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What is this world

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Drakulya666

Liberal Werewolf

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 05, 2006 3:37 pm


What is this world
In which we live

If guns rang out
In the middle of the night
Would anyone be shocked
A helicopter flying by
Is nothing like it used to be

On any channel
You can hear
That a war has taken more lives
A murder
A suicide
A riot gone wrong
And still more death
When once this would shock us
Will only make us think
How sad

That atomic clock
Is ticking fast
As midnight is near
How can we turn back
The destruction
In which we have caused
And stop this world
From a chaotic end
PostPosted: Sun Mar 05, 2006 7:29 pm


Drakulya666
What is this world
In which we live

If guns rang out
In the middle of the night
Would anyone be shocked
A helicopter flying by
Is nothing like it used to be

On any channel
You can hear
That a war has taken more lives
A murder
A suicide
A riot gone wrong
And still more death
When once this would shock us
Will only make us think
How sad

That atomic clock
Is ticking fast
As midnight is near
How can we turn back
The destruction
In which we have caused
And stop this world
From a chaotic end


So true, so true. Like for example, i work at a grocery store, and a balloon popped, and everyone like jumped and ppl were all like wow someone coulda been shot ... wow

iluvwritin


androidprincesst

PostPosted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 11:10 pm


I really dig the third stanza. The forth is good too, though I think it needs to flow a little better. And I don't like the line "In which we have caused" as much as the stuff around it. Good work though.
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The Cranky Writers' Guild

 
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