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 Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2012 5:40 pm
Announcements ● 14/01/13: Main positions filled! Interested in joining? See: Additional Information ● 11/01/13: Edited - Introduction Post + Additional Information ● 30/12/12: Moved and open! ● 26/12/12: U/C; nothing to see here folks. Introduction Post Igvbneir the Giant, Foe of Darkness, wielder of Ra'gzig-nulle, Caster of the Third Accord, High Mage of the Tower of Good was dead. There was no doubt of his deadness for Igvbneir the Giant (et cetera, et cetera) had lost his head. Well, not lost. It had bounced a fair distance away but if he squinted Nim could see the golden mane, now more brown from the dirt and dried blood. It had not been a clean cut, unfortunately. The Dark Lord seemed to take great enjoyment in sawing Igvbneir the Giant's (et cetera, et cetera) head off then proceeding to kick it like a ball across the battlefield. The Lord's head minion had cheered when it rolled to a stop, declaring it "a very fine kick m'lord!" The rest had just started fighting over who got the body. Some to keep it as a trophy though it looked as though the harpies wanted to eat it. Feeling ill, Nim turned to the completed spell circle and stepped inside. It would protect him, for now. Already the Dark Lord had turned his attention to the Chaos mage and his Oracle. Halcyon was already kneeling inside the circle having foreseen this eventuality. Not by her gift, of course. As long as she was in the presence of a mage of Chaos (Namely, Nim) her gift and its accompanying migraines would not be allowed to her. No, it was foreseeable because nothing ever went right for Nim or anyone around him. They always seemed to make it out of tight spots somehow but never for the better. In fact, they had been running from a horde of angry pixies when they had happened upon the mage Igvbneir who killed the pixies then promptly shanghaied them for this mad quest to save the world or whatever. Now she was tired, hungry, and bored. All of these things would be solved soon since they would either be messily killed by the Dark Lord and his minions or something unpredictable would happen. Igvbneir the Giant (et cetera, et cetera) dying didn't really count, you see. He was a bit of an a** and while anti-hero's were in this year, no one likes a douche bag. Not even one on the side of justice, light, and the good of blah blah blah. That was when the unthinkable happened. Nim began actively casting a spell. It was in some weird dead language that was more croaking and groaning than actual words and at one point it sounded like he was coughing up a hairball. Even so Halcyon could tell it rhymed. She liked a good couplet as much as any Oracle but this was getting ridiculous. Admittedly, Chaos magic was, as a general rule, ridiculous both in its execution and its realization. The spell circle began glow. Seeing as it was drawn by that dead guy that was mentioned earlier with the bad personality and the long name who practiced Good magic, it was a wonder it reacted at all. He had been trying to summon back-up heroes to help with the maiming and or killing of the Dark Lord but the spell had refused to work. Apparently the Tower of Good was also the Tower of Incompetentcy. Nim's magic began spiking all around them, filling the air with a sense of dread even as the dead guys magic raised a protective barrier around them. The Dark Lord cried out as the light grew, casting some black ball of energy at the circle. Evil magic fused with Good magic, Chaos flickering all around and with a BANG cracked the earth around them. Well, around where they had been. They were in a field, now. Smoke rose in the distance from a small village a short walk away. Cheap equipment was scattered in the immediate area along with some basic supplies and five strangers. They were the strangest looking strangers Halcyon had ever seen. Picking up a loaf of bread, she dusted it off and took a bite, chewing thoughtfully as she scanned the area. Well, Halcyon was still tired but she definitely wasn't bored anymore.
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Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2012 5:40 pm
Rules ● Keep OOC chatter out of the main thread. ● Talk to each other! ● Have a sense of humor. ● Be sociable. OoC Thread● No, seriously, have conversations with other players. ● Read all of the posts thoroughly or risk being savaged by bears. Profile Skeleton ● [b]Name[/b]: First, middle, last, nicknames, etc.
