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 Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2012 7:48 pm
 Isi Anowa stared at her reflection in the smooth ice of frozen lake water. It stared back up at her blankly, a vacant and unyielding expression on its face. It was no use trying to remember. It was no use trying to feel. She might as well lay here and freeze like the water she stared at. She was nothing. But something tugging in the back of her mind told her that she had been something. She was once someone. She had a life out there somewhere. One cannot just drop into existence as a fully grown adult with no memories or previous life.
But why was no one here for her now? Was she the only one searching for herself? She decided right there at the edge of the water in a fit of anger that anyone who had previously known her did not deserve to know her now. Not now that they had abandoned her and left her with the frustration of not knowing herself or anyone else. The hopelessness of it all filled her heart, and the sight of her reflection upon the water blurred as her eyes welled up with hot, frustrated tears.
Isi knew she still needed to find them, whoever they were. Even if they had abandoned her. She needed to find her family, or friends, or whoever she had known her to find herself. She desperately wanted to know who she was. To have at least one memory of her old life, that would be the most relieving thing. The feeling of having nothing and no one was almost too much to bear for her right now. She continued to sob, not wanting to move, not wanting to embark on the tedious and challenging journey that she knew she would have to go on to find out more about her life. Why couldn't she just remember right now?
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Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2013 9:25 am
 Things had changed drastically in Prisms life as of late. No longer was he the laid back stallion only wanting to find a place to lay down an laze away the days. No, now he wandered almost constantly in a somewhat vain search for the one he had lost. It had been the wake up call he had needed and yet the way it happened and the result of him loosing his basket was not what he would have wanted. Sur ehe had been extremely apprehensive about being a father and wasn't sure he could raise a foal but now that he had been separated from the basket it was hard. His heart ached, as did his muscles as they were still unused to being in constant motion, yet even that would not deter him from his quest. Even so he was fairly lost as to where to start, or at least where to go from this point.
He walked slowly, not entirely paying attention to where he was going as his mind continued to think on what he could have done differently that day or what he needed to be doing now instead of simply wandering around hoping to stumble upon a clue. His head lifted for a moment, to take in his surroundings and that was when he noticed a pale blue Cerynei mare standing at the edge of a frozen lake. It was only then that he truly registered the change of seasons. Was it really winter already? It had been fall when he had lost his basket and now there was a ripple of dread that passed over him. How could his foal survive on it's own in the winter, for surely it had been long enough since he last saw the basket that the foal had emerged. In fact he knew the foal was out of the basket, for when he had returned to the site several days afte rhehad been driven off he saw what remained of it. The fact that there had been no blood told him that somehow his offspring had survived.
Watching the mare silently Prism slowly took her in until he realized that she was crying. This world was full of heartache it would seem. Slowly he approached, his cloven hooves crunching the snow beneath them. As he came closer he wasn't sure what to say, for he knew very little about mares and the number of reasons for why she was crying were likely plentiful. So instead of speaking he simply came o a stop beside her and offered his silent support and waited to see if she would speak to him for much as he wanted to try to help he didn't want to interrupt her moment of grief or
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Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2013 11:51 am
She had felt his presence before he had come up next to her, but she hadn't the will to run. She stood as still as the ice below her, feeling as if she was frozen to the spot. Briefly and at a side glance, she looked at him through the tears. She gave a little sniff and returned her eyes to the ice, trying to gain control of herself.
"Do you...know me?" she asked after some time through a slight sob. She doubted he knew her, or he would have come running to the rescue. But his presence was comforting in the least. She pretended for just a moment that he knew her, and that she knew him. Pretended for just one second that he was her long lost friend who had come to take her home...wherever home was.
She closed her eyes and imagined what home would be like. He would lead her back through the forest and across a little river to a quaint clearing at the base of a mountain and there would be her family smiling back at her and calling her name. But no, none of that seemed familiar. None of it was right. She couldn't picture any faces, couldn't see any notable landmarks. And then the happy moment of pretending faded. Her would-be life dissipated into thin air in her imagination, fading away into nothing. She turned to him fully now, clearing the tears in her eyes enough to see his features.
