|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2012 9:50 am
 Name: Melian Sambrook
Nickname: Sting (friends only)
Age: 18
Birthday: March 1
Sign: Pisces
Gemstone: Amethyst
Blood Type: O
Fav. Food: Grilled Vegetables w/Tofu, Steamed Rice and Sweet Chili Sauce
Hated Food: Animal meat of any kind. If it has a face, she won't touch it.
School: Sovereign Heights Prep School
Hobbies:
Tolkien Nerd - It started out innocently enough. Melian's parents would read the Hobbit to her when she was little as a bedtime treat. When she was enough to read for herself, they gave her a beautiful hardcover set of Tolkien's books; not only The Hobbit, but the LotR trilogy as well as the Silmarillon. Granted, it took her a while to work her way through some of the weightier books, but she did it. And a complete and utter nerd was born. Not only does she religiously read all the books, in order, at least twice a year, she owns and watches every movie, including the crappy Ralph Bakshi animated LotR. She's found online courses to teach her how to speak Elvish and she will happily whip it out if she feels a normal insult or greeting just aren't good enough. Ask her to name the Valar at some point. You will get not only their names, but their ranks, powers and spouses. She even owns every replica weapon she can get her tiny little paws on as well as a replica of the One Ring that she wears on a chain around her neck.
Melian will share her love for Tolkien with you. Whether you want her to or not. Hey, Stephen Colbert. Come at her, bro.
Cosplay - There's just something about dressing up in a costume and running around Destiny City that appeals hugely to Melian. She's only been cosplaying for a couple of years, but it is something she's thrown herself into whole-heartedly. Granted, she's mainly kept herself to characters out of Tolkien's works, but she's branching out! She just completed a rockin' steampunk Princess Peach that she's awfully proud of. And she wants to try making a Naga the Serpent cosplay next.
Just don't expect her to confine her cosplay tendencies to conventions and shows. She will wear them out in public with no qualms and no shame.
Renaissance Faires - Strangely enough, Melian doesn't dress up like an Elf or a Hobbit when she goes to a Ren Faire. Typically, she's in armor she made for herself, beating the hell out of big, strong men with a bamboo practice sword. Melian is not a wench, nor will she dress like one. She'd rather enjoy herself by playing at war and dueling. And when circumstances dictate that she dress in a more feminine manner, she has a couple of pretty gowns she sewed herself.
Community Theatre - Whether it is on stage or off, Melian adores doing community theatre. There's just something about all those weeks of frantic preparation and work culminating into that opening night that appeals to her. And she's been doing it since her mother decided she was old enough to wield a hammer or hold a pin cushion without seriously damaging herself. It's hard work, but oh so much fun!
Virtues:
Hard-Working - Regardless of whether it is yard work, homework or volunteer work, Melian will, without fail, give you 110%. Her personal philosophy is that one plays better if they've worked hard beforehand and earned it.
Fearless - Very little phases Melian. She will try anything and everything at least once, regardless of her own discomfort. She's eaten toasted bugs for a survival course, gone out camping by herself, sat in a graveyard at midnight after watching Night of the Living Dead and gotten into fights with bigger, meaner kids. It's not that she doesn't wonder and worry a little about the What Ifs. It's more that she thinks about them for half a second before telling them to go ******** themselves sideways, she has s**t to do today. Whatever her failings, no one has ever been able to accuse Melian Sambrook of cowering back while the rest of the world was out there doing stuff.
Detail Oriented - One of the things that makes Melian such a good worker is her attention to detail. With Melian around, you need never fear that the little things won't be taken care of, whether it be a particular trinket for a costume or making sure that the kid down the street doesn't see something he shouldn't. If the Devil is in the details, Melian has made him her b***h.
Honest - Melian will not lie. Ever. Childhood whippings with her father's belt applied to her a** kind of taught her how lying was never the way to go. Being honest in her dealings is a point of honor with her. And frankly, she'd rather wallow in horse s**t than lie or be thought of as a liar.
Flaws:
Acerbic - To say Melian has a sharp tongue is akin to saying that Jaws merely nibbled upon his victims. Those nearest and dearest to Melian's heart call her Sting behind her back. Sure, the Tolkien reference is there, but really? They call her that because she is tiny and armed with sharply pointed words that cut to the quick. And since she won't lie, her words can be extraordinarily harsh. And sometimes, she takes great delight in finding the most cutting words to put her opinion forth.