● [b]Age[/b]: Kinda hoping for an octogenarian.
● [b]Gender[/b]:
● [b]Orientation[/b]:
● [b]Appearance[/b]: Make it a link or a written description.
● [b]Personality[/b]: What are they like, first impressions.
● [b]Likes[/b]:
● [b]Dislikes[/b]:
● [b]Fears[/b]:
● [b]Bio[/b]: A sentence or two is fine. Pages would be funny.
● [b]Other Info[/b]:
● [b]Class[/b]: Read Additional Information ● Feel free to customize your profiles to fit your character just keep the information in the same order.
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Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2012 5:41 pm
Additional Information ● I am running this as "comic fantasy" in genre. We're here to make fun of cliches and bring out the bizarre. Yes, I love Terry Pratchett. No, John Cleese didn't put me up to this. Do you see a man in a dress? No, Nim doesn't count. That's a sorceror's robe. Honestly. ● You have been transported to this field in the middle of who-knows-where by magic. You are free to react as anyone might when they find themselves somewhere they definitely weren't just a moment ago. ● That equipment laying about the field is your starter equipment because we're all kinds of subtle here. ● Magic in the world of Deus Ex Machina comes in three flavors - Good, Evil, and Chaotic. The first two are driven by intent. You can't use Good to kill villagers and you can't use Evil to make flowers grow. Chaos magic is unpredictable and is just as likely to make flowers grow as it is to make flowers grow into man-eating plants. It happens. ● Class options are as follows: Fighter, Mage, Cleric, Rogue, Other. ● Five strangers, five classes. There will only be one each so choose carefully. ----> Fighter: Open // Reserved :: Pick a weapon, point at the enemy. { Urban Thorne} ----> Mage: Open // Reserved :: You with the fireballs. { mc2} ----> Cleric: Open // Reserved :: Healer with some weapons skills. [On Hold] ----> Rogue:Open // Reserved :: Poisons, light fingers, some spell skills. { Hoshiko104} ----> Other: Open // Reserved :: When your character just defies description. { Cheshiyre} ● Additional Characters: Want to play the Dark Lord, Minions, Other? PM me. 3nodding ● I am looking for a co-mod for this thread. Interested? That's right! PM me. heart
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Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2012 5:41 pm
Accepted Profiles Thaedrian & Nim Say, we need to fill out this form before we can start. No. Look, it's easy. I don't want to. Don't be such a drama queen! I am not a... that isn't even applicable... fine. Awesome!● What's your name? Most people call me Nim. That short for something? Yes, it's short for 'none of your business'. Testy.● How old are you anyway? I am old enough not to answer that question. Aw, come on! Older than ten, younger than fifty. Okay, we'll say 'late twenties'. Hmph. ● Gender? Oh, honestly! I'm clearly male. Just checking for traps. ... ● Orientation? Now you're just being rude. Okay, okay. So what kind of person would you want to hit on you? ...someone wealthy and not terribly ugly. Well, you're honest, I guess... I was being sarcastic! Sure, of course. Sarcasm.● Appearance? A young John Denvers. Seriously? Bah, fine. I think this spell should create a decent simulacrum. Or a cascade of toads. Perhaps both. I'll be sure to grab my umbrella...● Personality? Grouchy. That's spot on. Also irritable, irritating, irrational, irresponsible, and indelible. That statement is both false and nonsensical. I ran out of i's. Clearly. You forgot incandescent, icarian... icandy. Hardly! And you spelled it wrong! Language is a fluid, living thing. Kind of like your self perception, huh?● So what are your favorite things? Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens. Brown paper packages tied up with string. These are a few of my favorite things. Um, Nim? Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels Nim? Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles You don't even know what schnitzel is! Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings, these are a few of my favorite things! I regret ever lending you my i-pod. Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes Knew you were straight... Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes You hate snow. Silver white winters that melt into spring, Julia Andrews deserves a gold ring! That doesn't even make sense. Well, she does. Wonderful voice! *Sigh*● Dare I ask what you don't like? When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad. Good grief. Also, visits to the dentist. You have dentists? Oh yes. Cavities kill, you know. So, what, you don't like fluoride? We don't have that. Or toothbrushes. No, there's only one cure and its name is 'pliers'. ...moving on!