He was taller than she, but had the same kind of ears, tail, and hooves. That was another small level of comfort. She digested the ribbons of color throughout his pelt against the white, noted the flow of his mane, the arch of his antlers. She reached his eyes last. When she did, she felt a pang in her heart at the amount of grief contained in those green irises. She looked from eye to eye, feeling his pain at each glance, but was unable to put a pin in what the pain was. It was surely not empathy for her situation. No. This was something else. She was too polite to ask what was wrong, too shy and embarrassed by her crying to impose upon his life. She remained silent and looked away from him, ashamed that she had seen such an intimate part of him on accident.
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Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2013 1:17 pm
That moment that she looked up at him, as fleeting as it had been, Prism saw the pain in her eyes, much like was in his own. He had known she was upset as he had approached, her body had been shaking with tears and he had heard them in a distance. He wondered at what was causing her such pain and then she spoke, her words broken by a sob but he thought perhaps that he understood. She too must have lost someone close to her...no, he felt it was something deeper than that. Even so he felt like they had something in common, kindred spirits in a way sharing a pain that neither one had explained and yet felt equally the same. His eyes roamed over her once more and though her pelt was certainly unique looking he was sure that this was the first time he had ever seen her. The corners of his mouth dropped for a moment before shaking his head. "No, I'm afraid I don't know you. This is the first time I've ever seen you."
He wished both of them were on happier terms for this initial meeting but it was clear that both of them were suffering from a pain that neither one had voiced yet. He didn't want to invade her privacy but he had to admit he was curious as to why she was crying and why she was so sad. They were both hurting and though Prism wasn't much for social interactions, though he was trying more now that everything in his life had changed he struggled to find the words to say that would help. How did one broken soul help another? He honestly couldn't find anything to say to help alleviate her pain or his own.
A sigh escaped him, a mix of frustration, sadness and exhaustion. But then there was a glimmer of hope, though they were both broken perhaps, that they could somehow help each other, even a little bit would go a long way in renewing their happiness once more. "My name is Prism." He finally said to her after a long pause. "It appears we both have an ache in our hearts that is in need of mending."
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Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2013 1:42 pm
Of course he didn't know her. She nodded brusquely in acceptance, giving one final sniff and ending her tears in frustration. She would just have to keep searching. There was no way her memories were just going to drop out of the sky and land in front of her, no matter how much she cried. No matter how hopeless the task was, it had to be done. She decided that no matter how painful it was, she needed to begin her search for herself. She looked at him again at the mention of a name, smiling half-heartedly but smiling nonetheless.
"Hello, Prism. My name is Isi Anowa...you can call me Isi. It's easier to...remember," she shrugged the pain of the word 'remember' away and blinked at him with new interest. She was not alone. There was another in this world who felt pain, obviously very similar to her own. It was a terrible thing for pain to bring two beings together, but she took comfort in their bond despite the sadness it held. Now she knew someone. A new someone, but someone.
"Yes, an ache that needs mending...mine is an ache of the mind..." she mumbled under her breath, not necessarily directing it towards him. In no way did she want to measure her pain against his. By the look in his eyes, she was almost sure his ache was worse than hers. Perhaps she could help him. She wasn't sure she had the energy to help another while trying to help herself. But if he asked, she would not be able to turn away. She would not be able to carry the image of those green eyes scorched into her memory forever. That was not the memory she was looking for. Yes, she would help him if he asked. Perhaps even if he didn't. She only knew that she did not want to lose her first new memory. Now that he had introduced himself and now that he was the only stable thing in her brain she did not want to lose him.
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Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 7:33 am
Prism nodded his head in greeting. "Isi Anowa." It was an interesting sounding name. "Even considering the circumstances of our meeting and how we are both suffering, it is nice to meet you." And it was, in an odd way, good to meet another, especially another who also had an ache that needed mending. Prism had not quite been avoiding others since the day his world fell apart, but he certainly wasn't actively looking to socialize either. Hi time had been spend searching for clues and while he had so far come up with nothing to point him in the direction he was still determined to see it through, to find what he had lost.