Lack of Empathy - Melian has a pretty clear idea of how people should act and react in the face of various things. She knows in her head, but that knowledge doesn't really make it to her heart. She's utterly boggled when she encounters someone crying over a dead pet or relative. Everything dies, why get so worked up about it? Or the friends who've had nasty breakups. Okay, sure they were together for a while, but seriously? Lots of other possibilities. Why cry and rage and waste all that time and energy over people and things that, in the grand scheme of things, just don't matter?
Cruel - While a lack of empathy and compassion might be unpleasant in and of themselves, pair it with a distinct enjoyment of causing discomfort and pain and you have a wee, burgeoning monster on your hands. Frankly, Melian enjoys bullying and causing some form of harm to others. Usually it's someone she doesn't know well, if only because most of her friends tend to display masochistic tendencies. And well, putting the hurt on is much less fun if the other person is getting off on it. And while she may be tiny, she knows where to hit physically and verbally in order to have her fun.
Elitist - Simply put, Melian thinks she's better than you. Actually, she knows it. She's been a geek girl before it got all popular. She's been to more conventions, suffered more unwashed groping and frankly, loved the inspirations behind her nerdery for a lot longer than you. Step off, little girls, you don't deserve to be a fan here. You haven't been doing it long enough. Such poseurs!
PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION - Ref
Body: 4'6", curvy
Eyes: See ref for color, almond shaped, but a tad on the wide side.
Hair: Please see ref
Face: Heart shaped face, snub nose, average ears. Lips should be a pale shade of asphixiated blue green. 2 small silver hoops towards the middle/top of ear ear, slightly larger hoops in the lobes.
Clothes: SH uniform w/the girl pants/Something like what she's wearing in the ref image. Additionally, along with her earrings, she always has a replica One Ring on a chain that she wears as a necklace.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2012 9:52 am
Senshi: Sailor Orcus, Dark Mirror Senshi of Drowning
Challenge: Noro lim, Ninque Isil! (Tolkien Elvish for Run Fast, White Moon!)
Fuku Colours:
Main Color: Black
Secondary Color: Varying shades of Greyish Green-Blue
Fuku: Should have a water distressed cloth theme going
Collar -- Style - CC
Bow -- Front - CC, Backbow, yes - CC
Bodice -- Corset and overlay, appearance is CC
Sleeves -- Detached, slightly puffy short sleeves with longer, sheer bits of fabric forming an open "sleeve" that extends to her fingertips
Brooch -- CC - appropriate for DMC
Bottoms -- Skirt - CC
Tiara -- CC
Choker -- Yes - CC
Shoes -- CC
Gloves -- Style - CC
Accessories -- Metal bracelets/bracers - CC, everything else, CC
Attacks:
Sailor Scout Attack: Drowning's Hint
Effects - Orcus is able to pull water from her surroundings (drier environments will make the attack weaker as there is less water to summon). As it comes together, the water forms a heavy mist that attaches to the target's face and lasts for approximately 10-15 seconds. The mist makes breathing difficult, as if the victim is in an especially humid environment. Sensations of pressure making it hard to draw a full breath are common as is some choking and coughing (think along the lines of swallowing a drink wrong). Visually, the mist ripples and reflects like to cast an almost watery appearance over the target.
Super Sailor Scout Attack: Drowning's Touch
Effects - As above, Orcus is able to pull water from her surroundings. The mist is slightly more substantial now and takes on a shifting, blob-like form. The attack lasts up to 20 seconds and this time, the blob-like water seeks to envelop the target's head. The effects to the victim are similar to her first attack, just slightly intensified. From a visual standpoint, it almost looks as though the target is floating in deep water.
Eternal Sailor Attack: Drowning's Kiss
Effects - Same as above with a duration of 25-35 seconds. This time, the water flows together to form a humanoid golem-like figure. The water golem then attempts to seize and "kiss" its target, creating a tactile illusion of water being forced into the lungs. The sensations of drowning and not being able to draw a full breath are more pronounced, as is the choking feeling and coughing fits. Some feelings of mild dizziness and weakness are also common as the attack ends. Visually, the victim seems to be held by a human-like figure that casts a watery, rippling light over them, making it look as if both are deep underwater floating.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2013 1:17 pm
Hey, Fairymount! Congratulations on winning Melian! I know you only won her civ, but to save time and confusion in the future, I hope you don't mind if I leave crit for her powered, too?