● Fears? A plague of penguins. A platoon of platypi? A barrage of bears! A cacophony of cats A word that rhymes with orange! And spiders. ...those too. ● So how did you get here? Oh, the usual way. Stork. Seriously?? No. Aw... I was born and raised by the ignorant, taught by the insipid, carried off by the indecent, rescued by the illustrious, tossed aside by the indignant, and eventually brought in by the intellectually insane. And we're back to i's. It was inevitable. ● Anything else you want them to know? I enjoy puzzles, but I am terrible at them. My magic is often useless if not outright detrimental. The Oracle is lazy and unwilling to help anyone if it doesn't suit her at the moment. Bribe her well. The Dark Lord will try to kill us but his minions are fairly incompetent and we have the Storm Trooper effect on our side. No, no tropes! But this is comic fantasy! Everything is allowed! Good lord, what have I unleashed...● I am in a class all my own. Urban Thorne & ? {Fighter} mc2 & Maria {Mage} ● Name: Maria Saville de Argo (what she introduces herself as)//Maria Covarn (her legal name)//The Kindly Mage(partially said in jest)//(behind her back)The Plague or more general insults ● Age: 37 (Though she looks to be in her early to mid twenties. Rumor has it this is thanks to magic: she claims it was merely lucky genetics.) ● Gender: female ● Orientation: straight (and apparently was married once upon a time) ● Appearance: An average height, thin framed woman, who looks to be in her mid twenties, with dirty-blonde hair, hazel eyes, and usually a bored or annoyed expression.● Personality: Essentially she is the sarcastic, somewhat moody, over-powerful mage who likes to think she is better and more powerful than everyone because she has almost never been bested and when she does is a sore loser. She was bred by royalty, runs away for some so called 'freer' life to make it on her own, but still wants the fancy items and clothes she had growing up. She claims she is a tomboy, but for some reason she spends an awful long time in the mirror primping. On a lighter note she does seem to sincerely want the best for others. ● Likes: Using magic, getting paid (preferably a lot), helping people, staying busy, cooking, eating, and good food. ● Dislikes: Being insulted, water (she can get sea-sick in a bathtub), being put in a frilly dress (however, she does appreciate finely made clothes), fighting like a ‘common thug’ (to her meaning not using magic), bad weather, mud, and politics. And, above all senseless evil. ● Fears: Being on boats or deep water, being unable to control her powers, (occasionally) her inability to do good magic and reliance on evil or chaotic magic. ● Bio: She is the granddaughter of Flint Saville, one of the most powerful mages in history, and a lady of minor nobility, Lady Marianna de Argo. She is the second child and daughter of Flint and Marianna’s second child and first son Alexander who married a rouge. Alexander was disowned for this elopement. After an accident (caused by Maria while she was a child) which killed every living thing, including her parents, but her sister in a one mile radius she was sent to live with her grandparents and be trained by her grandfather and some of the most powerful mages around. She was also trained in court etiquette. At twenty-five she left her cushy life with royalty to support herself. She still does by taking quests, missions, and adventures for strangers willing to pay her for her talents. While she isn’t particularly choosy about the things she is hired for, she refuses to use her skills for evil with evil intentions (but killing off or permanently maiming a cheating husband or something, doesn’t seem all that bad, right?). She is also known to take the occasional personal quest without being hired for various reasons. ● Other Info: While her grandfather and her two cousins are mages that specialize in good magic, she has only managed to be able to do the most minor of good magic less than a handful of times. Her talents lie in evil magic; however, she considers herself to fight on the side of good, justice, and righteousness. ● Class: Mage Hoshiko 104 & ? {Rogue} 
● “Hello everyone, Hoshiko 104 here introducing my first Rogue ever!” “Oohhh ~ I’m your first?” Coos a young blonde man as he leans over to Hoshiko, his eyebrows wiggling and a mischievous smile playing across his face.. Hoshiko whips out a large paper fan from thin air and smacks the man on the head with it. “Quiet you! I’m trying to pass you off as a proper gentleman not some silly tomcat! Now,” Hoshiko smiles at the readers, pretending nothing happened as she hides the fan behind her back. “my dear character, would you please introduce yourself to the audience?" –silence...plus a few chirping crickets- Hoshiko looks up at him and whispers threateningly. “Nico, you better start cooperating or I swear I’ll delete you off the computer this time!” “But you told me to be quiet!” the blonde man lifts his hands up in a helpless and innocent gesture. Hoshiko’s eyebrow twitches. “Dear readers! I hope you are all having a pleasant day. I am Nicolas Kamen, purveyor of antiquities and the one stealing them in the first place!” The blonde strikes a charming smile and bows graciously.