An ache of the mind. And with that Prism believed he understood the mare's problem, she had forgotten something, or several somethings. He wasn't entirely sure the extent of her memory loss. There was a bit of a pause before Prism spoke. "Mine...is of the heart." Though he hadn't wanted to be a father in the short time he had had the basket he had grown to love it and after the Kalona had swept in on him, when he laid broken at the bottom of a ravine for several days, when he finally woke his love had grown even stronger and it was what had fueled his change, fueled his healing and forced him to start searching earlier than the healers would have liked him to. Now he was standing beside one who, like him ached yet in a different way. Could it be possible that two individuals who ached could find comfort and perhaps also find a resolution to their problems together? Could that be what had sent him in this direction instead of any other? Was fate trying to tell him something or was this just sheer coincidence?
"Would you like some company for a while?" He asked her. Of course he would understand if she wished to be alone, some might want to do just that if in the same situation. But he hoped that she would accept the offer of friendship. "I don't know much about aches of the mind...but perhaps having someone around can help to soothe it." And perhaps in doing so he could soothe some of his own ache, but eventually he would need to return to his search. He could not give up, not yet anyways.
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Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 3:02 pm
She looked over at him again, dipping her head in a graceful sort of bow and then returning her gaze ahead of them at the water once more. "It is nice to meet you as well," she said. It was nice to meet him. She hadn't met many on her journey so far, and those she had met were not so willing to offer comfort or friendship.
She looked up at him, wanting to cry all over again. But this time for his sake instead of her own. "You have lost someone important," she inquired humbly, glancing at his eyes once more. She knew that must be his ache. She wondered which was better, an ache of the mind or heart? She could not remember losing anyone, but he still carried the memory of the worst day of his life. He still felt the weight of that burden in his heart. It made her wonder if she really wanted her memories back. So much pain in the world, so much loss. Was it a gift that she had forgotten it all, instead of a curse?
But there was also happiness, light, and love. She had none of that. Did love overcome the ache of painful memories? Memories of happiness gave others hope in a dark world, she knew that had to be. That is why she needed her memories. There was a happy life there that would give her hope, she was sure of it. Just as Prism gave her hope now, she was sure there was hope wherever her memories waited for her.
"I would love some company. I don't think I can stand to be alone much longer," she said smiling for the first time. There was not much true happiness behind the smile, only comfortable friendliness. But it was still a smile and that was enough to brighten her mood slightly. It was comforting to have him around. He seemed to understand her dilemma. But she wanted suddenly to get away from the icy lake they stood by. It was only a frozen pool of sorrows to her and she feared that if she cried next to it any more she would freeze along with the lake water. She indicated towards the forest to the left of them and began to move in that direction.
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 5:58 pm
Was his affliction so obvious? Well, he had just said that he was suffering from an ache of the heart, so he had given her a clue as to what saddened him so. Even so it had taken him aback for a moment to hear those words, to hear someone else speak of the loss he had been suffering from, was still suffering from. Slowly he pulled himself out of his shock and nodded. "Yes, someone very important to me, though I never really got to know them." It sounded odd, he knew that, but i was true. How did one know a basket? Yet the life that had been contained inside the wicker had been and was still very important to him. It was the only reason that had pushed him to run from the Kalona, the reason he had survived the fall - or so he liked to think, and the reason why he would not stop searching until he found the one that had been hidden inside of it. It would be hard, if not impossible but Prism was determined to see his offspring.
"And you..." He began wondering if his guess would be right. "you have forgotten something? Or perhaps several somethings." If that was true, he couldn't imagine being in her hooves. It was tormenting enough to know what he was missing in his life, but to not know anything, well that was a new torture upon itself.