All of her hobbies and virtues look excellent to me! For her flaws, there was only one thing that stuck out to me, and that was 'Sadistic' trait. The description works fine, it's just the title! I think that maybe labeling the trait as 'cruel' might work better [since sadistic has heavy sexual undertones]. Other than that, though, I think her civilian side is ready to go!
For her powered side, the name and sphere look good to me [and I love her challenge!]. The only thing I have concern for are some of the aspects of her attacks.
Sailor Scout Attack: Drowning's Hint
My first question about this is, when you say she pulls water from her surroundings, would the strength of her attack vary depending on if she was in a moist environment/a dry one?
My second question is, does the mist allow them to breathe at all or is it just like trying to breathe in a really humid environment? Or like they have been submerged in water? In which case, if it is like breathing in a humid environment, I would be okay with the 30 second duration, however if it is like they are submerged in water, I think it might be a good idea to decrease the time, if only because thirty seconds of not being able to breathe can be really dangerous—especially if you have an opponent attacking you.
Super Sailor Scout Attack: Drowning's Touch
Unfortunately, I feel as though this attack has too many things upgrading from the basic attack; typically from the basic attack to super, only two aspects of the attack should change [such as duration, radius, effect strength/additional effects, number of people involved], but in this attack you have all of these things getting a boost. For this reason, I am wondering if you might consider taking out the radius for her attacks since their only purpose seem to be pulling water out of the surroundings? I think that if she is summoning magic, she could just summon a mist/blob like form to hang around their head and affect them. If you go this route, then the only thing changing is duration/number of people affected/strength of the magic. Now, I'm kind of inferring that the person can still breathe a bit since they are choking and coughing, though they just have an increased sensation of drowning during this stage. At this stage, I am still uncomfortable with the magic exceeding thirty seconds though, just because not being able to properly breathe can be seriously debilitating already in battle, and 45 seconds might be overkill. My suggestion would be to drop the time some because, picturing this, I see her magic as making it very difficult to breathe, so her opponents will be distracted, probably getting light headed, and cannot properly defend themselves from attacks. I think that 45 seconds of such a heavy attack could leave the opponent seriously impaired and far too vulnerable.
Eternal Sailor Attack: Drowning's Kiss
While I think the other two attacks need only kind of minor tweaks, such as duration and clarification on effects of the attack, this one might need a little more. Firstly, I'm still of the opinion that you could cut out the radius/taking water out of the air aspect. Secondly, I think that this is a very powerful, potentially lethal attack, and I think that allowing it to persist for a whole minute is too dangerous. I would be more comfortable if the attack lasted for nearly half of what it does. Now, for visual effect, I'm okay with the water golem kissing it's target, however it shouldn't be able to do anything but that [Like, it can't choose a target, it can only form in front of the person Orcus suggests; it shouldn't be able to fight or anything and should literally just exist to 'kiss'/'drown']. When it gets to the effects this attack produces, I think they are too strong—for example, the victim's lungs fill with water and "the majority of victims are left alive" but are "extremely weak from lack of air and dizziness". I don't think any sort of water should actually enter the victim's lungs, but rather it should just be the sensation of such [because otherwise this attack could literally kill someone, which no senshi attack—even DMC—should do]. Plus, the victim being extremely weak/dizzy after this makes them too vulnerable to me. If the attack duration was shorter and there was no chance of water remaining in the victim's lungs afterwards [in this instance, I think it would be okay to actually have some water get into them, just as long as there wasn't a chance to develop pneumonia or some infection sometime after the battle], I think this attack would be approvable even with the potential weakness/dizziness [since these are logical effects of water in the lungs].
I know I've said a lot, so instead of expanding or continuing, I'm going to stop there and leave you with this—sorry that I got kind of lengthy with the attacks! She is looking really good and I really think that she'll be ready for a trial stamp soon! I love her challenge and I really like the concept you've got for her, so if you've got any questions, comments or make any changes, give me a quote and I'll be back soon!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 8:24 am
I see what you mean. XD Made some changes to the attacks to hopefully make them more reasonable. <3
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 11:42 am
She looks fabulous to me, and I think those are totally reasonable and effective attacks! Thank you so much! 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 12:55 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