● Sighs, but nods in approval. “Now Nicolas, how old are you?” Nicolas’s smile falters, though he instantly picks back up his flare. “I’m not ashamed to admit it. I’m 26, and at the height of physique. Watch in awe as I do 100 pushups!” “Yeah…girly style! Hoshiko sniggers, which draws a frown from Nicolas who then folds his arms and makes a ‘hmph’ sound.
● ”Well it is obvious that you are a male.” "I’m a manly man!" Nicolas adds as he flexes comically, but one can be honest that he is some tasty eye candy.
● However, Hoshiko rolls her eyes and looks over the next cue card. Orientation, well he is heterosexual and can be a bit of a flirt. “What can I say, I just love ze women!” Nicolas shrugs and smiles.
● "Appearance...hmm, I would say you are a sharp dresser, more on the preppy side I've noticed, and you are pretty tall." Hoshiko remarks as she studies Nicolas. "Yeah, how is the weather down there? Nicolas grins, knowing full well that Hoshiko hates being short and having to stretch for items way up top the kitchen cabinet shelves. Hoshiko wags the paper fan threateningly. "Though I wish we could do something about that hair of yours, it keeps falling into your eyes and you have such lovely amber eyes!" "….Aw stop it, you’re making me blush!"..."Now if you only kept your mouth shut." Hoshiko added thoughtfully.
● Hoshiko peers at the next question on the cue card "…Personality? Really? I mean must I say it and if I do I’ll just keep going!" Dominic pouts and makes puppy eyes. "I'm not that terrible Hoshi?!" Hoshiko frowns and points a finger at his chest. "You can be whiny, moody, and act like such a child sometimes!" "Ow, please try not to give me too many burns all at once." Nicolas retorts in a hurt voice as he folds his arms again and looks the other way. Hoshiko rubs her temples. "Sorry sorry, it's just you really need to mature up a bit and be careful if you're going to survive this rp. I worry." Hoshiko states as she wrings her hands together. Nicolas turns to look back at her, and give her a smile, then pats her lightly on the head. "Hey now, I'll be fine." Hoshiko smiles up at him. "You're a good guy, you have your moments of utter ridiculousness and seem to get yourself caught up with the law, but you always manage find a way out. You're resourceful and love to improvise, I think that's what called you to become a thief right? The thrill and challenge of the game. You also don't like seeing others being hurt and in the end you stand up for what is right and what you believe in." Hoshiko finish and nods. "See...I knew I wasn't that terrible" Nicolas winks. "Yeah...but you're starting to give me a headache." She replies in a sour tone, though there is a hint of a smile on her face.