"Then I shall keep you company. I have been alone for some time now as well...it's nice to talk to another, to see a new face." And it was. For all the torments he felt day and night not knowing where his foal was, if it was a boy or girl, if they were safe or being taken care of, it was good to step away for a bit. This should help him clear his mind of some of the negative thoughts that had been forming as the weeks of searching had come up with nothing. Turning away from the frozen water he began to walk with her towards the forest. He remained silent for a while as they walked, he wasn't really used to being around others, well he had stayed with Dendro for several months but the Nixie stallion had an attitude about him and while it had been somewhat entertaining for Prism it wasn't the type of behavior that went over well with others. He wanted to talk, to say something, but be damned if he could figure out what he should say. "I'm...not very good with things like this." He finally admitted and then realizing his statement had been fairly vague he added on. "Being around others I mean, too used to living on my own. So...if I'm quiet for too long feel free to poke me. I don't want to offend you by not talking." Granted he hadn't always been alone, there was his wolf familiar Spectrum about, but the wolf was less than inclined to wander around the lands looking for a lost basket/foal, so Prism had left his friend behind for the time being.
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 6:46 pm
Never got to know them? How could someone be so important to him if he barely knew them? After some thought she came to the conclusion that it was similar to her situation. She barely knew herself. She had no idea if she had been independent and strong, or cowardly and shy. For all she knew, she could have been a horrible bloodthirsty mare on the hunt for live meat. She shivered at that thought. It hurt deeply that she had lost herself more than anything else. What had she been like? Who had she been? What could she have been now if she still remembered? It was all a mystery to her, just questions on top of more questions.
"Several somethings..." she practically whispered, on the verge of tears once again. She felt so weak, so pathetic. "I don't remember anything about myself," she said to him, glancing over in his direction as she walked. She tried hard again to remember something besides her name. Nothing came to her mind besides some fuzzy bits. She remembered warmth and holly being placed in her hair, and then blood on the snow. Both were two separate, but very foggy pieces of her memory.
"I wouldn't know if I'm good at things like this or not...I wonder if I would know what to say at this moment if I could remember who I was," she said thoughtfully, "but I don't, so I will not be offended if there are long silences between us." He was right, it was nice to see a new face. She didn't care if they spoke, didn't care if they argued and screamed at the world together or if they spewed random sounds at each other, she was just glad that she was no longer alone.
"Who did you lose, Prism?" she finally asked, succumbing to her curiosity bashfully. She hoped that if they talked about their issues then perhaps they both might feel a little better.
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Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 5:54 pm
When she spoke her voice was so quiet he had barely heard her words and he wasn't even one hundred percent sure he had heard them right. But it had sounded like she said several somethings. and then she went on to explain that other than her name she could remember nothign abotu herself. Now he understood why she had been crying when he had came upon her. Had he been in a similar situation...well he couldn't even imagine how he would handle that. The loss that he had suffered suddenly felt insignificant compared to her total lose of memories. But in reality it wasn't, they had in their own ways lost the most important thing to them, he lost his basket and she had lost her memories.
"I'm sorry." He said, not knowing why he apologized and knowing that doing so would not cause her memories to suddenly return. He wasn't even sure how one would go about getting memories back. They were not something that one could simply find laying about a meadow or forest. He listened as she explained how she didn't know if she was good at being social or not and nodded his head. "Perhaps you have been given a rare opportunity to make a new you, something that few individuals get to the chance to do."
