and cover it with such a lame a** excuse as this?
"TAKE THAT EVIL b***h! BURN IN HELL! BURRRRRRN!!!!"
With the beer thrown on her, Kat closed her eyes and pursed her lips, hands clenching at her side. That was what she expected from Mark. But he was still going to die.
Opening her eyes again, she wiped the beer from her face, sucking in a deep breath as she stared at the assistant. "Well.. now that you've had your fun-"
Without further warning, Kat leaped forwards, tackling Mark to the ground. "-YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THAT YOU LITTLE s**t!!!"
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Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 1:39 pm
OH s**t. EVASIVE ACTION!
Mark agilely leapt to one side just as Kat attempted to tackle him, using his smooth Death ninja moves to smack her across the back and send her flying! "Haha! Take that evil b***h for your Sith Lord evil powers are no match for a Jedi Master such as I!"
Then, with a loud shout, he summoned his dual lightsabers and cleaved Kat in half, watching as her smoking ruins screamed a thousand voices of agony and dissolved.
Or at least that's what he hoped in those mere moments before Kat shoved Mark to the ground, the Death assistant sending several more beer bottles toppling. Reality finally caught up to Mark as things went flying everywhere.
"Noooooo!!"
Crash.
"NOT THE COMPUTER BACKU-"
BOOM.
"HULK JUNIOR! HOW COULD YOU-"
BAM.
A horrible mess of wanton destruction did very little to describe the current situation.
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Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 2:01 pm
Gawddammit! Why was he always so infuriating!? And then that stunt with the beer bottle--he was dead! So very dead! Kat was in the process of trying to get the man into a headlock while pulling at his hair with her free hand.
Not caring in they crashed into any of the computers, she let out a hiss, thinking on maybe grabbing one of the beer bottles and drowning him with its contents.
"YOUR TOY IS FINE! BUT WHEN I GET BACK.."
She was going to cut Hulk Junior up and mount him somewhere as a warning to this death hunter! The little s**t!
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Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 12:38 am
"OWOWOWOOW" Mark began to flail, and then gurgle simultaneously. "TRUCE. I CALL TRUCE. I give up! I'll give you anything you want, anything, I'M SORRY!" If the flailing wasn't bad enough, perhaps the piteous wailing would be enough to deter Kat. Perhaps.
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Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 1:16 am
Kat grinned nearly from ear to ear, as she kept the assistant in a headlock, cackling almost. "No, its decided. The only thing that will satisfy me now is your soul!"
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