● "Likes? Well you do like alot of things don't you? Also you do drink an awfully great amount of chocolate milk…I mean you might as well have chocolate blood by now…if not encrusted arteries from all the other junk food you eat." "I can't help it! I love my tasty carbs. But I love items of great value or at least shiny things" Nicolas cheers merrily. "Yeah, we know that ...hey quit staring at my watch!"
● Hoshiko hides her watch from view and goes back to the cue card. "Dislikes?" "Being caught of course; I don’t dislike the law and its enforcers, I just don’t like being caught and sentenced...though I always manage to find a way to slip away before they can lock me up, curious no?"
● "Yes...very cuuuurious. Alright, how about fears? "Well besides not being able to have my freedom and being caged…bunnies…they are cute and fluffy but you just know they are up to something...evil." "Bunnies? Evil? Riiight...you can see it in their eyes as they munch on those carrots." "Seriously! Oh! And losing my glasses, I'm blind as a bat without them." "Bats are not blind, you know that right?" "...Just move on to the next "
● "Biography...so what is your story?" "You don’t know?!?" "Ummmm…well…I mean…oh don’t look at me like that…." "That hurts Hoshi! I mean it’s not like you can just suddenly whip me out of thin air….” "Wellll you know…” Nicolas gives her a scandalous look, "Wha...what…what are you…saying?" "I mean surprise! Ha ha, just kidding I totally know your life story and have all sorts of pictures in this scrapbook…look!" Hoshiko now has a giant scrapbook in her hands and Dominic, who had turned his back on her was now creeping back to look over her shoulder. "See what an adventurous child you were? Climbing anything that poised a challenge, showing no fear as you explored, and always looking for buried artifacts and treasure. I guess it's in your genes since both your parents were in the archaeological and museum curator field. You even had the opportunity to travel all over the world with them." Dominic was now leaning over Hoshiko and looking fondly down at the pictures."Yeah, even though I was home schooled I still managed to get into an ivy league. Alumni of Yale with a degree in Antiquities." "Yeah, we should've mentioned your favorite show is the Antiques Roadshow. Didn't you appear as a guest appraiser a couple of times? And wasn't those times unusually linked with missing antiques stolen from the show?" "I have no idea what you are taking about." Hoshiko turned the page and looked thoughtful. "How did you become a thief Nicolas?" Nicolas gave a shrug as his amber eyes surveyed the family photos on the page. "It actually started during my time at Yale, in the thick of my studies. I needed to obtain historical documents to finish my dissertation, but the museum holding the documents wouldn't give me the clearance to look at them...but I really needed them to put the pieces of a puzzle together. So, one day I concocted a plan to break in and take the documents. It was a thrill like I've never known and I discovered I had a knack for the art. I seemed to slip into the shadows and go unnoticed, locks and security devices seemed like an easy puzzle to crack, and the prize was always tantalizing drawing near as I surpassed each obstacle." Nicolas's eyes misted over as he recalled the memories of how his first heist lead to more elaborate schemes for ever increasing elusive and rare items. "But then...your parents passed away and everything changed." Hoshiko prompted as she turned the page. Nicolas closed his eyes and nodded. He recalled the shock and distraught he felt after hearing about their plane crashing into a mountainside due to a storm...there were no survivors. "I had just finished school, graduated top class, at least they got to see that. But after their passing I took over the family business, an antiquity store that was full to the ceiling with treasures from around the world." "But you didn't give up on stealing fabulous items?" Hoshiko inquired as she looked up at Nicolas. "Guilty as charged…Thanks Hoshi, you know for being there and all." Nicolas said as he puts an arm around Hoshiko and leans his head on hers. Hoshiko smiles softly and pats his arm that he draped across her back. “You’re a good guy Nico. I'm proud of you and I’ll be watching over you ya’know.” “Yeah” Nico sighs, seemingly at peace “Come on now, let’s get pumped for your adventure!”