Her question caught him off guard and there was a long silence before he even attempted to answer it. This was still raw subject for him to talk about, yet he felt it would be okay to share it with her, as she had shared her story with him. Plus if he never spoke about it to others then the chance of him finding his foal would be reduced drastically. His steps slowed a bit, it was too hard to walk at a normal pace, talk and deal with the anguish he felt every time he spoke directly about his loss. Once he was certain he had control of his emotions and voice he spoke. "A foal...one still tucked into the safety of it's basket." He admitted before continuing. Much as he hated talking about it he wondering if doing just that might help to ease the pain a bit. "I wasn't ready to be a father, but it happened. I took the basket to help the mother out, she was left with two to raise on her own. I was trying to change, to be the Soquili that my foal would need but..." He paused a clear strain in his voice, he didn't want to cry but if it happened he would let the tears flow. "I was chased off. Pair of Kalona ran through where I was living, I ran to draw them away, but I ended up being chased into a ravine. I don't remember everything that happened, but I do remember not giving the satisfaction of killing me, at least that's what I planned when I jumped from the top of the ravine. But I survived and after a healer took care of me I went in search of my basket. The foal had already come out by the time I found it, but I keep pieces of the basket with me so I know what he or she may look like." The pieces were safely tucked away in his thick mane so that he would not loose them. "Somewhere out there is my son or daughter and I will do anything to find my child."
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Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 9:10 pm
"Perhaps..." she said quietly, pondering that piece of advice. She didn't know how to begin making a new self. She didn't know who she could become or who she wanted to be. More than anything she just wanted her personality, potential, aspirations, fears, dreams, everything to be rolled into a nice little bundle and to be delivered to her with no worry or difficulty. But she knew things weren't that easy. She had a clean slate awaiting her, but she wasn't sure if she wanted it. Starting anew was so...scary. It was comforting knowing that she had a life out there to fall back on, even if she couldn't remember it. But giving all of that up and starting again was something she wasn't sure if she was brave enough to do.
She listened closely to his story and could hear the hurt in his voice. Kalonas. Had she had any experiences with them? Did she know of their evil? She thought hard, a fuzzy memory of blood contrasting on white snow surfacing somewhere in the murk of her brain matter. She vaguely remembered screaming the word "Run" over and over again. She shook her head and continued listening to the tragedy of his story. She was shocked that he had jumped from the top of the ravine, highly doubting that even her past self would have had the courage to do such a thing. She certainly didn't have that kind of guts now.
"You are very brave," she said, looking over at him, "I have faith that you'll find your son or daughter soon. You are a very dedicated father." She wished she was that brave. She wished there was someone out there who was like Prism, searching high and low for her and doing anything to find her. A tear streaked down her cheek as she realized this was probably not the case. Either they didn't care, or that blood on the snow meant that they were gone. Both were painful ideas to think about, and she temporarily shoved the thoughts to the back of her mind where they could be little voices of slight reminder instead of obvious torture.
"If it is not too painful for you...perhaps I could look at the pieces of the basket? That way, if I ever see a foal that matches its colors I can bring him or her back to you?" she asked, offering what little help she could beyond moral support.
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Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 11:30 am
Hearing her call him brave, well Prism couldn't help but chuckle slightly. "Some would call me crazy. But I suppose brave works too. Maybe I'm both. All I know is..." He paused for a moment searching for the right words. He still wasn't much for talking given his background but he was making an effort, he had to, everything rested on him being active and talkative to find his foal. "that I felt at that moment it was the right thing...no the only thing to do. I guess it was fatherly instinct kicking in. I just wanted those Kalona to get as far away from the basket as possible and when I saw the ravine in front of me...I was willing to sacrifice myself if it meant my child would be safe." He let a smile cross his lips. "I know I will find my child eventually, I have nothing else to do with my time and I want to see them safe and happy." He told her honestly, something he had never imagined he would say when he first found out that he had fathered three baskets.
Her next words made him stop. The smile that was on his lips grew wider. "Of course I'll show you. It can only help me find clues if I show others the pieces." It was painful to do so but he would never say so, for if he kept the pieces of the basket constantly hidden from others who then he might never find his son or daughter. Carefully he turned his head, burying his nose deep into his mane. It took him a moment to free the pieces from his long hair and not break them anymore than they already were. He set the several pieces down on the ground and used his nose to spread them out a bit. One was entirely white, another was white with a hint of yellow and purple near the edge, the third piece was white with pale yellow markings and the last was light purple in color. "This is all I managed to scavenge when I finally made it back to where the basket had been hidden." It wasn't much to go by, but it was a start and he hoped it would be enough for someone one day to tell him where his son or daughter was.
