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 Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2012 3:37 pm
Hey, I'm new but I figure I'll do my best to participate. So this is just a general gathering of any and all written works. I'll start with one of my own in hopes it will be enjoyed.
Death
In the rhythm of the last souls,
the ones that still cling to th e cracks
not ready to admit their fall,
every ready to be picked back up
they peer through those cracks.
upon their funerals and wakes,
some understanding because they have
indeed.
lost before
the cracks grow colder and the essence of fingers
grow weak,
some seeing that they are well rested
thy drifted behind and beyond
while the Clingers.
watch their form lay stationary.
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Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2012 8:34 am
I love it! There are some errors, mainly missing letters, and it doesn't seem to flow. I hope you don't mind if I edit it.
It also seems like it could go on...maybe see if people can add on in the Writing Games sub forum. Or crack some head for ideas if you have none.
In the rhythm of the last souls,
The ones that still cling to the cracks.
Not ready to admit their fall,
Ever ready to be picked back up.
They peer through those cracks.
Upon their funerals and wakes,
Some understanding,
Because they have indeed lost.
Before the cracks grow colder,
And the essence of fingers grow weak,
Some seeing that they are well rested .
They drifted behind and beyond,
While the Clingers watch,
Their form lay stationary.
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Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2012 8:52 pm
Hey, much better! Thanks a lot.
Most of the poems and things that I write I am too lazy to go back and fix.
I'm like that with a lot of things, and I suppose it's my Achilles heel.
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