● Other Info: Nicolas lives in present day New York, where he tends to the family antique store by day and pulls off heists at night. He has noticed a few...talents he has been blessed with. Nicolas can seemingly coax a lock of any type to break...but it takes time and he needs to talk to the lock...yes...talk to it and coax it to open by saying the right things. The young man is well versed in wielding a sword and throwing daggers with good with good aim. He never leaves fingerprints even though he has a penchant for touching everything. Nicolas moves with stealth and can sometimes turn into a wisp of smoke...though he doesn't know how he does it, the timing just needs to right and he has gotten stuck in the wisp form at times. There are still more unusual things that occur to Nicolas and while it seems that Lady Fortune is giving him her blessing...with a windfall there is always be bad luck to follow.
● Class: RogueCheshiyre & Tabi (and Dragit) {The Other}  ● What's your name? Tabitha Merkwood, but most people call me Tabi. *STARE* Oh, and this is Dragit. ● How old are you anyway? Old enough to see over the counter. Now pour the drink. I am a paying customer! ● Gender? Ugh, I swear by Loki's lugger nuts! What is wrong with you people? Why can't you tell the difference between a female goblin and a male goblin? Seriously, evolving on the surface didn't do your kind any favours. ● Orientation? Look, I don't know what you've heard about goblins but whatever you are thinking, just.. No. ::eyes suspiciously:: What are you, some kind of perv? *LAH!* Easy Dragit! ::peers at the Perv:: You might want to think about leaving now. *more STARE* That's it. Go to the corner Mister. *LAHBALABALAH! fwapfwapfwaps away to corner with a grunt* There, now where were we? ● Appearance? You know, it's very rude to stare. HUH? It's no good asking him, he's deaf as a post! Mumble mumble mumble, you're a wonderful conversational companion! You can talk, all you do is moan! No good! Can't hear you!● Personality? I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave. o.O;● So what are your favorite things? You remind me of the babe. What babe? The babe with the power. What power? The power of voodoo. Who do?? You do. DO WHAT?? Remind me of the babe... ● Dare I ask what you don't like? I saw my babeh cryin hard as babe could cry. Awww! What could I do? What was wrong with him? My babeh's love had gone and left my babeh blue... Wow, what a harlot! Nobody knew.. ● Fears? The Bog of Eternal Stench. A bog? You wouldn't be so brave if you'd ever smelled the Bog of Eternal Stench. It's, it's... Is that all it does, is smell? Oh believe me, that's enough! But the worst thing is, if you so much as set a foot in the Bog of Stench you'll smell bad for the rest of your life. Eew. It'll never wash off.. ● So how did you get here? Once upon a time, there was a beautiful young girl whose stepmother always made her stay home with the baby. And the baby was a spoiled child, and wanted everything to himself, and the young girl was practically a slave. But what no one knew is that the king of the goblins had fallen in love with the the girl, and he had given her certain powers... Whoa.● Anything else you want them to know? Don't go on... Go back while you still can... This is not the way... Take heed, and go no further... Beware, Beware... Soon it will be too late.. Oh shut up! I'm sorry, I'm just doing my job. Well you don't have to it to it us. Oh please, I haven't said it in such a long time. Oh all right, but don't expect a big reaction. No, no, no of course not! ::clears throat, deep booming voice:: For the path you will take will lead you to certain destruction! Achem. Thank you very much. ● *AARWLRWLRWLWRWLRWL!!!* Dragit, NO! DRAGIT!!! *catches narrator in his net and triumphantly fwapfwaps away to eat his prize* ... ... ::sighs:: I told him he should have left...
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Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2012 6:52 pm
As It Stands... ● The story so far. ● Because I am addicted to bullet points. ● It's a serious problem.
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Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2012 6:58 pm
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Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2012 6:59 pm
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Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2012 7:00 pm
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Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2012 7:00 pm
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Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2012 7:00 pm
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Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2012 7:01 pm
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Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2012 7:01 pm
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Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2012 7:01 pm
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Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2012 7:01 pm
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Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2012 7:04 pm
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