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Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 11:12 pm
She looked him up and down with a critical glance. "Well you don't look crazy to me," she said and smiled at him. She couldn't call him crazy. She didn't know his situation or the reasoning behind his actions. She couldn't recall being in a situation like that, so who was she to judge him? Besides, he wasn't continually jumping off of cliffs, so he couldn't be crazy.
Isi observed as he dug the pieces out of his mane, standing on the tips of her hooves to get a better look. She peered at the pieces of his basket laid out on the ground, carefully taking note of each color and characteristic. She began to wonder if she had seen the foal before, but then she remembered that she had no memory. Even if she had met the foal in the past, she wouldn't remember it now. Anything she might have known about Prism and his foal was lost deep in the foggy depths of her mind. However, she doubted that she had been associated with him. He or the basket pieces would have caused some kind of flashback perhaps. She smiled sadly, knowing she wasn't much help to him. "I'll keep an eye out," she said.
She stared at the basket pieces a little longer, hoping to engrave them into her mind. She would not forget any more. She refused. Although she didn't have much power over such things, she was determined not to lose her new memories when gaining her old ones. She clamped her eyes closed, quizzing herself on the colors of the pieces to test if she still remembered them. When she was reassured that she could in fact remember, she looked away from them finally. "Do you think I might be crazy?" she asked. After all, she wasn't sure who she was or what she was like. Maybe she had been crazy before. She was sure that if she didn't find herself she would become crazy in time.
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Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 11:01 am
Prism waited quietly as Isi took a good long look at the pieces of basket he had laid out. A small part of him wished that when she was done that she would announce that she had seen a foal with these colors on it and that they weren't too far away. But he knew the reality of the situation. She couldn't remember who she was so the chances of her remembering his foal if she had seen him or her were slim. Still, it felt good to show another these bits of his life and it helped to lift some of the ache he felt in his chest and the weight off of his shoulders. This was just one more step to finding his offspring, if he had to show these small pieces of wicker to one hundred Soquili then he would. "I appreciate it." He said to her words with a slight nod of her head.
Once she was done looking at the pieces he carefully gathered them up and tucked them back into his mane before returning his attention to her. He didn't want a sudden gust of wind to come by and blow away the only thing he had to tell him what his son or daughter looked like. Her question caught him completely off guard and he stood there for a few moments not sure how to answer that. He didn't think she was crazy, not one bit, but to blurt that out suddenly may make her think that she was and that he just didn't want to admit it to her face.
He looked her over for a moment, trying to find his voice again. Finally he ended up giving his head a shake. "No, I don't think you might be crazy. If you were you likely would have yelled nonsense at me when I first approached or done something unsettling. But you have been kind, thoughtful and gentle in regards not only to my situation but your own. Just because you don't remember who you are or what you were like doesn't make you crazy. Neither does feeling sad about those things." He paused for a moments glancing at her with his head tipped to the side slightly and a small smile crept upon his lips. "Now if you start talking to rocks I may need to change my opinion of whether you are crazy or not."
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Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 10:23 am
She laughed. It was such a foreign sound to her that she gave a little gasp after the giggle. After overcoming the shock of laughter, she laughed a little more. It felt nice. It was so relieving. But soon the laughs subsided as there was nothing more to laugh about. She tried to go over his words in her mind to make herself laugh again, but the blissful chuckles would not return. Her face became serious again, but she looked at him with a smile still in her eyes. "Thank you, Prism," she said genuinely. She felt reassured that she was not crazy, but felt a little embarrassed for thinking she was.
"I suppose we should keep moving?" she asked, feeling a chill around her legs and hooves. It wasn't like she had anywhere to be or anything important to get to at a certain time, but she really didn't approve of the idea of standing around while her memories waited for her. She stepped forward slightly and paused, hoping he was willing to move. He didn't have to come with her. It was certainly not a requirement. They had already agreed to help each other, but he was certainly not bound to that. She worried he would change his mind at any moment. He was entitled to change his mind, after all.
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